Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

Do you feel almost manic after really good sex — craving more, making impulsive decisions, fixating on the next time? In this episode of Reddit reactions, Cate and Jessamine tackle five real Reddit posts from ADHD women. Digging into some seriously NSFW posts, they look at why some people with ADHD never feel spontaneous sexual attraction — and why that might be about “out of sight, out of mind.” Also… The orgasm pressure problem: When a partner’s need for reassurance after sex gets in the way of intimacy. The sex countdown: The anxiety loop that starts the moment sex ends (“It’s been X days”). And how scheduling intimacy (not sex specifically) can interrupt it. Hyperfixation and libido: Does getting obsessively into a show, book, or research topic actually raise your sex drive? Real Reddit questions, really good answers.

Is ADHD self-diagnosis valid? According to clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer, that’s the wrong question entirely. When access to diagnosis is limited by cost, insurance, stigma, and identity — and when the people who self-diagnose show higher rates of negative self-image and internalized stigma — the real conversation isn’t about validity. It’s about how we make sure people have access to good information. Cate and Dr. Kilmer dig into what really happens when people research their own neurodivergence. They discuss research analyzing 452,000 Reddit posts that found self-diagnosed individuals seek more social validation. But they benefit less from it. They cover what actually happens in a clinical ADHD assessment and how comorbidities like anxiety, depression, and OCD complicate the picture. And they discuss why the question “Is self-diagnosis valid?” misses the point when getting a formal diagnosis is a privilege that many can’t access.

Laura Mears-Reynolds, founder of ADHDAF and an award-winning community organizer, joins Cate to talk about online communication, building connection, and staying in touch when you have ADHD. They dig into rejection sensitive dysphoria and miscommunication, object permanence with people, time blindness in relationships — and why online community can be genuinely life-saving. Plus: the great voice memo debate, and why your calendar reminder system for friends is not sociopathic.

As we know, Reddit is full of messy love stories, and we have thoughts. From gaslighting and age gaps to the weird magic of “new relationship energy,” we read posts that make us laugh, cringe, and wonder — can memory be used as a weapon in a relationship?

Have you ever stayed up all night replaying a meeting in your head? Or obsessed over an email? Or questioned every instinct you have? If making decisions feels like a full-time job, this one’s for you! We’re talking with Dr. Mark Schrime, a surgeon with a PhD in the science of decision-making. Hear about the exhausting cycle of analysis paralysis, second-guessing, and decision fatigue that’s a reality for many people with ADHD.

Ever catch yourself spiraling over a decision and feeling like your brain won’t stop replaying every possible “what if”? Dr. J is joining us to talk about rumination, overthinking, and getting caught in a mood spiral as a woman with ADHD. We’re breaking down why we get stuck and practical ways to interrupt those thought loops.

In this listener Q&A, Cate tackles two wildly relatable ADHD questions: sudden sensory discomfort during intimacy, and the maddening cycle of not being able to start a task… then not being able to stop. From sensory overload and burnout to hyperfocus, momentum anxiety, and emotional regulation, Cate breaks down what’s going on and how to navigate it without losing it. Thanks to our listeners for these deeply ADHD-coded questions! Keep ’em coming.

Ever said yes to sex a little too fast and regretted it later? Same. Today we’re joined by psychologist and Understood Expert Dr. Ari Tuckman for a candid talk about impulsivity, ADHD, and intimacy. We’ll dig into the messy mix of consent, shame, and emotional regulation. And we’ll talk about how to slow down, stay curious, and find self-compassion after a spicy decision.

In the final episode of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” three-part series, host Cate Osborn and Dr. Shauna Pollard explore what comes after burnout. They discuss how burnout can affect your relationships, the importance of communicating your needs clearly, and how to reflect on past experiences to avoid repeating patterns. Cate and Dr. Shauna also shares practical tips for tuning in to yourself, setting boundaries, and creating a plan for moving forward with greater awareness, balance, and resilience.

Feeling drained, unmotivated, or stuck in survival mode? In part one of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series, host Cate Osborn and psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard unpack the question: What is burnout? They explore the signs to watch for, how to recognize when you’re in it, and how it’s different from depression. If you’ve been wondering whether what you’re experiencing is burnout, this episode is a good place to start.

What if your money problems weren’t just about willpower, but about who you are? In this episode of Sorry, I Missed This, Cate chats with Ellyce Fulmore, financial educator and author of Keeping Finance Personal, about how who you are affects how you deal with money. We cover how things like ADHD, race, gender, and queerness all shape your money habits. Ellyce explains how to understand your own “money story” and why some advice doesn’t work for everyone. We also talk about what happens when someone with ADHD gets into a relationship and has to mix money with a partner.

Ever wondered if your therapist gets you, or if therapy is even working? You’re not alone. This week, Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer is back to unpack the complicated, sometimes confusing, always human relationship between therapist and client (especially when ADHD is in the mix). Host Cate Osborn and Elizabeth dig into how different types of therapy work, how to tell if therapy is actually helping, and what kinds of conversations are and aren’t fair game in the therapy room. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or reevaluating a long-term fit, this conversation will help you trust your instincts and advocate for what you need.

Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways. Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain.