Talkin about Midlife

What if the systems that have shaped our world for centuries aren't just political structures but are actually living in your body right now? In this rich conversation, I sit down with my dear friend Sasha Ostara, writer, coach and decolonisation educator, to explore how capitalism, white supremacy, patriarchy, and human supremacy don't just exist "out there"; they show up as chronic tension, hypervigilance, collapsed chests, shame, and the relentless hum of never-enough. Drawing on Sasha's viral blog post and Rupa Marya's book Inflame, we trace how colonisation becomes embodied and what it means to begin the slow, tender work of decolonising from the inside out. In this episode, we explore: The four "legs" of colonialism — human supremacy, white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism — and the distinct somatic signatures each one leaves in the body, Why decolonisation isn't just a political act, but an embodied one: the ideas that have lived in our nervous systems for generations can't be thought away, How white supremacy lands differently in different bodies, as hypervigilance, fear, shame, and disgust; and why those experiences are more interconnected than we often assume, The somatic cost of patriarchy: the tight throat, the collapsed chest, the learned habit of making ourselves smaller and policing our own voices to stay safe, Why men are often the first and most hidden victims of male supremacy; cut off from their own feeling, craving connection but conditioned to perform disconnection, Capitalism as extraction: how the "never enough" of consumerism mirrors the same extractive logic we apply to our bodies, our time, and our life force, What actually happens in the body when safety begins to return — and why healing often feels heavier before it feels lighter, The invitation to move from a mechanistic relationship with our bodies to an ecological one — drawing on Robin Wall Kimmerer's Braiding Sweetgrass and the concept of the Honourable Harvest. There's also a gorgeous thread on the gifts hidden inside perimenopause, the "hungry ghost" of consumerism, and why — as Sasha puts it — the moment we start seeing these systems clearly, we begin changing the paradigm for everyone around us. Find Sasha at: sasha-ostara.com, on instagram @sasha-ostara, tiktok, and facebook.

One of the most challenging aspects of midlife transition for many women is coming to terms with your own mortality and ageing. The paradigm is indeed different for men, there is more acceptance of the ageing man with grey hair. But for women, aside from menopause, there is great fear in ageing and becoming irrelevant. This largely has been perpetuated by the cosmetics industry and popular culture. How many role models of women ageing on their own terms do we see in the media, social media or television and films? In this podcast, I talk with Faith Agugu, psychotherapist and founder of Silver Sirens, an ageing positive community for women over 50+. We discuss why the traditional narrative around ageing for women is not only limiting but harmful to wisdoms self-esteem and well-being. When you embrace your second half of life with curiousity and confidence you are setting yourself up to live well. In the podcast we discuss: How the narrative we were told about ageing as a child greatly influences how we approach our own ageing process, How popular culture and media impacts how we feel about our bodies and mental health as we age, How fear drives increased stress in our lives in this transition and what is misunderstood about getting older, How there is a different paradigm of ageing for women than there is for men, How many women describe midlife as a time when old identities fall away—roles, ways of being, expectations. What we see as therapists of this transition emerge when women are supported through that transition well? The common myths Faith would love to dispel about ageing, How intergenerational wisdom around ageing can be passed down through family systems, What Faith believes is the most compassionate first step you can take as you approach both midlife or elderhood. You can find Faith through her therapy practice The Healing Process or her community group Silver Sirens or on instagram or Facebook.. @silversirens_redefiningageing

Caroline Shabaz is a colleague, mentor and friend who I am so happy to talk to today. She is a meta psychotherapist, who is deeply experienced and who has trained in many different therapeutic modalities. She is a Clinical Psychologist, has a masters degree in Depth Psychology, is trained in Family Constellations work, is a certified in providing psilocybin assisted therapy and has trained in many wisdom traditions and modalities. Caroline is also a member of the kink community and she trains other therapists how to work with Kink and BDSM. We talk about how relationships are crucibles for our transformation and growth throughout our lifetime. They trigger our core wounds so that we may heal and burn away who we think we are. We learn how to be in relationships through our family system and internalise much of this from our parents and caregivers, but we are born into a cultural narrative or story that shaped you and often our growth is about reclaiming part of that or alternatively it may be about letting go what we no longer need. You will also hear: Understanding the midlife narrative through the Jungian Lens. We also apply an astrological frame to it (Neptune square Neptune), How our hormones and the changing hormonal cocktail we have facilitates changes through our lifetime, Understanding the deeper architecture that drives the general level of dissatisfaction in midlife many of us experience, The Hero and Heroines Journey and how they are an archetypal framework for the many initiations we face in our lifetime, The concept of the Shadow and how it plays out in our relational life, The different alchemical stages of relationship transformation. Caroline runs a program called Transforming Relationships that is for couples and individuals who want to explore themselves deeply in a group container. You can find Caroline at Transformingrelationships.com.au or metapsychotherapy.com

Today I am talking to Moira Cormack, my multi talented colleague and friend about Human Design. I have to tell you this podcast was a lot of fun because Moira is fun. Moira is a coach, parenting expert, human design expert and all round super human being. This is Moira’s third time on my podcast, if you didn’t catch the last two on inner child and creativity you should check them out also. Moira doesn’t so much go into the different human design profile, rather she gives us the bigger context of why we would use Human Design. How does it help us be more human, how does it help us connect with our deeper self. We talked about: Why we would use Human Design and how, at this point in time, Human Design is helpful to people to further their personal growth and development, How life is made up of many decisions and choices we make each day and how human design helps us, through understanding our profile, how to better make decisions to align with our energy system in our body, How many of us end up in careers, influenced by our family systems, not doing what we really love. How energy systems in different types work and why not listening to our body leads to health issues, How when we move outside our design, we often experience a discordant note or emotion and this is a sign we are not listening to our body. You can find Moira on Gates of the Moon FB Group, on instagram she is @moira_coach and she has a substack she writes on.

Today I am talking with Gemma Donnellan who is an artist and art curator, a creator of community and a natural born network. Gemma has a gift of bringing people together around art. Gemma began her career as an artist which she has created over time whilst working full time and also being a stay at home parent. She has spent many years painting, in community, before moving back into a curatorial role, bringing emerging and established artists together in exhibitions. Gemma is skilled in how she pulls together different artists to curate art shows of diverse pieces of art that seem to have a common thread running through them that you can only work out once you have looked at all the paintings. She has created networks for women to come together around art in her quarterly sessions she calls Reciprocity, where ideas are shared, provocative conversations created around topics of interest. In the podcast we talked about: - Art as a support for all of us in tough times and the healing power of art, - We talked about the creativity that exists within all of us and expressed in our own unique ways, - The healing power of art and how we can express what sits deeply within us, bypassing the rational part of our brain and express from the deepest parts of ourselves, - How to choose art for your own personal collection. Whilst buying art can be overwhelming we don’t have to buy the most expensive piece but rather what speaks to us and evokes an emotional response. You can find Gemma at www.artfortoday.com.au, on instagram @artfortoday and facebook

