Chapter 17-Can the trauma of adoption worsen or diminish depending on the adopting family?

Chapter 17-Can the trauma of adoption worsen or diminish depending on the adopting family?

From Nothing personal by Natalie K

June 19, 2024 · 23 min

About this episode

The episode explores how the adopting family's treatment can influence the trauma experienced by adopted individuals.

The family that adopts us is our world. In that world, we live, we breathe, and we grow. They are our reference, our starting point, our home. There's no way that whatever our adoptive family does won't influence us.  Of course, it's important to remember that all families are different, all adopted individuals are different, all adoption situations are different, and all forms of relationships are different. It's difficult to generalize and simply say that if things happen one way or another way, the trauma will automatically diminish. But what I discovered in my case, and from what others have told me, is that the way the adopting family treats us, will either reinforce or heal the trauma of feeling that "I was abandoned because there's something inherently wrong with me," also known as that internal voice that, like a broken record, says, "Obviously, I was born to be abandoned and rejected. That's my fate, that's who I am."  Those internalized voices, those beliefs, came from somewhere. It's not something children just came up with on their own. It's not something they choose. In 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, I found myself battling my demons: my codependency…

People in this episode

Host: Natalie K

Topics covered

  • adoption
  • trauma
  • family dynamics
  • mental health
  • identity
  • codependency

Keywords

  • adoption trauma
  • family influence
  • internalized beliefs
  • mental health
  • codependency
  • boundaries
  • toxic relationships

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