That's Where I'm At

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Lyndsey Hackford, a domestic violence survivor, advocate, and host of the podcast Living in the Aftermath. After enduring years of coercive control and abuse that began at just 16 years old, shaped by her strict Mormon upbringing, Lyndsey now uses her voice to shed light on the psychological realities of abuse and why leaving is often far more complex than it seems. Lyndsey shares how her abuser used subtle manipulation to isolate her from dance, family, and her sense of independence, along with the darkest moments of her experience and the challenges she faced within the justice system. Drawing from both lived experience and her advocacy work, she now helps others understand trauma, reclaim their identity, and find meaning and purpose after abuse. Together, Laura and Lyndsey explore the long-term impact of coercive control, the complexities of healing, and the importance of creating honest, supportive spaces for survivors. Through her podcast Living in the Aftermath and her advocacy, Lyndsey continues to educate, empower, and amplify the voices of those navigating life after abuse. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction (00:01:25) Laura introduces her guest, Lyndsey Hackford, a survivor, advocate, and host of the "Living in the Aftermath" podcast. Meeting the Abuser (00:02:46) Lyndsey shares that she met her abusive ex-partner at the young and naive age of sixteen. Upbringing and Religious Background (00:03:19) Lyndsey describes her strict Mormon upbringing, which taught her to be subservient and not question male authority. Early Isolation Tactics (00:04:58) Lyndsey's abuser convinced her to quit competitive dance, a lifelong passion, framing it as a way to gain independence. The Subtlety of Control (00:07:12) Lyndsey explains how her ex's manipulation didn't seem like isolation at the time, but rather like supportive encouragement. Questioning Authority (00:07:57) Lyndsey and Laura discuss being labeled "difficult" as children for asking questions, especially within high-control religious environments. The Dynamics of Isolation (00:11:30) Lyndsey describes how her ex made family events so uncomfortable that she chose to cut off contact with her family. The Burden of Managing an Abuser (00:15:09) The hosts discuss the exhausting and impossible task of managing an abuser's emotions and making them feel comfortable. Life After Abuse (00:18:46) Lyndsey and Laura talk about the overwhelming but exciting process of rediscovering their own identities after leaving their relationships. Emotional vs. Physical Abuse (00:22:02) Lyndsey emphasizes that the emotional abuse she endured for years was often harder to process than the physical violence. Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive (00:23:56) The hosts discuss the unique and complex grief of mourning a relationship with an abuser who is still living. A Violent Attack (00:27:29) Lyndsey recounts a brutal physical assault where her ex threw her onto concrete, resulting in a serious head injury. The Danger of Leaving (00:30:05) Lyndsey explains why leaving is the most dangerous time for a survivor, using her own story as a powerful example. The Abuser's Childhood (00:35:38) Lyndsey explains how her ex's traumatic childhood, including being given up by his birth father, shaped his abusive behavior. The First Arrest (00:37:17) Lyndsey details the confusing events leading to her ex's first arrest, which he initiated by calling the police himself. The Aftermath and Final Outcome (00:41:52) Lyndsey shares the journey through the legal system, the divorce, and how her ex eventually gave up parental rights. Becoming an Advocate (00:47:22) Lyndsey explains how she found purpose by sharing her story, speaking at high schools, and starting her own podcast. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Lyndsey, 'The moment you realize that you're not responsible for that other person that you will never please, it is the most relieving feeling on the planet.' Lyndsey, 'I still believe to this day that the emotional stuff I went through was so much harder than anything physical I went through, and I suffered that for so much longer, but didn't even realize it.' Lyndsey, 'It did feel like I was grieving my relationship with him as I was in it, because it felt like I didn't know the person that I was with.' Lyndsey, 'There were so many things that I questioned and I'm like, "Was that real? Did that really happen to me?"' Lyndsey, 'I knew very early on that if I didn't find a purpose for my trauma, it was going to destroy me because it doesn't go away.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 LISTEN TO MY INTERVIEW ON LYNDSEY'S PODCAST: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1PXIffZjG9IkeKJNF7hIvI?si=dO2EDoR4R2GyNtg8qTeKhQ FOLLOW LYNDSEY: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lyndseyh6723/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@livingintheaftermath Lyndsey's Story: Beyond The Monsters Part 1: https://youtu.be/GZMoAHaTEmc?si=UHZt9HkRJAM7y7I- Beyond The Monsters Part 2: https://youtu.be/oJx5xraQuk8?si=uSjYf-G6xeTq0YZN The Rollercoaster Podcast: https://youtu.be/S-D6vhXsWiA?si=wZV5VABaK-mlUVrS "Healing begins the moment you realize their control was never your responsibility—and your life is still yours to reclaim." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Michelle Jewsbury, founder and CEO of Unsilenced Voices, internationally recognized speaker, coach, and survivor of domestic abuse. Michelle is known for helping individuals transform their personal stories into powerful narratives, using her own journey of breaking the cycle of abuse to inspire others to create impact and purpose from their pain. Michelle shares her harrowing experience with a violent, controlling partner, detailing the early red flags, escalating abuse, and her eventual escape. She opens up about how she transformed her trauma into advocacy through writing, performing a solo play, and launching global programs that support survivors in West Africa. As the driving force behind Unsilenced Voices, Michelle now works with individuals, entrepreneurs, and organizations to harness the power of storytelling for healing and growth. Throughout the conversation, Michelle emphasizes the importance of speaking out, seeking support, and finding community. This episode delivers a powerful message of hope, resilience, and empowerment for survivors ready to reclaim their voice and rewrite their story. Key Topics & Timestamps Michelle's Background & Abusive Relationship (00:03:31) Michelle shares her upbringing, move to Hollywood, and meeting her abusive partner. Early Red Flags & Control (00:04:49) Michelle describes early signs of control and manipulation in her relationship. Hope After Abuse & Unlearning Patterns (00:06:08) Michelle and Laura discuss hope for healthy relationships and the need to unlearn toxic patterns. First Incident of Physical Violence (00:07:27) Michelle recounts the first act of physical violence and her initial reaction. Documenting Her Story & Founding UnSilenced Voices (00:07:58) Michelle explains how documenting her experience led to a play, memoir, and founding her nonprofit. Suing Her Abuser & Regaining Her Voice (00:08:54) Michelle details suing her abuser for financial and emotional damages and the empowerment it brought. The Importance of Speaking Out (00:10:12) Laura and Michelle discuss the stigma of talking about abuse and the importance of breaking silence. Leaving an Abusive Relationship (00:11:34) Both share the difficulty and commonality of multiple attempts to leave abusive partners. Escalation of Abuse & Final Break (00:12:24) Michelle describes escalating violence, infidelity, and what finally gave her the strength to leave. Therapy & Finding Her Voice (00:14:24) Laura and Michelle discuss therapy's role in healing and reclaiming self-worth. Life After Abuse & Small Wins (00:16:10) They reflect on the freedom and small victories experienced after leaving abuse. Recognizing Emotional Abuse (00:19:03) Laura discusses realizing emotional abuse through journaling and family patterns. Who Michelle Helps & Her Programs (00:19:59) Michelle explains her nonprofit and for-profit work, including programs in Sierra Leone and coaching survivors. Why Sierra Leone? (00:24:10) Michelle shares how she was called to work in Africa and the origins of her nonprofit's international focus. The Power of Sharing Your Story (00:26:46) Michelle encourages listeners to share their stories to help others and create change. Healing Modalities & Performing Her Story (00:28:30) Michelle describes how writing, performing, and speaking publicly contributed to her healing. Dealing with Naysayers & Victim Blaming (00:30:33) They discuss negative reactions, victim blaming, and the importance of supportive communities. Support Systems & Cultural Barriers (00:32:41) Michelle talks about losing friends during abuse, the need for supportive people, and cultural challenges in addressing abuse. Encouragement & Final Advice (00:37:03) Michelle and Laura offer encouragement to keep going, referencing "just keep swimming" from Finding Nemo. Powerful Quotes from the Episode 'Michelle, 'I started to really accept that this happened, but it doesn't have to define me.' 'Michelle, 'What I did get from this is my voice back. So when I got my voice back after four years of a lawsuit, it made me feel empowered that I could accomplish all of this.' 'Michelle, 'When you're out of those situations, the prosperity that you actually get, not just financially but for your soul, is incredible.' 'Michelle, 'Our stories are not just for us. Our stories are to help other people.' 'Michelle, 'If you feel trapped, if you are stuck, if you've escaped and you're still in this turmoil of why didn't it work, I want you to know to just keep swimming, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't give up. Do not give up because it will get better, I promise you that.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW MICHELLE: WEBSITE: https://www.michellejewsbury.com/ https://unsilencedvoices.org/ "Silence protects the pain—your voice creates change." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura shares her personal journey of healing after divorcing a narcissist. She explains the psychological and chemical roots of trauma bonding, the confusing emotions survivors face, and the challenges of breaking free. Laura offers practical steps for recovery, including going no contact, journaling, rebuilding identity, seeking support, and trauma-informed therapy. She emphasizes self-compassion and patience, reassuring listeners that healing is possible and encouraging them to reclaim their lives. Laura closes by inviting listeners to join her supportive community and reminding them they are not alone in their recovery. Key Topics & Timestamps Purpose of the Podcast & Sharing Stories (00:00:31) Emphasizes the importance of sharing difficult stories for collective healing, especially for women. Trigger Warning (00:01:13) Brief warning about potentially triggering content in the episode. Understanding Trauma Bonding (00:01:21) Laura describes her conflicting feelings after leaving her marriage and introduces the concept of trauma bonding. Personal Experience with Trauma Bond (00:02:31) Shares her emotional struggle post-divorce and the confusion of loving and hating her abuser. Intermittent Reinforcement & Abuse Dynamics (00:03:30) Explains how abusers use intermittent reinforcement to keep victims attached and feeling small. Shame and Staying Too Long (00:05:59) Discusses the shame survivors feel for staying and the psychological manipulation that keeps them in abusive relationships. Chemical Basis of Trauma Bond (00:06:59) Explains the brain chemistry behind trauma bonds and the need to rebuild positive chemicals after leaving. The Good Memory Trap (00:08:14) Warns against idealizing isolated good moments in abusive relationships and describes ongoing hypervigilance. Addiction to Hope & Beginning Healing (00:09:23) Clarifies that survivors are addicted to hope, not the abuser, and introduces the first healing steps. No Contact Rule (00:10:41) Stresses the importance of going no contact to break the trauma bond and protect oneself from manipulation. Practical Steps for No Contact (00:11:41) Shares her personal approach to no contact, including blocking on social media and handling mutual friends. No Contact in Co-Parenting & Boundaries (00:12:46) Advises on maintaining boundaries and low contact when full no contact isn't possible, especially with children. No Contact is Survival, Not Cruelty (00:13:49) Explains why staying friends with a narcissist is dangerous and reinforces that no contact is about survival. Journaling for Clarity (00:14:59) Recommends journaling to document abuse, validate experiences, and avoid romanticizing the past. Reconnecting with Identity & Dreams (00:16:02) Encourages rediscovering passions and rebuilding identity lost during the abusive relationship. Building a Support System (00:18:09) Highlights the importance of finding supportive communities and professionals for healing. Trauma-Informed Therapy & Somatic Healing (00:19:19) Advocates for trauma-informed therapy and somatic practices to heal both mind and body. Self-Compassion & Patience in Healing (00:20:44) Emphasizes self-kindness, patience, and the gradual nature of recovery from abuse. Breaking the Inner Voice of the Narcissist (00:22:05) Describes the process of reclaiming one's own thoughts and voice after leaving abuse. Encouragement & Final Thoughts (00:23:10) Offers reassurance about the healing journey, normalizes setbacks, and encourages persistence. Powerful Quotes from the Episode 'I also didn't know until I started to understand some things that you can actually have two opposing thoughts. You can actually hate somebody and love somebody at the same time.' 'So remember that you weren't addicted to him. You were addicted to the hope of the person he pretended to be.' 'No contact is not cruelty. It is survival.' 'You hating him and missing him at the same time does not make you weak. It makes you human.' 'The confusion is not a sign that you made a mistake leaving. It's a sign of how deep the bond went.' RESOURCES: GRAB THE TRAUMA BOND ACTION GUIDE: https://laurarichpodcast.systeme.io/trauma-bond COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 "You weren't addicted to the person—you were holding on to the hope. Healing begins when you choose yourself over that illusion." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura welcomes Trish Lynn, a life coach and identity recalibration mentor who helps women rebuild their internal operating system after trauma, toxic dynamics, and years of self-silencing. After leaving a 16-year narcissistic relationship, Trish rebuilt her voice, regulated her nervous system, and redefined her identity from the inside out. Today, she guides women in healing their self-concept, reclaiming their voices, and becoming the version of themselves who can be seen, heard, and fully expressed without collapsing. In this powerful conversation, Laura and Trish discuss the journey from victimhood to empowerment, exploring the challenges of rebuilding self-esteem, setting boundaries, and rediscovering identity after leaving toxic relationships. As a single mom and survivor of narcissistic abuse, Trish shares personal insights about healing, parenting, and overcoming self-doubt, while offering practical guidance for women ready to reclaim their confidence and rebuild their lives. The episode highlights the importance of self-care, nervous system healing, community, and authenticity in the recovery process, offering hope and actionable insights for listeners on their own path to healing and empowerment. Key Topics & Timestamps Guest Introduction: Trish Lynn (00:01:23) Trish's background as a single mom, survivor, and content marketing strategist for women recovering from toxic relationships. Why Trish Chose Her Niche (00:02:20) Trish explains how her own experience with abuse influenced her business focus. Impact of Abuse on Business & Self-Esteem (00:02:58) Laura and Trish discuss how toxic relationships undermine confidence and business success. Regaining Voice & Authenticity Online (00:03:42) The struggle to express oneself authentically after abuse and the importance of self-trust in content creation. Dealing with Criticism & Perception (00:06:12) Handling negative feedback online and learning not to internalize others' perceptions. Teaching Self-Worth & Boundaries (00:08:47) Helping women rebuild self-worth, set boundaries, and value their work after toxic relationships. Overcoming Sabotage & Brain Fog (00:15:35) Trish shares how her ex sabotaged her business and the challenges of parenting and working during abuse. Holistic Healing: Nutrition & Self-Care (00:18:43) Trish's holistic approach, including nutrition and self-care, to support healing and business growth. Parenting & Breaking Generational Patterns (00:24:47) Teaching children healthy boundaries and breaking cycles of abuse for future generations. Reactive Abuse & Healing with Children (00:28:16) Discussing reactive rage, apologizing to children, and mutual healing after leaving abuse. Narcissists' Lack of Accountability (00:36:25) Red flags: abusers never take responsibility for problems in any area of life. Public vs. Private Persona of Abusers (00:37:19) How covert narcissists appear charming in public but are abusive at home. Rest, Self-Compassion, and Nervous System Healing (00:39:37) The importance of rest, self-compassion, and nervous system regulation after leaving abuse. Rediscovering Joy & Self-Care Rituals (00:41:02) Finding happiness, daily rituals, and self-care as part of rebuilding life and business. Overcoming Guilt & Building a Business Post-Abuse (00:42:14) Letting go of guilt, making bold moves, and growing a business as a single mom. Money Mindset & Leaving Despite Financial Fears (00:43:46) Shifting money mindset, setting intentions, and leaving toxic relationships even with little or no money. Knowing When You're Done & Taking the Leap (00:46:04) Recognizing the moment you're truly done and ready to leave, regardless of circumstances. Helping Complete Beginners Start Businesses (00:47:15) Trish supports women at all stages, including those starting from scratch. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Trish, 'For so long, I wasn't allowed to have an opinion. If I had an opinion that was my own, it was the wrong opinion for sure.' Trish, 'Energetically, I didn't have the capacity to be in that relationship and grow my business. I was walking on eggshells every day.' Trish, 'I sat for a moment and I'm like, I failed. My biggest thought was I failed my kids, and now I'm like, no, I didn't, because they are seeing something so much better and I am their safe space.' Trish, 'I am breaking these patterns so that my little girl does not grow up thinking this is how we are treated. And my boys, I do not want them to grow up thinking this is how we treat women.' Trish, 'Having the compassion for yourself to take the rest when you need the rest, because coming out of it, your body needs that time to heal.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW TRISH: WEBSITE: www.thetrishlynn.com/programs INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thetrishlynn FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/trish.lynn.527777 Self-Mastery & Money Reset: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1euBmBbNx26S4ya5qLR26DNGid_LymZHcCreoo7lfxVQ/edit?usp=sharing "Your past may explain your story, but it doesn't have to define your future—you have the power to rebuild, reclaim your voice, and create a life that feels like your own." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Vanessa Kavulish, a business strategist, speaker, entrepreneur, and founder of VK Growth Consulting. Vanessa helps founders scale their businesses with clarity and alignment—without losing themselves in the process. Having advised and coached hundreds of entrepreneurs, and as the founder of Benefit Bar, an elevated eco-friendly event brand known for exceptional execution and unforgettable experiences, Vanessa brings both strategic expertise and lived insight into sustainable growth and authentic leadership. In this empowering conversation, Vanessa shares her personal journey from seeking external validation to trusting her intuition, setting strong boundaries, and prioritizing self-respect. She and Laura explore the impact of societal conditioning, the importance of rest, and how relationships evolve as women step into their true selves. Vanessa also offers practical guidance on building confidence, strengthening self-trust, and growing both personally and professionally without sacrificing well-being. This episode is a powerful reminder that true success comes from alignment, authenticity, and honoring who you are becoming. Key Topics & Timestamps Content Warning (00:01:16) A brief warning about potentially triggering subjects in the episode. Guest Introduction: Vanessa the Empowerment Coach (00:01:25) Laura introduces Vanessa, her background, and her work as an empowerment coach. Vanessa's Journey: Overachieving & Seeking Validation (00:02:15) Vanessa shares her upbringing, need for external validation, and how it led to her career and eventual unhappiness. Breaking Free from Others' Expectations (00:04:18) Discussion about filtering advice from well-meaning people and learning to trust your own path. Weeding Out External Voices & Self-Trust (00:07:22) The process of identifying which internal voices are truly your own and learning self-trust. Reframing Self-Validation & Self-Respect (00:08:02) Vanessa explains the importance of self-respect and treating yourself as your own best friend. Vanessa's Epiphanies & Empowerment (00:09:25) Vanessa shares how self-trust led to empowerment, new opportunities, and the start of her coaching journey. Coaching Focus: Women & Setting Boundaries (00:12:38) Vanessa explains her focus on coaching women and the importance of practicing saying no and setting boundaries. Self-Reflection: Judging Others & Internal Beliefs (00:17:28) Vanessa discusses how our judgments of others reflect our own internal struggles with boundaries. Learning Boundaries Through Experience (00:18:34) Laura shares her personal journey of discovering boundaries and the challenges of asserting them. Levels of Boundaries: With Others & Self (00:20:15) Vanessa explains that boundaries exist on many levels, including with oneself, and shares her own experiences. Rest, Burnout, and Permission to Slow Down (00:21:12) Discussion about the importance of rest, recognizing burnout, and giving yourself permission to take breaks. Losing & Gaining Relationships During Growth (00:26:29) Discussion on how healing and setting boundaries can lead to losing some relationships but making space for new, supportive ones. Normalizing Change in Social Circles (00:30:02) Vanessa normalizes the cycling of people in and out of our lives as we grow and change. Coping with the Pain of Losing Connections (00:31:20) Acknowledging the emotional difficulty of losing close connections during personal transformation. Final Thoughts: Trusting Your Authentic Self (00:32:40) Vanessa's closing advice to trust yourself, embrace your authentic self, and reconnect with your inner child. Being Yourself Attracts Your Tribe (00:34:12) Laura and Vanessa discuss how authenticity and humor help attract like-minded people and foster healing. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Vanessa, 'We have to learn to trust ourselves before we trust anybody else.' Vanessa, 'The person you have from the moment you're born until the moment you die is you, so you really have to learn how to be your best friend.' Laura, 'The ultimate act of self-love for me was learning how to set boundaries.' Vanessa, 'You have to give yourself permission to slow down, because we can't pour from an empty cup.' Vanessa, 'The key is just trusting yourself and leaning into who you are.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW VANESSA: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vanessa.kavulish Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vkgrowthconsulting/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@coach_ness Website: www.vanessakavulish.com "Self-trust is the foundation of every boundary, every decision, and every aligned life." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with Alana Sharps, founder of SurThrive Tribe, a High Conflict Divorce and Child Custody Consultant, and Best Selling Author. Alana's work is deeply rooted in both professional expertise and lived experience. After navigating a toxic marriage marked by psychological abuse, she transformed her own pain into purpose—emerging as an empowered survivor and a dedicated advocate for others facing similar challenges. Alana shares her personal journey through a psychologically abusive marriage with a covert narcissist, the realities of high-conflict divorce and child custody battles, and the ongoing impact of post-separation abuse. Together, she and Laura discuss the importance of trauma-informed therapy, rebuilding self-worth, and the role of community support in healing. Inspired by her own experiences, Alana explains how she now helps others navigate the complex and often overwhelming landscape of high-conflict divorce. This episode offers hope, practical guidance, and valuable resources for anyone facing similar circumstances. Key Topics & Timestamps Alana's Timeline: Leaving and Helping Others (00:02:22) Alana shares when she left her marriage (2018) and began helping others (2021). Realizing the Abuse and Awakening (00:02:59) Discussion about recognizing narcissistic abuse and the awakening process after leaving. Therapy and Dismissing Early Warnings (00:04:08) Alana recalls dismissing her therapist's warning about narcissism during her marriage. Love Bombing and Early Relationship Red Flags (00:07:47) Alana describes meeting her ex, early boundary-pushing, and the love bombing phase. Rapid Relationship Progression (00:10:35) The relationship moved quickly: moving in, engagement, and marriage within a year. Cycle of Abuse and Trying to Fix Things (00:14:22) Alana discusses the cycle of trying to regain the "good times" and the reality of abuse. Parenting and Control Over Children (00:18:09) Alana describes her ex's controlling behavior with their children, especially her daughter. Leaving After Witnessing Abuse (00:21:27) Alana decided to leave after witnessing her ex assault her son, prioritizing her children's safety. Supporting Others: Safety Planning (00:22:30) Alana explains how she supports clients, especially around safety planning when leaving abuse. Predictable Abuser Tactics in Court (00:25:36) Alana describes common legal tactics used by abusers, including false accusations and parental alienation. Therapy Challenges with Narcissists (00:27:29) The difficulties and ineffectiveness of couples counseling with narcissists are discussed. Financial Abuse and Hiding Assets (00:32:23) Discussion about financial manipulation and hiding assets during divorce. Becoming a High Conflict Divorce Coach (00:33:58) Alana's journey to becoming a certified high conflict divorce and child custody coach. EMDR and Healing from Trauma (00:37:34) Alana shares her experience with EMDR therapy for complex PTSD and managing triggers. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Alana, 'I wanted to be the person I needed when I was going through my divorce and child custody cases, because it's the worst feeling in the world to be scared you'll lose custody of your children.' Alana, 'In public, he was the perfect father and spouse, but behind closed doors, our family was tormented.' Alana, 'On our wedding night, he flipped out on me and continued to treat me badly on our honeymoon, and I was so confused.' Alana, 'When I saw him assault my oldest son, the light bulb went off and I knew the kids were not safe and I needed to leave.' Alana, 'When you share children, that's the last piece of control an abuser has over you, because now they can use the legal system to control you.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW ALANA: Your website link: https://www.surthrivetribe.com/ Instagram Link: https://www.instagram.com/alanasharps/ Freebie: https://kvisit.com/T89MH Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alanasharps Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/alanasharpsauthor Was It My Fault Book: https://a.co/d/4f7jZ1f From the episode: Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a condition resulting from prolonged, repeated trauma (like ongoing abuse or captivity) that includes standard PTSD symptoms (flashbacks, avoidance) plus core difficulties in emotional regulation, self-perception (worthlessness, shame), and relationships (mistrust, isolation). It's often linked to childhood trauma, but can affect adults, differing from PTSD by its chronic cause and added disturbances in identity and connection with others. EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a psychotherapy that helps people heal from trauma and distressing life events by reprocessing painful memories using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements, taps, or sounds) while focusing on the memory, reducing its emotional impact and helping the brain process it more adaptively. Developed by Francine Shapiro, it's recognized by organizations like the WHO and APA as an effective treatment for PTSD, anxiety, and other conditions stemming from unprocessed past experiences. "Awareness is the first step from surviving abuse to reclaiming your power." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura interviews Lynda Sunshine West, who shares her journey from a traumatic childhood to personal transformation. Lynda recounts running away from home at age five, overcoming years of fear and low self-worth, and breaking through one fear every day for a year. Her story highlights healing from past trauma, building healthy relationships, and finding purpose as a bestselling author and book publisher. The conversation offers hope and practical tools for women seeking to overcome fear, embrace self-acceptance, and create a fulfilling, authentic life. Key Topics & Timestamps Origin of the Name "Sunshine" (00:03:16) Lynda explains how she adopted the name "Sunshine" during her year of breaking through fears. Running Away at Age Five (00:04:31) Lynda recounts running away from home at age five and the emotional impact it had on her life. Childhood Family Dynamics & Self-Worth (00:06:53) Discussion of Lynda's family environment, feelings of neglect, and how these shaped her self-worth. Personal Growth & Marital Challenges (00:15:39) Lynda shares how personal growth affected her marriage and her husband's reaction to her transformation. Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse (00:18:59) Laura discusses gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, and her book on reclaiming self-worth. Catalyst for Change at Age 51 (00:28:18) Lynda describes the breaking point in her career and the decision to hire a life coach. The Power of Choice & Self-Discovery (00:33:22) Discussion on human choice, self-discovery, and the importance of making life changes at any age. Marriage, Support, and Tough Love (00:34:36) Lynda shares a story about her husband's tough love regarding her health and the lessons learned. Breaking Through Fear: The 365-Day Challenge (00:40:32) Lynda details her year-long challenge to break through one fear every day and its impact. The Fear of Judgment & People-Pleasing (00:43:32) Lynda identifies fear of judgment as the root of many of her fears and how she overcame it. Seven Simple Steps to Break Through Fear (00:45:55) Lynda introduces her seven-step method for overcoming fear and explains its logic. Becoming a Book Publisher (00:50:19) Lynda shares how her journey led her to become a book publisher and help others share their stories. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Lynda, 'At five years old, gone a week, nobody came to get me. That belief was established: they didn't come because they didn't love me or want me around.' Lynda, 'I believed I was stupid because he told me this every single day. I believed I was ignorant. I believed nobody liked me and that people were only nice to me because they felt sorry for me.' Lynda, 'I hate my life. I hate everything I'm doing. I hate this job. Why am I doing this? Why am I here on this planet? What's my purpose?' Lynda, 'I didn't know I was in the dark until I was in the light. I was in the dark for 51 years.' Lynda, 'I have so many fears that are stopping me from living my life. I'm going to break through one fear every day this year.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 Connect with Lynda Facebook: https://facebook.com/lyndasunshinewest Instagram: https://instagram.com/lyndasunshinewest TikTok: https://tiktok.com/lyndasunshinewest YouTube: https://youtube.com/@actiontakerspublishing Website: https://actiontakerspublishing.com Download a free copy of Lynda's book, Do It BECAUSE You're Scared, at https://actiontakerspublishing.com/doit, and break through the fears that are holding you back. "Courage isn't the absence of fear — it's choosing to move anyway." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura welcomes Beth M. Jones—an International Speaker, Author of 30 books, and podcaster. Beth is the wife of fire chief Ray, mom to three beautiful daughters (Heather, Eden, and Leah), and has two adorable cats. She helps women step out of fear into faith by sharing her story and the freedom we have in Jesus. Beth believes we should dream big because we serve a big God! Beth shares her powerful journey from childhood abuse and toxic relationships to healing and faith. She discusses overcoming trauma, recognizing red flags in abusive relationships, and the importance of self-worth and support. Drawing on her own experiences and faith in Jesus, Beth encourages women to step out of fear and embrace their unique purpose. The episode offers hope, practical insights, and resources for women seeking freedom and transformation. Key Topics & Timestamps Beth's Motivation to Help Women (00:02:47) Beth explains how her childhood experiences inspired her to help women step out of fear into faith. Cinderella as a Metaphor for Unique Purpose (00:04:02) Beth discusses her connection to Cinderella, relating it to abuse and dreaming big. Beth's Childhood Abuse and Early Escape (00:05:03) Beth shares her experiences of childhood abuse and her desire to leave home as a teenager. Short-Lived First Marriage and Divorce (00:08:08) Beth talks about her brief first marriage, the birth of her daughter, and eventual separation. Post-Divorce Partying and Delayed Healing (00:11:13) Beth admits to partying and not focusing on self-improvement until much later in life. Journalism Career and Second Marriage (00:12:28) Beth describes her journalism internship, meeting her second husband, and his initial charm. Escalating Abuse and Financial Dependence (00:22:07) Beth describes the onset of her husband's temper, walking on eggshells, and feeling trapped financially. Physical Abuse Toward Beth's Daughter (00:28:26) Beth recounts her husband's violence toward her daughter, a medical emergency, and moving to escape. Trauma Bonding and Self-Doubt (00:35:06) Beth and Laura discuss trauma bonding, self-esteem issues, and the difficulty of breaking free from abuse. Beginning the Healing Journey (00:36:41) Beth starts counseling after her husband leaves, experiences panic attacks, and begins healing with her daughter. Therapy, Journaling, and Recovery (00:38:04) Beth describes the impact of therapy, journaling, and addressing compounded childhood trauma. Overcoming Fear and Embracing Public Speaking (00:41:04) Beth shares her initial fear of public speaking and how she learned to "do it afraid." Travel, Growth, and Encouraging Others (00:42:54) Beth discusses international speaking, personal growth, and encouraging others to pursue their dreams. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Beth, 'It stems from my own life experiences, things I went through in childhood, and I just have a passion for women to dream big and be all that God created them to be.' Beth, 'I can't say the marriage was a mistake because out of that marriage came my beautiful, precious daughter, Heather.' Beth, 'I think I always was looking for that love, that unconditional love that we want from someone.' Beth, 'I would try to please him and there wasn't pleasing him. I just felt that tension around him and I began to notice that temper.' Beth, 'Because of my childhood abuse, I didn't have the confidence in myself and value myself enough to know this is not good. This is not right. I should not be with this man.' Beth, 'I started going once a week, and I began to deal with all the pain and the trauma in my life, and it really helped me just to talk it out with a trusted person.' Beth, 'We do it afraid, just like you said. We do it afraid out of obedience to God, but just to give people hope and encourage others.' RESOURCES: RESOURCES: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE Connect with Beth https://www.BethJones.net Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/bethmjones Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BethJones.net Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bethmjones YouTube Channel (videos & vlogs): https://www.youtube.com/@bethmjones Etsy Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Shineyourlightindark "Bravery isn't loud—sometimes it's just choosing yourself." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura talks with Rhonda, a financial coach and advocate for women navigating divorce. Once someone who avoided conflict, Rhonda transformed her communication skills through therapy and education, turning her personal challenges into a mission to help other women find their voice and financial confidence. With over 17,000 hours of experience, 565 clients served, and $20 million secured for women, Rhonda brings both expertise and empathy to her work. A former financial advisor, she recognized that women facing divorce need more than advice—they need strategic and emotional support to rebuild their lives. Laura and Rhonda explore the realities of financial abuse, lack of access to information, and the emotional toll of divorce. Rhonda also shares her CIA framework—Communication, Integrity, and Advocacy—to help women make informed decisions and achieve lasting financial independence. Key Topics & Timestamps Transition to Financial Industry (00:05:20) Rhonda discusses entering the financial industry and encountering both support and dysfunction. Founding Women's Financial Wellness Center (00:06:40) Rhonda explains why she started her business and her holistic approach to financial coaching. Challenging Gender Stereotypes in Finance (00:11:29) Laura and Rhonda discuss outdated views about women and money, and the importance of empowerment. Strategies for Uncovering Hidden Assets (00:15:11) Rhonda shares investigative strategies for finding hidden assets and the importance of asking the right questions. Manipulation in Divorce Settlements (00:20:50) Laura and Rhonda discuss manipulation, gaslighting, and the importance of advocating for fair settlements. Real-Life Impact of Divorce on Lifestyle (00:24:19) Rhonda explains the 41% decrease in lifestyle post-divorce and how to plan for financial changes. Encouraging Proactive Financial Conversations (00:30:29) Advice for women to start asking questions, taking inventory, and reviewing financial documents. Respect and Integrity in Financial Services (00:36:33) Laura and Rhonda discuss the need for respect, integrity, and clear communication from financial professionals. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Rhonda, 'If I can help one woman improve her relationship with money, I've empowered her for a lifetime.' Rhonda, 'We just have to crunch the numbers and see where stuff lands and give women a voice to be able to advocate for what they need.' Rhonda, 'Don't just sign. That's probably my biggest advice. Don't just sign.' Rhonda, 'You don't have to know everything. You just have to be willing to ask questions unapologetically.' Rhonda, 'You create that safety, you create that trust, you know that somebody has your best interests at heart.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com Connect with Rhonda WEBSITE: https://wfwcdivorce.com/ Get immediate access to my FREE mini course. https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/S4a9NYjourlEQa70zVme "Financial freedom begins the moment you find your voice." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Kate, a nurse of more than 20 years and a personal development coach, to talk about sobriety, self-worth, and healing after narcissistic relationships. Together, they explore how alcohol, food, and limiting beliefs can leave women vulnerable to toxic dynamics—and how breaking free requires courage, boundaries, and a new story. Kate shares her personal journey of getting sober, healing from toxic relationships, and reclaiming her power through coaching and self-discovery. With a focus on mental health and sobriety in her nursing career, Kate now runs a private practice helping women move past numbing behaviors and self-defeating patterns so they can step into their divine purpose. This heartfelt conversation offers practical strategies, hope, and encouragement for women ready to rewrite their narratives, reclaim their worth, and create healthier, more authentic lives. Key Topics & Timestamps Alcohol, Vulnerability, and Narcissistic Relationships (00:03:14) Kate explains how heavy drinking made her vulnerable to narcissistic partners and losing her sense of self. Drinking's Impact on Women (00:06:33) Discussion on how alcohol affects women differently and the societal normalization of drinking. Boundaries and Coaching Women (00:14:42) The importance of boundaries, self-sabotage, and how Kate coaches women to recognize and address these issues. Gaslighting and Reclaiming Sanity (00:19:44) Laura and Kate discuss gaslighting in narcissistic relationships and the importance of trusting your gut. Losing and Gaining Friends in Sobriety (00:28:48) Kate and Laura talk about losing old friends and gaining more authentic connections after getting sober. Love Bombing, Alcohol, and the Nervous System (00:37:19) How love bombing and alcohol both create emotional highs and lows, destabilizing women in toxic relationships. Coaching vs. Therapy: The House Painting Analogy (00:41:51) Kate explains the difference between coaching and therapy, using the analogy of missing a spot while painting. Kate's Coaching Practice (00:49:33) Kate describes her coaching services, approach, and how women can work with her for personal development and sobriety. Powerful Quotes from the Episode "Nobody plans on being an alcoholic; it's a very insidious drug that creeps up on us." - Kate "Give yourself permission to question your relationships when you get sober." - Kate "Alcohol only fuels your anxiety, and your superpower is getting really clear." - Kate "Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated." - Kate "A lot of healing has to do with just discovering our own power through sobriety." - Kate RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com Connect with Kate https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61577139306055 https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/ https://www.tiktok.com/@rewired.sober https://www.youtube.com/@rewiredsober https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-vitela-carn-nc-bc-a9240721/ Sobriety is where self-worth begins, and healing truly takes root. Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura welcomes Dr. Tina, a holistic brain health practitioner and survivor-turned-guide specializing in recovery from narcissistic abuse. Dr. Tina received her Ph.D. in Neuroscience from the University of Rochester and completed postdoctoral fellowships in psychiatric and nutritional epidemiology at Johns Hopkins and Tufts University. Drawing on both neuroscience and medical intuition, she helps sensitive souls address root causes beyond relationships, surroundings, or symptoms. Together, Laura and Dr. Tina discuss the challenges of toxic relationships, the importance of boundaries, and the path toward self-love. Dr. Tina shares her personal journey of once feeling like a magnet for toxic people, the strategies she developed to reclaim her power, and how those discoveries shaped her 7-Step UPLIFTS Program—a powerful framework to help clients heal from narcissistic abuse and learn to love again. Throughout the conversation, she offers practical tools such as somatic practices, mindfulness, and energy protection techniques, while Laura reflects on her own healing journey and advocates for women to share their stories. Known as a dynamic speaker who inspires hope in those navigating chronic health challenges and toxic relationships, Dr. Tina brings wisdom, compassion, and encouragement to anyone ready to reclaim their voice and their power. Key Topics & Timestamps Dr. Tina's Personal Journey & Becoming a Practitioner (00:02:33) Dr. Tina shares her experiences with toxic people and how it led her to specialize in this field. Understanding Boundaries and People-Pleasing (00:03:52) Discussion about the importance of boundaries, people-pleasing, and how these patterns attract toxic individuals. Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Trauma Release (00:07:14) The role of trauma responses and subconscious work in healing from abuse. Gray Rock Method & Emotional Detachment (00:10:16) Explanation of the gray rock method and its effectiveness in dealing with narcissists. Self-Love and Healing Journey (00:13:35) The importance of self-love, inner work, and the ripple effects of personal healing. Who Should Seek Dr. Tina's Help (00:39:28) Description of ideal clients and readiness for healing or relationship change. Powerful Quotes from the Episode "Never too late. Why not live the life you want, right?" "People with a lot of trauma can have very, very thick heart walls. I had a lot." "I grew up with narcissists and then I had a narcissist that destroyed my career." "I like that idea of celebrating your personal best because I think that's so important. It really makes me happy to think about where I was and now where I am." "I like to tell people, don't try hard. Try easy. Releasing subconscious barriers is the easiest and fastest way to get to where you want to go." RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/ Connect with Tina https://tryholisticbrainhealth.com https://www.facebook.com/tryHolisticBrainHealth https://www.facebook.com/tina.huang.353 https://www.linkedin.com/in/tinalhuangphd www.youtube.com/@TinaHuangPhD 5 Powerful Strategies to Quickly Get Grounded: https://tryholisticbrainhealth.com/grounded-and-safe/ Listeners might find this useful: https://tryholisticbrainhealth.com/how-to-deal-with-bullies-trolls-and-haters/ Boundaries aren't walls—they're bridges back to yourself. Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura interviews Michal Spiegelman, a certified professional life coach, Reiki master, spiritual mentor, medical intuitive, and social worker, about healing from abuse and trauma, especially for women. Michal shares her journey from social work to holistic healing after her own trauma, emphasizing that true recovery involves body, soul, and spiritual work—not just talk therapy. The conversation explores practical tools like soul journaling and guided visualization, the importance of self-worth, and setting boundaries. Listeners are encouraged to seek holistic healing approaches and connect deeply with their inner selves for lasting transformation. Michal is the author of 'Becoming Soulful: Six Keys for Profound Transformation in Your Therapy, Coaching, or Healing Practice,' and is passionate about elevating consciousness in the world, one soul at a time. She empowers women and healing professionals alike to become soulful and shine in their personal and professional lives. Key Topics & Timestamps The Limits of Talk Therapy (00:03:17)Michal discusses the limitations of traditional therapy and the importance of integrating body and soul work. The Role of the Soul in Healing (00:05:05)Michal explains the importance of connecting with one's soul for deep, sustainable healing and guidance. Soul Journaling and Practical Practices (00:11:50)Michal describes practical exercises for connecting with the soul, such as soul journaling and intentional rituals. Patterns from Past Trauma (00:14:10)Laura and Michal discuss how childhood patterns and beliefs influence current relationships and healing. Kindness vs. Tolerating Abuse (00:14:34)Michal highlights the common confusion between being kind and tolerating abuse, especially among spiritual women. Self-Love and Breaking Patterns (00:18:50)Laura and Michal discuss the necessity of self-love and worthiness to break cycles of abuse and attract healthier relationships. Not All Healing Means Divorce (00:21:50)Michal notes that not all clients end up divorcing; some transform their relationships through inner work. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Laura, 00:18:50, 'The biggest thing for me was learning how to love myself and that I had value.' Michal, 00:19:01, 'Until you feel that you're worthy and until you really learn to love yourself, that's why many women attract relationship after relationship with abuse.' Laura, 00:20:58, 'I have value, I have worth, and he was unwilling to participate in our life.' Michal, 00:22:01, 'If we get a divorce and we don't do the inner work, then we just bring the same patterns into the next relationship.' Michal, 00:22:51, 'To know and to remember that the trauma is stored in the body.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/ CONNECT WITH MICHAL: WEBSITE: https://www.beaconsofchange.com/ GET HER BOOK: https://a.co/d/hjWAur2 Healing begins when you remember your worth. Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura and guest Dr. Jill Rosenthal, an award-winning Harvard and Stanford educated physician who retired after a 35+ year career and became certified as a wellness and mindset coach, share their personal journeys through trauma, loss, and healing. Dr. Rosenthal's extensive experience and training, coupled with her own transformation from a stressed, overworked, unhealthy physician, wife, and mother into a happy, healthy, thriving coach, make her uniquely equipped to help others release unconscious thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that hold them back, so they can create their dream life. Together, Laura and Dr. Rosenthal discuss the impact of emotional and psychological abuse, the challenges of rebuilding self-worth, and the importance of processing difficult emotions. Through candid conversation, they highlight the power of storytelling, community, and self-compassion in overcoming adversity and reclaiming one's life after trauma. Introduction & Coping Mechanisms (00:00:00) Discussion on comfort habits, dopamine hits, and how people push away uncomfortable feelings. Podcast Introduction & Guest Bio (00:00:40) Laura introduces the podcast, shares her mission, and presents Dr. Jill Rosenthal's background and transformation. Dr. Jill's Personal Journey (00:02:16) Dr. Jill summarizes her life challenges, including loss, illness, and her shift from medicine to coaching. Impact of Trauma & Feeling Stuck (00:03:30) Exploring how trauma, stress, and feeling stuck affect decision-making and self-worth. Coping with Trauma & Childhood Programming (00:05:41) Discussion on trauma responses, childhood experiences, and how they shape adult coping mechanisms. Effects of Emotional Abuse & Decision Paralysis (00:06:45) Laura and Dr. Jill discuss the impact of long-term emotional abuse on the ability to make decisions. Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse (00:09:09) Laura explains gaslighting, shares her experience, and introduces her book on healing from narcissistic abuse. Overcoming Conditioning & Taking Action (00:10:22) Dr. Jill describes the process of relearning decision-making and removing internal barriers to action. Overwhelm & Temporary Distractions (00:11:37) Conversation about overwhelm, avoidance behaviors, and why people turn to distractions for comfort. Pushing Away Feelings & the Bop Clown Analogy (00:12:20) Dr. Jill uses the bop clown metaphor to explain how suppressed feelings resurface and the importance of feeling them. Healing After Abuse & Setting Boundaries (00:14:23) Discussion on the necessity of healing emotional wounds, developing self-worth, and setting healthy boundaries. Patterns in Second Relationships (00:17:25) Exploring why unresolved trauma can affect new relationships and the importance of inner work before moving on. Feeling Safe After Abuse (00:18:54) The difference between rational understanding and truly feeling safe in new relationships. Conclusion & Resources (00:19:27) Closing remarks, Dr. Jill's website and free gift, encouragement to connect, and final thoughts on healing and community. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Laura, 00:00:40, "I believe keeping secrets will make you sick, and that they always come to light in the end. As women, we're often told to be quiet, don't share your story, don't talk about the things we go through. It's making women sick, sad, and suicidal. We don't have to be on the other side to share our story." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:02:29, "I went through a two and a half year period where I lost both my parents, managed their care from two to three thousand miles away, had foot reconstruction, my husband went into assisted living and now memory care for Alzheimer's disease, and I had breast cancer—surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. There was so much that would make your average person just run screaming from the room. But Jill 2.0 is thriving and happy despite all of the stuff that's going on. There's still stuff going on—my husband is in memory care and doesn't know who I am the last couple of weeks. I'm getting called every other day because he's hitting, kicking, and punching the staff. So I have things to deal with, but it doesn't have to take me down." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:03:30, "My treatment for my cancer eventually led to a disability retirement from my 35-year medical practice. It was sad, because I loved my patients, I adored my team, I loved what I did, and it was probably killing me with stress. We're so used to taking that—the stress accumulates. We're like the frog in boiling water. Although I was not in a marriage of abuse, my first husband wasn't great to me emotionally, but not like what a lot of people are dealing with. I get what happens when you feel like you have no choices, when you feel stuck in a situation and you can't get out, and when it impacts and changes your thoughts and feelings. You just sort of go, 'Oh, woe is me.' I get that." Laura, 00:05:41, "I remember towards the end, when you're in psychological and emotional abuse, your brain—I just remember my brain was mush. It had been 33 years. My brain was mush. I couldn't make any choices because, exactly, every choice was wrong. So I did feel stuck in a lot of ways, even just making simple decisions. I remember even after leaving my marriage, talking to my therapist and her saying, 'Just say yes to some good things and see if you like them.' Because I'm like, 'I don't know.' I call myself Laura 2.0. I think it's great, but it's so true. We're not dead, so we're not done. There's still time to do what you want to do. But I just remember going, 'I don't know what's next.'" Laura, 00:09:09, "I spent 33 years with someone who made me feel like I was the problem for everything that was wrong in our lives." Laura, 00:12:14, "I need sunshine. I am a houseplant. I need oxygen and sunshine and some water." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:15:49, "Unless you heal this, you're still carrying it around. It's on your shoulders, it's in big, heavy suitcases—the old ones, not the ones with the spinner wheels that you just kind of roll. Unless you heal it, it's still there, and it's still talking to you, and you're still feeling it. So you take it everywhere you go." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:16:44, "If you've been in a relationship where somebody has really beaten you down like that, you have to heal the damage that's been done to your psyche, and you have to heal that feeling of self-worth. You have to learn to get better boundaries, but you have to be able to do it in a way that is constructive." Laura, 00:20:53, "I have a heart for helping women because I felt so alone after my divorce, and I don't want anybody to feel that way." Laura, 00:21:02, "This is why we do these things, right? We didn't want anybody else to feel the way that we did." RESOURCES: YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura FOLLOW DR JILL: WEBSITE: https://drjillrosenthal.com INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drjillx/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/jill.rosenthal.75 GIFT FOR YOU: https://drjillgift.com/recovery Put Down The Baggage: A Self-Healing Journal & Quick-Start Guide to Letting Go of What's Holding You Back After Trauma Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.