The Psychology of Relationships

Strong, lasting relationships aren’t just about chemistry or shared interests—they’re about how we relate to each other every day. Julie & Yue sit down with Dr. Adam Bandelli, psychologist and relational intelligence expert, to dive into why relational intelligence is essential for deep, meaningful connections. He shows how tuning into your partner’s emotions, responding with empathy, and communicating with intention can deepen trust, create emotional safety, and help your relationship grow stronger over time. Dr. Bandelli also breaks down the five core skills of relational intelligence, showing why empathy, attunement, and rapport impact the relationship from its early stages to months and decades in. In this episode, you’ll learn: • What Relational Intelligence is and why it matters • The five essential skills for building trust and connection • Why empathy and attunement matter more than chemistry • How relational intelligence strengthens intimacy • Ways to make your relationship more resilientTo learn more about Dr. Adam Bandelli, follow him @adambandelli and visit https://bandelliandassociates.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOWOur Sponsors:* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/PORAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

With marriage rates on the decline, do people still want to get married—and why does it still carry so much emotional and cultural weight? In this episode, Julie & Yue sit down with Allison Raskin, mental health advocate, relationship coach, and author of I Do. I Think?: Conversations About Modern Marriage, to unpack what marriage looks like today, how societal pressures shape our choices, and why committing can feel both deeply personal and overwhelming. She shares her own journey from a broken engagement to marrying her now-husband along with practical guidance on navigating differing timelines, managing fear, and clarifying what you truly want versus what you’ve been told to want. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why marriage continues to hold emotional and cultural significance today • How societal expectations influence your decisions about commitment • Strategies for navigating differing timelines or desires around marriage • How to separate what you truly want from external pressures • Ways to approach commitment with clarity, confidence, and intention To learn more about Allison Raskin, follow her @allisonraskin and visit https://www.allisonraskin.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Love can feel intoxicating at the beginning—constant attention, big gestures, nonstop affection. And when it feels that good, the last thing anyone wants to question is whether it’s actually healthy. So how do you tell the difference between genuine romantic enthusiasm and manipulation disguised as devotion? In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by Dr. Diane Strachowski, licensed psychologist and relationship expert, to unpack the psychology behind love bombing and why it can be so difficult to recognize in the moment. This episode explains how early intensity can sometimes mask control, why certain attachment styles are especially vulnerable to these patterns, and how to stay open to love without ignoring red flags. In this episode, you’ll learn: • What love bombing actually is—and why it’s often misunderstood • The subtle early signs that attention and affection may be crossing into manipulation • How attachment styles can make love bombing feel especially magnetic • Why real intimacy is built on consistency rather than intensity • How to pace connection while still allowing chemistry to develop To learn more about Dr. Diane Strachowski, follow her @backtolovedoc and visit https://doctor-diane.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ever notice how wanting closeness can suddenly make you feel trapped or how independence can quietly turn into emotional distance? To continue the conversation from last week, Julie & Yue chat with Mark's now-wife Kylie McBeath, relationship educator, co-author of Liberated Love, and someone who didn’t just study avoidant patterns, but lived them. Kylie opens up about why she ended a relationship she deeply cared about and chose a “no man diet” to confront what was really driving her push–pull dynamic. This episode explores the psychology of avoidance, how self-protection can disguise itself as strength, and why stepping back from dating can sometimes be the most powerful move toward secure love. In this episode, you’ll learn: • How avoidant patterns form and why they’re often misunderstood • Why independence can mask emotional self-protection • What intentional pauses reveal about attachment and safety • How internal security is built without relying on a partner • Why slowing down can lead to more grounded, lasting connection To learn more about Kylie McBeath, follow her @beingisbeautiful and visit https://www.kyliemcbeath.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

There’s a quiet pressure many people carry: the feeling that they’re running out of time. Time to find love. Time to settle down. Time to make it all happen before the clock says otherwise. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by therapist and advocate Beth Gulotta to explore how societal timelines—especially around love, fertility, and partnership—shape our anxiety and decision-making. Through the lens of psychology, Beth breaks down how social comparison and time pressure can distort our choices, and why meeting love later in life often comes with more clarity, emotional maturity, and intention. This conversation invites a redefinition of what it means to be “on time,” while still honoring real biological and emotional realities. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why societal timelines create stress and rushed relationship decisions • How social comparison fuels anxiety around love and fertility • What psychology says about partnering later in life • How to balance biological realties with value-aligned choices • Ways to reclaim agency over your relationship and life timeline To learn more about Beth Gulotta, follow her @bethgulotta and visit https://www.bethgulotta.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Relationships don’t fall apart overnight—they erode through unresolved conflict, unmet needs, and missed opportunities for repair. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by Casey and Meygan Caston from Marriage365, marriage coaches and authors of The Marriage Habit and 365 Connecting Questions for Couples, to explore how their own marriage nearly collapsed and what it took to rebuild it. Drawing from both their personal journey and their work with hundreds of thousands of couples, they break down the patterns, expectations, and myths about marriage that often go unnoticed, and show how lasting love is possible when couples have the tools, awareness, and intentional practices to repair, reconnect, and thrive together. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why conflict isn’t the problem, but avoidance and defensiveness often are • Key green and red flags to notice early in a relationship • Cultural and modern myths about marriage that can sabotage relationships • How to rebuild emotional safety, trust, and intimacy after disconnection • Tools for maintaining a thriving, resilient relationship over the long term To learn more about Casey and Meygan, follow them @marriage365 and visit https://marriage365.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Love is supposed to feel good—so why does it so often feel confusing, activating, and emotionally exhausting? Even in the healthiest relationships, we can feel anxious, irritated, or like we’re “losing our mind,” which often leads to the quiet panic of wondering whether something is wrong with us or the relationship itself. Julie and Yue sit down with Todd Baratz, therapist and author of ‘How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind’ for a raw, unfiltered look at why love brings out our deepest insecurities, needs, and patterns. Todd breaks down why losing your mind in relationships is normal, how cognitive biases distort the way we evaluate partners, and why frustration doesn’t automatically mean you’re with the wrong person. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why Even Healthy Relationships Activate Anxiety, Doubt, and Emotional Intensity • How Cognitive Biases Shape The Way You Judge Your Partner And Your Relationships • What Frustration in Love Is Really Signaling (And What It's Not) • Why 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' Keeps People Stuck • The Question That Actually Leads to Clarity, Self-Trust, and Relational Growth To learn more about Todd, visit toddbaratz.com and follow him on Instagram @yourdiagnonsense Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Money has a way of sneaking into every corner of a relationship—date nights, living arrangements, future plans, even how we argue or apologize. And yet, it’s one of the conversations couples avoid the most. In this episode, Julie and Yue chat with Netflix host, bestselling author, and creator of Money For Couples, Ramit Sethi, to unpack the psychology behind financial tension that inevitably creeps into relationships. Ramit explains why money arguments aren’t really about money—they’re about values, fears, power dynamics, and the stories we carry about security, freedom, and worth. In this episode, you’ll learn: • The Four Money Types and How They Influence Relationships • How Different Earning Styles and Financial Habits Shape Dynamics • Why Money Fights Are Often About Emotion, Not Numbers • How to Communicate About Money Without Triggering Conflict • How to Build a Shared Financial Vision That Supports Your Relationship • Why Understanding Each Other’s Money Psychology Creates Trust and Intimacy • How to Build a “Rich Life” Rooted in Choice, Alignment, and Safety To learn more about Ramit Sethi: follow @ramit and visit https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Why are we drawn to certain people—and why do some connections deepen while others fade? In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with UC Davis professor and director of the Attraction and Relationships Research Lab, Dr. Paul Eastwick, to explore the science behind attraction and long-term compatibility. Drawing from decades of research, Paul Eastwick explains why our “ideal partner” checklist often doesn’t match who we actually connect with, how attraction can grow over time, and what psychological mechanisms—like attachment, motivated reasoning, and predictive modeling—shape the way we evaluate potential partners. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why Initial Attraction Isn’t Always a Perfect Predictor of Long-Term Compatibility • How Our Stated Preferences Differ from Who We Actually Connect With • How Repeated Interactions and Familiarity Deepen Attraction (Mere Exposure Effect) • How Attachment and Past Experiences Shape How We Form Romantic Bonds • How Predictive Models and Motivated Reasoning Influence Partner Selection • Why Emotional Intimacy and Shared Experiences Strengthen Connection Over Time • How Attraction Evolves—Sometimes in Surprising Ways—as Relationships Develop To learn more about Paul Eastwick: follow @pauleastwick and visithttps://pauleastwick.