The Buddy System with Chris & Matty

90s Jock Jams, the World Cup song situation (why Jelly Roll?), the show Alone, a Naked and Afraid snakebite story

Scoochie Boochie (https://www.instagram.com/scoochie_boochie) is back on the Buddy System Podcast, and Chris and Matty barely make it through hello before the three of them are swapping tour bus stories, including the act that got left sleeping under a bridge in Milwaukee. From there it is a full hour of comedy podcast tangents: why nerds keep pairing Magic the Gathering with cocaine, a Christian unicycle family dribbling basketballs for Christ, the fact that every crow sounds like Ron White, whether you could train a dog for the biathlon, and the universal truth that your male cat has nipples. Scoochie shouts out his friend Alex Wannell as Treasure of the Week for talking him through a brown recluse bite, the guys invent a pistol with a single tooth, and somewhere in there katana otters, a fridge full of kimchi, and a plan to dodge the draft all come up before the whole thing lands on the green team.

Our buddy Sam Biru (@morkatabiru) finally pulls up to the Buddy System for the first time, and he earned it: Chicago comic by way of Philadelphia, 2025 JFL New Faces, and one of the best of the new class. Chris and Matty get into the laughing tap to JFL pipeline, the time two grown men with their luggage finished a kids' bingo card at the Milwaukee Bobblehead Museum, and why it is basically impossible to doomscroll the news and then go do standup. From there it is whitewashed history class and the ongoing case that Paul Revere is not real, the Penn State professor who taught nothing, and Sam's acting past, including a play where his only job was to die of a seizure and the time he got booted a week before opening night for bringing beer and hash to rehearsal. Sam runs a live voiceover bit as a 75 year old conspiracy theorist school bus driver, the guys pitch a songless Lord of the Rings, and it all ends with a full Chet Hanks appreciation hour. Comedy, Chicago stand up, and a whole lot of tangents.

Our buddy Luke Null (SNL, "Pretty Songs Dirty Words" ft. Wayne Brady) is back at the studio and he and Chris have a new segment to debut: Will Matty Read It, where they pitch Matty a book and find out whether he'll actually read the thing. Luke goes first with Joe Abercrombie's Best Served Cold, a Kill Bill revenge novel set in the First Law universe with a numbers-obsessed sociopath named Friendly. Chris counters with Stephen King's Gerald's Game, the one about the woman handcuffed to the bed in a Maine cabin with a dead husband on the floor and a very tall man watching her from the corner, who the boys spend the rest of the episode calling Carl. Along the way they get into George R.R. Martin letting fan fiction of his own books trickle out, why The Dark Tower movie is the worst book adaptation ever made, the genius of The Stand's Boulder-versus-Vegas premise, and Matty workshopping his own forest fantasy novel on the spot with strict rules against robot shit and animal husbandry.

Comedian Sam Rocha (@samhandleyrocha) joins us and the conversation goes everywhere. Sam moved from Santa Barbara to Chicago to study comedy at Columbia, AOC followed her after her political campaign manager sketch, and her commitment to Mariah Carey is unmatched on this earth. We get into the airline that genuinely forgot to book a pilot, the time Matty got chewed out by a pilot for trying to smoke a cigarette on the runway as a teenager, Chris's new Cat Bird ring, Matty's potentially 10,000-year-old arrowhead, picking your daemon if you lived in The Golden Compass, a 103-acre wallaby island for sale in Scotland that's allegedly full of homophobic wallabies, Things We Wrote Down™, the delivery robot surveillance soft launch theory, and the time Sam tried to convince ChatGPT that Mariah Carey was a hero of 9/11.

Our good pal Loosh comes by the studio to bum us tf out. She's got facts, she's got figures, and she wants to know if she should've brought her hat. Lucia Whalen is the first two time guest of the Buddy System and will be back a plenty with her new segment, "Lucia Bums Us Out" Check it out! Its very fun and also informative!

Chris opened a tin of sardines at the studio and Matty is not having it. That somehow leads to the accidental invention of bread, T-Mobile charging ten dollars to talk to a human, Batman being a billionaire cop, their Batman villain names, and asking the warehouse ghosts to please keep things platonic. Two new segments debut this week — Things I Wrote Down and Treasure of the Week.

It's Matty's birthday, it's St. Patrick's Day, and someone gifted him a whale penis sculpture. Chris and Matty get into the origin story of Chicago dyeing the river green, hotel horror stories, the NA beer and mocktail price scam, body proportion facts discovered in the shower, a love letter to San Francisco, and a top five sandwiches ranking that gets heated. Plus: a tanuki follow-up, playground violence nostalgia, and why modern conspiracy theorists might actually be the optimists now. New episodes every Tuesday. Leave a review and join the Patreon at patreon.com/buddysystempod for bonus episodes, early access, and cooking segments.

We had every intention of being mature this week.

Our buddy Devon Walker (SNL, Big Mouth, "My Favorite Lyrics" podcast) is in Chicago and we had to get him on the pod. Devon talks about coming up in the Austin comedy scene, getting Comedy Central's Comics to Watch just two years in, moving to New York City with $7,000, and surviving nightmare roommates — including one guy whose profile picture screams guilty verdict. He gives the full play-by-play of his SNL audition, from the club showcase to performing standup on an empty Studio 8H stage in front of Lorne Michaels. Then we completely derail into apocalypse survival plans, a rabid chimp horror movie, Chicago segregation stories, the legendary Southside Irish Parade corned beef heist, and why Vegas is Disneyland for idiots. Devon picks the panda as his favorite animal and almost gets into a fistfight with a security guard at an Eagles bar.

Happy Palentine's Day! This week on the Buddy System Podcast, we're celebrating friendship with our pal, Chicago comedian Lucia Hollis (@luciaismyname). We talk about everything from Pluto's planet status to Monsanto conspiracies, exchange the weirdest Palentine's Day gifts ever, debate whether astrology fans should have to learn astronomy, share some absolutely unhinged dating stories, and get real about friendship vs. romance.

Our pal Joyelle Johnson stopped by the pod to talk about all kinds of stuff! Ungulates, touring, and more. Joyelle is a regular panelist on NPR's "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me." She has multiple specials out, she's been on TV a buncha, and she's appeared on late-night shows several times! She's the coolest, and one time she went to a zoo with Chris! We love her, and so will you! FULL DISCLOSURE: This episode was filmed late at night, after shows, and it’s a bit of a mess sometimes lol.

Whoa! Two extremely tender episodes for our first week? You bet your bazingos, big guy. Count on it! Our dearest buddy Kyle Kinane stopped by for a lovely long chat about things, stuff, and prescription crocs. Kyle is a legend in the Chicago comedy scene and a true comedian's comedian. There's not a comic He's personally contributed so much to our art and careers. It's a fantastic listen, so be sure to check it out! hosts Chris Higgins Matty Ryan executive producer Israel Fernandez III directed by Israel Fernandez III producer Sean Nielsen co-producers Chris Higgins & Matty Ryan director of photography Rob Gaona edited by Rob Gaona & Israel Fernandez III assistant editor Jess Roman graphics & motion Chris Higgins & Israel Fernandez III music Into the Heart of the Dragon’s LairMatt Cantor sound design Rob Gaona location Iconoclast Studios proudly filmed in Avondale, Chicago