Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

In this episode, the third in the Santa Fe trilogy, Kimberly speaks with Ranier Amiel, an artist, bodyworker, and single mother who is restoring a century-old church in Truchas, New Mexico, and turning it into a home, studio, and eventually a space of community and sacred inquiry. Recorded inside the church itself, their conversation moves between the balance of motherhood and creativity, the grounding power of physical labor, and what it means to hunt for and make God after losing faith in the spiritual community you were raised in. Ranier shares her vulva portraiture work, including its two-year run inside an immersive theater project in Amsterdam, and the stark contrast she witnessed between American and Dutch women's relationships to their bodies. They discuss the trauma orientation as a cultural overcorrection that can become avoidant of self-expression, the obsession with self-definition versus actually embodying who you are, and the need for hierarchy, tradition, and compression alongside the essential self. The conversation closes with reflections on the layers between: body and soul, survival and art, the seen and the unseen. Bio Ranier Amiel is an artist, bodyworker, movement teacher, and painter based in Truchas, New Mexico, where she is restoring a century-old church into a home, studio, and community space. Born in Santa Fe and raised deeply inside a spiritual community, she has spent the last two decades on what she calls a path of hunting and making God—seeking the sacred through the body, art, and radical vulnerability. She is known for her vulva portraiture and witnessing work, which she has practiced for over twelve years, including a two-year collaboration with an immersive theater company in Amsterdam. A single mother to her son Ollie, Ranier's life and work sit at the intersection of art, motherhood, bodywork, and the creation of sacred space. She envisions the church as a place of deeper meaning, community inquiry, and a different perspective on spiritual truth—guided by a board of priestesses. What She Shares: – The wrestle of motherhood and creativity as a single parent – Restoring a century-old church in Truchas as her biggest art project – How physical labor, trenching, building, moving rock, became the most grounding thing she's ever done – Hunting and making God after spiritual disillusionment at 19 – Her vulva portraiture work and what it reveals beyond trauma – The night-and-day contrast between American and Dutch women's body relationships – A vision for the church as sacred community space led by a board of priestesses What You'll Hear: – Motherhood and creativity: the wrestle of being a full-time single mom and a wild artist – Defining for herself what a good mom looks like and what she's willing to let go of – The history of the church in Truchas and how she found it on Zillow – Desperation and audacity: taking on a property with no plumbing and no heat – How building her own home with her hands healed her nervous system – Being a white woman in a historically Hispano community and being welcomed – The church's journey from services to gallery to bedroom to future sacred space – Growing up in a spiritual community that fell apart and watching people cling harder to beliefs – What church means to her: hunting and making God, creating sacred space – Removing the patriarchy from people's bodies through bodywork, movement, and painting – The vulva witnessing work: reclamation paintings, celebration paintings, and touching the place beyond the trauma – Two years of live witnessing inside an immersive theater project in Amsterdam – American versus Dutch women: puritanical repression versus healthy embodiment – Kimberly's reflections on writing Erotic Seasons and holding both wounding and alchemical power – The trauma orientation as avoidance of self-expression and a block to maturation – Watching her teenage son self-diagnose and the cultural swing from denial to over-identification – The geranium and the jungle plant: helping people find the conditions they need to thrive – Uniqueness tangled with individualism and the obsession with self-definition – The loss of hierarchy, tradition, and roles—and why compression helps us find essence – The body as the physical form of the soul, not a separate sack of flesh – The layers between as that which actually makes everything separate and not – Kimberly on occupying a between space in the culture and cultivating trustworthiness over customer satisfaction Resources Location: Truchas, New Mexico Website: https://ranieramiel.com/ IG: @ranieramiel

In this episode, Kimberly speaks with Jaye Marolla, a bodyworker, martial artist, Qigong teacher, and founder of The Body Innate and the Yin Dojo in Santa Fe, New Mexico. They explore the integration of martial arts, bodywork, and Qigong as a path of healing and sovereignty, and what Jaye calls "yin warriorship:" a reclamation of the warrior archetype rooted in surrender, Eros, and facing one's own mortality rather than competition or heroism. They discuss how Jaye came to open her home as a dojo, the ancient tradition of merging practice space with living space, and the energetic responsibility that requires. The conversation moves through the role of Eros and sexuality in training spaces, the difference between safety and emergence, the trauma frame versus a vitality frame, and what it means to lead atmospheres rather than follow scripts. They also explore queerness as a state of questioning, the tension between sovereignty and individualism, and the concept of couples dojos as somatic spaces for partnership. Bio Jaye Marolla is a bodyworker, martial artist, and Qigong practitioner based in Santa Fe, New Mexico, where she runs the Yin Dojo. She is the founder of The Body Innate and has trained extensively in multiple martial arts traditions including Aikido and Jiu Jitsu, as well as Thai bodywork, which she studied for three years with a master teacher in Thailand. A former Division 1 basketball player, Jaye integrates decades of physical training with Taoist philosophy, somatic practice, and community-based teaching. Her work sits at the intersection of yin warriorship, Eros, and embodied leadership, and she teaches martial arts, Qigong, bodywork, and leadership through emergent, atmosphere-based practice. She also leads couples dojos and collaborates with practitioners including Stephen Jackson on retreats exploring death, embodiment, and communal practice. What She Shares: – How the Yin Dojo came to be in her home in Santa Fe – The ancient tradition of integrating bodywork and martial arts under one roof – Yin warriorship as a response to cultural chaos and the call of the body – Vitality and animism versus the pathological medicine frame – The role of Eros, eroticism, and sexuality in training spaces – Her journey from D1 basketball to Thai bodywork to martial arts teaching – Couples dojos as somatic, embodied spaces for partnership – Queerness as a state of questioning and healthy boundary transgression What You'll Hear: – Kimberly's introduction to Jaye's work and their collaboration at Ghost Ranch – Creating a home-based dojo and the energetic configuration of practice, treatment, and living space – The interplay of healing and combat knowledge across traditions – Why body workers need to train their own bodies – Sovereignty versus taking on others' energy in bodywork – Transitioning from an all-women's dojo to an all-gender space – The "toxic masculinity" conversation and the abandonment of the masculine – Leadership as emergent, atmosphere-based, and rooted in physical training – The creation of atmospheres: moving away from comparative gaze toward cooperative gaze – Warriorship as a dying art rooted in death awareness, not competition – Frames beyond trauma: warriorship, vitality, eroticism – Training for three years in Thailand and the gray space of becoming a practitioner – The necessity of being in the flesh in a technological age – Eros in training spaces: the puritanical bind of encouraging then discouraging the body's response – Self-modulation and erotic sovereignty as a resource – Sovereignty versus individualism: belonging and exile – The trauma orientation as a cultural and capitalist hindrance – Simple ceremony and self-reverent practice – Yin and Yang: growing capacity in both simultaneously – Emergent teaching versus deterministic scripts in group spaces – Safety as a placation of wildness versus supportive disorientation – Queerness as living off the main path and transgressing boundaries healthily – What "the layers between" means: space, Yin, and limitless possibility – Couples dojos: somatic conversations beyond the sexual context Resources Business: The Body Innate Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico Website: https://www.thebodyinnate.com/ IG: @thebodyinnate

Kimberly is joined by luminary thinker Dr. Betty Martin as they discuss the evolution and impact of the Wheel of Consent, a vanguard model for enthusiastic consent, asking for what you want, and living out embodied intimacy. Dr. Martin, who developed the model, shares her journey from creating the wheel through her hands-on workshops to writing a book so the wheel may reach an even larger audience, with Kimberly noting just how deep of an impact Betty's work has had on Kimberly's teaching and offerings. They explore the challenges of enthusiastic consent, the importance of feeling with one's hands, and the universal nature, as well as the cultural nuances, of touch and sex. Betty emphasizes the need for accurate teaching and the development of the wheel of consent in various fields, including therapy, businesses and social justice. The conversation highlights the significance of embodiment and the incomparable emotional impact of present and thoughtful touch. Bio Dr. Betty Martin spent her childhood in a large family and her youth in experimental communities, learning about people in more groups than she can count. Founding a co-housing community with countless hours of meetings taught her the value of excellent facilitation. Now she enjoys helping others learn the skills she picked up along the way. She graduated Chiropractic College in 1976 and practiced for almost 30 years, including several body-mind integration modalities. She has taught Peer Counseling for teens and adults, Educational Kinesiology and other bodywork for professionals, sexuality workshops for women, gender liberation, and boundary and communication workshops of many flavors, including Cuddle Party. After retiring from her Chiropractic practice on Vashon Island, she moved into Seattle and opened a private practice as a relationship and intimacy coach, where she guided people through somatic experiences, sometimes erotic and sometimes not, so they could learn how to be comfortable in their own skin and experience pleasure in ways that supported their development. It was during those years of working with hundreds of people that she noticed and developed the Wheel of Consent, a practice and a model of taking apart receiving and giving. She started sharing her experience with other practitioners and developed the 5-day training, Like a Pro, focusing on the Wheel, communication and professional standards. In 2018 she co-founded the School of Consent, where she has trained numerous facilitators of Wheel of Consent workshops, and a handful of faculty to teach Like a Pro. She is happily handing over teaching to those she has trained, and these days contributes to other organizations' trainings and presents to various professional groups. She also enjoys offering supervision and mentoring to practitioners. She once again lives in community and is the proud mom of 3 and grandma of 2. What You'll Hear Dr. Martin's background in chiropractic, body-mind integration modalities, and her development of the wheel of consent Betty's 13 year writing process and how her clients led her to constantly evolve her concepts for the book The development of the Three-Minute Game the value of taking turns and asking for what you want Why receiving can often be harder than giving. The importance of touch and attention to intimacy Why training new teachers is so important to Dr. Martin They discuss cultural differences as it relates to touch and sex The emergence of the term enthusiastic consent The reach of The Wheel of Consent from relationships to communities to businesses to social movements The exercise of waking up the hands to improve ability to feel with them Resources Website: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/ Ig: @drbettymartin Book: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/thebook Activate Your Inner Jaguar: Sexuality and the Nervous System sign up link is here

Bio Michel Odent, MD, is a French obstetrician trained as a general surgeon known for his tireless research on how environmental factors present during pregnancy and birth affect babies, children, and our communities. He is the founder of the Primal Health Research Centre and authored the first articles on the initiation of lactation and the use of birthing pools. He has authored 15 books and passed on August 19, 2025. What He Shares: Why birth is an important subject not only for birth workers, but for all people interested in the future of our species. Why the period of birth is a critical period in a person's life The inability to study the long-term, non-specific affect of modern pregnancy and birth practices Exploring the changes in Homo sapiens resulting from birthing practices What You'll Hear: How birthing hormones affect our biological programing Understanding the needs of a laboring person Why the microbiome of a newborn baby affects a their lifelong health How the future of our species is being modified based on birth environments Discovering the correlation between birth choices and children's behavior Developing appropriate questions around new pregnancy and birth practices Improving research ability to answer unknowns The difficulty of understanding the long term risk factors of birthing choices Prioritizing the development of new research questions Why pregnancy is not the best time to educate yourself on these issues Expanding our view beyond the individual choices to the medical establishment Becoming bilingual in the languages of intuitive knowledge and scientific research Exploring how making birth a social event altered the fetal ejection reflex How technological advancements have altered birth Links Youtube of the Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPKd9TmyMB0

On this episode, Kimberly and, author, artist, and researcher, Jamie Mustard dive deep into Jamie's childhood in Scientology and his healing and research quest to understand his complex childhood PTSI (Post-Traumatic Stress Injury). This conversation moves between Mustard's autobiographical story, which features heavily in his upcoming novel Child X and graphic novel Hybred, in addition to his previous research into trauma that stemmed from a transformative experience with Stellate Ganglion Block (SGB) treatment. After benefitting so deeply from the treatment, Jamie spent years researching The Invisible Machine, the book he co-wrote with Dr. Eugen Lipov, the doctor who developed the treatment, and which features input from many leaders across the trauma field. Jamie emphasizes the importance of addressing trauma as a biological injury rather than a disorder. He goes into detail about his work across victims of trauma from soldiers to sexual assault survivors to former gang members who all benefited from SGB treatment that resets the sympathetic nervous system, significantly reducing trauma symptoms. Jamie also discusses the role of brain health in trauma recovery and the potential of alternative therapies like ketamine and psilocybin. In the second half of the conversation, Jamie details his harrowing experiences as a baby in Scientology's notorious Sea Org's, and the effects of severe neglect, medical issues, and emotional abuse on his adulthood. Jamie highlights the systemic destruction of empathy and the mind-body connection within Scientology. He emphasizes the importance of his book in raising awareness about the lost children of Scientology, as well as the intersection of race and his family's history, framing his story as a quest for humanism and resilience. You can best support Jamie's work by pre-ordering the Child X and Hybred at the links below! Bio Jamie Mustard was born into one of the most influential fringe movements in the 1970s: Scientology. Raised on a mythos of spaceships and made to believe that it was his life's purpose to help save the world, he was determined to survive — not only unsurvivable neglect but also the impossible physical and psychological gauntlet of extreme poverty and illiteracy. Child X (BenBella Books) is a dark existential journey into a deepest hole of human existence and the road back. The unbelievable story of a lost generation of children, Child X takes readers through Mustard's childhood and adolescence in "the movement," his daring escape, and his rise into self-possession. With wit and vulnerability, Mustard sheds light on one of the untold, but not uncommon, accounts of a powerful Black family that rose from the ashes of slavery to prominence and wealth, and how the counterculture of the 1960s and 70s caused that rise to crumble. This deeply personal true story gives a child's-eye view of one of the most notorious American religious movements in history. Despite his family's success, Jamie would be born a slave and then reborn an artist. Through extraordinary encounters with celebrity, icons, and historical figures, it also powerfully places Black American history in the larger context of world events. A universal story of resilience in the face of overwhelming odds, Child X celebrates yet transcends race — and is ultimately an uplifting, impossible-to-believe story of rising out of adversity and building a life full of meaning and connection. With this book, Mustard continues working to restore his family's legacy and provides a salient saga of the road to humanity and self-possession. What You'll Hear: Why Jamie hesitates to call himself a survivor Why Jamie doesn't refer to Scientology as a cult How an artist and art director dove headlong into trauma research The ins and outs of Stellate Ganglion Block (SGB) treatment for PTSD/PTSI Jamie's extensive research on PTSD/PTSI treatment modalities Jamie's encounters with Stephen Porges, Gabor Maté, Peter Lavine, and Daniel Amen, and military psychologists on Fort Bragg. How Scientology's Mission translates to severe childhood neglect The consequences of Medical neglect for infants The justifications savior-complex-driven parents use to emotionally separate from their child The way that Scientology's ideology treats feelings and ailments The impact of hiding health issues The power of self-blame How Child X focuses more on the emotional effects than the sensationalist events What are the retaliation tactics of Scientology for speaking out? Jamie's African-American family history including the Tuskegee Airmen and generations of doctors Links Website: iconist.ltd IG: @jamie_mustard (Jamie encourages you to direct any questions to him over DM) Pre-Order Child X here Pre-Order Hybred here

Summary In this episode, Kimberly interviews her favorite podcast guest–her daughter Cece! Cece's last podcast episode was four years ago, so she shares her reflections around graduating highschool, her college application process, and her experiences as being Kimberly's daughter. She also turns the mic back to Kimberly to ask Kimberly her own reflections on life's various stages, single parenting, and what she wants her work to look like after Cece flies the nest. Bio Cece, Kimberly's daughter, is a 17 year old high school graduate and vocalist. What She Shares: –Cece's college application process –Reflections on being Kimberly's daughter –Decisions around college and major –Cece interviews Kimberly What You'll Hear: –Graduating highschool –How Cece feels being apart of Kimberly's "brand" –Why Cece wants to go to college –Highly academic highschool –Where Cece will attend college –Applying to various colleges –Ranking safety schools, match schools, and reach schools –Writing college application essays –Cultural neuroses of applying to colleges –Kimberly's experience of college applications –Reflections on being an only child –Wanting a sibling –Being the focus as an only child –Thoughts on being Kimberly's daughter –How Cece feels leaving home –Excited about moving to Scotland –Navigating the current political climate –Kimberly's reflections about being a maiden –What Kimberly finds hard about single parenting –What Kimberly would do differently as a parent –Kimberly's favorite part of being Cece's mom –How being Cece's mom informs Kimberly's work –Parenting phases that Kimberly misses –Kimberly's work as fringe and niche –How Kimberly views her future work –What it's like to be a teenager right now –How Cece handles having a phone –Cece's advice for other parents –Cece's music update –Cece's offers support for college application process Resources Email: cecevieira@protonmail.com IG: @ceciliajvieira

In this episode, Kimberly and Alex discuss his extensive background in working with children on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). He spent much of those years taking a non-traditional approach from just behavioral to prioritizing fun and community. This work led him to keenly understanding the importance of local agriculture, nutrition, and the gut-brain connection, and eventually he began working as an animal butcher and supporting his wife's work, The Wild Nutritionist. Aspects of their discussion are connected through the thread of the importance of holistic care for ASD individuals as well as local farming, nutrition, and the gut-brain connection. Bio Alex Johnson is a father, butcher, former autism specialist, husband of Kate Pope, The Wild Nutritionist, and long-term friend of Kimberly's. His background in theater studies, and then psychology, led him to working with children on the Autism Spectrum Disorder for over a decade. Understanding the needs of this population then helped him transition to regenerative agriculture and animal butchery. What He Shares: –Working with children on the Autism Spectrum Disorder –How and why ASD has changed in recent years –Harms and limitations of diagnoses and labels –Transitioning to regenerative agriculture and butchery –Prioritizing community through local farming What You'll Hear: –How Alex began working with kids –Studied theater and psychology –Role play and autism in 2010 –How insurance changed autism –In home and in community teaching to kids with ASD –Bringing families together with potlucks –DSM-5 refining definition of ASD –Disproportionately diagnosed in boys versus girls –Severity ratings (1, 2, 3) of ASD –Issues with self-diagnoses –Performative vulnerability –Challenges in diagnosing ASD –Social, Communication, and Behavior –Familial approaches to ASD and community –Neurodivergence and ASD labels –Limitations of checklists of diagnoses –Gut issues and ASD –Behavioral versus holistic and community care –Regenerative agriculture, nutrition, and ASD –Transitioning to animal butchery –Small-scale, mobile harvest operation –Mobile Harvest Truck –Art of animal butchery and carrying traditions –Politics and farming –Community care in farming and rural areas –Nutritional needs for families –Getting kids involved in family nutrition –Importance of local farmers markets –Talking to local farmers –Buying seasonal produce –Harms of individual priorities versus community –Returning to community care Resources Website: https://regenerativecookingschool.com/ IG: @wildnutrionist

In this episode, Kimberly and Tyson discuss the magnitude of pornography including addiction, nervous system regulation, and recovery. Tyson describes his own personal journey being addicted to and then healing from porn addiction and how that informs his work with men and couples today. He discusses the prevalence of porn, how it functions with technology and AI, and how many men use it to either up-regulate or down-regulate their nervous systems. Rather than moralizing porn and porn addiction, Tyson describes how to find healing and freedom through channeling real life force as well as advice for women who may have partners or sons addicted to, or exposed to, pornography. Bio Tyson Adams is a trauma-informed IFS men's coach, somatic bodyworker and psychedelic facilitator. After spending 20 years addicted to pornography, he outgrew it ten years ago and has found his passion and purpose in helping other men master their lifeforce energy. He also co-facilitates men's work leadership intensives and works with couples experiencing intimacy challenges. When he's not working you'll catch him on a rock wall or riding a slackline in sunny San Diego. What He Shares: –His own addiction and healing from porn –The normalization and prevalence of porn –Porn and the nervous system –Advice for women and mothers –How to heal from porn addiction What You'll Hear: –Tyson's first introduction to porn at early age –Boyhood innocence being fractured –Secrecy, shame, and hiding with internet porn –Joined fraternity in college –Porn chairman in fraternity –Normalization of porn and drinking –90 percent of porn has some form of violence –A third of internet searches is porn –Expecting partners to mimic porn content –Normalization of extreme sexual behaviors from porn –Highjacking nervous system –No age verification –Comparing ourselves to AI models –War on nervous system and spiritual warfare –Installing browser blockers on children's devices –Ages 8-9 typically first exposure to porn –BARK.us Blocker and search tracker –Importance of early conversations with children –Importance of community in these conversations for men and boys –Blind spot in mens' groups around sex and sexuality –Inflation of power causing harm in mens' groups –How and why Tyson ended porn addiction –Psychedelic use with studying pornography –Preys on trauma and normalizes behaviors –Men using porn to activate energy and nervous system regulation –Women and porn addictions –Seminal fluid as a life force –Healthy number of ejaculation frequency –Not moralizing porn addiction –Women blaming themselves for partner's porn addiction –Seek therapy and trusted community help in partner's addiction –Hope and healing is possible –Open communication and repair –Developing archetypes with sex worker –One on one work and IFS sessions –From thinking to feeling way to orgasm –Nervous system resetting with clients –Convergence of technology, porn, and psychedelics Resources Tyson Adams' Website IG: @tysonadams__

In this episode, Kimberly Ann Johnson and filmmaker/producer Jackson Kroopf reflect on their respective experiences watching Best Picture Winner Anora. They discuss their contrasting experiences of seeing the films in theaters, what role sex and violence played in the film, and unpack some of what they were drawn to and troubled by in the film. And while they both found the hedonism in the film uncomfortable, the film's ending landed, particularly in its portrayal of power dynamics, intimate rapport, and the broken fantasies that emerge in pursuit of the American dream. Along the way, they consider to what extent the film's success hinged on a desensitized audience and what that might say about where we find ourselves culturally when it comes to the female body, our nervous systems, and sexuality. If you'd like to dive deeper into these topics, consider signing up for Kimberly's upcoming course Activate Your Inner Jaguar: Movement, Meditation & The Female Nervous System. What You'll Hear Why Kimberly walked out the first time she saw it. A consideration of how sex and violence functioned in the film. What commentary is the film making about the nature of sex work? The erotic vs. the pornographic What is the moral center of the film? What role does comedy play in the film? Sadness around desensitization in our culture The desire for representations of sexuality that are connected, off-script, non-generic Representations of sexuality on a woman's own terms The fantasy of the American Dream falling apart Old world vs. new world when it comes to 1st and 2nd generation immigrants Is there any worth in bearing witness to extreme hedonism Can cinema re-sensitize us? Does violence in films reflect what's in the collective or determine what's in the collective? What happens when couples more openly discuss their sexual preferences? Can repair happen if a negative sexual experience takes place with a partner? Longing for seeing representations of moral men outside of "hero" roles Links Sign up for the course Activate Your Inner Jaguar: Movement, Meditation & The Female Nervous System here.

In this deep dive into menopause and elderhood, Kimberly and Kate Codrington discuss how they see their inter-generational work with women around self-care and cultural work. Kate's book The Second Spring: The Self-Care Guide to Menopause and her more recent The Perimenopause Journal have made an indelible impact as Kimberly transitioned to the other side of the menopause hill. Two women, in their second spring, consider their responsibilities to women in various cycles of womanhood. They explore the impact of teachers, trauma, and the digital age on women, highlighting the need for resilience, play, and the ability to hold paradoxes. The discussion also touches on the importance of role models, the ever-changing dynamics of female elders, and the significance of embodied compassion in doing work in the women's wellness and healthcare fields. Bio Kate's mission is to change the way we regard menopause and show how we can relax into our own, inner authority through our cyclical nature, deep body intelligence and menopause process. Life around and within is always communicating with us and her passion is for the 'soft animal body', the magic of the liminal, and the potential of emergent processes. Kate refuses to take herself too seriously and tries to never take on anything that is not pleasurable and delicious. She is a menstrual and menopause mentor, speaker, workshop facilitator, writer, podcaster and have been a therapist for more than 30 years. She is also an artist currently weaving textiles, words, story and stitch. She's in her second spring, which means post-menopause, and has deep gratitude for the education that the menopause process has gifted her. The Perimenopause Journal is now available at your favourite booksellers and my first book Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause was published by HarperCollins 2022. What You'll Hear The responsibility of female elders Accountability, compassion and intention Setting around the journey to menopause How does post-perimenopause impact mother/daughter relationships What is the purpose of elders? The power of some worldly detachment Michael Mead's "Growing Downwards" Embracing different styles and adornments as we age, reflecting on the changes in the body and preferences. The importance of being playful and expressive in one's choices, regardless of age or societal expectations. The intersection of joy and pleasure with healing Competition between women in the wellness and healthcare field Links Website: https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/ IG: @kate_codrington The Perimenopause Journal Activate Your Inner Jaguar: Sex Edition - Get on the Waitlist here

This is a special re-release of an episode featuring guest host Jackson Kroopf speaking with the incomparable Kimberly Ann Johnson and Stephen Jenkinson. We're bringing this conversation back to let you know about something special happening this weekend from Stephen Jenkinson and the Orphan Wisdom School: Sanity and Soul: Die Wise 10 Years. Taking place on March 15th and 16th at 10am Pacific, this 6-part online event is a deep dive into the wisdom of death, grief, and the soul, 10 years after the publication of Stephen's transformative book Die Wise. You'll get to experience the depth of Stephen's work in a pretty unique way: through 4 recorded grief counsel sessions with dying people, hearing Stephen practice, in 2025, the kind of work described in Die Wise. Plus, he'll be joined by two brilliant colleagues—a neuroscientist studying human consciousness and a filmmaker exploring the afterlife—to discuss the lasting impact of Die Wise on grief counseling, death doulas, and the way these ideas continue to shape our world. If you want to learn more and register, visit orphanwisdom.com/events. But now, enjoy this conversation from March 2023, following Reckoning at Mt. Madonna. Please do consider gifting yourself or a loved one this upcoming offering, Sanity & Soul that promises to provide some ceremony in these troubled times in ways only Stephen and the Orphan Wisdom School can. Link: https://orphanwisdom.com/event/die-wise-sanity-and-soul-ten-years-on/ What You'll Here in this Episode: Reflections on witness from retired birth and death workers The value of disillusionment The power of loneliness The proliferation of self pathologizing The complex politics of feelings The religion of western psychology Adolescents grabbing for pop psychology labels The respect in not offering solutions The eagerness to escape from pain while grieving Is love dead? Blessing not as approval but the emergence of something new Marriage as both celebration and loss Matrimony between cultures An only child and single parent inviting in a new husband Building an escape route as you enter a union The no-go zone of contemporary western marriage 15 minute weddings, 15 minute funerals, 15 minute births The cultural casualties of uniformity Being healthy enough to tend to home and neighbor Links ig @reckoning live Sanity & Soul Sign-Up https://orphanwisdom.com/event/die-wise-sanity-and-soul-ten-years-on/

In this episode, Kimberly dives deep into guest author Catherine Simone Gray's book Proud Flesh: A Memoir of Motherhood, Intimate Violence, and Reclaiming Pleasure. With tenderness, Kimberly and Catherine share their mutual appreciation for each other's writing and the deep impact Kimberly's work has had on the journey that led to Catherine's book. Catherine guides us through her journey of healing from a vaginal tear postpartum, which led to the discovery of proud flesh, a term for hypergranulation tissue. She describes the emotional and physical challenges she faced across two births (one hospital/C-Section, one home/natural), including silver nitrate treatments and the support of her husband; recounting the story of how the couple's relationships to one another's bodies changed when she invited him to draw her vulva daily. Catherine and Kimberly both emphasize the importance of language and writing in redefining sexuality and eroticism, and how this process can support women in reconnecting with their body. If you enjoyed this conversation be sure to sign up for their online gathering Writing as a Pathway to Pleasure on Sunday, February 23rd at https://kimberlyannjohnson.com/writing-pathway-to-pleasure/ Bio Catherine Simone Gray is a writer and teacher. Her writings on motherhood and healing first appeared on her blog Unsilenced Woman, where her piece about teaching her son consent reached 2.5 million around the world. Featured by Roxane Gay in The Audacity's Emerging Writer Series, her work has also appeared in The Bitter Southerner and the Michigan Quarterly Review: Mixtape. Her blog writings have been shared by respected organizations for new mothers, such as La Leche League USA, International Cesarean Awareness Network, and ImprovingBirth. Gray is the recipient of a literary arts fellowship with the Mississippi Arts Commission and has delivered three addresses at the Mississippi Women's March and Womanist rallies. With over a decade of experience as a writing teacher to people aged eight to eighty, she holds a master of arts in curriculum and instruction. She leads writing circles for women, mothers, and caregivers, exploring how writing can be an ally in our living and loving. Her debut memoir Proud Flesh: A Memoir of Motherhood, Intimate Violence, and Reclaiming Pleasure was published in 2025 by North Atlantic Books. She lives in Jackson, Mississippi, with her husband and their two sons. What You'll Hear Kimberly's deep appreciation for the writing craft found in Catherine's book and is moved by the way their work has intersected Catherine has been a Jaguar since 2017 and shares the way many baths listening, reading and sitting with Kimberly's work influenced Proud Flesh Catherine recalls key moments with her doctor in making a healing plan for a natural birth injury Catherine describes how the scientific term Proud Flesh took on poetic meaning in her life Catherine discusses the difference in healing from the numbing disconnect of C-Section to the embodied pain of a natural birth. Catherine describes a profound confrontation with how her and her husband relate to each other's bodies, which led to a durational art project in which he drew her vulva over time. Catherine and Kimberly reflect on erotic writing that doesn't reify centering the male gaze Kimberly and Catherine talk about their own evolving relationships to their bodies and the craft of writing Links IG - @unsilencedwoman Website - www.unsilencedwoman.com Book - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/771427/proud-flesh-by-catherine-simone-gray/ Online Gathering - https://kimberlyannjohnson

Kimberly and Mirabai Starr engage in a rich and intimate exploration of mysticism, personal loss, spirituality, and the intersection of sexuality and the sacred. They consider how they have each found spirituality in their everyday lives while being mindful of their journeys, cultures, ancestry, and the complexities involved. They discuss Mirabai's new book, "Ordinary Mysticism," which delves into the nature of mysticism and its accessibility to everyone every day. Mirabai emphasizes that mysticism doesn't require institutionalized religion and can be found in ordinary moments. They discuss the profound impact of loss and grief in Mirabai's life. She describes how these experiences deepened her connection to the sacred and the beauty intertwined with suffering. Bio Mirabai Starr is an award winning author of creative nonfiction and contemporary translations of sacred literature. She taught philosophy and world religions at the University of New Mexico, Taos for 20 years, and now teaches and speaks internationally on contemplative practice and inter-spiritual dialog. A certified bereavement counselor, Mirabai helps mourners harness the transformational power of loss. She has written over 15 books, and the latest is "Ordinary Mysticism." But you'll hear her talk about "Caravan of No Despair," "Wild Mercy," and some of her translations from Spanish to English, "In The Mystics," "The Great Mystics." She lives with her extended family in the mountains of northern New Mexico. What you'll hear: Mirabai's views on spiritual, literary and poetic writing. The origin story of her new book "Ordinary Mysticism" - including it's connection to Anne Lamott The ease in finding the mystical if you are open to it. The challenges of having that openness in the everyday The intersections of grief and the sacred Cultivating mystical awareness in daily life Searching for spiritual grounding Uprootedness of being spiritual but not religious How to understand your relationship to different spiritual technologies How to tap into spiritual bounty without colonizing and appropriating Intention and attention are crucial for recognizing the sacred in the mundane. The integration of sexuality and spirituality The common split many women feel between the sexual and the sacred aspects of their lives. How healing from/through sexual abuse can lead to sacredness in intimacy What's a responsible and mindful approach to drawing from various spiritual traditions? How does storytelling and reflecting on shared struggles lead to insights within the spiritual journey? And how ending an abusive sexual and spiritual relationship can lead to healing through new forms of intimacy. Healthy intimacy can be holy Resources https://mirabaistarr.com/