School of Rock Bottom

If you think you enjoy drinking too much to ever stop, this episode will challenge you. Today I'm joined by Hattie Underwood from Sober Happy Free to talk addiction, sobriety, cocaine use, ADHD, anxiety, and what really happens when drinking stops working. From secretly drinking on Christmas morning with a newborn baby to nearly five years sober, this is a raw, honest look at alcohol addiction recovery and how change actually happens.Hattie shares the moment everything shifted - a quiet realisation there was nowhere left to hide. What follows is a story many people will recognise but rarely say out loud. The routines, the denial, the belief that things are still “under control” while everything underneath says otherwise. This episode breaks down the role of Dry January, relapse, and why temporary sobriety often isn’t enough without a deeper shift. There’s a clear distinction here between stopping and actually letting go — and why that difference matters if you’re stuck in the cycle.We also go deeper into the psychology behind addiction. ADHD, dopamine, anxiety, eating disorders — the patterns that existed long before alcohol, and why substances can feel like the solution before they become the problem.Recovery isn’t presented as perfect or instant. It’s practical. Community, 12-step fellowship, structure, honesty — and learning how to live without constantly needing to escape your own mind.If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, or even just curious whether things could feel different, this conversation gives you something real to work with. More about Hattie -Hattie is the face behind Sober Happy Free - a fast growing social media platform on Instagram and TikTok that’s built a community of more than 38,000 people in just 18 months.Using her own experience of addiction, Hattie shares honestly about what helped her get sober - and, just as importantly, what’s helped her stay sober - with the aim of helping others who might be struggling.She’s a passionate advocate for removing the stigma around addiction and believes real change is possible and is 5 years sober. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro3:00 A rock bottom moment6:15 Dry January turns into 4 months10:00 Returning to drinking and cocaine12:00 The benefits of Dry January14:30 Did Hattie really relapse?17:00 OCD before addiction18:30 Bulimia20:20 Undiagnosed ADHD22:30 Alcohol and messaging boys24:00 Using sex for self esteem25:45 Cocaine addiction34:45 Drug addiction escalates38:15 Addiction stronger than love for children?44:15 Rock bottoms, orgasms and a cure for addiction?51:00 How Hattie stays sober56:00 Suggestions for those stubborn to changeFollow HattieInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberhappyfreeFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - Spotify - Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #SobrietyJourney #AlcoholFree

If you think you’re in control of your drinking, listen to this. Today I sit down with Leanne Bayliss, who went from cocaine and alcohol addiction to raising a disabled child alone while rebuilding her life sober. This is not a journey about one period of struggle. It’s about what happens when you hit bottom repeatedly, and the moment you realise it’s live or die. Leanne speaks about the reality of addiction, from early coping mechanisms like bulimia to a life dominated by alcohol, cocaine and dependency on anything that could either elevate or sedate her mind. Diagnosed later in life with ADHD, she explains how substances became both escape and survival, creating a cycle that felt impossible to break. What emerges is not a neat narrative, but a deeply human one—messy, confronting and recognisable.At the centre of this episode is a moment that changes everything. An attempt on her life that becomes the turning point. Not because everything suddenly gets better, but because it forces a decision. Stay or go. Live or die. From that point, recovery begins...not as a single choice, but as a daily commitment.The conversation moves into territory many avoid. Motherhood in addiction. Raising a child through over 100 medical procedures while battling alcohol dependence. The guilt, the denial, the rationalisation, and the quiet moments no one sees. Leanne doesn’t sanitise any of it. She articulates something many people feel but rarely admit: the internal conflict between love for your child and the pull of addiction.There’s also a clear, grounded discussion about sobriety itself. Labels like “alcoholic”, the role of trauma, and the uncomfortable truth that there is no single path to recovery. Both Oliver and Leanne challenge rigid thinking in the recovery space, making it clear that what matters is not how you get sober, but that you do.They explore the neurological side too. ADHD, dopamine regulation, and why substances like alcohol and cocaine can feel like solutions rather than problems—until they aren’t. It’s a nuanced look at addiction that goes beyond willpower and into wiring, environment and lived experience.They talk about risk. The idea that you might have another drink in you, but not another recovery. This isn’t a journey wrapped in clichés or easy answers. It’s about responsibility, awareness, and doing the work - especially when no one is watching. Leanne is the author of the upcoming books From Cocaine to Rice Cakes and Single Mom Syndrome, where she shares unfiltered truths about sobriety, motherhood, and choosing yourself. Leanne is 5 years clean and sober. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Sponsor -www.gavinsisters.co.uk promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Support the podcast -https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro2:55 A rock bottom moment4:25 Navigating multiple challenges6:25 Addiction would have killed me 8:40 Using everything to feel better12:40 Why alcohol stopped bulimia15:15 Why Leanne wanted to use drugs and alcohol 16:45 Gaining insight along the bumpy road to recovery18:55 Wanting to destroy rather than fix20:15 Alcoholic at 16?23:55 Use recovery labels to empower you!26:40 Are you really powerless?28:25 Be careful where you get your advice30:55 Cocaine, alcohol & ADHD35:10 Being a sober mum is better39:40 We love taking hostages41:10 Being triggered by morning drinking43:10 Can I control my drinking now?45:30 Helping those who are depressed50:40 How Leanne got clean and sober53:55 Why recovery is different for everyone57:55 Why helping others helps you59:55 From cocaine to rice cakesFollow Leanne Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberlittlemotherredFollow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermasonWATCH on YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/32r6ppecApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery#AlcoholRecovery#RecoveryPodcast

What if addiction isn’t really about drugs - but about the feeling that you never truly belonged anywhere? Today, I sit down with Kyle Hall, whose story moves from growing up in an alcoholic home to crystal meth addiction, psychosis, and eight years of relapse before finally finding a way out.Kyle describes being a kid who didn’t fit in anywhere—not with the popular crowd, not even with the “weird kids.” That quiet disconnection, and the inability to express who he really was, became the foundation for everything that followed.What starts as food, pornography, and alcohol slowly escalates into something far darker, as he searches for identity, confidence, and escape in all the wrong places.We break down the progression most people never see. How drinking turns into drugs. How curiosity becomes dependency. And how, step by step, he ends up in a world of chemsex, isolation, and eventually injecting crystal meth—not as one reckless decision, but as a series of small ones that compound over time.From there, things unravel fast. Days without sleep. Paranoia. Hallucinations. A complete break from reality where he believes people are coming to kill him. And even then, the instinct is still the same—to drink, to use, to escape.But even at rock bottom, there are moments that cut through.One of them happens in an Uber, when a driver says something he never forgets: “You never finish alcohol. Alcohol finishes you.”Kyle speaks openly about eight years of trying to get sober and failing, and what finally changed when it stuck. Not a new method. Not a new environment. But a moment of complete surrender—and a decision to actually live the recovery he’d been around for years.We also explore the shift into spirituality. From rejecting faith completely to finding Jesus that gave him forgiveness, direction, and a way to rebuild.By the end, this isn’t a clean redemption story. It’s something more honest. A life rebuilt from chaos—now channelled into The Spiritual Pharmacy & Late Night Sober Cafe, sober community spaces designed to give people what he never had: connection, purpose, and somewhere to belong.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:00 A rock bottom moment that lasted months 6:45 A drug induced psychosis 16:45 Using food and cigarettes before drugs 20:20 Porn obsession 22:30 Falling in love with alcohol 24:45 Struggling with sexuality 27:00 From alcohol to injecting crystal meth 32:20 Breaking the relapse cycle 36:45 Doing The 12 Steps 39:15 Finding a spiritual solution?42:15 Kyle's sober events & spaces Follow Kyle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kylehallartisthttps://www.instagram.com/spiritualpharmaBuy tickets https://www.tickettailor.com/events/theenergyxchangecicFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://youtu.be/3XD8otGW9pMSpotify - https://tinyurl.com/yv6f57w8Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery#RockBottom#SobrietyJourney

The rock bottom myth can be dangerous because it sells the idea that everyone has to to wait for one dramatic, Hollywood moment. But what if it’s actually a slow burn… gradually losing yourself without even realising? Today I sit down with Emily Horwood to look at the reality of alcohol addiction, sobriety, relapse, and recovery. From blackouts as a parent, mixing alcohol and coke, to building a thriving sober community, this is a conversation about what it really takes to change your life. Emily is a former teacher, single mum, and psychology student who is now three years sober and helping others find connection beyond alcohol. Emily opens up about the slow burn of addiction, describing her rock bottom not as one explosive moment but as years spent “crawling along the bottom,” culminating in a terrifying blackout where she couldn’t remember putting her children to bed. It’s a stark reminder that suffering doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside.We explore the dangerous