The School of Life

We are – almost all of us – deeply attracted to the idea of being normal. But what if our idea of ‘normal’ isn’t normal? A plea for a broader definition of an important term. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/ibZBh Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/_tNtH FURTHER READING “It really matters what we think of as ‘being normal,’ because we are collective creatures. We’re acutely receptive to group dynamics and sensitive to where we fit in – or the ways in which we don’t. No matter how much we praise individualism and see ourselves as unique we are, in fact, deeply influenced by our picture of what is ‘normal’ in our society…” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/Uw3ULy MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Tomás Pichardo-Espaillat https://vimeo.com/tomatico #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/ Can world events drive you mad? Via Virginia Woolf's tragic tale, see how political stress deeply impacts mental health, especially for the vulnerable. Understand the toll and build resilience. #PoliticalAnxiety #MentalHealth #Resilience #VirginiaWoolf #Psychology Unlock all the content of The School of Life with a subscription to our podcast, articles, videos, and exercises, specially tailored to your needs. Get weekly insights for better relationships, deeper self-knowledge, and inner calm straight to your inbox. Sign up for more ideas, plus 10% off your first shop order: https://www.theschooloflife.com/signup/ You can read more on this and other subjects in our articles, here: https://www.theschooloflife.com/article/wild-advice-for-those-who-have-lost-their-minds-over-an-ex/ “The world is not short of advice for those who are struggling to get over their exes. The problem is how much of it is extremely sensible and therefore, in its way, utterly ineffective, for what we are dealing with in heartbreak is not some administrative malfunction for which one or two handy pointers will swiftly return a sufferer to the norm, but a wholesale and long-term loss of command over one’s emotional constitution – for which the most apposite response may be limitless acknowledgement of the scale of the crisis, unbounded compassion and a heavy…” OUR COLLECTIONS https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpcEwc0qydf2jSszQFSht81E https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpckOvZZ_AZjD7WM2p9-6NBv https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpeUL1vz9Su7OmeghBDgmj7X https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpeypJMHfNbJ4RAFkRtmAN3P https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28XmpcpxBm1RoGRx4mVKNRIrKkG https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28Xmpcp7jXVszdNruKUtHZ2zuZb https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28Xmpfv2COuuJaKzy6E2n8nSMdi https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwxNMb28Xmpc1qCJ6RYYh4rKNOOlKtFIK SOCIAL MEDIA Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theschooloflife?lang=en CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Natalia Biegaj https://www.nb-animation.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Graeme Probert www.gpmotion.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We worry so much about lots of things that turn out never to happen... How can we stop? FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://b4f4.short.gy/RYv9Nq “We spend a lot of our lives worrying but one of the basic things we almost never remember to do is to go back and check how our worries fared against reality. For example, one week, we might be worried about running out of money; the next of being sued by a contractor at work; the third about having offended a friend, the fourth of being brought down by a rumour on social media and the fifth about leaving out something key from our tax returns. The worries go on and on, shifting relentlessly from one target to another - ruining our precious time on earth in the process. What we seldom ever get around to doing - once the event is past - is pausing to compare the scale of the worry with what actually happened in the end. We are too taken up with the next topic of alarm ever to return for a composed audit…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-business/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Léon Moh-Cah http://leonmohcah.com Title animation produced in collaboration with Graeme Probert www.gpmotion.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s remarkably hard to imagine what it might be like inside our minds. But doing so helps us to see that the real task of thinking should involve throwing a spotlight on our elusive vague thoughts. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/uu5xK Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/otaCs The School of Life runs a global online psychotherapy service that assists clients from over 40 countries. To find out more and book a session today, please visit our website: https://t.ly/xP3EL FURTHER READING "The most striking feature of our minds is how little we understand them. Though we inhabit ourselves, we seldom manage to make sense of more than a fraction of who we are. It can be easier to master the dynamics of another planet than it can be to grasp what is at play in the folds of our own brains." MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Mike Booth https://www.youtube.com/user/somegreybloke #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some of the trouble of long-term relationships comes from the vows we say at the beginning. We should learn to reformulate what we say when we enter marriages. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/9kHa2 Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/Bog8x FURTHER READING “Modern societies are deeply invested in the idea of big, glamorous weddings. We have evolved highly-detailed collective ideas about what a proper wedding is supposed to be like, down to the specialised floral arrangements, seat covers, presents for bridesmaids and the correct order of the speeches.…” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/0BWnFc MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Hannah Jacobs https://www.hellohannahjacobs.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

‘Perfectionists’ are generally held in high-esteem: praised for their self-discipline and refusal to compromise. Yet in truth, the trait is a manifestation of self-hatred - and must be overcome if we are ever to feel truly fulfilled. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/XRkXM Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/-sZ00 FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/2Wbg74o “Part of our problem as a species is that we’re troublingly good at making things perfect. We can set our minds on an extraordinary goal and – with heroic sacrifice, thousands of hours of effort, many wrong turns and periods of intense despair – we can reach the target. We can pull off a masterwork, we can exceed all normal expectations, we can triumph and awe – and advance humankind…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Gemma Green-Hope http://www.gemmagreenhope.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Attachment theory refers to a set of ideas formulated by psychologists in the 1960s that gives us an exceptionally useful guide to how we behave in relationships. Knowing whether we are secure, anxious or avoidant in our attachment patterns gives us a vocabulary with which to get on top of some very tricky dynamics and helps us grow into more predictable and more joyful companions in love. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/dlCF4 Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/qQa9X FURTHER READING “One of the greatest questionnaires in the history of 20th-century psychology had a modest start in the pages of a local Colorado newspaper The Rocky Mountain News in July 1985. The work of two University of Denver psychologists Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver, the questionnaire asked readers to identify which of three statements most closely reflected who they were in love.” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Julia Marchowska https://marchowskajulia.wixsite.com/mysite Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re used to being very down on so-called ‘needy’ people. But perhaps – in many situations – the problem doesn’t lie so much with the apparently ‘needy’ party, but with the person describing their lover as such. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/SYB-D Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/XDI7K FURTHER READING “The ‘needy’ person is a stock figure of caricature: they call too much, they cry when you leave to get a glass of water, they feel put out when you check your phone, they were upset when you watched a film without them. We hate needy people a lot. But let’s look at this another way. There are, of course, a few pathologically dependent people at large, but a lot of the time, far more than is generally accepted, the person who has the problem isn’t the ‘needy’ person at all, it is us; the ones who are doing the accusing…” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/7wa7or MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Julia Veldman http://www.juliaveldmanc.nl/ #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Loving others is not always easy; particularly since so many people behave in distinctly unloveable ways. The secret to a more loving attitude lies in remembering the essentially childlike aspects of their characters. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/zqtDW Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/cT4Bi FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/38uxaS1 “Perhaps the finest way to develop a loving attitude towards other people is to recall, in the face of their difficulty, that we are, in the end, all children. The claim is an odd one. Adults are clearly not children. They have powers of reasoning that quite outstrip those of younger people, they have options and a sound grasp of right and wrong, they are capable of causing serious damage; they should know better…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Deanca Rensyta https://www.deancarensyta.com/about Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Few of us consider ourselves capable of hurting others. But everyone has the capacity to cause profound psychological damage - and we should keep this fact in mind when dealing with our fellow humans. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/nROn7 Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/jqWrR FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-we-can-hurt-without-thinking/ "A lot of evil is done in the world by people who can’t imagine that they have any power to hurt anyone. It’s their sense that nothing is at stake in their behaviour towards others that leads them to ignore the rules of politeness and humanity – and to kick people as if they were plated in armour. They are – in this respect – paying homage to childhood. Think of the situation of a young child, of perhaps six, who has fun mocking a parent’s double chin or the wrinkles around their eyes. To this child, the parent is still, in many ways, an invulnerable deity. They live in a remote, impressive world of work, credit cards, driving and the news. How could someone of such stature be hurt by a comment about their less than perfect physique by a tiny person who can’t spell properly?... " MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Natalia biegaj https://www.nb-animation.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love has many very dark sides. It is best to whisper them very quietly to ourselves – and those who are ready to listen. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/6RGkh Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/0lOoT MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Directed by Kathrin Steinbacher Animation and storyboard by Kathrin Steinbacher, Emily Downe, Flora Caulton and Hannah McNally Sound by Tom Rosenthal and Hannah McNally http://www.kathrinsteinbacher.com https://vimeo.com/user15871241 http://www.emilydowne.co.uk http://www.hannahmcnally.co.uk http://www.floracaulton.com #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The fastest route to confidence is to stop being so attached to one’s dignity and seriousness; and plainly admit that one is – of course – an idiot. We all are. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/fVoVx Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/ogkey The School of Life runs a global online psychotherapy service that assists clients from over 40 countries. To find out more and book a session today, please visit our website: https://t.ly/xP3EL FURTHER READING “The topic of confidence is too often neglected by serious people: we spend so much time acquiring technical skills, so little time practising the one virtue that will make those skills effective in the world...” You can read more on this and other topics here: https://goo.gl/35CfLG MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Steve West http://www.lazychief.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The real reason we may destroy ourselves isn’t really to do with politics or economics or even warfare. It has to do with our minds. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/I8x8c Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/Y_oUW FURTHER READING “One day, if human civilisation ever wipes itself out, aliens or one of our successors will cast an eye on our ruined planet and ask themselves what ever happened to homo sapiens. Their answer might look a little like this. The root cause won’t be the specific catastrophe, conflict or devastation that eradicates us; the problem will begin with the architecture of the human brain....” You can read more on this and other topics here: https://goo.gl/clEJ1y MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on CAPITALISM in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLcapitalism SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Nick Hilditch http://nickhilditch.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices