Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

How do we help our children navigate change when their hearts are breaking over what they're leaving behind?In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a lifetime of moving, from her childhood years spent relocating across the country to the many ministry moves she's made as a wife and mom. She explores the unique challenges of helping children process transitions, say goodbye to people and places they love, and learn to trust God in unfamiliar seasons.Drawing from personal stories of moving with young children, leaving beloved churches and communities, and helping her family build new lives in new places, Scarlet discusses the tension many parents feel: wanting their children to embrace what's ahead without minimizing the grief of what's being left behind.But this episode isn't ultimately about moving.It's about belonging.It's about helping our children understand that while homes, schools, churches, friendships, and circumstances may change, God never does.Through biblical examples like Abraham, Moses, Ruth, and the Israelites, Scarlet highlights a powerful theme woven throughout Scripture: God's people have always been travelers, strangers, and sojourners learning to trust Him in unfamiliar places. The Christian life has never been about finding perfect security in this world. It's about learning to anchor our hearts in the One who never changes.In this episode, Scarlet discusses:• How to help children grieve the people, places, and routines they love• Why grief is not evidence that a move or transition was a mistake• The tension of feeling both excitement and sadness during major life changes• Biblical examples of faithful people who followed God into the unknown• Why earthly homes, relationships, and comforts make poor ultimate foundations• How transitions reveal where we are placing our security and identity• Practical ways to help children build trust in God's faithfulness during uncertain seasons• How to cultivate gratitude for God's gifts without clinging too tightly to themToday's Scripture Focus: Hebrews 11:13–16A special thank you to Caroline Downen who shared her own moving to Japan and back experience during the Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.00:00 Embracing Transitions: A Personal Journey12:02 Navigating Grief and Change with Kids17:50 Finding Home in a Changing WorldResources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinutePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Legacy is something every family is building, whether intentionally or not. But in the middle of busy schedules and full lives, it can be easy to lose sight of what we’re actually passing down.In this month’s My Virtual Mentor episode, Jeff Henderson, author, pastor, and leader, shares wisdom on what it means to live and lead with legacy in mind. The conversation explores what truly matters at the end of our lives, the values we want to instill in our children, and how to be more intentional with the time we’ve been given.We talk about the tension between work and family, why choosing your family matters more than you think, and how everyday decisions shape the kind of legacy you leave behind.This episode is designed to not only encourage personal growth, but also spark meaningful conversations, with a mentor, spouse, or trusted friend, about the kind of life and family you want to build.If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the previous episodes:My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship MattersMy Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with GodMy Virtual Mentor: Personalities and TemperamentsMy Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating MarginMy Virtual Mentor: Identity in Christ (Part 1 and Part 2)My Virtual Mentor: Prioritizing Your Marriage Chapters:00:00 Reconnecting at Chick-fil-A Headquarters05:01 Lessons on Leadership and Legacy from Truett Cathy12:50 End-of-Life Perspectives: What Truly Matters17:04 Navigating Parenting with Encouragement and Wisdom18:20 The Weight of Words22:14 Preparing for Impact23:35 Defining Legacy and Values28:01 Carrying on Family Traditions34:20 Leadership and Influence in Parenting37:43 A Prayer for ParentsMY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (MARRIAGE)Scripture to memorize:Deuteronomy 6:5-7Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.Scriptures for prayer and study:Psalm 78:4, Matthew 6:20-21, Psalm 103:17, Proverbs 29:18Books for further study:Eat Mor Chikin: Inspire More People by Truett CathyChoosing to Cheat by Andy StanleyThe Legacy Life by David GreenDivine Disruption by Tony Evans and childrenDiscussion questions:What do you want to pass down from your parents?What do you want your kids to say about you when your life is over? What values matter most to you? Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Jeff HendersonWhat To Do Next by Jeff HendersonFOR by Jeff HendersonResources from Titus 2 MentoringOpen a LearningRX center Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Marriage can be both deeply challenging and incredibly beautiful, and many couples experience seasons of disconnection along the way.In this episode, Cheryl Scruggs shares her powerful story of reconciliation after walking through divorce and finding her way back to her husband years later. Together, the conversation explores the realities of marriage, the slow drift that can happen over time, and the hope that restoration is possible, even after deep hurt.We talk about the importance of communication, the danger of letting resentment grow in silence, and the role of community in helping marriages stay healthy. There is also practical encouragement for women who want to be more intentional in their relationships and create space for honesty and healing.This episode is a reminder that while marriage takes work, it is also a place where God can bring growth, redemption, and renewed connection.Here are the verses she shared!Matthew 19:26With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.Deuteronomy 8:2 (read full chapter too)Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.Ephesians 3:20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.Chapters:00:00 Navigating Life's Challenges03:02 The Journey of Marriage Ministry06:02 Crisis in Marriage: Recognizing the Signs09:09 Building a Stronger Connection11:59 The Importance of Vulnerability in Relationships19:20 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nesting22:02 The Importance of Nurturing Intimacy24:34 Overcoming Disconnection in Marriage27:32 The Role of Counseling in Strengthening Relationships29:59 Practical Steps to Show Love and Respect31:54 Finding Hope and Redemption in MarriageConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Cheryl and JeffThriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s podcastThriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s newest bookI Do Again - Jeff and Cheryl’s bookOpen a LearningRX centerSign up for Morning MinutePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Foster care is a journey that holds both deep brokenness and incredible beauty. For many families, it can also feel overwhelming to know how to step in and support children from hard places.In this episode, Meredith Brock, CEO of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a foster and adoptive mom, shares insights from her family’s experience with foster care and how the journey has shaped her faith and motherhood. The conversation explores the realities of caring for vulnerable children, the tension of holding both joy and heartbreak, and the ways God often meets families in their most difficult moments.Together they talk about what it looks like to support children with hard stories, how foster care can refine and stretch a family’s faith, and why the church has such an important role in caring for these kids.It’s also a reminder that supporting the foster care system isn’t limited to becoming a foster parent. Whether through respite care, advocacy, or supporting families already in the system, there are meaningful ways we can all step in and help.00:00 Introduction and Personal Background05:53 The Call to Foster Care11:57 The Importance of Community Support17:58 Respite Care and Community Involvement24:07 Personal Growth Through Foster CareConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with MeredithConnect with Proverbs 31 on InstagramProverbs 31 MinistriesFoster the Family Open a LearningRX centerSign up for Morning MinuteChristian ParentingPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy