Parenting Autism and ADHD

Does your child “just not get out of bed” for school? Maybe mornings dissolve into stand‑offs, shouting, threats of consequences… and yet nothing changes. You’re exhausted, they’re shut down, and everyone keeps telling you it’s “behaviour,” “laziness,” or “bad parenting.” In this solo episode, Cliff gently pulls back the curtain on what’s really happening for many autistic, ADHD, and otherwise neurodivergent kids whose bodies simply can’t face the noise, crowds, and pressure of the school day. He explains why anxiety doesn’t always look like anxiety – it can look like refusal, silence, avoidance, or disappearing under the duvet – and why shouting only pushes them further into shutdown. Then, explains how his CALM approach breaks the negative cycle, helping your child and you. EPISODE REVEALS • What looks like won’t get up or lazy can actually be a child overwhelmed by sensory overload and anxiety. • Shouting at a shut down child doesn´t work. It simply adds to the overload. • What looks like refusal is quite possibly your child protecting themselves. Pausing and asking what they are protecting themselves from and using Cliff´s CALM method helps you to identify how to help your child. • Calm yourself first, acknowledge what’s happening, lower the pressure and model safety, then later reset with reflection, empathy, and conversation when the child’s system is ready. • Being empathetic and genuinely listening greatly improves communication, which is crucial. • Being soft and persistent as a parent can be more powerful and transformative than force or harshness. BEST MOMENTS "To the parent that doesn't know about this stuff, it can look like behaviour." "Is shouting actually helping, is it working?" "Empathise – that means listening." "Stay calm and be soft - It sounds like a weakness (but isn´t)." RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CALM reset episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/calm-first-reset-later-supporting-anxious-neurodivergent/id1810681675?i=1000762975674 The Tao Te Ching - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tao-Ching-Classics-Lao-Tzu/dp/014044131X CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body doubling and step by step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

In this episode, Cliff and his daughter Eva have a candid, unfiltered conversation about the proposed UK social media ban for under‑16s. They explore how platforms like YouTube and gaming chats help many autistic and ADHD kids regulate, connect and unwind – and why a blanket ban could do more harm than good. Eva shares why she and many of her friends and classmates who are also neuro-divergent and under 16 have mixed feelings about the proposed ban. Cliff digs into the risks of digital IDs and face verification, while both emphasise that real online safety comes from informed, involved parenting, not one‑size‑fits‑all government control. EPISODE REVEALS For many neurodivergent kids, social media is a core regulation tool. Often, it´s how they decompress, connect and create predictable background noise after hard days. Sudden removal of access to platforms kids social on risks emotional “crash” and withdrawal. A blanket ban cuts off access to a source of music, educational videos and fun content as well as potentially harmful content. Tough love around tech - consistent limits, bedtimes, and content guidance - can feel harsh in the moment, yet over time children often reinterpret it as care and safety. Monitoring tools help a lot, but they don´t catch everything and are not a replacement for a strong relationship and open conversations with your child. Digital ID requirements and face verification raise serious concerns about privacy, data security and future social‑credit‑style control, especially when normalised for children. BEST MOMENTS "At the end of the day, this isn't the government's job, is it? It's ours." "Yes, it's going to be difficult, but you've got the tools. You've got, then the knowledge what's going on with your child." "Social media is how most people my age, possibly younger, connect with each other." "It's not going to help that you kids have grown up with this, and then suddenly it's cut away. So, there's going to be withdrawal symptoms." EPISODE RESOURCES FamiSafe: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

This episode explores how time blindness, sleep disruption, and executive functioning challenges contribute to increased anxiety and meltdowns in neurodivergent children during the clock change. Cliff explains how circadian rhythm shifts impact emotional regulation, focus, and overall functioning in children with ADHD and autism. In this solo episode, Cliff gets right to the heart of how the recent clock change affects neurodivergent children. Diving into the biology behind circadian rhythms, he explains why the seemingly harmless spring forward can lead to increased meltdowns, dysregulation, and school refusal for kids who rely heavily on routine. With the Easter holidays compounding these schedule disruptions, this episode is a vital reminder for parents to give their kids (and themselves) some much-needed grace and space. EPISODE REVEALS The disruption caused by changing the clocks isn't behavioral defiance; it is a fundamental disruption of a child's biological circadian rhythm, affecting their sleep, energy, and focus. Studies from the American Heart Association show a 24% increase in heart attacks and a rise in strokes immediately following the time change, highlighting the severe physical toll this biological disruption takes. During times of dysregulation, parents should prioritize helping their child regulate their nervous system rather than enforcing strict discipline or demanding answers in the heat of the moment. Encourage children to become silent observers of their thoughts. Using hypnotherapy techniques, like giving their inner "mind bully" a ridiculous voice, can help strip away the power of negative self-talk. BEST MOMENTS "It's probably tough enough for neurotypical people and children, but when you add neurodivergence into the mix, we don't like change." "Become the silent observer of your own thoughts... suddenly the power starts to drift out of that negative self-talk." EPISODE RESOURCES https://www.neurodiverselifeskills.com/ Kathryn Lovewel episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/nurture-kindness-confidence-and-self-compassion/id1810681675?i=1000745971907 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today, Cliff is joined by Kirsty Heap an HR professional and advocate for neurodiversity in the workplace. As someone who has been diagnosed with both dyslexia and ADHD Kirsty brings both professional expertise and lived experience to the conversation. Together, they explore what neurodiversity really means inside organisations, how workplaces can better support neurodivergent employees, and why understanding different ways of thinking, communicating, and processing the world isn't just good for people, it's good for business too. They talk about the realities many neurodivergent individuals face at work, from recruitment and disclosure to adjustments, burnout, masking and building environments where people can genuinely thrive. If you're a parent thinking about your child's future in the workplace, an employer wanting to better support your team, or someone navigating work while neurodivergent yourself, this conversation is for you. EPISODE REVEALS Teach your children to be kind to themselves. Develop a toolbox with them that they can use to silence the internal voice that keeps telling them that they are not good enough. It is something they will need to do throughout their lives. Own your neurodivergence in the workplace. That honesty is the best way to improve understanding and unlock support. Neurotypical people genuinely don´t understand what neurodiversity is like. If you need something to change e.g. a clear written follow up after each meeting, you will need to explain the positive difference this will make to your work. Don´t suffer in silence. Get coaching to learn how to work through issues and become stronger in the workplace. Knowing how to calm yourself is an invaluable skill. BEST MOMENTS "Acceptance has been key, it´s changed my whole outlook on life, the way I interact with people, the way I have relationships with friends and with partners, has been down to my acceptance of my condition." "Let nobody dull your shine. Shine bright and own it." “If we feel valued and supported, we naturally are going to be happier and want to kind of do our best as well.” "Slow down to go faster." ABOUT THE GUEST https://www.linkedin.com/in/kirstyheap/ https://www.facebook.com/TheDyslexicCoach/ Instagram - @kirstyheapcoaching TikTok - @mindsetelevatorKirsty https://kirstyheap.com/ RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

How do you respond when your child’s behaviour feels like pure chaos—defiance, aggression, shutdowns—and nothing you try seems to work? In this solo episode, Cliff unpacks a powerful reframe of that situation explaining why what you are seeing is not likely to be down to disobedience or bad parenting. Cliff shares practical ways to reduce flashpoints, calm things down and teach your children to improve their ability to regulate their emotions. If you've ever felt disconnected from your neurodivergent child, like everything always turns to chaos and it feels so hard to connect with them, this conversation is for you. EPISODE REVEALS Parents set the tone in the home. If they are calm, it becomes far easier for their children to remain calm and co-operative too. Be patient, wait for your child to calm down rather than trying to discuss issues immediately. This gives their nervous system time to re-regulate which makes it easier for them to listen, understand and be more receptive. Be mindful of how sensitive your child is. Use language that reassures them, this avoids triggering anxiety or defensiveness. Create space for conversation, e.g. device free dinner times when everyone can talk. Learn to understand your child´s nervous system - the load, the capacity, and how to recognise the signs of distress. This makes it easier for you to stop situations from spiralling out of control. BEST MOMENTS "Sometimes what looks like disobedience isn't disobedience, it's dysregulation." "You can't control your child, but what you can control your own emotions. When you become that resonance of calm and peace that eventually seeps in and helps with your connection with your child." "All these connections with your child can be fixed. But it doesn't start with the child. It starts with us." "Give them options. So, it's not a command." EPISODE RESOURCES ADHD and Autism Pre - Assessment Mini Course Pt 1 of 3 with Connor Johnson - https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/adhd-and-autism-pre-assessment-mini-course-pt-1-of/id1810681675?i=1000725797148 – then listen to the next two episodes to complete this short course. RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down”- https://amzn.eu/d/00b6M7LQ CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today's episode is about stress, anxiety, the inner critic, and why regulation always starts with us as the adults. I'm delighted to be joined by the founder of Love. Heal.Believe. - Dolly Oksman, a special education teacher with more than a decade of experience supporting children with autism, and someone who is deeply passionate about self-regulation, self-care and helping caregivers stay calm in the middle of chaos. Together, we talk about classroom meltdowns, anticipating triggers, why mistakes are lessons, and how slowing down and working on ourselves can completely transform the way we support our children. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, hard on yourself, or unsure how to stay calm when your child is dysregulated, this conversation is for you. Let's dive in. EPISODE REVEALS Regulation always starts with the adult; our nervous system sets the tone for our children. You can teach calmness and structure life to enhance the ability of you and your child to return quickly to a state of calmness and stay there for longer. The use of structure, visual schedules, routines, breathing, and other relaxation techniques helps children feel safer and become less reactive. Anticipating triggers (noise, crowds, transitions) and planning ahead with headsets, fidgets and social stories reduces meltdowns. Self‑care is non‑negotiable; even 5–10 minutes a day for you protects your capacity to care for your child. Every mistake is feedback. Instead of attacking yourself, ask what you can do differently next time. BEST MOMENTS "Regulation starts with us. Stress and anxiety aren't the enemy, they're messengers, and if we're constantly overwhelmed or running on empty, it becomes very difficult to model calm for our children." "Every day is a learning process … we should not be hard on ourselves." ABOUT THE GUEST https://www.amazon.co.uk/Youve-Got-This-Navigating-Confidence/dp/B0FPBLYLD6 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-Your-Inspirational-Quotes-Ponder/dp/B0CVXCHMHH https://www.lovehealbelieve.com email: dollyoxman@lovehealbelieve.com https://www.youtube.com/@dollytamposoksman CLIFF´S SERVICES AND BOOKS Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Cliff´s books on Amazon : https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Mr-Cliff-Kilmister/author/B0DN3XV3WP RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today, Cliff is joined by Helen Foster who shares her experiences, insights, and hard-earned lessons from navigating EHCP process with her young son. They talk honestly about recognising early signs, gathering evidence, managing overwhelm, using technology to help and what it's really like advocating for a non-verbal child within a system that can often feel confusing and stacked against families. This is a grounded, real-world conversation, not from theory, but from lived experience. And it's relevant for families and adults who want to make sense of their own neuro divergent experiences. EPISODE REVEALS Recognising and keeping a record of any stimming or behaviour that supports a diagnosis will help you later. Especially during the EHCP process. Videos, a well-kept behaviour log, medical reports, assessments, and other paperwork will all support a proper assessment and diagnosis. Really look after yourself. If you don´t you can´t be there to help your child. The earlier you start and get help the better it is for your child. Local authorities worry more about money and resources than what is best for an individual child. For them, good enough is an OK option. To counter this underlying attitude, you will need to continuously advocate for your child. BEST MOMENTS “Take care of yourself, because if you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your little one.” “No matter how insignificant you might think it is, note it down. Keep as much evidence as you can possibly collect to either get a formal diagnosis or to initiate an EHCP.” "I'm not just settling for good enough, which is what the local authority are happy to do." EPISODE RESOURCES Instead of piecing together advice from forums and PDFs to get through the EHCP process, use the SEND help App. It provides simple explanations for each step, hands on tips and a way to store and track the documentation you need https://send-help.app/ PREVIOUS RELEVANT EPISODES Dr. Mohita episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/helping-the-brain-through-connecting-instead/id1810681675?i=1000735304072 Lara Barnes episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/nutrition-movement-and-sensory-tools-for/id1810681675?i=1000738445182 CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body‑doubling and step‑by‑step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

This episode is going to be a little different because I co**ed up. I forgot to press record at the start and instead of cutting it out, we've kept it in, because that moment is exactly what today's conversation is about. It's such a pleasure for me to welcome Kathryn Lovewell from kind mind Academy, and we're talking about anxiety, the inner critic and self-compassion. Whether you are an adult or a child, it´s important to think about how we speak to ourselves when things go wrong. So, what you're about to hear isn't polished, it's real, and it perfectly demonstrates what Kathryn teaches. EPISODE REVEALS Booster and Crusher give families a shared language for inner voices: Booster is the warm, encouraging voice that builds confidence; Crusher is the harsh critic that fuels shame and shutdown. You can turn Booster up and turn Crusher down. Parents’ own self-talk and reactions model either Booster or Crusher for their kids, making family-wide self-compassion language a powerful way to build resilience together. Kathryn’s three-step “Booster Break” - name the struggle, remember common humanity, respond with kindness - is a fast, practical tool for calming the nervous system in tough moments. BEST MOMENTS "If we listen to Crusher long enough, which is my invention of my inner critic, it can lead to depression, anxiety and really dark places." "We shouldn't need to justify who we are and how we show up as humans. What we do need to do is make sure that when we go to bed, we like the person in the mirror." ABOUT THE GUESTS Kathryn Lovewell is the founder of Kind Mind Academy, creator of The Booster Way®, and a Senior Certified Mindful Self-Compassion teacher. She specialises in helping children, parents, and educators tame the inner critic and grow self-compassion, through her books The Little Book of Self-Compassion and The Voices in My Head! and her family-focused Booster tools. A former teacher who has worked across schools, prisons, and community settings in the UK, USA, and Australia, Kathryn now offers compassion resilience coaching, runs programmes for families and women, and speaks internationally on emotional wellbeing. www.KindMindAcademy.com www.TheBoosterWay.com TheBoosterWayCommunity.com Curious to know how kind you are to yourself? Take a quick Self Kindness Quiz online and discover for yourself - www.SelfKindnessQuiz.com Connect with Kathryn: linkedin.com/in/kathrynlovewell www.YouTube.com/KindMindAcademy https://www.instagram.com/KathrynLovewell https://www.instagram.com/KindMindAcademy https://www.instagram.com/TheBoosterWay “The voices in my head” book - https://amzn.eu/d/g6laOjP Eva’s channel - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-sb6ecqBJk4 https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

In this special episode, Cliff shares highlights from a powerful conversation his daughter Eva and I had on Helping Teachers Thrive, a brilliant podcast hosted by teacher Tem. They discuss how Eva’s notebook helps her regulate and stay engaged, explore sensory overwhelm, mind breaks, fidget toys, and the small classroom changes that can completely transform a child’s experience. Whether you’re a teacher or a parent, you’ll hear honest insights and practical ideas for supporting neurodivergent children so they can truly thrive in school and at home. EPISODE REVEALS Eva’s notebook isn’t a distraction, it’s a regulation tool that helps her manage emotions and stay present, even though it doesn’t look like “traditional” listening. When schools respond to behaviour with curiosity instead of punishment, children feel safer, more motivated, and more able to learn. A reward-focused, strengths-based system gives children a reason to engage, instead of making them afraid of getting things “wrong.” When a child feels truly understood at school, their confidence grows and spills over into other areas of life including clubs, hobbies, and friendships. What can look like doing nothing at parties or in groups is often a child carefully protecting themselves from sensory and social overwhelm. Short, supported breaks and quiet spaces are essential tools that help neurodivergent children stay regulated enough to learn. Fidget toys, doodling, and notebooks aren’t just “extras;” they’re simple regulation tools that keep hands busy so brains can stay focused. Shutdowns as signs of overwhelm, not bad behaviour. BEST MOMENTS "In my old school, the teachers didn't really recognise us that they just saw as she's not listening so but in my new school, they see as she is listening, just in her own way." "Allow the student time to process." "The problem with the cards, from a teacher's perspective, is I don't want to single that child out." “Let them fidget with (the toy) underneath the table, so it doesn't distract other kids. It just helps them, like, do something with the hands.” “I see kids drawing on their hands all the time. I didn't actually think that is helping them regulate.” EPISODE RESOURCES You can listen to the full episode here - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/supporting-neurodiverse-children-autism-adhd-insights/id1681843058?i=1000738444038 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Today, Cliff is joined once again by his daughter Eva and Yo Jeff a dating coach and published author of The Hip Hop Dating Guide that is available on Amazon. Check the description for the link. Last time Jeff was here, he talked to Eva about confidence, friendships and building skills. Today, they're catching up on how she got on with those challenges, the progress she's made. They also discuss how to handle rejection, harsh self-talk, and navigate those messy, early steps into teenage connection. EPISODE REVEALS Having a calm, trusted adult to talk to about confidence, friendships and dating can make things feel more manageable. Showing up and trying, even if you freeze or can’t follow through, is still progress. Courage is built in layers, not in one perfect moment. When someone is warm online but avoids spending time with you in real life, it usually reflects their fears and limits not anything you’ve done wrong. Rejection is painful, but each “no” is also practice. Practice at communicating, understanding yourself better, and choosing healthier connections. When your confidence is knocked consciously replenishing your reserves helps e.g. art, gaming, or creative projects. Friendships and dating are long games. You get good at them by repetition, not perfection. Trying again is how confidence and real connection are built. You might not end up dating every person you like, but you might meet someone wonderful through their friends. It’s worth keeping friendships, and practicing your social skills, even when romance doesn’t work out. BEST MOMENTS "It's really important to celebrate these little wins, because actually, they start mounting up into big wins." "You're going to work through that pain, and then once you get to the other side of that, reignite that friendship." "If you become really good at something, it will impact your self-confidence on everything." EPISODE RESOURCES https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/navigating-friendships-and-dating-on-the-spectrum/id1810681675?i=1000733947794 ABOUT THE GUESTS JEFF CARROLL For one-on-one dating advice and coaching, contact Jeff via - coachyojeff@gmail.com https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_22asKR-3-Y https://www.facebook.com/CoachYoJeff The Hip Hop Dating Guide - https://a.co/d/gwDdKTH EVA KILMISTER Eva´s YT channel Inspire With Us - https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT Eva Kilmister - Art Sketch Book - Blank Pages Sketch Pad - https://amzn.eu/d/i8v4VkA RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Eva is back. Today, we're talking about executive function, or, as we like to call it, your brain's superhero - it´s CEO. We discuss why it sometimes goes on strike and what you can do to quickly kickstart it. The conversation also dives deep into digital IDs, freedom of speech, and Eva provides some teenage honesty, including what it's like to create and share online. EPISODE REVEALS Executive function is like the brain’s CEO; it organises thoughts and actions. Your executive function can “go on strike,” making focus and organisation especially tough for people with ADHD. When executive function falters, being motivated through rewards and engaging in activities that release dopamine can re-engage attention and effort, especially for neurodiverse children. Exercise and making things fun are two examples. The introduction of digital IDs raises concerns about privacy, freedom of speech, and social control. Creating content for YouTube allows for self-expression and community, but navigating age-appropriate topics and online feedback presents challenges. It is vital parents are there to provide support. Maintaining an online presence as a teenager does put pressure on them, but finding platforms and content types that suit their interests and values helps them to learn to balance digital engagement with maintaining personal boundaries. BEST MOMENTS "Your CEO, your (brain´s executive function), also thrives off of dopamine in ways that you love. For example, one of your favourite things - laughing." “For instance, I really don’t like doing the vibrating plate, but if you give me a reward for it, then I would want to do it more to get that reward.” “The advent of digital IDs raises concerns about privacy, freedom of speech, and social control, highlighting the importance of critical awareness." Eva´s InspireWithUS contacts https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT https://www.tiktok.com/@iwuyt_87 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Cliff speaks with Lara Barnes, the founder of Brain Development UK. Lara helps children with autism, ADHD and learning differences by rebuilding the foundation of the brain through sensory work and primitive reflex integration. She shares some simple tests you can do at home and the details of exercises and tools you can buy and use yourself to significantly help your child. If your child struggles with balance, communication, is non-verbal, has challenges with coordination, incontinence, reading or focus, this conversation is especially important for you. EPISODE REVEALS · Early brain development can be positively influenced by rebuilding foundational sensory and reflex pathways, especially for neurodiverse children. · Achieving motor milestones e.g. rolling, crawling, and tummy time are critical for long-term development. Their absence, delay, or acceleration can be a warning sign. · Stimulating the spinal gallant reflex can help to address incontinence. · Foundational reflexes and sensory integration directly affect vision and higher learning functions; simple at-home assessments can identify areas for support. · Sensory input, in particular through touch and vibration can improve body awareness and brain development. · If you can´t feel your tongue fully, speech is difficult. Lara recommends a simple tool to help stimulate the mouth. · Gradual and consistent sensory work can greatly reduce hypersensitivity. · Dietary change is a highly effective starting point. There is a lot of support available to help with this. · Small, consistent changes really do make a huge difference. BEST MOMENTS “I help to reset the foundation of the brain … and we utilize the sensory system to do that.” “If a child was contained a lot e.g. in a car seat … sometimes those reflexes just don't integrate.” “I'd identify what side of the brain is weaker, and then we would do exercises for that too, and use sensory stimulus on that area and it doesn't take long.” “There's so much parents can do themself.” “You can actually buy a cheap power plate…for them to play on or sit on.” “If you feel your body, you can relate to other people.” “Start with diet." EPISODE RESOURCES https://www.braindevelopment.co.uk lara@braindevelopment.co.uk Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-brain-development-podcast/id1825344229 Socials @braindevelopmentUK Stimulating toothbrush - https://bristlscience.com – use the discount code shared in the episode to get 10% off. Dairy free chocolate - https://www.ombar.com/oatmlk and https://montybojangles.com/products/cocoa-nib-nights RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

For today’s Parenting ADHD and Autism episode, Cliff sits down to chat with Alison Kerr, a mum who discovered her own neurodivergence through her daughter’s autism and ADHD diagnosis. She opens up about the hormonal and neurodivergent roller coaster that has shaped her life and the healing path that helped her find balance again. In particular, she talks about a condition that is far more prevalent in the neurodivergent community than it is in the neurotypical community - Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). As you listen, please let Cliff know, in the comments, if any of this feels familiar and share your experience. EPISODE REVEALS · Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is more common amongst neurodivergent women. · If you notice your mood or behaviour changing, especially irritability, try tracking your menstrual cycle to see if there is a connection. · PMDD can cause suicidal thoughts that follow a woman´s menstrual cycle. · Parents of girls with ADHD need to keep an eye out for PMDD. · Look out for signs that you are self-medicating to deal with extreme mood swings. Alison was like Jekyll and Hyde depending on where she was in her cycle. · Alison found that traditional hormone-based solutions did not help here PMDD. In fact, it made things worse. She only got relief through homeopathy. BEST MOMENTS "I was a slave to my hormones, exacerbating the difficulties that already had because of the neurodivergence that I was unaware of." "It was just like, chalk and cheese, Jekyll and Hyde." "The more knowledge you have, the more you can support yourself through it, when support seems to be so lacking." "People who are neurodivergent, they're good leaders a lot of the time and we can make positive change." EPISODE RESOURCES SensItive The Untold Story - https://sensitivethemovie.com https://elizabethperu.com https://thetelepathytapes.com RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!