The Skillful Podcast

What DBT skill do you use when your emotion fits the facts? One option is to work on changing the facts. The skill of Problem Solving offers a structured framework to help you change situations that cause painful emotions. Problem Solving begins, like many of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, by naming your emotion. Next, identify your goal in solving the problem and come up with a solution to meet your goal. Break the solution down into small steps. Finally, take action. Check in with your Wise Mind when using this skill, because Emotion Mind may distort facts or obscure solutions. Practicing this skill can feel like a lot! This episode walks you through each part of this multi-layered skill. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed The "What" Skills of Mindfulness Check the Facts Opposite Action Resources DBT Skills Handouts and Worksheets Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Once you have grasp of the DEAR MAN skill, you might find yourself getting stuck when you try to use it in difficult interactions. Maybe the other person pushes back, tries to change the subject, or refuses to engage fairly. While we can't force anyone to do anything, we can continue to use our skills to stay as effective as possible during heated moments. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed DEAR MAN Introduction to Distress Tolerance & the STOP skill The "What" Skills of Mindfulness The "How" Skills of Mindfulness Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Shame is one of the most painful emotions we can experience. This episode explores what shame is, when the emotion is useful (and when it's not), and skills to help you cope when shame threatens to overwhelm you. Shame is a social emotion that motivates us to repair transgressions that might result in us being excluded from a group we want (or need) to belong to. Many of us, though, experience a lot of unjustified shame, where we assume we will be rejected if parts of ourselves are revealed. DBT Skills Discussed Check the Facts For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

In this episode, Marielle and Ed discuss the emotion of anger. In its most useful form, anger moves us to protect and defend ourselves and those we care about. Many people, though, find anger frightening because they have witnessed destructive expressions of anger such as emotional or physical violence. This episode unpacks the emotion of anger so you can understand it in yourself and potentially in others. Sometimes anger fits the facts, and sometimes faulty interpretations can intensify anger, making us believe that we are being treated unfairly or that things should be different than they are. Skills such as Observing and Describing Emotions, Paced Breathing, Check the Facts and Opposite Action can be particularly helpful in responding to anger effectively. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed Observing and Describing Emotions Check the Facts Opposite Action Paced Breathing Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

This episode is an overview of the core Interpersonal Effectiveness skills in DBT, focusing on clarifying objectives, DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST. There are a lot of acronyms in the Interpersonal Effectiveness module! Memorizing what each letter of the acronym stands for, especially DEAR MAN, can help you access the skill when you most need it. The best way to memorize the DEAR MAN script is to write it out again and again until you've mastered it. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed DEAR MAN GIVE FAST Validation Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Do you find it hard to speak up for yourself in relationships? If so, this 2-part series on how to assert yourself may help you understand why it can feel so hard to ask for things or say no in different types of relationships. In order to be able to assert yourself, you first need to know what you want and don't want. Sometimes this is harder that it seems. If you've spent a lifetime minimizing or denying your needs, it may be hard to get in touch with what matters to you most. Once you've identified your needs, you have to trust that your needs matter as much as everyone else's. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed Myths about Interpersonal Effectiveness Check the Facts Opposite Action Build Mastery DEAR MAN Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

This episode is the 2nd part of an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, focusing on skills that can help you be in Emotion Mind less often. You can find part 1 here. The skills discussed in this episode may not have an immediate impact on how you're feeling, but regular application of these skills over time builds emotional resilience and flexibility. DBT Skills Discussed Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Short-Term Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Long-Term Build Mastery Cope Ahead PLEASE Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

This episode explores how to apply mindfulness skills to help you manage distressing thoughts using the DBT skill called Mindfulness of Current Thoughts. Thoughts can cause a lot of suffering. Often, thoughts about events are based on assumptions, judgments, or interpretations rather than on facts. The core of this skill is to notice thoughts as just thoughts, or sensations of the brain, rather than as fact or truth. This can help lower emotional distress and reactivity. Mindfulness of Current Thoughts helps you change your relationship with your thoughts rather than changing the thoughts themselves. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today, we take a deep dive into working with judgments. Judgments about ourselves and others can increase emotional suffering and negatively impact relationships. Judgments are often assumptions, interpretations, or myths that we add to the facts. We then tend to mistake our judgments for facts. This episode explores how to notice all of the subtle and often habitual ways judgments show up, as well as how to shift into a nonjudgmental stance. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

The Distress Tolerance skills in DBT offer creative ways to get through challenging situations without making things worse. Today's episode is Part 1 of an overview of Distress Tolerance as a whole, with a special focus on change-oriented skills. When emotional distress is high, there can be an intense desire to do something to make the distress stop. Very often, when we numb or distance ourselves from distressing emotions, we create new problems. The DBT skills discussed in today's episode help you respond to hard emotions in ways that you won't regret. These skills are also helpful when you need to get things done but you're too overwhelmed to get started or think clearly. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast/ Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today's episode is a response to a listener question about procrastinating making progress towards life goals. Marielle and Ed explore the emotions that underlie urges to put off doing what needs to get done. For some people, procrastination is a habitual response, no matter what the task. For other people, procrastination is a response to specific unpleasant tasks. Either way, procrastination often leads to feelings of shame and low self-worth. Procrastination also can create secondary problems, meaning that not taking care of a task or problem often leads to new problems. Marielle and Ed discuss skills to help you change this common and challenging cycle. DBT Skills Discussed Opposite Action Check the Facts Mindfulness of Current Thoughts Self-soothing Build Mastery Radical Acceptance For full show notes, visit our website. Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today, Marielle and Ed discuss the D in DBT: Dialectics. Dialectics helps us remember that two seemingly opposing forces can both be true, change is the only constant, and that we are all connected. When emotions are heightened, either/or thinking can get us stuck and limit our ability to think and creatively problem solve. Dialectics encourages us to move away from either/or thinking and towards both/and thinking. For example, you can love someone and be very upset with them. You can want to work hard and also want to take breaks. You can be serious and silly. Dialectics also reminds us that change is happening all the time and that we can learn to work with change in ourselves and others rather than fighting against it. For full show notes, visit our website. DBT Skills Discussed Nonjudgmentalness Radical Acceptance Opposite Action Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.