Nope! We're Not Monogamous

What if the thing you're craving most isn't another dating app, another relationship book, or another set of rules? What if it's community? In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, Ellecia sits down with Jamie Love, Executive Director of Sex Positive World, to talk about the power of finding spaces where you can show up authentically, explore with curiosity, and realize you're not as alone as you thought. They dive into what sex positivity actually means beyond the stereotypes, why comm...

If you’ve been feeling resentful in your open relationship, this episode is for you. In Episode 147 of Nope, We’re Not Monogamous, I break down why resentment in non-monogamy is rarely about jealousy or bad communication. It’s usually about boundaries. Specifically: The boundary you didn’t setThe boundary you didn’t enforceOr the agreement your body never truly consented toSo many people in ethical non-monogamy confuse boundaries with rules, agreements, or ultimatums. When that happens, resen...

Struggling to tell the difference between needs vs wants in non-monogamy? If you’ve learned to be “low maintenance” and tolerate a lot, you might be minimizing your emotional needs without realizing it. In this episode, we explore how trauma, people-pleasing, and polyamory culture can teach us to need less, and why you’re allowed to want more. There’s no prize for needing less. You’re not needy. You’re human. What You’ll Learn • Why “needs vs wants” is the wrong question to ask • How ch...

What if non-monogamy wasn’t something you planned… but something you found your way into? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m joined by Natalie Davis, editor of Polyamory Today and author of the memoir Saying Yes: My Adventures in Non-monogamy. Natalie shares her deeply human journey from a traditional, long-term monogamous marriage through infidelity, swinging, and polyamory, and how that path eventually led to building a chosen family that includes her partner and her metamou...

We talk a lot about honesty in open relationships and non-monogamy. Tell the truth. Name the jealousy. Share your feelings. But what happens when you open up and your partner tries to fix it, explain it away, or tells you you shouldn’t feel that way? In this episode, Ellecia Paine breaks down why honesty alone doesn’t create emotional safety, how emotional invalidation quietly shuts people down in non-monogamous relationships, and what real validation actually looks like. We explore jealousy,...

What do you do when your partner says they are open to non monogamy, but only under very specific rules? Only dating women. Only forming a triad. Only dating together as a couple. In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non monogamous relationship coach Ellecia Paine breaks down what’s really underneath rules like the One Penis Policy and forced triads, and how to talk about them without turning the conversation into a power struggle. This episode is a continuation of Episode 138, wher...

What if the desires you’re most afraid to admit are actually the key to your freedom? What if the parts of you you’ve labeled as “too much,” “too weird,” or “too taboo” are the exact places your healing has been waiting for you to look? In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Sharon Marie Scott, Erotic Mystic, author of Forbidden Alchemy, and longtime educator in kink, conscious relating, and ethical non-monogamy. Sharon’s work bridges mysticism, sensual embodiment, psychology, and the...

Ever tried to think your way out of a feeling? You read the books, have the talks, highlight every chapter on jealousy and self-regulation… and your nervous system just shrugs and says, “That’s cute, I’m still panicking.” This week on Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m getting real about the hilarious (and exhausting) ways we try to outsmart our emotions, and why logic doesn’t work when your body doesn’t feel safe. In this solo episode, I share my own “self-help fails,” the moment I realized you...