The Mindfulness & Grief Podcast

Sometimes in grief, you feel like you're doing better. You're getting through the day. You're sleeping more. Maybe you've started to reconnect with parts of your life again. And then, out of nowhere, a wave hits. It can feel like you're right back where you started. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore Step 5 of the Mindfulness & Grief System: Getting Unstuck. This step speaks to that common experience of feeling stuck in grief, and gently reframes it. Because most of the time, you're not actually stuck. You're moving through a process that is not linear, predictable, or easy. Heather and Amanda talk about the "boomerang" nature of grief, why waves come back even when you thought you were doing better, and how the belief that you should be progressing can add another layer of suffering. They also share practical ways to shift your perspective, including working with the five mental hindrances, expressive arts, and journaling practices that help create movement when things feel heavy or stuck. You will learn: • Why grief can feel like it's going backward • What "being stuck" in grief really means • How to shift your perspective when nothing seems to change • The five mental hindrances and how they show up in grief • How expressive arts can help release what feels stuck • A powerful journaling practice using different points of view • Why "appreciation" may feel more supportive than gratitude in grief This episode is not about fixing your grief or forcing progress. It is about understanding your experience in a new way, and creating space for movement, even when things feel stuck. If you've ever thought, "I was doing so well, why does this feel so hard again?" this conversation is for you. 🧘 Timestamps: 00:00 Feeling "stuck" in grief 01:30 The boomerang metaphor 03:15 "But I was doing so well" 05:00 Why grief isn't linear 07:30 The myth of progress in grief 10:00 Acceptance vs fighting the process 13:00 Tasks of mourning vs stages of grief 16:00 What it really means to get unstuck 18:30 The five mental hindrances 22:00 Longing, resistance, and anxiety 26:00 Exhaustion and doubt in grief 30:00 The yoga philosophy perspective 33:00 Grief as energy that needs to move 36:30 Seasons of grief 40:00 Expressive arts and grief landscapes 45:00 Amanda's canvas practice 52:00 Releasing what feels stuck 56:00 Journaling from different perspectives 1:02:00 Writing from a compassionate voice 1:06:00 Appreciation vs gratitude 1:10:00 Closing reflections Resources and links: 🌿 Full show notes: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/ 💜 Join Awaken Grief Support (Free 14-day trial): https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/ 🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification: https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/ 🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop: https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/

When grief softens the initial shock, other feelings often rise to the surface. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore how compassion can support you when grief brings guilt, self-criticism, resentment, and the pain of being human. Grief does not only break the heart open. It can also make us hard on ourselves. You may judge your emotions, question your reactions, or feel guilty for what you did, did not do, or even for what you feel now. Heather and Amanda talk honestly about how common that is, especially when grief affects family dynamics and old wounds begin to surface. This is Step 3 of the Mindfulness & Grief System: Compassion for All. Compassion in grief is not about fixing pain, pretending everything is okay, or forcing yourself to be positive. It is about recognizing suffering and responding with care. That includes care for yourself, care for difficult people, and care for the grieving heart that may feel raw, overwhelmed, or alone. Heather and Amanda explore the difference between empathy, sympathy, pity, and compassion. They talk about the role of self-compassion in grief, the healing power of common humanity, and how simple practices like a hand on the heart, a compassionate mantra, or metta meditation can help soften shame and self-judgment. You will learn: • Why grief can trigger guilt, resentment, and self-criticism • The difference between empathy, sympathy, pity, and compassion • How self-compassion includes an active response of care • What Kristin Neff's three elements of compassion look like in grief • Why common humanity can ease isolation • How to create a self-compassion mantra that feels true • What metta meditation is and how it supports compassion for self and others • Why compassion is not the same as excusing harmful behavior This episode is not about getting over grief. It is not about rescuing yourself from pain. It is about learning how to meet your grief, and yourself, with kindness. If you have been feeling hard on yourself after loss, this is a gentle place to begin. 🧘 Timestamps: 00:00 There Is One Thing That Is Not Impermanent 00:49 Step 3: Compassion for All 02:54 Guilt, Old Wounds, and Unexpected Feelings 05:02 Family Tension and Resentment in Grief 06:36 Empathy, Sympathy, Pity, and Compassion 08:51 "I'm Human, and I'm Doing My Best" 11:24 Self-Care as Compassion in Action 12:06 "I Should Be Over This By Now" 15:04 What Do You Need in This Moment? 17:14 Kristin Neff's Three Elements of Compassion 18:25 Common Humanity and Not Feeling Alone 20:07 Self-Kindness in the Midst of Grief 23:25 Why Grief Groups Can Be So Healing 25:06 Creating Your Own Self-Compassion Mantra 26:15 "This Feeling Isn't Permanent" 27:36 What Compassion Is Not 30:42 Taking Care of Her Daughter 34:31 Compassion for Difficult People 36:01 Metta Meditation Explained 41:23 Adapting the Practice So It Does Not Cause More Suffering 44:55 "I'm Having a Hard Time" 45:35 "I'm Feeling Grief" 47:34 A Preview of Step 4: Vulnerability and Courage Full show notes and resources: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/ Connect with Amanda on Instagram: https://instagram.com/amandapalermo1018 Work with Heather 💜 Try Awaken Grief Support Free for 14 Days Live support, guided practices, and community for people living with grief. https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/ 🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop and Live Q&A With Heather A gentle introduction to mindfulness-based grief support with time for questions. https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/ 🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification Professional training for helpers who want to support others through grief while caring for themselves. https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/

