Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

There’s a side effect of prostate cancer surgery that almost no one warns men about – until it hits them in the bedroom. I’ve had more than one partner discover something was seriously wrong only after they lost their erections, and I’ve since learned they’re far from alone.This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I talk to Jon Plate from Nordic Stem Cells about what he calls the “silent aftershock” of radical prostatectomy and why so many men are left to quietly grieve their sex lives while everyone tells them they should just be grateful to be alive. We also get into a new stem‑cell approach that claims to do more than just offer another pill or pump.Here’s what we cover:* The hidden sexual fallout of prostate cancer surgery* Why doctors gloss over erection problems – and how that feels for men* Shame, ageism, and why older couples stop asking for help* A stem‑cell treatment that aims to fix the cause, not just the symptoms* What men and partners should be asking before and after surgeryReady to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later LifeIf you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Your support makes the weekly podcast and blog possible and helps keep this work (and me) going. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

There’s no cut-off point when it comes to understanding what you like in bed as my guest on this week’s podcast, Kathy Kay, discovered. Kathy is, for those who know their podcasters, the wildly successful New York based host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and what a treat it was to have her come on Sex Advice for Seniors.Over 11 years, she has been collecting anonymous sexual confessions. Over 1300 of them and guess what? (She makes my 180+ episodes seem pedestrian, in comparison!). The over 60s are consistently her most surprising guests, with many in their 70s confessing that it was only recently they discovered their sexual preferences.There’s a couple in her new book, Secret Sex Lies of Total Strangers, who met after their spouses died and built a sex barn in their backyard. In their 70s. Neither of them saw it coming and they’re having a blast.Here’s what we cover:* Couples in their 70s having the best sex of their lives* The sex barn story you won’t forget in a hurry* Why open relationships are often closer than conventional ones* Men with decades of secrets and what finally changes at 50* Why desire grows as you get older, not the other way roundTo see exclusive photos of Kathy’s female guests, gain access to her private Discord channel where conversations get extra naughty, hear anonymous confessions, and receive all episodes early and ad-free, listeners can join the Strictly Anonymous Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcastKathy’s book, Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers—a collection of short, super sexy, true stories—is now available for pre-order. Get a copy here.To join SDC and receive a free trial, click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or visit SDC.com and use code 37712.Call the Confessions Hotline at 347-420-3579 (available 24/7). All voices are changed to ensure anonymity.Follow along:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=enWebsite: http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/All links: https://linktr.ee/StrictlyanonymouspodcastMy new program for men with Erectile Dysfunction. Check it out here, current introductory offer only $49.99 https://www.stayfirmprogram.comUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Ever wondered why some men in their 60s and 70s are secretly upgrading their cocks for bigger, harder confidence? Yup, it’s a thing. This episode features Chris Bustamante, known online as Injector Chris, a New York nurse practitioner who’s made a name helping men look and feel better below the belt. He’s down to earth, straight talking and not shy about the fact that for lots of men size matters for self-esteem as much as for sex.We talk about the treatments men are asking for and what actually works if you want to make your penis bigger, firmer, and more responsive, all without surgery or gimmicks.Here’s what to expect:Girth filler that adds real volume, both hard and softThe P-Shot using high-concentration PRP for stronger erectionsPenile Botox for quicker, fuller blood flowScrotal filler for men on testosterone who’ve lost volumeChris has seen how these procedures can transform not just bodies but confidence and relationships.Listen in - it’s candid, eye-opening, and might change how you think about ageing, pleasure, and performance.Ready to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later LifeIf you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.Your support makes the weekly podcast and blog possible and helps keep this work (and me) going. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Have you ever turned down a pool party because you didn’t want to be seen in a swimsuit? Avoided intimacy because you couldn’t stop thinking about your body? Junie Moon spent decades doing exactly that.Junie is a love coach who works primarily with women in the second half of life. She helps them navigate dating, starting over, and learning to want themselves again. But before she could do any of that work for others, she had to do it for herself. So in 2016, she did something most of us would never consider: she had her naked body painted by internationally known body painter Andy Golub, filmed the whole thing, and turned it into a mini documentary called Shed the Shame.It didn’t start as a grand statement. Junie had a live streaming show and Andy was a guest. Mid-conversation, she asked if he’d paint her body while they filmed. He said yes. And then the dread set in.Her stomach went into knots. Andy paints naked people. What was she doing? She spent a month