The Huddle Wisdom Podcast with Dr Davin Tan

Have you ever lost your cool over something tiny? I explain why those moments aren't always about your child. We dive deep into the concept of the 'inner child' and how our own unprocessed childhood experiences can hijack our nervous system, causing us to overreact. This isn't about blaming yourself...it's about gaining awareness, taking back control, and building a more connected, calm relationship with your child (and yourself). In This Episode, We Discuss: The "inner child": What it is, why it gets triggered in parenting, and how it can lead to disproportionate reactions. Inner Child vs. Adult Self: The subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) battle between these two parts of you and how it plays out in your home. The Power of Awareness: Why simply noticing your triggers is the first step to shifting from a reactive parent to a reflective one. Practical Tools for Parents: Simple, effective strategies to calm your nervous system and respond to your child with more wisdom and less rage.   Find me on Instagram for daily wisdom and community discussion:Huddle Wisdom Parenting   Connect & Subscribe:  If you found this episode helpful, please leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! It helps other parents find our show. And don't forget to hit "follow" so you never miss an episode. Until next time, take care of yourselves and the young people in your lives. Hosted by Dr. Davin Tan Child Psychiatrist.

Parents often wonder why I notice things about their child that they don’t. In this episode, I explain why that happens (hint: it’s not because you’re failing), and I share a simple Jedi-inspired exercise that helps you start noticing the subtle signs of safety, stress, and connection in your child. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why kids act differently with me than with you. How to reframe the “messy” behaviours you see at home. A 5-minute noticing exercise that gives you surprising insights. How tuning in with your heart, not your head, builds connection. Links and Resources: Explore the Making Sense of Anxious Children course: huddlewisdom.com  Follow me on Instagram: @huddle_wisdom_parenting

In this episode, Dr. Davin Tan helps parents understand what to do when their child is having a meltdown. He explains why our typical response, "calm down," is not only ineffective but can also make things worse. Dr. Tan makes the powerful connection between a body overheating in a heatwave and a child's nervous system going into full activation. In this state, the rational part of their brain is offline, so telling them to "calm down" is like telling someone to "cool down" when they can't. The goal isn't to make their feelings disappear; it's to help them feel safe and understood. Dr. Tan shares five powerful, research-backed phrases to use instead, turning a moment of chaos into a chance for connection and learning. Five Phrases to Try: "Looks like that really got to you." "Take your time. I'm here." "This feels intense, huh?" "This is tough. Want to sit with me for a bit?" "We'll figure this out together." Remember: They're not giving you a hard time; they're having a hard time. By responding with empathy, you can help build your child's resilience and strengthen your bond. Find out more here! www.huddlewisdom.com

Before we became parents we had all sorts of ideas about what it would be like, stemming from our past experiences, memories, books, hopes and dreams, other peoples ideas...but it's not quite the same thing becoming a parent. I'd personally never have it any other way but there are things we don't anticipate if our children are of a certain sensitive temperament and experience great anxiety; we might not be prepared for the reactivity, the unpredictability of emotional upheaval, the overwhelm, the feeling of 'nothing's working'.  Let me help you out a little bit...there are 3 important mindset shifts or mental models that builds a framework that could turn things around.  1. regulation over reaction 2. curiosity instead of judgement 3. connection before correction Tune in to learn more.  Also go check out the Emotional Storm Module from the Making Sense of Anxious Kids program...you can access that completely free if you sign up on our website : www.huddlewisdom.com You won't regret it!

Is your child's misbehaviour leaving you frustrated, confused, or exhausted? You're not alone. In this powerful episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, host Dr Tan unpacks a crucial concept that will transform how you view your child's struggles: challenging behaviour is not the problem, it's the signal. Learn why parents often fall into the trap of "fixing the smoke" (addressing outward child behaviour like yelling, tantrums, defiance, or meltdowns) instead of uncovering the true "fire" beneath. Often anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, or unmet emotional needs. Learn actionable strategies to: Pause before reacting to your child's difficult moments. Get curious, not furious, about what might be driving their actions. Gently name the underlying emotions or "fire" you observe. Stay present and connect, even when things feel chaotic.   To navigate your anxious child's behavior with confidence and calm, explore Dr Davin Tan's signature online course: "Making Sense of Anxious Children." Learn how to identify those hidden fires, build essential communication skills, and foster a more peaceful home environment. Find out more and enroll today at: www.huddlewisdom.com In this episode, you will learn: Why misbehaviour is a signal, not the core problem. The dangers of "smoke-fixing" in child behavior. How to identify the "fire" (underlying anxiety or needs) beneath challenging behaviors. Practical steps to respond with curiosity and connection instead of frustration. A real-life example of transforming homework meltdowns by addressing underlying perfectionism.

 When Connection Feels Impossible: Parenting Through the Disconnection Feeling disconnected from your child? This Huddle Wisdom podcast episode with Dr. Davin Tan explores why kids withdraw and offers practical parenting strategies for staying grounded and fostering connection, even when it feels impossible. Learn the power of presence and how to navigate those challenging moments of silence and emotional distance.  Key Discussion Points: Understanding the frustration and pain of feeling disconnected from your child. Recognising that disconnection isn't always personal rejection but can be a sign of a child's internal struggles. The counterintuitive power of "being there" without demanding a response. Why pushing for conversation or resorting to control can backfire. The importance of creating a safe, non-judgmental space for children to open up when they are ready. The concept of "containment", offering a steady and emotionally regulated presence. Acknowledging the difficulty of remaining present and patient during disconnection. Reframing connection as an ongoing process built through consistent, small acts of support. The enduring impact of a parent's unwavering love and availability, even in silence. Resources Mentioned:  Courses: Parenting for Anxious Children, Making Sense of Anxious Children Actionable Advice: Focus on consistent presence rather than forcing interaction. Offer a calm and reassuring energy in shared spaces. Resist the urge to ask accusatory questions or demand explanations. Practice patience and create a safe space for future communication. Be a steady anchor point, allowing your child to process their emotions. Remember that your consistent support is making a difference, even if it's not immediately visible.    

In this episode, Dr. Davin Tan addresses a common but often unspoken fear among parents: "Am I raising a child who lacks empathy?"  He explores the complexities of childhood development, distinguishing between normal behaviors and potential red flags. Dr. Tan explores the neurological basis of empathy, the influence of parenting styles, and practical strategies for nurturing compassion in children. He also discusses when to seek professional help and offers hope for families facing challenging behavioral patterns.   Key Takeaways:   Empathy develops gradually and unevenly throughout childhood. Many behaviors that seem callous are actually developmental or related to anxiety. Authoritative parenting (clear boundaries with high warmth) is most conducive to empathy development. Children learn empathy by experiencing empathy and having their emotions validated. Practical strategies like emotional coaching, perspective-taking, and repair after conflict can nurture empathy. Professional help is beneficial when behavioral concerns persist or significantly change. RESOURCES: www.huddlewisdom.com/courses

In this episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, Dr. Davin Tan explores the neuroscience behind teenage meltdowns, their common triggers, and provides evidence-based strategies for parents and caregivers. Learn practical insights into the adolescent brain's development, effective mindfulness techniques, and empathic communication methods to navigate the challenges of raising teenagers. Key Topics Covered: The Neuroscience of the Teenage Brain: Understanding the ongoing development of the prefrontal cortex and its impact on teenage behavior. Common Emotional Triggers: Identifying factors that lead to emotional dysregulation in adolescents, such as academic pressure, social dynamics, and sleep deprivation. Mindfulness as a Neurological Tool: Using mindfulness exercises to strengthen neural connections in the prefrontal cortex and improve self-regulation. The Neuroscience of Empathy: How empathy and active listening facilitate co-regulation and create safe spaces for self-expression. The SAVE Protocol: A structured approach to empathic response: See, Attune, Validate, Empathise.   AUDIO COURSE: Empathic Discipline for Anxious KIds - CLICK HERE

Childhood friendships aren't always sunshine and rainbows. We're uncovering the hidden manipulation and emotional turmoil kids face in their social circles. Learn about concepts to help your child build resilience and identify genuine connections, before their self-esteem takes a hit.   Sign up to FREE email series : Confusion to Connection (for folk wanting to really help their anxious children) www.huddlewisdom.com/14days 

Understanding Separation Anxiety: Separation anxiety is normal, but that doesn't make it enjoyable. The goal is to understand why a child perceives temporary absence as abandonment and how to reassure them. The child's brain acts like an overenthusiastic security guard, setting off alarms when a parent leaves. The child's brain is trying to protect them, but it can be "extra" about it. Signs of Anxiety: Beyond a child treating a parent's departure as a major event, look for these indicators: Physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches, particularly on school days. Behavioral changes, like a normally independent child becoming clingy. Sleep changes, including trouble falling or staying asleep, or checking on the parent. The SECURE Method: Dr. Tan introduces the SECURE method, an acronym for managing childhood anxiety. S - Safe Space / neutral space Creation: Create a secure environment, like a "Chill Zone" with pillows and books, where the child feels safe to express their feelings. E - Emotional Validation: Validate the child's feelings instead of dismissing them. For example, instead of saying "There's nothing to worry about," say "I understand this feels scary. It's okay to feel this way". C - Consistent Routines: Children need routines. Create a short, sweet, and consistent goodbye routine. A good routine includes a quick hug, a simple phrase, and a confident exit. A bad routine involves prolonged hugs, tearful goodbyes, and multiple returns. U - Understanding Triggers: Identify anxiety triggers such as new situations, changes in routine, or loss of control. R - Realistic Expectations: E - Empowering Independence: When to Seek Professional Help: Consider professional help if: The child's anxiety severely impacts daily life. The strategies discussed aren't helping after consistent effort. The parent develops anxiety about the child's anxiety. Statistics: Separation anxiety affects about 4% of children under 12. It's equally common in boys and girls. Most children show significant improvement with proper support. Many parents feel like they're the only ones dealing with this.    14 Days from confusion to confidence: FREE email series / course. IT will help you make big changes in your anxious child's life, and yours in my opinion  www.huddlewisdom.com/14days 

This podcast episode focuses on building resilience in children through empathic listening and emotional validation. The host, Dr. Davin Tan, explains that these techniques foster strong parent-child connections by creating a safe space for children to express their feelings. Empathic listening involves understanding children's emotions, while emotional validation means acknowledging their feelings without judgment. The podcast offers practical tips for applying these methods and promotes related courses for further learning. Ultimately, the goal is to help children develop emotional strength and navigate challenges effectively. The 'Making Sense of Anxious Kids' course: www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids 

2024 was a tough year, wasn't it? In this episode, I share my own experiences of navigating personal challenges while trying to be the best parent I can be. We'll explore the true meaning of resilience, how to practice intentional parenting even when you're struggling, and practical steps to help you and your kids thrive. Plus, I'll tell you about my free "14 Days of Reflection" program for anxious kids and my comprehensive course, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids". Let's face the challenges of parenting together - you are not alone! CHECK OUT THESE AWESOME RESOURCES ✌️14 Days - From Confusion to Connection (FREE) www.huddlewisdom.com/14days   🤔Making Sense of Anxious Kids https://www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids   

Building Resilience - From Anxiety to Confidence - This episode explores practical strategies for helping children build resilience and confidence in managing their anxiety  Dr. Tan introduces the "Courage Ladder" approach, which involves creating manageable steps to gradually expose children to their fears The episode also emphasizes the importance of understanding the physical symptoms of anxiety and how to manage them  Dr. Tan introduces the "Body Detective" technique for recognizing and managing physical anxiety signals  Practical tools are also discussed, including the "Dragon Breath" technique, the "Worry Box," and the "Superhero Pose"  The episode stresses that supporting an anxious child is a journey and that consistency and understanding are crucial  The episode emphasizes that the goal is not to eliminate anxiety, but to help children learn to navigate it effectively Course: Making sense of anxious kids www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids IMPORTANT NOTE: The information provided in these podcast episode descriptions is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice   It is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any concerns about a child's mental health.   The podcast series, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids," aims to help parents better understand and support their anxious children.   Dr. Davin Tan, a child psychiatrist, shares insights and strategies based on his experience working with families   The series covers topics such as understanding the anxious mind, effective communication techniques, and building resilience