Dating Smarter, Not Harder with Amy Chan

Dating Smarter, Not Harder with Amy Chan

From The Angry Therapist Podcast by The Angry Therapist

April 20, 2026 · 49 min

About this episode

John Kim and Amy Chan discuss dating smarter by exploring personal experiences and frameworks for building healthy relationships.

In this episode, John Kim sits down with relationship expert and author Amy Chan to talk about dating patterns, childhood wounds, grief, commitment, and what it really takes to build healthy love. Amy shares how the sudden loss of a close friend changed the way she thinks about relationships and why creating core memories with the people you love matters more than convenience. John opens up about how losing his home reshaped his idea of freedom, home, and what truly matters. Together, they explore how childhood neglect, validation-seeking, and old survival strategies continue to shape adult dating patterns. They also break down Amy’s framework for dating smarter, including how to spot where your dating life gets stuck, why apps should not be your only strategy, and how your energy affects connection. They talk about dopamine, fantasy, and why the first three months of dating can be misleading. Later, they unpack commitment, unrealistic expectations, relationship trade-offs, triggers, repair, and emotional safety. Amy explains her “Sh*t Bucket” concept and why healthy love is not about finding a perfect partner, but choosing someone whose imperfections you can actually live with…

People in this episode

Host: John Kim

Guest: Amy Chan

Topics covered

  • dating patterns
  • childhood wounds
  • healthy love
  • commitment
  • emotional safety

Keywords

  • dating
  • relationships
  • grief
  • commitment
  • emotional safety
  • childhood neglect
  • dating apps

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