The Psychology of Relationships

A fulfilling sex life isn’t just about chemistry or technique—it’s about feeling comfortable enough to communicate, explore, and be vulnerable with each other. Julie & Yue are joined by licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, to explore how couples can use sex as an opportunity for deeper connection. From becoming more “cliterate” to expanding our understanding of pleasure beyond intercourse, Ian offers a practical look at creating more satisfying and connected intimacy.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why communication is essential to a satisfying sex lifeWhat it means to become more “cliterate”Why pleasure goes far beyond intercourseHow couples can explore intimacy without pressureHow sexual connection can strengthen emotional intimacyTo learn more about Ian Kerner, visit www.iankerner.comWant to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOWOur Sponsors:* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/porAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the parts of yourself you’ve spent years trying to fix are actually connected to your greatest strengths? Julie & Yue are joined by psychotherapist and Deeper Dating author Ken Page to explore how our perceived flaws can point toward the qualities that make us most authentic, passionate, and alive. Rather than trying to become more lovable, we explore what happens when we recognize our core gifts, embrace the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to hide, and choose relationships where those qualities can truly be appreciated. In this episode, you’ll learn: - How your perceived flaws can reveal your greatest gifts - Why trying to become more lovable can backfire - How to recognize the qualities that make you uniquely you - Why authenticity can lead to stronger relationships - How to find connections where your gifts are genuinely valued To learn more about Ken Page, follow him @deeper.dating and visit www.deeperdating.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Attachment styles have become one of the most popular ways to understand relationships—but they’re often reduced to a few labels on social media. Julie & Yue are joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Lauren Korshak to take a closer look at what attachment theory actually tells us about love, closeness, and security. Rather than treating attachment as a fixed identity, we explore how our patterns develop, why insecurity can show up even in secure relationships, and how awareness can help us create more compassionate and connected partnerships. In this episode, you’ll learn: -What attachment theory actually tells us about relationships How anxious and avoidant patterns develop -Why even securely attached people can feel insecure -How attachment patterns can change over time -How to use attachment as a tool rather than a label To learn more about Lauren Korshak, visit https://www.lovewellsf.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The biggest factor shaping your relationships may not be the other person—it may be the version of you that shows up in connection. Lair Torrent, LMFT and author of The Practice of Love, joins Julie & Yue to explore the different “parts” of ourselves that emerge in dating and relationships, from grounded and open to anxious or guarded. He explains how past experiences and emotional patterns influence the way we connect, and how mindfulness can help us recognize these shifts before they quietly shape our relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn: - Why different versions of yourself show up in relationships - How trauma and past experiences shape connection - The role mindfulness plays in dating and communication - How protective behaviors can create disconnection - Ways to bring more awareness and authenticity into relationships To learn more about Lair Torrent, follow him @lairtorrentholistictherapist and visit https://www.lairtorrent.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Love can make us believe that if the feelings are strong enough, everything else will work itself out. But lasting relationships require more than chemistry or attraction. Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* and Love Is Not Enough, joins Julie & Yue to unpack why people stay stuck in situationships, chase unavailable partners, or settle for relationships that no longer serve them. He explains why compatibility matters just as much as passion, how emotional patterns keep us repeating the same cycles, and why healthy relationships require both emotional connection and practical alignment. In this episode, you’ll learn: - Why love alone doesn’t guarantee a healthy relationship - How compatibility differs from chemistry and attraction - Why people stay stuck in unhealthy relationship dynamics - The role emotional patterns play in repeating cycles - How to approach relationships with both heart and clarity To learn more about Mark Manson, follow him @markmanson and visit markmanson.net Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you find yourself overthinking, seeking constant reassurance, or fearing abandonment when dating or in relationships? These patterns often signal an anxious attachment style—but anxiety doesn’t have to control your love life. In this episode, Kirstie Taylor, dating coach, writer, and author of What I Wish I Knew About Love, breaks down why anxiety heightens sensitivity to shifts in connection, how it impacts communication and conflict, and how to distinguish intuition from fear-driven reactions. In this episode, we share practical tools to strengthen self-trust, regulate anxious thoughts, and reshape core beliefs about love and worthiness. In this episode, you’ll learn: • How anxious attachment shapes your experiences in relationships • Why reassurance-seeking and overthinking happen • How to tell fear-driven reactions from intuition • Tools to strengthen self-trust and emotional regulation • How to build secure, fulfilling connection from the inside out To learn more about Kirstie Taylor, follow her @kirstietaylorr and visit https://kirstietaylor.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ever feel like you keep ending up with the same “type” of partner even when it hasn’t worked out before? You might be unconsciously choosing the wrong people and repeating patterns that keep you stuck. Julie & Yue are joined by Marc Sholes, Psychotherapist and author of Reset Your Romantic GPS, to explore why we’re drawn to familiar but unfulfilling partner types. He explains the ways attachment styles influence our choices, why awareness can help you break the cycle, and how to distinguish a rough patch from true incompatibility—so you can make healthier, more fulfilling relationship choices. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why you keep choosing the same “type” of partner • How attachment styles shape your patterns • Signs a relationship is worth working through versus letting go • Practical strategies to identify triggers and subconscious tendencies • How to make choices that lead to healthier, more aligned relationships To learn more about Marc Sholes, follow him @marcsholes and visit https://marcsholeslcsw.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Strong, lasting relationships aren’t just about chemistry or shared interests—they’re about how we relate to each other every day. Julie & Yue sit down with Dr. Adam Bandelli, psychologist and relational intelligence expert, to dive into why relational intelligence is essential for deep, meaningful connections. He shows how tuning into your partner’s emotions, responding with empathy, and communicating with intention can deepen trust, create emotional safety, and help your relationship grow stronger over time. Dr. Bandelli also breaks down the five core skills of relational intelligence, showing why empathy, attunement, and rapport impact the relationship from its early stages to months and decades in. In this episode, you’ll learn: • What Relational Intelligence is and why it matters • The five essential skills for building trust and connection • Why empathy and attunement matter more than chemistry • How relational intelligence strengthens intimacy • Ways to make your relationship more resilient To learn more about Dr. Adam Bandelli, follow him @adambandelli and visit https://bandelliandassociates.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy