ADHD and impulse control: The science behind why willpower fails | Sorry, I Missed This

ADHD and impulse control: The science behind why willpower fails | Sorry, I Missed This

From The ADHD Channel for Women by Understood.org

July 2, 2026 · 25 min · Episode 174

About this episode

This episode explores the misconceptions around ADHD and impulse control, discussing the science behind self-regulation and the impact of shame and anxiety on executive function.

Does ADHD really mean poor self-control? Or is that the myth that’s been making everything harder? Dr. Polaris Koi is a philosopher who studies ADHD and self-regulation (and is an ADHDer themselves). In this episode, Cate and Polaris get into why “just try harder” is not only unhelpful advice — it’s based on science that most researchers don’t even believe anymore. They talk about why impulsivity in ADHD adults rarely looks like the textbook version (hi, compulsive shopping and 3 a.m. tattoo urges). How shame and anxiety make executive function worse. And why learning to work with your brain’s patterns beats white-knuckling your way through every temptation. Plus why some ADHDers end up over-controlled — which comes with its own set of problems. If you’ve ever told yourself you’re just lazy, bad at relationships, or fundamentally broken because you can’t seem to get it together, this one’s for you.

People in this episode

Host: Cate

Guest: Dr. Polaris Koi

Topics covered

  • ADHD
  • impulse control
  • self-regulation
  • executive function
  • mental health

Keywords

  • ADHD
  • impulse control
  • self-regulation
  • executive function
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • shame
  • compulsivity

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Understood.org

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