Burnout is a complex health syndrome that we seem to be hearing more cases of everyday. I am seeing it more and more in workplaces and working with people moving trough big life transitions. So I have been deeply curious about it for the last couple of years and wanting to talk to a guest about it on my podcast. Who better to discuss than Dr Ashlea Broomfield - The Vitality Doctor. Dr Ash is a specialist GP, sexologist, Mind-Body Therapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Meditation Coach and Credentialed Eating Disorder Clinician. Dr Ash is invested in her patients health holistically, she is invested in supporting patients to flourish holistically as a whole person, mentally, physically, sexually and spiritually. Today we talked about Burnout. What is it? How does it come about? Is it a workplace issue or a cultural issue. Given the culture we live in how can we resource and nourish our bodies to ensure this doesn’t happen to us. We talked about the body as a whole system and that our health exists and is influenced by the environments that we exist within. We also discussed: - Women’s menstruality, their menarche, motherhood and menopause and how these big changes to our endocrine system and the roles that we take up in life impact our mental and physical health; - Chronic workplace stress that is not being managed well; - What the conditions are that set someone up for burnout, as defined by the world health organisation (WHO); - How the working conditions and the 40 hour work week were created 150 years ago when we had more community support for families and roles and expectations for parents were very different; - Burnout as a complex systemic issue and what are the solutions that we can put in place to solve it; - It starts with us as individuals being clear about our own limits and boundaries and learning to identify what a YES and NO feels like in our body. Dr Ash really has fantastic perspective on this so make sure you listen to the very end because there are some really wise words she has for all of us. If you would like to connect with Dr Ash you can find her at drashleabroomfield.com.au, on instagram @thevitalitydoctor. On facebook Dr Ashlea Broomfield - The Vitality Doctor.

Midlife is not a crisis it is an awakening. It is about healing your childhood adaptive strategies to become your most authentic self. The development challenge of midlife is radical honesty with yourself. There is a strong mystical side to the midlife transition and this can be best understood by using archetypes to explore the story and road map of what this transition is all about. What about menopause and how does this fit in? Menopause is the end of our fertility and it is part of the midlife transition. Our hormones changes facilitate growth and development, physically, psychologically, culturally through the different phases of our lifetime. Listen in to find out which feminine archetype I have found the most useful to provide guidance in what is required in midlife to support our growth during this transition. If you would like to explore the mystical side of midlife transition more deeply you can also explore my ebook Magical Midlife and Menopause and my Midlife Masterclasses.

How do we navigate life with self compassion? What is self-compassion? Today I welcome Belinda Haan to my podcast, Talkin' about Midlife, to talk about how we can navigate life with self-compassion. Belinda is a coach, teacher and facilitator and she works predominately with women who are becoming mothers. She is the creator of "Emotional Support for Mothers" - simple practice for difficult days. This toolkit is a thorough guide for simple exercises we can use when we are having a tough day. In this podcast Belinda and I have a great chat about what self-compassion means, why it is so hard for us to demonstrate it to ourselves, how we can learn to demonstrate it and how it supports us to thrive in life. We talk about our own journey with self compassion and how challenging it can be. Belinda shares many examples during the podcast of the ways we sabotage ourselves and how our inner critic can get in the way of accessing self compassion to support us in life. You can buy the Emotional support for mothers toolkit at www.thecompassionproject.au and you can find Belinda on instagram at @thecompassionproject.au

When it comes to midlife we often talk about the concept of ‘women stepping into their power”, what does this actually mean? Well in today’s episode I will unpack that with my friend and colleague Celine Levy. Celine is a Sex and Power coach who works with women to help them gain a sense of agency and connection with their bodies. Celine and I talk about power and how it is relational and what is actually happening in the neurobiology of the body when we are not in an ‘empowered’ stance; by the way we both really dislike the word empowered. Celine has a really interesting story and her path to this work, showed her that ‘power over’ another can be devastating, and how the cultural conditions in an environment can set us up for these experiences as we adapt to cultures to try and belong and feel safe. This close shave with a cult has propelled her forward into work with women so that they can learn to listen to their bodies through building a strong connection with their nervous system and the messages it sends. In this podcast we talk about: What power is, how it can only exist within a relationship and how the state of our nervous system drives our responses to what we are experiencing. How when we interact with another person there are two conversations going on at the same time. There is the conscious dialogue that comes through the mouth and at the same time our nervous system is having a conversation and when there is a mis-match between the two we notice this in particular ways. How we can rewire and re-pattern the nervous system to achieve a different outcome. How estrogen creates a biological behavioural drive for soothing, connection and accommodation and when in our post menopause life we don’t have those high estrogen levels, this impacts on our behavioural response. You can do all the fancy communication classes you want but if you don’t do the work on your autonomic nervous system you won’t get the result you are after. We all have a sense of deep knowing in our body. When we disconnect from our bodies we lose this connection. Reconnecting with our bodies builds reconnects us with our deep knowing. How our cultural conditioning impacts on our acceptance and willingness (often unconsciously) to demonstrate certain behaviours. How learning to hold the energy of sensation and emotion within the body, gives you more power and therefore more options in how you are able to choose to respond to what life throws your way. You can find Celine at www.celinelevy.com or on instagram at @thelovedwitch or her french language instagram account @sorcierotique

It has become more important than ever that organisations focus on developing their leaders to cope with the Volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) times that we work in. We have been talking about VUCA for the last 15 years, it has come and to be honest it is more dysfunctional than every as organisations struggle to deal with the many complex adaptive challenges that they are facing; coming off the back of the pandemic many organisations are simply drowning in these problems. Today I talk to my friend and colleague Deborah Pascoe who is a leadership development expert about how we develop these leaders and why it is important. Deb began her career in the corporate sector where she worked in a range of business roles before quitting in her thirties to work out what she really wanted to do. She fell into consulting by accident really and realised very quickly that it was her great love. Now thirty years later she has worked with many organisations from all different sectors and has a deep and broad understanding of leadership and adult development. This is a varied conversation where we talked about: why leadership development is so important and why organisations should invest in it, why collaborative problem solving is integral to solving adaptive challenges, How organisational purpose keeps us anchored in tough times and the ability to articulate our organisational purpose is the single biggest driver of employee engagement, How our individual north star helps us to navigate the intracacies of life when we lose our way, Why people get stuck in the personal development and how learning trauma stops us from pursuing growth on a personal and professional level, What the learning cycle of the brain is, the dopamine-opioid cycle and we we can hook into that we can keep on learning and growing throughout our life. You can find Deb at Phronesis Foundation.

Midlife is a time that tend to show up the vulnerabilities in our bodymind. We experience these as physical or mental health issues, challenges in relationships and sometimes just a really strong needs to make some big changes in our lives. In this episode I am joined by Dr Beth Claxton to talk about wellbeing in midlife and beyond. Beth is a board certified OBGYN and a certified functional medicine practitioner who reside in Northern Arizona in the USA. In this episode we talk about many aspects of our health and wellbeing in midlife. We talk about Beth’s own midlife transition and how it has brought her full circle with the desires she had at a very young age to work in a healing role of some capacity. Beth has always had a strong sense of inner knowledge that healing has been a pathway for her. In the podcast we cover: Beth’s experience in healing and where it can be most powerful, They key areas to focus on in midlife for your overall wellbeing, Stress Management, Sleep, Exercise and Food and explore each of those, We talk a little about MHT/HRT and how it can support your health and welbeing, The work Beth offers now in her functional medicine practice such as her 10 week Ayurvedic course and how it offers us a different perspective through which we can connect with our bodymind and Beth’s upcoming Detoxifying Menopause summit that is coming up. During the podcast we talked about Athletic training for perimenopause women and the reference Beth mentioned was Athlete Project 51, which is information about how women can train for their own physiology. You can find Beth at www.flagstafffunctionalmedicine.com on instagram and she has a facebook group is Flagstaff Functional Medicine

I recently went to see the Barbie movie and loved it. There were so many great messages in there and the dealt with what are extremely complex cultural messages and phenomena in a way that was digestible for even the youngest members of the audience. So today I wanted to reflect on those messages and points and unpack the patriarchy a little bit and how it impacts all of us and share some stories of my own about how I have seen how patriarchy gets in the way of women mentoring and supporting each other. Of loving and complimenting each other, of being able to brag and cheer for each other. This is where the bucket of frogs story comes in. Sisterhood wounding is a real thing and many women suffer from it. Healing it can be a great gift you can give yourself.