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We talk a lot about love, commitment, and compatibility—but there’s one quieter factor that determines whether a relationship can truly thrive: emotional availability. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with Connor Beaton, founder of ManTalks and author of Men’s Work, to explore why some people can hold space for your emotions and connect deeply, while others seem emotionally out of reach—even when they’re right next to you. Drawing from attachment theory, emotional regulation, and decades of coaching experience, Connor explains how emotional safety is built, why vulnerability falters without it, and what it takes to cultivate real intimacy in modern relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn: • What Emotional Availability Really Is—and Why It Matters • How Attachment Patterns Shape Your Ability to Connect • Why Emotional Safety Is the Foundation for Vulnerability • How to Recognize When a Partner Is Emotionally Present—or Not • Practical Tools to Increase Your Own Emotional Availability • How Self-Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Support Deeper Relationships • Why Facing Your Shadow Can Transform How You Show Up for Love To learn more about Connor Beaton: follow @mantalks and visit https://connorbeaton.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s easy to feel steady in love—until you and your partner aren’t moving at the same pace. When one person is ready for the next step and the other isn’t, even the healthiest relationships can start to feel uncertain. Julie and Yue sit down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Alexandra Solomon to unpack what’s really happening beneath pace discrepancies. Drawing from her groundbreaking work on relational self-awareness, Dr. Solomon explains why mismatched timing activates attachment patterns, old schemas, and deep questions about worthiness—and how couples can navigate these moments without spiraling into fear, pressure, or ultimatums. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why Pace Discrepancies Trigger Attachment, Anxiety, and Self-Doubt • How Your Past Bonds Influence the Meaning You Make in These Moments • How to Communicate Needs and Hopes Without Issuing an Ultimatum • How to Tell the Difference Between a Temporary Pause and a Fundamental Misalignment • Why One Partner Often Moves Faster (or Slower) — and What That Reveals About Their Inner World • How to Stay Connected, Curious, and Compassionate Through Mismatched Timing • When to Keep Moving Forward Together — and When It Might Be Time to Walk Away To learn more about Dr. Solomon: follow @dr.alexandra.solomon, listen to Reimagining Love, and read her books Loving Bravely, Taking Sexy Back, and Love Every Day. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When love feels hard, it’s easy to forget why we chose it in the first place. But remembering why we love—and what drives our need for connection—is often what helps us stay grounded. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin to explore what biology, psychology, and evolution can teach us about the most deeply human experience we have. Drawing from two decades of research, Dr. Machin reveals how our earliest attachments, neurochemical patterns, and evolutionary instincts shape how we love, who we choose, and why connection is so essential to our wellbeing. In this episode, you’ll learn: How Evolution and Early Attachment Form Your Blueprint for Love How Brain Chemistry Drives Attraction, Bonding, and Long-Term Connection How Different Forms of Love—Romantic, Familial, Queer, Platonic, Polyamorous—Function in the Brain Why Love Can Feel Addictive—and the Psychology Behind Coercive or Unhealthy Dynamics How to Make More Conscious, Intentional Choices in How You Love Why Love Is the Single Most Important Factor in Human Health and Meaning To learn more about Dr Anna Machin: follow @dr_amachin and visit: https://annamachin.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/POR Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The reality is: no relationship is perfect. Conflict happens. Sometimes we hurt each other — even in the healthiest partnerships. But what truly matters is how we respond. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with licensed therapist Vienna Pharaon and men’s work leader Connor Beaton to explore why repair — not perfection — is the real foundation of a healthy relationship. Drawing from their own lived experience (including navigating new parenthood) and the work they do with couples every day, Vienna and Connor break down how accountability, compassion, and intentional repair can turn moments of rupture into opportunities for deeper connection.In this episode, you’ll learn:How to Practice Real Accountability in Your RelationshipHow to Repair After Conflict in a Way That Builds TrustHow to Understand the Patterns You Bring from Your Family of OriginHow to Communicate During Tense Moments Without EscalatingHow to Reconnect Emotionally After You’ve Hurt Each OtherHow to Stay a Team Through Stress, Change, and New Life TransitionsTo learn more about Vienna: follow @mindfulmft and visit: https://viennapharaon.com/To learn more about Connor: follow @mantalks and visit https://connorbeaton.com/Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOWOur Sponsors:* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/PORAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy