The Lose Control Podcast

“The Quiet That Changes You” There’s a moment in every journey where the noise finally fades… and what’s left is the truth. This episode is built for that moment. The Quiet That Changes You is a solution‑based compilation — a curated collection of the language of the heart. It weaves together reflective questions, lived experience, and grounded emotional clarity to guide you back to yourself. Each segment is intentionally chosen to help you slow down, listen inward, and reconnect with the parts of you that have been asking for attention. Through stillness, self‑honesty, and a mid‑episode intermission designed to reset your spirit, this compilation invites you to release the weight you’ve been carrying — the old stories, the survival patterns, the expectations that no longer fit who you’re becoming. This isn’t motivation. This isn’t hype. This is a return to yourself. If you’ve been craving peace, direction, or a deeper sense of alignment, this episode will meet you exactly where you are and help you step into the version of you that’s been waiting on the other side of letting go. Welcome to The Lose Control Experience — where letting go becomes your greatest strength.

Welcome back to The Lose Control Podcast—the space where surrender becomes strength and unraveling is sacred.

”I am the creator of my world, so I better make choices that align with my dreams,”

I must be willing to do whatever “anything” looks like to help another alcoholic. This means offering unwavering friendship and fellowship, and assuring him that if he genuinely desires to get well, I will do anything to support him on his journey. The bond we create is founded on trust, empathy, and shared experience. Pg 95 You can have what we have, no strings attached. However, this comes with the need for brutal honesty with oneself. You must be willing to change every pattern in your life and be consistent. Consistency is not about doing the same thing over and over, but about doing what needs to be done next. Implementing discipline is essential, and through this process, we transform each other by creating an intimate and supportive relationship. We are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable: This fundamental acknowledgment is the first step towards healing. Recognizing our powerlessness over alcohol and the chaos it brings into our lives opens the door to seeking help and change. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity: Embracing the belief in a higher power—whether it be a spiritual presence, a supportive community, or another source of strength—brings hope and guidance. This belief fosters a sense of purpose and direction in the recovery process. Made a conscious decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him: This step is about surrendering control and trusting in the higher power identified in Step 2. It involves making a profound commitment to follow a new path, allowing this higher power to guide our actions and decisions. Through these steps, we embark on a journey of profound personal transformation, supporting each other and embracing the possibility of a better future. This process not only fosters individual growth but also strengthens the bonds of fellowship and shared recovery.

This week’s special guest is Matthew Parsley. Born in Long Beach, Long Island, and raised in Dillon, South Carolina, by his grandmother and great-grandmother from the age of six, Matthew's early life was deeply influenced by a religious and spiritual household. Church provided solace, but his childhood was also marked by the trauma of being molested by a favorite cousin, a secret that cast a long shadow over his formative years. Unlike other boys, Matthew felt different, gravitating towards girls and finding comfort in their company. His grandmother introduced him to baseball, but another hidden, darker world beckoned, fueled by his father's stash of VHS tapes and DVDs. Pornography, masturbation, and eventually promiscuity became secret addictions that led him to unimaginable places. College in Daytona Beach, Florida, brought new experiences and vices. Introduced to weed by his best friend, who passed away in 2010, Matthew became a weekend warrior. Transient sexual relations and pornography addiction escalated, leading to missed classes and lost opportunities. Despite graduating, he didn't earn a degree, having lost his band scholarship due to poor attendance. In 2016, Matthew moved to New York City, where the grip of sex and drugs tightened around his life. Methamphetamine became his new demon, intensifying his sex addiction and leading him down the path of intravenous drug use. Soon, he found himself ostracized after testing HIV positive. His family feared for his safety as he vanished into the city's underbelly. The stroke his father suffered only deepened Matthew's resentment and fueled his desire to escape through drugs, leaving his mother to care for his ailing father alone. This period marked a profound descent into darkness, where the weight of his choices and the pain of his reality collided. By 2022, Matthew had reached the lowest point in his life. Suicidal and broken, he found himself in the back of a sheriff's car on the way to detox. His first meeting at Primary Purpose in Myrtle Beach was a pivotal moment, marking the start of his transformation. It was there that Matthew came to understand his spiritual sickness. Today, Matthew is a new man, rebuilt by the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship of the spirit. He passionately says, “Staying stopped… getting high… that’s the small part. It’s what’s inside that needs reparations.” Matthew's presence today is a testament to his choice to be present, living one day at a time. Matthew's spiritual relationship with God and others is now the cornerstone of his life. Embracing life's terms and focusing on the journey rather than the outcome, he greets each day with profound gratitude and purpose. His entry into Oaks Recovery on his mother's birthday, June 25, symbolizes his rebirth and unwavering commitment to a brighter future. Matthew dedicates himself to helping other addicts, working diligently, and forgiving himself for past mistakes. His journey is a profound testament to the boundless possibility of change and the unbreakable resilience of the human spirit.

Introducing our special guests this week: Ashleigh and Lance Cline – “This is the life I prayed for.” Ashleigh and Lance's story began in 2019 when they connected through the Any Length Recovery Facebook page. At that time, Ashleigh was just four months out of prison, starting to rebuild her life, while Lance was emerging from his own prison, the trap houses of W. Baltimore. Both were early in their recovery journeys, with Lance seeking convenience rather than a relationship. Ashleigh made it clear she wasn't interested in casual encounters, and they decided to take it slow—a new experience for both. They spent a month talking on the phone, getting to know each other. Once Ashleigh regained her license, she drove to Sumter to visit Lance, living at a men's recovery home, working full-time, and learning how to navigate life as an honest, responsible person. She drove every chance she got and began to fall in love. Initially, Lance viewed their connection as short-term and superficial. Despite their differences, they found solace, peace, and understanding in each other, creating an unshakeable foundation. Those weekend visits became a cherished routine. Not long after, Lance experienced a new season of true love. He got a car, and together they maximized their time, traveling back and forth. Trust came naturally despite the distance. The power of a Higher Calm unveiled true love and brought them closer. Ashleigh fell in love with Lance's passion and commitment to recovery—his very essence. Lance fell in love with Ashleigh’s smile, goofy energy, and zeal for life. On June 18, 2022, Ashleigh and Lance got married. Over the years, these two unlikely personalities have grown immensely together. Their love story is like a fairytale written by the Coen Brothers, transforming from hell to heaven on earth—a metamorphosis from a worm to a beautiful butterfly. They have learned to take responsibility and build their lives side by side, brick by brick. Honest and raw communication has been the cornerstone of their marriage, preventing real trials and tribulations. Navigating life as sober individuals, they continuously help others along the way. Lance and Ashleigh are best friends and steadfast supporters in all areas of life. They are deeply in love with the concept of family and are committed to being a part of it. They understand the importance of giving advice when needed and practicing reflective listening to truly connect with each other's souls and thoughts. Their journey together is a testament to growth, love, and mutual support.

Ashleigh Cline is a certified peer support specialist at Westview Behavioral Health. After a turbulent road filled with addiction, trauma, and significant personal loss her story has transformed dramatically from one of despair to one of resilience and post-traumatic growth. Her twelve-year battle with addiction marked the beginning of a profound journey of self-discovery, leading her to the threshold of recovery. On January 26, 2025, Ashleigh will celebrate seven years of sobriety. Her recovery journey now centers around sharing her experiences of addiction, loss, 17 months of incarceration, and eventual recovery. Refusing to be haunted by her past, Ashleigh chose to turn her suffering into a source of courage and support for others. By actively participating in the recovery community, she has witnessed how resilience can transform lives-not just her own, but also those she has had the honor to help. Each shared story becomes a beacon of hope, demonstrating that overcoming hardship and finding meaning beyond addiction is possible. In March 2023, at 43 years old, Ashleigh returned to college at Limestone University to pursue her bachelor's degree in social work. Maintaining a 4.0 GPA, she is on track to graduate in December 2024. Her academic journey has been challenging yet incredibly rewarding, reaffirming her commitment to helping others. With a blend of personal experience and professional training, Ashleigh plans to begin working as an addiction and substance use counselor in December. Her journey through recovery has provided her with a unique perspective and deep empathy for those facing similar struggles. Ashleigh is dedicated to positively impacting the lives of individuals battling addiction, guiding them toward their own paths to recovery, just as she found hers.

Lance Cline hails from the heart of Maryland. His childhood was shaped within the nurturing yet challenging environment of Recovery, as both of his parents have been steadfast in their Recovery journey for over 40 years. This unique upbringing instilled in Lance a deep understanding of the struggles and triumphs that come with addiction and recovery. In 2017, Lance’s world was shattered when he lost his brother to a fentanyl overdose. The grief and despair that followed were overwhelming, plunging Lance into a dark abyss of hopelessness and self-doubt. This profound loss became the catalyst for his own battle with addiction, leading Lance down a harrowing path that left him homeless on the unforgiving streets of Baltimore. Lance’s journey to recovery was anything but straightforward. It took the relentless pursuit of healing through 20 treatment centers before he finally found solace in surrender and acceptance. This pivotal moment marked the beginning of Lance’s transformation. Today, Lance stands proud, having been sober for six years. His unwavering belief in the 12 steps and the transformative power of service to others has been the cornerstone of Lance’s recovery. This commitment to helping others has not only fortified his own sobriety but has also given Lance a life, profound in meaning and purpose. Every day, Lance strives to live in the solution, embracing the challenges and joys that come with a life dedicated to recovery. Lance’s mission is to guide others towards the light of recovery, offering hope and support to those still struggling. Through Lance’s journey, he has learned that even in our darkest moments, there is always a path to redemption and a chance to rebuild our lives with love, compassion, and unwavering determination.

Jamar’s odyssey to recovery commenced on March 17th, 2018, a date etched in his memory as the beginning of a profound transformation. His narrative is a harrowing tapestry woven with threads of deep-seated depression, excruciating pain, and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and worthlessness. These emotions, intertwined with unmanageability, selfishness, and self-seeking behaviors, propelled him into an abyss of darkness. Jamar’s struggle with addiction was punctuated by harrowing episodes of suicidal ideation, seething rage, and a relentless cycle of denial and justification. Jamar’s descent into substance use began at the tender age of 13 or 14. The very first encounter with a substance was a revelation, an intoxicating escape from a reality he found unbearable. Drugs, and any other means of obliterating his consciousness, swiftly became his paramount obsession. Despite not being overtly rebellious, Jamar was a soul in turmoil, grappling with the scars of abandonment and other personal demons. He fulfilled his obligations, such as attending school, but the hours after school became a sanctuary for his substance use. Marijuana was his initial refuge, but as his addiction spiraled, he resorted to any substance he could procure. Today, Jamar stands as a beacon of hope, a living testament to the possibility of recovery and the relentless journey it entails. No longer confined to a self-imposed prison, he embraces life with the gratitude of a recovering addict. His story is a powerful testament to the indomitable strength and resilience required to conquer addiction and rediscover hope and purpose in recovery.

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Gerry Kelly: A Journey Across Oceans Gerry Kelly, a man of seasoned years and weathered spirit, traces his origins to the cobbled streets of Dublin, Ireland. Born under the watchful eyes of the Emerald Isle, he carried dreams as fragile as the morning mist. But destiny, that elusive weaver of narratives, had grander plans. In the fateful year of 1986, Gerry embarked on a pilgrimage across the Atlantic. With a mere $400 clutched tightly—a talisman against uncertainty—he stepped onto American soil. The United States, a symphony of ambition and opportunity, welcomed him with open arms. The Statue of Liberty, her torch ablaze, whispered secrets of reinvention and resilience. And so Gerry stayed. Thirty-eight years etched into the marrow of his bones, each day a chapter in the epic saga of survival. Pamela Helms, a beacon of warmth and laughter, became his partner in this unfolding drama. On a sun-kissed June day in 2024, they exchanged vows—their love a bridge spanning continents, cultures, and shared dreams. Their family portrait is a canvas of diversity: Together, they form a mosaic of love, resilience, and acceptance—a testament to the beauty of blended families. Their home reverberates with gratitude, and their hearts dance to a rhythm of compassion. But Gerry and Pamela are more than mere spectators in life’s theater. Their purpose transcends the ordinary. They extend hands to those ensnared by addiction—the alcoholics, the lost souls—offering redemption in exchange for their own joy. And then there are the constants: God, the silent architect; Country, its flag rippling in the wind; and Guns, symbols of protection and heritage. Gerry’s allegiance is unwavering, a hymn sung in the language of calloused hands and sunburned necks. “Trust in God,” Gerry declares, his voice a timeworn melody. For he knows that even amidst the scaffolding of construction sites, where sweat mingles with sawdust, there’s a divine blueprint guiding his steps. May the winds carry his tale across oceans, whispering it to those who listen

Julie’s Journey to Authenticity INSTAGRAM: Julie_Cole_Coaching / Julie@JulieCole.org Julie Cole sat in the dimly lit room, her fingers tracing the edges of her sobriety coin. Twenty-six years. It felt like a lifetime and a heartbeat all at once. The room was filled with others—strangers who had become confidantes, their stories woven together like a patchwork quilt of resilience. “If you live sober long enough,” Julie thought, “you’ll face joys and heartbreaks that cut to the core.” She knew this truth intimately. The laughter of newfound friends, the tears shed for lost loved ones—it was all part of the tapestry of recovery. Julie’s journey hadn’t been pretty. It had been raw, messy, and achingly real. She’d stumbled, fallen, and risen again. Her transparency was her strength, her authenticity a beacon for those still finding their way. As the owner of Julie Cole Counseling, Coaching & Consulting, LLC, Julie took a holistic approach to helping others. She understood that healing wasn’t just about abstinence; it was about rebuilding shattered lives. Her clients weren’t statistics; they were souls seeking redemption. The #loveher Podcast was her passion project—a space where authenticity reigned. Julie’s soothing voice carried stories of triumph and struggle, weaving hope into the airwaves. Listeners tuned in, nodding along as she shared her own battles—the messy divorce, the late-night cravings, the quiet victories. Twenty-five years in social work and substance use disorder counseling had etched lines of compassion on Julie’s face. She’d held trembling hands, wiped tears, and celebrated small victories. Her heart swelled when a client found their voice or a lost soul discovered purpose. Public speaking was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Julie stood before crowds, her vulnerability a superpower. She spoke of resilience, of the beauty in brokenness. Her certifications—Licensed Master Social Worker, Certified Peer Support Specialist, Certified Personal Trainer, Certified Health Coach, and Certified Nutrition Coach—were mere labels. What mattered was the fire within her—the unwavering belief that everyone deserved a second chance. At home, Julie juggled motherhood with grace. Two children, a spoiled dog, a guinea pig, two rats, and two fish—they were her heart. She taught them empathy, resilience, and the value of authenticity. They laughed together, huddled under blankets during thunderstorms, and whispered secrets late at night. And then there were her escapes—the gym, where sweat washed away worries; camping trips, where nature whispered ancient truths; hikes that led to mountaintop revelations; and travels that expanded her soul. Julie Cole—the woman who wore her scars proudly, who turned vulnerability into strength. Her journey wasn’t linear, but it was authentic. And as she sat in that room, surrounded by fellow travelers, she knew she was exactly where she needed to be.

Russell Marchese’s story is indeed a profound narrative of hope, resilience, and the enduring power of faith and love. It’s a story that resonates with many who have faced similar battles, and it serves as a beacon of light for those still navigating the path of recovery. The journey of self-discovery and the embrace of one’s spirituality can be transformative. It’s a process that often begins with the challenging acknowledgment of our own role in our struggles, leading to a deeper understanding and acceptance of ourselves. Russ’s experience underscores the importance of this self-awareness and the strength that comes from a connection with a higher power. Russ says,” Once I put GOD 1st, you 2nd, I began to love the Man in the Mirror.” Every day of sobriety is a milestone, a testament to the commitment to a life reclaimed. The clarity and freedom that come with sobriety are indeed akin to a rebirth, offering new perspectives and possibilities. Russ’s story, like so many others, is a reminder that while the road to recovery may be long and fraught with challenges, it is also paved with moments of triumph and the potential for a renewed sense of purpose. It’s a journey that not only changes the individual but also has the power to inspire and impact the lives of others. May Russ’s story continue to inspire and offer solace to those who are on their own journey towards healing and self-discovery. Thank you Russ for sharing such an inspiring account of transformation and hope. I love you and will be eternally grateful. “When the student is ready the teacher will appear”