
Parentification: The hidden pattern in ADHD relationships | Sorry, I Missed This
From The ADHD Channel for Women by Understood.org
July 16, 2026 · 30 min · Episode 177
About this episode
The episode discusses the dynamics of parentification in ADHD relationships and offers insights on how to address these patterns.
Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out. They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day. Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.
People in this episode
Host: Cate Osborn
Guest: Kristen Carder
Topics covered
- ADHD
- relationships
- parentification
- mental health
- self improvement
Keywords
- ADHD relationships
- parentification
- resentment
- overfunctioning
- self improvement
Mentioned in this episode
Organizations: I Have ADHD
Books & works: You’re Not in Trouble
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