sitting with the question: was this for attention, or was there a real message here? The answer came when she realised there was more risk in not doing it. She had already missed out on pool parties, beach trips, living freely in her own skin. The fact that she could even consider standing naked in front of a camera meant something had already shifted.She decided to go all in and she hired a videographer. She screened the resulting short at film festivals, sat in a cinema watching herself on a huge screen, naked. Not because she felt perfect but because healing is possible, and she wanted to prove it.What she found wasn’t perfection. It was about the fact that she’d given herself permission.That’s the word that keeps coming up in Junie’s work. Not transformation, not a before-and-after, but permission. Permission to take up space. Permission to let someone touch you. Permission to be seen, imperfect and whole at once. Her partner tells her he loves every inch of her, every curve. She can receive it, she says, because she’s done enough of her own work to mostly believe it.“My body is a vehicle,” she says. “It’s holding my beautiful spirit.” But there’s a lot of old messaging, she adds, that tells us we’re not enough. Her work is helping women trace that messaging back to its roots and stop letting it make decisions for them.It’s the same work I’ve been doing in my own way. I’ve been going to Cap d’Agde, a naturist village in the south of France, for years. Forty thousand naked people wandering around, shopping, cycling, living. (If you’ve never been there, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience!). And what you see quickly is that no one looks like the magazines. The women who look perfect in clothes have stretch marks. Everyone’s got something going on. It’s the single most effective cure for body shame I’ve ever found.Junie agrees. She’s done nude beaches herself. Seeing real, unfiltered bodies in their every shape and size just brings you back to reality, she says. The body is unique and beautiful and different. And even the people you’d wish you looked like have their own insecurities.That’s the whole message. Not that we have to love what we see in the mirror every day. But that we can stop being at war with it.Key Takeaways* Body shame isn’t a personal failure. It’s old programming, and it can be reprogrammed.* Seeing real, unfiltered bodies, at nude beaches, in documentaries, in honest conversation, is one of the most powerful antidotes to shame.* You don’t have to believe you’re beautiful every day. You just have to stop letting the belief that you’re not run your choices.* Confidence is the most attractive quality in any room, at any size, at any age.* You can keep your clothes on during sex and still feel fully seen. Do what works for you.* Movement connects directly to desire. When we move our bodies, we move our energy. Everything wakes up.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Walk into an AARP event expecting walkers and wheelchairs. Leave rethinking everything you thought you knew about senior dating. That was Dr. Gilda Carle’s experience, and she has never looked at this age group the same way since.Gilda spent eight years as a columnist and spokesperson for Match.com, writing the widely read Ask Dr. Gilda column. When the company sent her to a Washington DC event for AARP members, she assumed she’d be done in five minutes. “I thought these people were going to be so over the hill,” she told me. “I’m going to make my presentation and five minutes later I’ll be out of the door.”Standing room only. A packed auditorium. Questions coming faster than she could answer them. These were not people with one foot in the grave.The women’s burning question? How do I find a man who drives at night? Gilda responded by asking every man in the room to raise his hand. What followed, she says, was a mob scene.The men had a different concern. They didn’t want their age displayed on the platform. One man made the argument with complete confidence. Short, bald, slightly bent. Ninety-two years old. He told Gilda he liked to date women in their sixties, and that he had what it takes. She believed him. She went back to Match and lobbied on his behalf. They declined.From there, our conversation covers a lot of ground. Gilda talks about why she walked out mid-sentence on a date who had shown up twenty years older than his profile claimed. (She had given a fake name online for safety: Sparkle. He chased her out of the restaurant calling after her. Loudly.) We discuss a Bumble study showing women are now dating ten years younger on average, and why their younger partners are enthusiastic about it. And Gilda shares the story of a PhD psychologist who found love by reading the obituaries, tracking down recently widowed men in her neighbourhood, and arriving with casseroles. One of them married her.We also get into something I hear about constantly from women my age. Men who retire without hobbies, without purpose, without much to offer in a conversation. Gilda shares a statistic that stuck with me: people who retire with nothing to replace the work tend to live only seven more years afterward. The grind ends and there is no plan for what comes next. That’s not just a health problem. It’s visible when you meet someone. It’s not attractive.Gilda’s position is simple: get vital before you try to get seen. Work out. Present well. Have a life. Know who you are. Because older women, as she points out, already do. We have done the difficult relationships, made the mistakes, and come out the other side with something younger women often cannot offer: directness, self-knowledge, and zero interest in playing games.Jane Seymour said she has had the best sex of her life at 74. Four husbands, one brilliant partner, no judgment, no interference. That is the standard Gilda is holding out for. Honestly, so am I.What Matters* Ageist algorithms are real. Lying about your age online is a rational response to being made invisible, not a character flaw.* Women’s top priority in senior dating is vitality, not youth, not money. Vitality. Men who let themselves go are not losing out to the competition. They are losing out to indifference.* Men who retire without purpose often become dependent on a partner for entertainment. It shows in every interaction, and it is not appealing.* Older women are increasingly dating younger, and the men are into it. Bumble data confirms it. Transparency and confidence are the draw.* One woman read the obituaries to find love. She brought casseroles. It worked. Do not dismiss unconventional approaches.* Essence matters more than age. The goal is to find someone who wants your presence, not your practicality.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

There’s a version of male ageing that’s become so familiar we’ve stopped questioning it. Energy drops. Interest fades. The man who used to be the life of the party just… stops showing up. His partner wonders where he went. He probably wonders too.Dan Leach hears this story constantly.Dan runs Valens Health, a UK-based hormone optimisation clinic focused on men’s health, though as our conversation made clear, hormones are very much a shared concern. His path into this work started personally, noticing his own vitality shifting in his 40s and finding that mainstream medicine didn’t have much to offer beyond a shrug. So he built something that did.The core problem, he explained, is that conventional medicine is set up to treat disease. Hormonal decline in men involves gradual drops in testosterone, DHEA, and thyroid from age 40 onward. It often doesn’t register as pathology. The numbers land inside the “normal range.” The patient gets sent home. Nothing changes.But the normal range is enormous. And there’s a significant difference between landing somewhere in that range and being where you were in your prime.That distinction is what Valens Health is built around. Dan calls it hormone optimisation rather than replacement: finding where each person actually functions best, not just keeping them out of the red zone.The testosterone conversation tends to carry a lot of baggage. People hear the word and think aggression, shortcuts, something vaguely illicit. Dan’s reframe is simple: testosterone doesn’t make you someone else. It makes you more of who you already are. If your energy has dropped off, your libido has gone quiet, you’ve lost motivation and muscle mass: it amplifies what’s been suppressed. The lights come back on.I’ve been taking prescription testosterone myself for a few months now, and the difference has been real. Better focus. More physical stamina. More interest in things generally, including sex. I wouldn’t have discovered it through a doctor. I found out through a friend. That’s a story I hear far too often.One thing I hadn’t known about before talking to Dan: DHEA. It’s not a hormone most people have heard of, but it plays a critical role in whether your body can actually use the testosterone it has. Some men have reasonable testosterone levels and still feel terrible, because the activation pathway isn’t working. DHEA is essentially the key that turns the lock. Adding it, Dan said, tends to produce a fast, noticeable effect.Thyroid rounds out the picture. It sets the pace for your entire metabolism. When it drops, even to a level that still reads as “normal” on a standard test, everything slows: mood, energy, concentration, libido. Optimising all three together is where people start describing themselves as feeling 30 again at 57.There’s also a serious health reason not to ignore this. Dan was clear that unreliable erections aren’t just a sex problem. They’re a cardiovascular signal. Around 80% of men who start experiencing them regularly will go on to have a significant cardiac event within five years. It’s worth paying attention to.Valens Health works remotely, which Dan says most patients actually prefer. It starts with a free consultation and comprehensive bloodwork. The premium package, a dedicated doctor and ongoing optimization for a full year, runs £1,800, payable in instalments.Dan put it simply toward the end of our conversation: isn’t life about feeling as good as we can? Most men have been told the answer is no, that decline is just the deal. It doesn’t have to be.Key Takeaways* Testosterone, DHEA, and thyroid all decline from age 40 onward. “Within normal range” doesn’t mean optimal.* DHEA helps the body activate testosterone. Some men have adequate levels but can’t use them properly.* Unreliable erections are a cardiovascular signal, not just a sex problem. Around 80% of men who experience them regularly go on to have a significant cardiac event within five years.* Testosterone doesn’t cause aggression. It amplifies who you already are.* Valens Health works remotely. The premium programme is £1,800/year, payable in instalments.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to my sexy stories, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

In this episode, I unpack my long-held scepticism about so‑called “orgasm techniques” and the pressure on women to climax in multiple ways. Then I speak to Steve Bodansky, co‑creator of Extended Massive Orgasm (EMO), a practice focused on clitoral stimulation, deep relaxation, and “peaking” (edging) to prolong pleasure.We explore how extended orgasm works, why relaxation matters more than effort, and how orgasmic capacity can grow with practice — even into your 70s and 80s. We also talk about aging, self‑pleasure, conditioning the body for pleasure, and what it really means to invest in your sexual wellbeing for the long term. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Ever wondered what it’s like to hire a matchmaker?This week I spoke with Tammy Shaklee, a heterosexual woman who specialises in matching LGBTQ+ clients over 50. She’s spent 14 years helping gay and lesbian singles find serious relationships.It goes without saying, I was curious to hear how she got her start. Turns out, after her divorce, Tammy hired a matchmaker and met her husband. Years later, a gay friend said he wished there was a matchmaking service for gay men who valued privacy. Tammy assumed one existed. She researched for 24 hours, pretending to be a 40-year-old gay physician looking for a dignified way to meet professionals online.She found nothing dignified.That’s when she realised matchmakers weren’t serving the LGBTQ community at all. Being entrepreneurial, she built a service exclusively for gay and lesbian singles seeking serious relationships called H4M.The biggest problem she encountered? Older gay men, it is assumed, want younger partners. Younger men want financial support. If you’re seeking someone your own age with similar stability, you’re stuck. App for gay men are more often than not hookup platforms. They don’t work for finding real compatibility. That’s where matchmakers come in - introducing you to people you’d never meet on your own.My favourite story of Tammy’s? A 66-year-old widow called Tammy, bursting with enthusiasm. She’d just spoken with her parents in their late 90s, still independent, still in love, still caring for each other. “I realised I have a 30-year relationship in front of me. We need to get started.” Tammy matched her twice. She met someone and never needed another introduction.Tammy’s filter for clients: “Would I have you at my holiday table? Would I set you up with my siblings?” She turns people away if she’s not the right fit, then helps them find someone who is.Cost: Thousands, not tens of thousands. She starts with a phone call. If the decision i is made to work together, Tammy will introduce you to one new person per month. She manages venues, reservations, and feedback calls. The process continues until one match clicks.The takeaway: “When you love the life you’ve built, that’s magnetic. People want kindness and someone happy with what they have.” Contentment attracts. Desperation repels. Don’t we know it?!What Matters* You might have 30 years left. Do the math on your own life.* People want partners who like their lives, not people who hate theirs.* Apps are hookup tools now. Use different tools for serious relationships.* Interview your matchmaker. Ask: Would they have you at their holiday table?* Enthusiasm wins. Hope beats pessimism every time.Connect with TammyWebsite https://www.h4m.com/Instagram H4M MatchmakingFacebook https://www.facebook.com/H4MMatchmakingYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@H4MMatchmakingUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What do we learn about sex when no one talks about pleasure?In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, clinical psychologist Dr. La Keita Carter (Dr. L) joined me for a powerful, honest conversation about sex, silence, and the myths surrounding women of colour and intimacy. We explore how cultural messages, shame, and generational “don’t bring a baby into this house” rules shape sexual desire, relationships, and self-worth, often long into adulthood.Dr. L breaks down the difference between sexual interest and sexual activity, why so many women feel obligated to have sex they don’t want, and how the “strong woman” stereotype leaves little room for softness in the bedroom.A thoughtful, eye-opening discussion about pleasure, power, and why whatever we’re silent about often carries the most shame.🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.00:00 Introduction to Dr. La Keita Carter00:54 Understanding Sexuality and Trauma01:59 Cultural Assumptions About Women of Color03:44 The Silence Surrounding Sexual Education05:19 The Role of Pleasure in Sexuality09:14 Duty vs. Desire in Sexual Relationships10:45 Masturbation and Self-Exploration12:45 The Importance of Orgasms15:22 Strength and Vulnerability in the Bedroom17:58 The Exhaustion of Being Strong20:42 Historical Perspectives on Women of Color and Sexuality22:25 Over-Sexualization of Women of Color25:48 The Male Perspective on Sexuality27:24 The Importance of Language in Gender Discussions31:37 Ending the Cycle of ShameUnlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

As we age, the complexities of love and intimacy evolve, often leading to challenges that can impact our relationships. In this episode of “Sex Advice for Seniors,” I engaged in a candid conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Stewart, exploring the intersection of mental health, retirement, and sexual relationships among older adults. One of the key themes we discussed was the profound effect of mental health on sexual relationships, particularly for men in later life. Dr. Stewart pointed out that many older adults experience a crisis of identity after retirement. For instance, men who have defined themselves by their careers may struggle with feelings of depression and aimlessness post-retirement. This shift can lead to challenges in intimacy, as depression can diminish sexual desire. Dr. Stewart emphasised that it’s difficult to engage in a fulfilling sex life when one is battling feelings of inadequacy or sadness.Ageing is a complex journey that affects our relationships in profound ways. As Dr. Stewart highlighted, understanding the interplay between mental health, medication, and intimacy is vital for older adults. Open communication, empathy, and a willingness to explore new forms of intimacy can help partners navigate the challenges that arise as they age together. By fostering understanding and connection, couples can maintain vibrant, fulfilling relationships well into their later years.Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber. You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life. If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe