#SiblingsToo - Exploring the impacts of sibling sexual abuse

In this powerful and thought-provoking episode of the #SiblingsToo podcast, Decca Aitkenhead and host Nancy Morris delve into the underreported and deeply complex issue of sibling sexual abuse (SSA). The conversation provides an insightful exploration into Decca's journey to write a major article for The Sunday Times in the UK, addressing a subject that often goes unnoticed by the public and media alike. With a commitment to shedding light on this taboo topic, Decca and Nancy discuss the obstacles and responsibilities that come with bringing such personal, intimate stories to a wider audience. The episode reveals the troubling silence surrounding SSA in mainstream media and highlights the urgency of informing parents, families and, importantly, society about SSA and how it can impact all of our lives. Decca shares the emotionally charged process of listening to survivors' experiences, the challenges in reporting on a subject with significant legal and social implications, and the overarching goal of sparking a national dialogue that can no longer be ignored. Insightful, raw, and unwaveringly honest, these show notes invite readers to fully grasp the magnitude of the problem and the need for immediate attention and action. About the Guest: Decca Aitkenhead is an award-winning journalist known for her role as the chief interviewer of The Sunday Times in the UK. With a career spanning three decades, Aitkenhead has become one of the leading names in journalism, interviewing a diverse range of prominent figures from the fields of politics, sport, culture, media, and the arts. Her expertise and dedication to uncovering compelling human stories have positioned her as a respected voice in the British media landscape. Key Takeaways: The 'ick factor' and legal complexities contribute to the collective media silence on SSA. Parents and families must be aware of the dynamics within their household to prevent and address abuse. Survivors of SSA carry the emotional burden of their experiences, with disclosure often leading to a tumultuous yet liberating journey. The debate on terminology (perpetrator/victim versus child who harmed/child who was harmed) reflects the struggle to adequately frame and respond to SSA within society. Notable Quotes from Decca: "Even more crucially, you could argue you want parents of children in their care today to read this article and think, 'Christ, I mean, there's no reason to think that couldn't happen in our family. I should be paying attention'." "It's the absolute ick factor journalists don't want to cover this story. It's kind of grim. People don't want to think about it." "The product of the school of thought, which feels that we must recognize that they were all children, and to some extent, they're all victims, is that they don't want to use the word perpetrator and victim." "If one parent reads this and pays attention and it means that it doesn't happen to their kids, then maybe that really is the ultimate change in this situation." Resources: The Sunday Times article - www.thetimes.co.uhttps://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/revealed-the-hidden-crime-of-sibling-sexual-abuse-z05cf0l8r More on Decca - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decca_Aitkenhead Tune in to this significant episode of #SiblingsToo featuring Decca Aitkenhead, for a deep dive into sibling sexual abuse's harsh realities. Do not miss the full discussion for a comprehensive understanding and join us as we continue to bring light to these critical and pressing matters in upcoming content. Chapters: 0:01:25 Decca's motivation to write about sibling sexual abuse 0:04:49 Legal implications and challenges of reporting on sibling sexual abuse 0:07:11 The silence surrounding sibling sexual abuse speaks to societal stigma 0:11:11 Challenges faced by victims in telling their stories without a criminal conviction 0:16:27 The awareness and resources on sibling sexual abuse have increased in recent years, indicating a potential tipping point. 0:22:16 The process of researching for the article involved speaking with academics, professionals, and individuals with lived experience. 0:27:43 The privilege and responsibility of telling these stories 0:37:04 Parents need to be aware and talk about sibling sexual abuse. 0:43:25 Sibling sexual abuse should be seen as a public health issue, not just a criminal justice issue. 0:48:48 Simple steps parents can take to protect their children. 0:54:19 The potential impact of the article on survivors and their healing process

In this remarkable episode, we are joined by the brilliant Teagan McLaren who brings a profound sense of connection through her music. The conversation revolves around the liberation that comes from expressing ourselves and the encouragement Teagan's latest song provides to those who are navigating their own challenging experiences. The exchange highlights the transformative power of sharing our stories and the emotional resonance that music, like Teagan's, can deliver. From the rich conversations that led to the songwriting process to the meaningful interactions with fans, this episode dives into the making of Teagan's song "Breaking the Silence." Highlighting significant discussions around sibling sexual abuse (SSA) and the universal theme of overcoming trauma, the episode carries an inspiring message of hope and empowerment. Teagan's insights bring depth to the understanding of how music can be both a personal cathartic journey and a catalyst for broader societal awareness, encouraging us to voice our stories to enact change. Key Takeaways: - After meeting Teagan McLaren at a networking event in 2019, Nancy commissioned her to craft an uplifting song that would connect with and inspire listeners, especially those affected by sibling sexual abuse and other traumas. From that meeting came "Breaking the Silence" which captures personal narratives and the struggle to overcome silence. - Despite not having experienced sibling sexual abuse personally, Teagan drew from her own life traumas and empathic understanding to create a song that resonates. - The song's universal appeal lies in its ability to capture the essence of shared human experiences, encouraging listeners to break their silence and join a collective wave of awareness. - Teagan hopes the song will empower individuals to speak out, move forward from their past traumas, and realize that they are not alone in their experiences. In this episode: 0:00:00 Teagan wants people to feel connected and empowered by her song. 0:01:12 Nancy shares her first impression of Teagan's music and their initial meeting. 0:03:02 Nancy commissions Teagan to write a song for the #SiblingsToo podcast. 0:04:24 Teagan starts writing the song, focusing on the theme of breaking the silence. 0:09:33 The stop-start process of completing the song was beneficial for Teagan's songwriting. 0:11:47 Teagan's empathetic nature allows her to connect with the emotions of others' stories. 0:13:21 Teagan connects her personal experiences with trauma to Nancy's story 0:14:11 Nancy discusses the importance of breaking the silence and how it can help others 0:16:50 Teagan shares a story of a friend who opened up about their trauma after hearing the song 0:18:11 Nancy talks about the impact of the song and how it resonates with survivors of different traumas 0:20:06 Teagan expresses her struggle with performing the song live and finding the right delivery 0:23:32 Nancy praises the lyrics of the song, particularly verse three, and its message of letting go of self-blame 0:25:26 Teagan discusses the creative choices she made in the song to emphasize certain lyrics 0:26:04 Nancy discusses the commonality of trauma and the impact it has on individuals. 0:28:10 Nancy asks Teagan what she would like to see the song achieve. 0:29:07 Teagan hopes the song will encourage people to speak up about their experiences and seek support. 0:29:59 Nancy and Teagan discuss the importance of connecting with others through music and how it can help people feel less alone. 0:30:58 Teagan explains her approach to songwriting and how she aims to create songs that resonate with a wide audience. 0:32:33 Teagan shares a personal story about a song she wrote that had a different meaning for someone else, highlighting the power of interpretation. 0:35:10 Nancy expresses her appreciation for the song and how it helps her communicate her experiences to others, including her husband. 0:36:32 Teagan shares her hope that the song will resonate with and help others who have experienced trauma. 0:37:27 Nancy thanks Teagan for her work on the song and believes it will be well-received by her audience. 0:39:53 Breaking The Silence – full version Notable Quotes: - "It's so liberating to feel like you're not alone, to know that you're not alone." - Teagan McLaren - "It's all about breaking the silence about sibling sexual abuse." - Teagan reflecting the podcast host's mission - "I barely remember before the walls were built." - A key lyric capturing the impact of traumatic experiences - "I'm breaking the silence coming off of my island and joining in the rising tide." - Lyrics symbolizing the act of reaching out and healing - "Too long I blamed myself... nothing I could have done would have changed a thing." - Expressing a turning point of self-forgiveness in overcoming trauma Resources: - Teagan McLaren's website: [www.teaganmclaren.com](http://www.teaganmclaren.com) - Lyric video of Breaking the Silence on YouTube - https://youtu.be/ZA90ZNSpSwI?si=fOqmPhDXqglnSiiX About Teagan: Teagan McLaren is a talented singer-songwriter known for her heartfelt music and captivating melodies. With a knack for crafting songs that resonate with listeners' emotions, Teagan's original music often reflects the lived experiences of herself and those within her circle, including friends and family. She has a history of engaging audiences with not only her music but also the stories behind her compositions. Teagan's approach to songwriting demonstrates a deep level of empathy and understanding of various life experiences, giving her the ability to connect with her audience on a personal level. As an advocate for speaking up and addressing personal and societal issues through her art, Tegan's music embodies the powerful act of breaking the silence on difficult subjects. We encourage everyone to listen to the full episode to experience the full depth and impact of the conversation with Teagan McLaren. Stay tuned for more powerful and enlightening content from this series that sheds light on important issues and the healing power of sharing our stories. Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo 🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com 📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo ➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this revealing episode of SiblingsToo, Nancy Morris shines a light on the impacts of sibling sexual abuse on others in the family. Joined by Anais Van Vliet, a driven PhD candidate, they dissect the complexities surrounding non-abused, non-abuser siblings in environments marred by such trauma. Anais, blending her personal history and academic prowess, explores how these siblings navigate the tumultuous aftermath of abuse. Anais reveals that siblings, while not direct victims or perpetrators, also endure profound psychological impacts from the abuse occurring within their family unit. With meticulous research on behalf of these often silent witnesses, Anais strives to advocate for more inclusive services that address their unique healing journeys. Their work emphasizes the critical nature of the sibling bond throughout life and its potential role in fostering early disclosure, supporting survivors, and facilitating healing. Join us for the entirety of this powerful episode to uncover more about the unseen struggles and necessities of non-abused, non-abuser siblings in the wake of sexual abuse within families. Stay tuned to #SiblingsToo for more compelling discussions that bring to light crucial aspects of sibling sexual abuse and its impact on family dynamics. Key Takeaways: Sibling sexual abuse has far-reaching impacts, not only on the direct victims and perpetrators but also on other siblings within the family unit. Non-abused, non-abuser siblings may experience similar psychological outcomes to direct survivors, including guilt, shame, and trauma responses. These siblings exhibit unique support needs that are currently underserved by existing family-focused interventions in the wake of sexual abuse. The sibling relationship can play a protective role in the context of abuse, as siblings may contribute to early disclosure, interruption of abuse, or ongoing emotional support. There is a pressing need for research and advocacy to address the gaps in services for non-abused, non-abuser siblings and to ensure they are seen and heard within therapeutic environments. About Anais: Anais Van Vliet is a dedicated PhD candidate at McGill University with a focus on social work. They have a substantial background in clinical support, providing assistance for various life challenges. Anais underscores their professional expertise with personal motivation, being a sibling of intrafamilial child sexual abuse survivors. Their research delves into the experiences of non-abused, non-abuser siblings within these households. Complementing their personal insight, Anais' professional journey includes advocacy for often overlooked communities impacted by sexual violence, policy-oriented research, and the provision of clinical support and services. Professional bio and contact info Anaïs Van Vliet is a PhD candidate in Social Work at McGill university. Their doctoral research focuses on siblings of child sexual abuse survivors; their experiences and support needs surrounding sexual abuse in their family. This research is funded by the SSHRC Doctoral scholarship. More broadly, Van Vliet's academic research and social work practice centers on the voices of often forgotten victims of sexual and gender-based violence. They are currently looking for research and advocacy collaborations and can be reached at anais.cadieuxvanvliet@mcgill.ca. References: Link to Carmit Katz's bio Prof. Carmit Katz | The Bob Shapell School of Social Work (tau.ac.il) (https://en-socialwork.tau.ac.il/profile/carmitkatz) Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo 🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com 📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo ➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this episode Nancy is joined by Dr. Sophie King-Hill to discuss her creation of a mapping tool that is used to aid thinking for professionals while they plan for what interventions will be necessary for the families they are working with. Dr. Sophie King-Hill is an academic in the Health Services Management Centre at the University of Birmingham in the UK. Her research specialism encompasses sibling sexual abuse as well as sexual behaviours and first point assessment in children and young people. Sophie also has an interest in policy implementation, transfer and success frameworks and evaluation strategies. In this episode: The voice that is missing from the SSA conversation A mapping tool for Practitioners that need support Getting a deeper look at many levels Future goals for the mapping tool Upcoming research A shift is coming Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo 🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com 📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo ➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this episode Nancy is joined by John. John is in his fifties, lives in the United Kingdom and has recently reported incidents of sibling sexual abuse to the police where he lives. John is in the legal process so his voice and name has been altered to protect his anonymity. In this episode: Contacting the local police Off to a bad start but seeing progress The family dynamic growing up What happens if I speak out? The signs of abuse Having a safe space The next steps for John Have you registered for the #SiblingsToo Day event yet? What Every Parent Needs To Know About Sibling Sexual Abuse is on Saturday, 15 April 2023, across the globe www.SiblingsToo.com/events Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo 🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com 📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo ➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

The plans and video recordings for the upcoming #SiblingsToo day on 15 April are coming together. In this episode, Nancy shares further details of the event, the speakers, and some of the information every parent needs to know about sibling sexual abuse. For more information and to register, just go to www.SiblingsToo.com/events Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo 🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com 📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo ➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this episode Nancy is joined by Steve to give his perspective on what it is like to be the partner of a sibling sexual abuse survivor. Steve's partner is Jane Epstein. Jane is an SSA survivor, speaker, author, and advocate for the prevention of sibling and child-on-child sexual abuse and trauma. In this episode: Feeling disconnected Hearing the news that your wife was abused by her brother Working through the issues Riding the waves of emotions Growing as a partner and an individual Sometimes it can be a lot Having empathy Supporting a survivor Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo 🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com 📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo ➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story

In this episode Nancy is joined by Maria Socolof. Maria is a chronic pain researcher, author and a sibling sexual trauma survivor. In this episode: The onset of Maria's pain Say "I let go..." Learning about trauma and pain Feeling the mind-body connection Remembering the past Validation and knowing your truth The words we use are important Resources: https://healingfromchronicpain.com Would you like to support the #SiblingsToo Podcast --> buymeacoffee.com/siblingstoo 🖥 To connect with #SiblingsToo go to: Siblingstoo.com 📲 Facebook: fb.com/siblingstoo ➡️ Would you like to anonymously share your story of Sibling Sexual Abuse? Click Here ---> Share My Story