myths around what an “alcoholic” looks like, and why so many people delay getting help because their lives appear functional. Emily shares how societal drinking culture, particularly in her twenties, normalised behaviours that would later become deeply destructive, and how an abusive relationship compounded her loss of identity and self-worth.The conversation moves into recovery, beginning with one message that changed everything. Emily reflects on reaching out for help, attending her first meeting, and why desperation became the turning point. From 12-step programmes to online communities, sober curiosity, and building her own support networks, this episode highlights that there is no single path to recovery, only the one that works for you.They also speak candidly about relapse, the “yet” concept, and how quickly addiction can take hold again. Emily’s description of returning to drinking after 18 months sober is a sobering insight into the reality of addiction, and why ongoing connection and self-awareness are essential.Beyond sobriety, this episode is about growth. Emily shares how recovery has reshaped her identity, challenging long-held beliefs about who she was and uncovering a deeper sense of self. They discuss post-traumatic growth, the power of connection, and why building a meaningful life is about more than just removing alcohol.Emily also talks about creating Sober Walkers, a growing community built on connection and accountability, and her new project, The Connection Couch, which brings people together for real, honest conversations about recovery and growth in an increasingly disconnected world.If you’ve ever thought your drinking “isn’t bad enough,” this episode is a reminder that you don’t need to wait for things to fall apart. Change is possible, and it starts with being curious enough to ask the question.Support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e https://womensaid.org.ukhttps://refuge.org.ukThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:15 A rock bottom moment 5:15 My rock bottom wasn't dramatic 9:20 Drink, coke, fun and chaos 12:20 An abusive relationship drives addiction 15:15 What are the 'YETS' in recovery?19:30 What Emily tried first to get sober 22:20 What lies did addiction tell you?25:45 Only functioning on the outside27:45 How many meetings should you try?30:40 AA IS NOT THE ONLY WAY!35:15 Finding a sponsor and being of service 37:30 I couldn't accept I am alcoholic & relapse41:40 Quick fire questions!49:45 Sober Walkers & The Connection Couch54:30 Is my drinking bad enough yet!?Follow Emily Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stepping_on_the_sober_trainhttps://www.instagram.com/theconnectioncouchFollow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermasonWatch or listen here -YouTube - https://youtu.be/QGfL-OZDV5QApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #Sober

What role does spirituality play in recovery, and is it possible to stay sober for decades without it? Today, I sit down with Nigel to explore alcoholism, ego, fear, and the deeper search for meaning that often lies beneath addiction.At 38, Nigel had everything most people would call success - a family, a good job, a comfortable life. But inside, he was empty. Alcohol had been part of his life since he was twelve, and by his late thirties, it had taken away everything it once gave him.What followed was a complete shift in how he saw himself, addiction, and the world around him. He came to believe that the voice in his head - his ego - was at the root of his drinking, and that freedom came from learning to live beyond it.Nigel has been sober for over 30 years, but his recovery was never just about stopping drinking. For him, it became a profound shift in how he experiences life, identity, and connection. He describes alcoholism as an extreme form of ego, rooted in separation, self-hatred, and what he calls “suicide by instalments.” Looking back, Nigel recognises that much of his drinking arose from an early sense that life had no intrinsic meaning, a feeling he began noticing even as a child.In this conversation, Nigel takes us beyond conventional recovery talk. He explains how ego and alcoholism are intertwined, why active drinking is a slow form of self-destruction, and how the mind can construct bleak narratives to justify addictive behaviour. He explores the difference between illusion and reality, revealing why joy is always present even beneath fear. Viewing recovery through a spiritual lens, Nigel shows how seeing ourselves as connected to God - or a higher source - can reshape how we live, how we relate to others, and how we understand ourselves. He introduces a non-dual perspective, highlighting our inherent divinity, equality, and connection to all, and he challenges common fears around death, suggesting that embracing the eternal present can bring lasting peace.Whether or not you share his spiritual perspective, this episode offers a profound and thought-provoking look at what it takes to recover, find meaning, and stay sober long-term. It’s an episode that will make you rethink fear, joy, and the true nature of connection.Today you will learn of what happens when you stop chasing happiness out there… and start looking for it within. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 2:50 A rock bottom moment 5:10 What was the emptiness inside?6:15 Why did Nigel start drinking at age 12?8:30 Alcoholic at 15?9:30 Using the label as a reason to drink more 10:30 High Functioning alcoholism?14:20 Why did Nigel stop drinking?15:00 Chronic/terminal uniqueness 16:40 How Nigel got sober 21:45 Inverted narcissism?22:30 Is Nigel cured?23:45 Removing EGO and become ONE 30:10 A "God shaped" hole?34:15 Does Nigel need a spiritual solution?37:30 A Course In Miracles 39:00 EGO VS ALCOHOLISM41:00 Why fear isn't real!43:00 Joy is always available 44:45 Why Nigel isn't scared of death47:30 Why Nigel needs God to be sober Follow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Watch or listen here -YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/mrxhpkr3Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/2p8hhtfApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #Sober

Harrison Ward, also known as Fell Foodie, drank more than 20 pints a day, smoked like a chimney, battled clinical depression in silence and reached a moment where he believed there were only two ways out. Today I sit down with the man behind the outdoor cooking phenomenon to unpack addiction, withdrawal, mental health and the decision that saved his life. Harrison shares the reality behind addiction, drinking culture and the hidden loneliness of high-masking depression. From working in pubs while drinking heavily to climbing a mountains during withdrawal, this is a raw exploration of what happens when escape stops working and honesty begins.Together they explore why alcohol can feel like medicine before it becomes a prison, how depression can quietly shape behaviour from teenage years onwards, and why many people suffer in silence long before anyone notices. Harrison speaks openly about peer pressure, shame, identity and the fear of speaking honestly about mental health, especially growing up in environments where vulnerability felt impossible.Harrison explains how sobriety allowed him to rediscover purpose through food, nature and creativity, cooking restaurant-quality meals on remote mountainsides and sharing hope with thousands online. Oliver and Harrison also discuss cravings, withdrawal, rebuilding self-worth, going public about sobriety and the practical options available for anyone struggling with alcohol or depression today. If you or someone you love is struggling, this conversation offers honesty without judgement and hope without clichés.Now, over 9 years sober, Harrison has fused his love of food with the healing power of the outdoors. He’s hiking the fells of Cumbria and cooking restaurant quality meals on a simple camp stove in the mountains, and sharing his story to show others that recovery is possible.He’s been featured on the BBC with Mary Berry, Channel 5’s ‘Winter on the Farm’, Countryfile Magazine, Men’s Fitness, and more. He’s a bestselling author, a keynote speaker, and a brand ambassador. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! T-Shirt from The Recovery Cartel -www.therecoverycartel.co.ukhttps://www.instagram.com/therecoverycartelPodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:30 A rock bottom moment 5:20 Using alcohol to escape 7:30 Depression as a teenager 10:30 Mental health was not talked about before 11:45 Drinking 20 pints a day!16:40 Was Harrison a high functioning alcoholic?19:00 Is high functioning addiction worse?22:50 The moment I decided to stop drinking 28:30 Moderation and doing a geographical 36:00 Withdrawal and depression 40:00 Climbing a mountain in withdrawal!45:20 From hurting to healing 47:40 Dealing with cravings & peer pressure 51:45 Finding passion for cooking 54:00 Going public about sobriety 56:45 Options for help to go sober and fighting depression Follow HarrisonWebsite - https://www.fellfoodie.co.ukInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/fellfoodie Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/fellfoodie/YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/FellFoodieTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@fellfoodieTwitter - https://twitter.com/FellFoodieFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Watch/Listen -YouTube - https://youtu.be/7UW29Hp7rBYSpotify - https://tinyurl.com/djmdvpjrApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #MentalHealth

When I first saw Johnny Lawrence’s documentary The Slavery of Addiction, I knew I had to speak with him. Johnny grew up in fear - beaten by his father, bullied for his skin colour and convinced he’d never be enough. Alcohol seemed to be the perfect medicine. Together we explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of trauma and addiction: acceptance. Johnny shares a deeply personal account of confronting his abusive father as an adult, the moment he realised the abuse was not his to carry, and why walking away became an act of self-preservation rather than bitterness. What follows is an honest conversation about emotional responsibility, identity and the cost of waiting for people to change when they are incapable of doing so.Johnny explains why trying to “process the past” often keeps people trapped, and why accepting emotions, rather than events, became the turning point in his recovery. He challenges common narratives around forgiveness, making a clear distinction between accepting how something made you feel and excusing what was done to you. This episode explores how anger, guilt, and helplessness often replace one another, and how alcohol can become a way to survive emotions that feel unbearable at the time.The conversation also reframes addiction in a way many people have never heard before. Johnny speaks openly about being grateful to alcohol, not as something to glorify, but as an honest acknowledgement that it once served a purpose. Together, we discuss why substances are often solutions before they become problems, why sobriety is about freedom rather than restriction, and how focusing on what you want instead of what you’re avoiding can change everything.This episode is essential listening for anyone struggling with trauma, addiction, or the pressure to forgive before they are ready. It offers a grounded, compassionate perspective on recovery, accountability, and what it really means to let go of what was never yours to begin with.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! T-Shirt from The Recovery Cartel -www.therecoverycartel.co.ukhttps://www.instagram.com/therecoverycartelPodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:20 A rock bottom moment 10:20 Escaping violence as a child 13:35 The brain learns it needs alcohol to survive 15:20 Dyslexia & being mixed race shapes Johnny's experience 20:20 Trying alcohol for the first time 25:20 Alcohol becomes a replacement for life 28:35 Making peace with the abuse 33:05 Processing the emotional imprints & acceptance 34:50 Stop focusing on not drinking alcohol!36:20 What about forgiveness?42:05 Why I'm grateful to alcohol 46:0l20 Alcohol becomes the solution 47:50 People will tell you you don't have a problem!49:35 How did Johnny get sober?52:05 Dealing with alcohol cravings 57:05 The sober journey Follow Johnny The Slavery of Addiction - https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?feature=shared Website - https://www.johnnylawrence.co.ukInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/theselfdevelopmentcoachFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - Spotify - Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #Sobriety#Recovery#MentalHealth

He technically died twice. He survived Borstal, homelessness, decades of speed and cocaine, five heart attacks, and 29 days in a coma after a triple heart bypass went wrong. His life was saved by Dr Hasnat Khan, who was close to Princess Diana, and he came back sober, creative, and unstoppable. This is Garry Johnson, the punk poet, street journalist, and man who discovered the Stone Roses, telling his story like no one else can. From the chaos of Fleet Street tabloids to the highs of punk rock and the life-threatening lows of addiction, Garry shares the moments that nearly ended him—and how he survived them all.We explore the drug-fuelled confidence that once drove his creativity, the trauma that shaped his choices, and the health crises that should have stopped him. Garry talks honestly about losing his daughter, why caffeine now acts as a trigger, and the hard truth about why addiction rarely ends when the body starts screaming for change.Since quitting, Garry has transformed his life: seven books published, albums released, screenplays written, and stage performances performed sober. He reflects on creativity without drugs, lessons learnedand what he would tell his grandchildren about drugs. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 2:30 A rock bottom moment 5:00 Speed helps him become a writer6:45 Abuse in children's home & Borstal 7:45 Using speed & creativity to deal with anger12:00 Coke and speed gave me confidence 13:30 Why speed was my favourite 16:00 Dependancy starts 21:15 Cocaine calmed me down and helped me survive?22:45 Garry has his first heart attack 24:30 Paranoia & anxiety 28:15 Nearly dying was the wake up call30:30 Now I don't even drink coffee!32:00 I kept using in between heart attacks 34:30 Getting clean and career takes off 36:00 Do drugs make you more creative?39:00 Garry discovered The Stone Roses?41:00 A true story about Ozzy Osbourne!42:30 Now a story about Robbie Williams!45:15 Would Garry change the past if he could?Follow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bkcdz6b6Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/yevxvc36Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #CocaineAddiction #SchoolOfRockBottom

Have you ever walked past someone sleeping rough, visibly unwell, clearly addicted to drugs, and written them off without a second thought? Today, I'm joined by Charlotte Seaman to explore one of most confronting addiction stories you will hear. From heroin and crack addiction to prison, psychosis, sex work, assault and homelessness, Charlotte’s journey shows the brutal reality of severe drug addiction and the possibility of recovery when all hope feels lost. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, trauma, or relapse, this conversation may be the one that unlocks a door. Charlotte was born into a loving home, yet by the age of 11 she was already using drugs and being arrested. At 13, following a sexual assault, her life escalated rapidly into violence, incarceration, and heavy substance use. What followed was an 18-year descent through crack, heroin, injecting, snowballing, repeated prison sentences, homelessness, and eventually a full psychotic breakdown. This episode shows what it really looks like when drugs take everything.Together, Oliver and Charlotte explore the link between childhood trauma and self-medication, how addiction progresses when left untreated, and why mixing stimulants and depressants can become so compelling and so dangerous. Charlotte speaks openly about using heroin then methodone during pregnancy under medical supervision, smoking spice in prison, living on the streets, and the shame and guilt that followed her for years. This is an honest conversation about accountability, consequences, and forgiveness in recovery.Most importantly, this episode is about how Charlotte finally got clean and sober, the role recovery programmes played in saving her life, and what it means to rebuild after nearly two decades lost to addiction. Now over a year clean, Charlotte has become a recovery advocate with more than 100,000 followers online and has been recognised with a High Sheriff Award for turning her life around. Her story challenges stereotypes and offers hope to those who feel they have gone too far to ever come back.This is a difficult but deeply hopeful episode about responsibility and redemption without clichés. If you believe addiction is a moral failing, this conversation may change your mind. If you’re struggling right now, it may remind you that recovery is possible — even after everything has fallen apart. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:00 A rock bottom moment5:10 Alcohol and drugs from 117:45 Not feeling good enough 8:45 Charlotte goes off the rails 10:30 The aftermath of sexual assault 11:30 Charlotte goes to prison 12:35 Why did Charlotte commit assault and self-forgiveness?16:30 Smoking spice in prison18:00 Escalation to snowballs 20:00 Living on the streets 22:00 Using methadone during pregnancy 25:15 Methadone & Heroin withdrawal 28:30 Unmanageable & powerless 30:30 The internal snap33:00 Addiction leaves me vulnerable 34:00 Why sharing rock bottom moments saves lives!36:15 How Charlotte found recovery 39:00 Are you in recovery if you take Methadone?41:50 The 12 steps saved my life 43:00 Recovery is more powerful than addiction 44:15 Can ANYONE addicted to drugs make it back?!46:30 Abstince from EVERYTHING?!48:15 TikTok is Step 12?49:15 Charlotte wins The Sheriff Award51:45 An emotional but hopeful end Follow Charlotte Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@charlottesrecoveringInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/charlotteseaman11Follow Oliverhttps://linktr.ee/olivermasonWatch/listen here YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/yb54peseApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

Ryan Phillips shares his recovery from cocaine addiction with over 65,000 followers on TikTok. In this conversation, he describes the moment his cocaine use finally collapsed under the weight of truth. After days awake on coke, surrounded by smashed glass and blood, Ryan was found by his sister while his young niece waited outside. Hearing that his niece had become frightened of him became the wake-up call that ended the secrecy and forced honesty to begin. We talk openly about addiction, cocaine recovery, relapse, accountability and what happens when denial finally breaks.Ryan is a recovery and wellness advocate and the founder of The Deep End, a community offering therapy, coaching, yoga, meditation and breathwork. With a background in the music industry, he speaks candidly about cocaine addiction, dry sniffing, ADHD, fantasy as escapism, and the slow, uneven reality of getting clean. He reflects on growing up using imagination as refuge, moving from weed to cocaine, and how addiction tightens its grip quietly rather than all at once.We explore the myth of the dramatic turning point, the cycle of stopping and starting, and why willpower alone never worked. Ryan explains how speaking the truth out loud became the real shift, how NA, CBT and therapy each played different roles, and why sharing publicly on TikTok helps him stay clean. We also discuss whether relapse is part of recovery, why counting days and chips can sometimes do more harm than good, and how to navigate New Year’s Eve without cocaine.This is not a story about instant change or neat endings. It is a grounded conversation about patience, responsibility and learning to live without escape. If you are questioning your relationship with drugs, wondering whether cocaine has started to control you, or trying to understand what recovery actually looks like day to day, this episode will meet you where you are.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:00 A rock bottom moment 12:00 The loop of being in and out of recovery13:45 Using fantasy as a child to escape 17:00 Moving from weed to coke 19:30 Cocaine starts to get it's claws in 21:45 Will everyone who takes coke get addicted? 25:00 ADHD & dry sniffing?26:45 Ryan's recovery journey 32:00 NA, CBT & Therapy34:15 Why TikTok helps Ryan stay clean 36:10 Sponsor37:10 Does Ryan use old videos as reminders?38:45 What do the public want from Ryan?42:15 What is The Deep End?46:00 Is relapse part of recovery?48:15 Counting days & chips arent useful?!50:00 How do you stay away from drugs on New Years Eve?52:15 New Years Eve/Day is just another day?54:00 Patience & gratitude 57:15 Recovery or recovered?58:15 What do you want written on your gravestone?Follow RyanWebsite -https://www.wearethedeepend.comTikTok -https://www.tiktok.com/@ryaninrecoveryInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/ryan_thedeependFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpdsPlease subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/yc7zr7t9Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/4j6hy2wfApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3#CocaineRecovery#AddictionRecovery#RecoveryPodcast

Today's conversation with Serena Palmer goes straight to the heart of addiction, ADHD, success and collapse, and the hidden world of high-achieving professionals who are fighting battles no one can see. If you’ve ever wondered how someone can lead global teams, excel in a corporate role, appear entirely in control, and still be unravelling behind the scenes, this episode will speak to you. We explore late ADHD diagnosis, the link between neurodiversity and alcohol misuse. Behind the titles, she was privately battling a late ADHD diagnosis, escalating drinking, and cycles of alcoholic psychosis. Today she’s 2 years sober, deeply grounded in the work of recovery, and helping individuals and organisations understand neurodiversity, addiction, and human potential in a far more honest way.We walk through the earlier years too: the roots of self-medication, the dopamine-seeking patterns that began with sugar and the early risk-taking. Serena explains how ADHD can push high performers into dangerous coping mechanisms and why adults diagnosed later in life are statistically far more vulnerable to addiction. Here’s the reality: adults with ADHD are three times more likely to develop addiction, and if they’re diagnosed later in life, up to 60% are already battling substance issues. Among high achievers, 1 in 10 hides an addiction behind their success and around 1 in 4 will battle it at some point in their lives. We also discuss the end of an eighteen-year relationship, the impact of redundancy, the pressures of corporate travel, and the ways high achievers can hide addiction in plain sight. Serena brings clarity to how these dynamics fuel dependence and why some of the most capable, driven people can find themselves on the edge without ever realising how far they’ve fallen.Before we close, Serena shares clear, practical advice for anyone trying to stay clean and sober through Christmas and offers insight for anyone who looks successful on the outside but feels like they’re collapsing internally. This is a conversation about reality, responsibility, hope and the possibility of change—delivered with truth, depth and humanity.If you’ve ever battled addiction, questioned your relationship with alcohol, lived with ADHD, or struggled to square your internal world with the life people assume you’re living, this episode will stay with you.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:00 A rock bottom moment 10:30 Would you rewrite history if you could?14:00 Why Serena needed pain to stop drinking 15:00 Enabling, toxic relationships & masking 18:30 Self medicating undiagnosed ADHD 22:00 Emotional dysregulation & RSD26:00 Nicotine, smoking and ADHD28:00 Daydreaming and fantasy 31:30 Workaholism?33:00 Rehab and coming out of denial 39:00 Getting excited about recovery 41:50 Using hyperfocus in recovery 44:30 Cocaine Anonymous 48:20 Sponsor49:20 Are you born with ADHD?50:20 How addiction and ADHD interact 53:30 Tips to stay sober at XmasFollow SerenaWebsite -https://www.serena.consultingInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/thereal_hrcoachSTRAIGHT OUTTA REHABhttps://amzn.eu/d/fmvl89UMY TWO BRAINS AND MEhttps://amzn.eu/d/6p88BoMFollow OliverIG - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFB - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpdsAlso WATCH here YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/229ndvfk#AddictionRecovery#AlcoholFree#SobrietyJourney

There are some stories that force you to rethink everything you believe about addiction. This is one of them. Terry Devine was five years old when a teacher humiliated him in front of a class — a single moment that buried him in shame so deep he carried it for decades. That shame became the soil everything else grew from: the drinking, the chaos, the emotional collapse, and eventually heroin. Not because he wanted to get high, but because heroin felt like a parent he never had. Warm. Safe. Comforting. Until it wasn’t.In this conversation, Terry reveals the parts of addiction that almost never make it into public view. The night he pushed a burning poker into his own arm. The moment heroin stopped working and withdrawal hit with a force that made death feel easier. The sickening realisation that he was no longer chasing pleasure — only running from pain. And the brutal truth that there are two kinds of rock bottom: the physical one everyone imagines, and a far more dangerous spiritual one that no one can see coming.Terry talks openly about how undiagnosed ADHD shaped everything: the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the constant sense of being wrong in his own skin. He explains why he believes ADHD is one of the most overlooked drivers of early substance use, and how it became the invisible gateway that made heroin feel inevitable.What Terry describes here is the real machinery of addiction: the obsession that silences logic, the withdrawals that feel like your insides are being torn out, the distortion of identity, and the terrifying moment when a person realises they’ve crossed a line they can’t uncross. He explains how shame becomes a worldview, how trauma rewrites the brain, and how addiction convinces you that you are beyond saving long before anyone else realises you're in trouble.And then, somehow, he rebuilt a life and you'll find out exactly how he did it. Terry met the love of his life in recovery and learn how they both stayed sober during tragedy, why the 12 steps having only small success rate is false, why and how cross addiction happens, how heroin lead him to alcohol and what it really means to be clean and sober. More on Terry -Today, he’s a lecturer in forensic science at the University of the West of England, a clinical addiction hypnotherapist, a recovery coach, and the founder of Devine Recovery Solutions. He’s dedicated to helping others break free from addiction.Terry is also a committed fundraiser in memory of his son, climbing mountains and volcanoes across the world — from Ecuador to Kilimanjaro. He’s now approaching 13 yrs clean and sober.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK - support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode!www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro4:40 A rock bottom moment 9:30 Shame, not feeling good enough and heroin14:35 If drugs are the answer what is the question?15:00 ADHD was the gateway drug 18:10 Alcohol to heroin was fast 21:30 Heroin withdrawal 25:15 Heroin addiction leads to stealing 27:00 Addiction Vs dependency 28:40 Cross addiction & relapse 32:20 Do you have to give up all drugs?33:20 How did Terry get clean and sober?37:30 12 Steps has a 5% success rate?41:30 Staying sober during tragedy48:30 Embracing vulnerability & courage 50:20 Sponsor 51:20 Can you have a relationship early in recovery?Follow Terry Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/terry__devineTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@terry_devineFollow Oliverhttps://linktr.ee/olivermasonYouTube - https://tinyurl.com/5amc8jttSpotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1rApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3#AddictionRecovery#HeroinSurvivor#MentalHealthAwareness

Kaitlin never spoke about her addiction because she thought she would lose her kids. So, what happens when alcohol, coke and weed stop being fun and start taking over your life and threaten everything you hold most sacred and precious? What happens when addiction changes from keeping you safe to making you vulnerable to assault? We explore what life and motherhood really looks like in the haze of drink and drugs - not from a place of judgement but from lived experience. This is about the reality of addiction, the behaviour that comes with it, and the long process of learning who you are without the substances you once relied on. It’s not about perfection, but about honesty — the kind that comes after everything has fallen apart.We talk about losing ourselves to drinking and drugs culture, the friendships that faded, and the dangerous moments that pushed things too far. We dig into the shame that keeps people stuck — the stories that feel too humiliating to tell, and how sharing them can become the first act of freedom. This is a conversation about emotional immaturity, about using alcohol and drugs to avoid feeling, and the strange peace that comes when you finally stop running. We break down what a relapse really is the data around around relapse rates and why rehabs don't keep you sober. You’ll hear what it’s like to rebuild from the ground up: getting your weekends back, repairing relationships, rediscovering ambition and joy, and learning to sit with yourself without needing a drink, spliff or a line to take the edge off. It’s also about empathy — how surviving addiction can give you a deeper understanding of human beings, and why the pain you go through can become the very thing that allows you to help others. Kaitlin has been sober over three years and proves that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a better one. A mum of three, she speaks honestly about the highs, the lows, and everything in between, living one day at a time with love, humility, and the support of her 12-step program.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro4:00 Kaitlin's rock bottom moment 5:30 Not safe and feeling shame 7:30 Fear of letting secrets out and losing children 10:30 Anything you put before recovery you will lose?13:30 Are the words disease and addict a help or a problem?20:00 Relapse leads to death? 23:00 What is a 'real' alcoholic?26:00 How drugs and alcohol progressed from teens 30:20 Was your favourite weed, coke, pills or booze? 33:25 Sponsor 34:30 Relapse or blip?36:45 The gift of desperation 38:15 What is the real relapse rate? 42:00 The first 30 days are awful!44:00 Finding balance again45:30 Going sober and losing friends 47:20 Why is The 12 Steps the last thing most people try?50:45 What about tradition 12?53:30 When are you ready to get sober?54:30 Why rehab doesn't keep you sober 55:30 Quitting weed was the hardest for me!Follow KaitlinInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberasamotherfocusedTikTok -https://www.tiktok.com/@kaitlinissoberFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpdsPlease subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube -Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1rApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3#AddictionRecovery#SoberMum#AlcoholFree