The First Step to Calm Your Nervous System After Loss Grief doesn't just affect your heart. It affects your body. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore why grief overwhelms the nervous system and why you can't think your way out of it. When loss shakes your world, symptoms like brain fog, insomnia, body aches, anxiety, and exhaustion are not signs that you are failing. They are signs that your body is under stress. This episode introduces the first step in the Mindfulness & Grief System: Conscious Relaxation. You'll learn why calming the body comes before processing meaning, how simple focusing practices interrupt the stress cycle, and why tending to your nervous system is foundational in early grief and during grief waves. Heather and Amanda share personal experiences of shock, numbness, cognitive confusion, and somatic symptoms after loss. They discuss research on the relaxation response, practical focusing techniques such as breath counting and mantra repetition, and how small, consistent practices can restore a sense of agency. You'll also learn: • Why grief creates inflammation and physical symptoms • How to interrupt rumination through simple attention practices • What to do when sitting meditation feels impossible • How to create a sleep sanctuary after loss • Gentle journaling prompts to help your body find a voice If grief has left you feeling dysregulated, restless, or exhausted, this episode offers a grounded place to begin. You don't have to eliminate your feelings. You can start by tending to your body. 🧘 Timestamps: 00:00 You Can't Think Your Way Out of Grief 00:42 Welcome & Why the Body Comes First 02:10 Shock, Numbness & Brain Fog After Loss 05:30 When the Numbness Wears Off: Anxiety & Grief Waves 08:45 Why Grief Overwhelms the Nervous System 11:10 The First Step: Conscious Relaxation 13:40 Focusing Practices (Breath Counting & Mantra) 18:50 The Relaxation Response Explained 23:30 Movement as Meditation 27:40 Sensory Practices: Sound, Touch, Scent 30:20 Creating a Sleep Sanctuary After Loss 37:15 Reimagining the Bedroom After Losing a Partner 44:10 Journaling as a Body Practice 50:30 Giving Your Body a Voice (Writing Prompt) 55:40 The Puzzle Metaphor: Putting Pieces Back Together 58:10 This Is Your Home Base in Grief 1:01:30 Closing Reflections Full show notes and resources: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/ Connect with Amanda on Instagram: https://instagram.com/amandapalermo1018 Work with Heather 💜 Try Awaken Grief Support Free for 14 Days Live support, guided practices, and community for people living with grief. https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/ 🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop and Live Q&A With Heather A gentle introduction to mindfulness-based grief support with time for questions. https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/ 🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification Professional training for helpers who want to support others through grief while caring for themselves. https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/

The holiday season can be especially tender when you are grieving. Familiar traditions, gatherings, and quiet moments can intensify the ache of missing someone you love. Even well meaning silence from others can make the loss feel heavier and more isolating. In this episode of the Mindfulness and Grief Podcast, thanatologist, yoga therapist, and author Heather Stang talks honestly about why the holidays can be so painful, the social awkwardness many grieving people experience, and how meditation can offer a quiet place of connection when your heart feels full. Heather introduces the concept of continuing bonds and shares the Life Imprint practice, originally developed by C. J. Vickio and taught by Robert Neimeyer, as a way to honor love without forcing cheer or closure. This episode points you to a gentle guided meditation that can be practiced during the holidays or anytime you are missing your person. The reflection can also be used as a journaling practice and is suitable for both simple and complicated relationships. 🎁 Download your free Grief Sensitive Holiday Planner: HeatherStang.com/holiday-planner Includes mindful prompts and reflection exercises to help you plan the holiday season with care and compassion. You will learn: • Why missing your loved one can feel sharper during the holidays • How silence and avoidance from others can add to grief, even when intentions are good • What continuing bonds means and why many people find it comforting • How the Life Imprint practice supports connection, even in complicated relationships • Why meditation can help you sit with longing without becoming overwhelmed • How this practice fits into the Mindfulness and Grief System, Step Six, Continuing Bonds • Ways to use this reflection as a meditation or journaling practice If you find this episode helpful, please follow the podcast and consider leaving a review so others can find support when they need it most.

Holiday invitations can feel complicated when you are grieving. Even the kindest offers can bring pressure, guilt, or a sense that you should show up in ways your heart simply cannot. Whether this is your first holiday without your person or your twentieth, it is normal to feel overwhelmed by expectations, social demands, and the weight of what has changed. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, thanatologist, yoga therapist, and author Heather Stang explores why saying no is so difficult during grief and how you can make compassionate choices about the gatherings you are invited to. With grounded, practical guidance, Heather walks you through a mindful four step process to help you decide what to attend, what to decline, and how to communicate your needs with honesty and kindness. 🎁 Download your free Grief-Sensitive Winter Holiday Planner: heatherstang.com/holiday-help filled with mindful prompts and reflection exercises to guide you through the season. You will learn: • Why holiday invitations feel emotionally charged when you are grieving • How to recognise internal and external pressures that make saying no difficult • A simple four step method to help you decide what you can manage this year • How to decline invitations in ways that protect relationships and your wellbeing • Gentle ways to support yourself if you choose to say yes • Why this year is only this year, and how grief shapes but does not define future holidays

When Faith Wilcox's daughter Elizabeth began to complain about knee pain, her doctors thought it was just growing pains and she would be fine. As her pain continued, she was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer that affects pediatric patients. Through 10 months of treatment, Elizabeth remained positive and supportive of the other patients. Ultimately, Elizabeth passed away just one year after her diagnosis. In her grief, Faith was able to find moments of comfort and peace despite the things that were beyond her control. Nature has always been restorative for Faith. Walks in the woods and time on the beach helped restore her mind and spirit. She also leaned into her circle of friends, who provided additional support. Faith discovered one of her biggest relief strategies when she started journaling, after her therapist recommended she start writing to help get out some of her bottled-up feelings. Faith has since written multiple books, including Hope Is a Bright Star: A Mother's Memoir of Love, Loss, and Learning to Live Again and has started a journaling program to help others who are struggling with grief.

Until he met Patty Furino, bereaved father Dave Roberts didn't believe that the signs he kept seeing were coming from his beloved daughter, Jeannine. But soon, everything changed. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Dave shares his journey of love and loss and how the signs from his daughter transformed from triggering waves of grief into joy, and how they remind Dave that Jeannine is still close. Dave and Patty describe how Jeannine speaks through her father's new friend, fostering a deep continuing bond that allows Dave to live on after loss. When The Psychology Professor Met The Minister is co-authored by our two guests, and written from Dave's perspective and walks us through his evolution of putting aside his academic mind to being open to receiving messages from Jeannine. Patty has been his major supporter and guided him to honor and enjoy his memories but also be alive in the present.

In episode 49, bereaved father Eric Hodgdon explores how he leads a life of intention in the wake of incredible pain over the death of his daughter, Zoi, who died by suicide. He shares his fond memories of a loving and fun girl who was a sweet, supportive peer to those who knew her. Family, friends, and patients who traveled their mental health path alongside her all remember Zoi as a very special person.

The tables are turned as Heather Stang, the regular host of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, is interviewed by guest host Audrey Hughey about the new guided journal for grief, From Grief to Peace, which releases on June 1, 2021. Heather shares how she began journaling about her grief over her Uncle Doug's death in high school and the differences between free journaling and guided writing with prompts. Audrey shares how she processed her emotions over her ex-husband's death in her first thriller/novel. ​From Grief to Peace is based on the Mindfulness & Grief System developed by Heather. It offers meditation and journaling exercises to initially help bereaved people cope with the pain of loss, and eventually rewrite their post-loss narrative, all while developing healthy lifestyle habits. The new book offers a holistic approach to life after loss, weaving in memorial and meaning-making activities with personal reflection and goals to help the reader-writer move forward, which is quite different from moving on. Heather relies on evidence-based approaches, contemporary grief research, and ancient practices rooted in yoga and Buddhism, and holds a master's degree in thanatology, the study of death, dying, and bereavement.

In episode 45, Angela Kennecke shares with us her story of losing her beautiful 21-year-old daughter, Emily, to overdose. Angela and her family were just a normal family. Emily was a gifted student and cheerleader. But Emily was struggling with one of the most common problems in America — addiction. Her sudden and unexpected death changed the lives of her family forever. Through her grief, Angela wanted to keep Emily's memory alive. She originally wanted to just display some of her daughter's artwork at a local charity center. Fast forward to today and Angela now runs Emily's Hope, a foundation that wants to remove the stigma of addiction, provide financial support for treatment seekers, and bring comfort to families who have lost a loved one to addiction. If you're looking for resources for yourself or a family member, please check out the resources that are available on the Emily's Hope website.

In episode 43, New York Times-bestselling author Adam Mansbach talks with us about his new memoir, "I HAD A Brother Once," which details his grief of losing his brother by suicide a decade ago. As a writer, he struggled for nine years before he was finally able to write about his brother. Although Adam is known for his very successful novels, his new book is written poetry-style with dramatic storytelling about his life. In it, he shares how his brother David felt he had to wear masks to hide his real self and the importance of removing the masks of shame and guilt to save lives. David's death happened during a very exciting and stressful time in his life. His incredibly popular book "Go the F*** to Sleep" had just gone viral. In the midst of celebrities reading his book on social media worldwide, and conducting interviews 10 hours a day — David died. Adam suddenly found himself both struggling with loss and success at the same time.

In Episode 41, Daniel Hess talks to us about his struggle with losing his cousin after a long battle with cystic fibrosis. Daniel was only 9 years old at the time. The trauma of losing his best friend at such a young age created a void in his life that he has since tried to fill with creativity to keep the memory of his cousin alive. Daniel began writing poetry as a way to cope with his feeling of loss and to stay creative throughout his young adult life. It's been a place of solace for him. A place to express his dark thoughts and feelings in a safe environment. He has recently written a book, "Just a Boy Blaming Himself," as a reflection of looking back through the pain of his childhood experiences and how they have shaped him into the person he is today.

Neil Beresin never set out to become a chaplain. In fact, he worked in the nonprofit world for 20 years. But everything changed for him when both his parents became ill and passed away within 5 weeks of each other. This devastating loss changed the trajectory of his life. Neil is now a chaplain and counselor specializing in grief, loss, and transition, and he uses poetry in his healing work. During our interview with him, Neil shares how poetry has brought him peace and understanding even in the most troubling times. He shares with us the value of reflection. When you slow down and allow yourself to absorb the words of a poem, you are giving yourself a gift. Reflecting on the language and the metaphors used in poetry can bring tremendous comfort. The sound and music of poetry has helped Neil to provide intentional grief support to his clients, and we hope this interview helps you as well.