Chapter 20-Why can't you feel all the love around you?

Chapter 20-Why can't you feel all the love around you?

From Nothing personal by Natalie K

July 22, 2025 · 19 min

About this episode

Natalie explores the challenges of letting go of the past and finding self-acceptance through therapy and group support for adoptees.

“What happened was a long time ago, Natalie. You’re the one who won’t let go of the past.” How I wish I could. Just let the past go. Be free, live in the here and now. My whole life—what now amounts to thirty years of therapy, thirty years of meditating, and seventeen in the twelve-step program—has been about trying to accept and let go. I can’t control the world, but I can take responsibility for my actions, for seeking help. The message has always been the same: Accept, feel, let go, and be grateful. Accept, feel, let go, be grateful. Become aware, act accordingly, give myself love, value myself, ignore the voices in my head that keep repeating the message of worthlessness. That message that breathes through every pore of my being. Before I even realize it, it’s there, whispering in my ear, offering explanations for why people around me behave the way they do. Always confirming the underlying belief. Blinding me to the complex, nuanced reality. Of course I know all this, so even feeling pain or anger makes me ashamed. How do I know if what I feel and perceive is real, or if it’s trauma? Where is my truth? What is real? And again: Why can’t I let go of this identity? Very…

People in this episode

Host: Natalie

Topics covered

  • identity
  • adoption
  • mental health
  • self-acceptance
  • trauma
  • therapy

Keywords

  • adoption
  • therapy
  • self-love
  • mental health
  • trauma
  • acceptance
  • letting go

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: adopterad.com

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