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Recent episodes
Co-parenting and being a single Dad
Jun 1, 2026
46m 25s
Have you heard the good news?
Apr 21, 2026
1h 10m 36s
Love This World
Feb 22, 2026
1h 03m 11s
Into the Flow of Perceptions
Feb 6, 2026
1h 11m 02s
What is God?
Jan 10, 2026
59m 52s
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| Date | Episode | Topics | Guests | Brands | Places | Keywords | Sponsor | Length | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6/1/26 |  Co-parenting and being a single Dad✨ | co-parentingsingle dad+3 | — | — | — | co-parentingsingle dad+3 | — | 46m 25s | |
| 4/21/26 |  Have you heard the good news?✨ | Christianityquotes+3 | — | — | — | ChristianityBishop John Spong+3 | — | 1h 10m 36s | |
| 2/22/26 |  Love This World✨ | mindfulnesspeace+4 | — | Natural Great Peace | — | natural great peacemind+4 | — | 1h 03m 11s | |
| 2/6/26 |  Into the Flow of Perceptions✨ | perceptionself+3 | — | David Hume | — | perceptionself+3 | — | 1h 11m 02s | |
| 1/10/26 |  What is God?✨ | Godmystery+3 | — | — | — | Godmystery+3 | — | 59m 52s | |
| 11/28/25 |  Tao Te Ching - Verse Four✨ | Taoismphilosophy+3 | — | Tao Te Ching | — | Tao Te ChingVerse 4+5 | — | 1h 04m 44s | |
| 10/22/25 |  The ones who like us back✨ | relationshipsself-acceptance+1 | — | School of Life Quote | — | relationshipsself-acceptance+3 | — | 1h 03m 01s | |
| 9/26/25 |  Loneliness Vs Solitude✨ | lonelinesssolitude+5 | — | — | — | lonelinesssolitude+4 | — | 56m 53s | |
| 8/26/25 |  Attraction✨ | attractionrelationships+3 | — | — | — | attractionrelationships+3 | — | 1h 17m 05s | |
| 8/14/25 |  Radical Honesty✨ | honestyradical honesty+3 | — | WikipediaEsquire+4 | — | radical honestyrigorous honesty+3 | — | 1h 01m 16s | |
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| 6/30/25 |  Is there a higher purpose to the universe?✨ | higher purposeuniverse+4 | — | AAA New Earth | — | higher orderconsciousness+5 | — | 1h 00m 15s | |
| 6/16/25 |  Talking neurodiversity and mental health with those who don't get it | Sam and Joe answer listener Lou's question which is:"How do you talk about mental health or neurodiversity with people who don’t get it?"Image: Noah Buscher | 1h 10m 12s | ||||||
| 6/2/25 |  Reactivity | Sam and Joe take on listener Liv’s topic about reaction, reactivity and being “triggered”. This leads to personal reflections on responses to geopolitical events and other things in life that lead them to react strongly. Some big world problems get a thorough going over and some interpersonal beefs get ironed out. Image: Johannes Plenio | 1h 22m 48s | ||||||
| 5/17/25 |  Tao Te Ching - Verse 2 | Sam and Joe reunite to tackle Verse Two of the Tao Te Ching:Everybody on earth knowingthat beauty is beautifulmakes ugliness.Everybody knowingthat goodness is goodmakes wickedness. For being and nonbeingarise together;hard and easycomplete each other;long and shortshape each other;note and voicemake the music together;before and afterfollow each other. That’s why the wise souldoes without doing,teaches without talking.The things of this worldexist, they are;you can’t refuse them. To bear and not to own;to act and not lay claim;to do the work and let it go:for just letting it gois what makes it stay. | 1h 03m 17s | ||||||
| 4/6/25 |  Tao Te Ching - Verse 1 | Sam and Joe discuss Verse One of the Tao Te Ching and how it relates to their own experience of reality. TAO called TAO is not TAO.Names can name no lasting name.Nameless: the origin of heaven and earth.Naming: the mother of ten thousand things.Empty of desire, perceive mystery.Filled with desire, perceive manifestations.These have the same source, but different names.Call them both deep-Deep and deep again deep:The gateway to all mystery.76 translations of Chapter 1 - https://www.taoistic.com/taoteching/taoteching-chapter1-versions.htmThank you to Kate for asking about a refeeence, which reminded me to add this! You are an inspiration as a listener and correspondent.Characters: https://www.taoistic.com/images/taoteching-verse1.pngCreators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Sam Ellis - Host Click here to view the episode transcript. | 53m 54s | ||||||
| 1/12/25 |  Desiderata - Go placidly amidst the haste | Sam and Joe discuss the poem Desiderata and how it relates to their experience of life on earth.DesiderataGo placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.by Max Ehrmann ©1927 | 1h 09m 25s | ||||||
| 11/15/24 |  Making the darkness conscious | Sam and Joe are back after a long break with a juicy quote from their old friend Carl Jung. Myths, archetypes, figures of light, dark caves with dragons and treasure, it's a wild ride. Enjoy! | 43m 03s | ||||||
| 5/25/24 |  Just One Thing - Jack Kornfield | What we take to be a self is tentative, fictitious, constructed by clinging, a temporary identification with some parts of experience. Self arises, solidifying itself, like ice floating in water. Ice is actually made of the same substance as water. Identification and clinging harden the water into ice. In a similar way, we sense ourself as separate. Jack Kornfield - The Wise HeartThis realization that the separate self is an illusion must be one of the most useful things I've ever learned. I spent most of my life assuming that I was a separate self-contained unit and I felt disconnected from those around me. From the universe as a whole. But where exactly is this seat of the self? Where's the little Joe who's up there in my head, directing everything? Where is the seat of attention? If I look for myself, where do I find myself? I find a constant flow of sense data, sights, sounds, smells, temperature. I find thoughts. But who are these thoughts occurring to?As Jack Kornfield says, identification and clinging harden the water into ice. The closest thing I can find to a separate self is this contraction in my chest that seems to create some kind of locus in time and space. But actually I am in no way separate from the flow. This has been seen through for me in meditation. What I find in meditation, if I have a good session, is I drop into a much larger, possibly infinite, ocean of awake awareness. Which mostly has a fairly neutral quality, but there's actually a lovingness there. A gentle sense of support. And I find this encouraging to say the least.Of course, I have a social self and I need to function. And go to work and perform my roles in society. But there's no need to constantly reify the separate self, this particle, somehow split off from the rest of the universe. What I actually find is an openness, a sort of infinite openness, where I used to imagine my separate self to be. Jack Kornfield talks about ice and water. I've heard it talked about in terms of a wave. A wave that somehow thinks it's separate from the ocean. Or a sunbeam that's forgotten it's part of the sun. I'm a part of something much bigger than I always took myself to be. But it's also something incredibly simple. It's just the present moment. I'm not separate to you who's reading this. I really am just part of this flow.I only care about this because I guess I've always just wanted to know the truth. I guess I've always suffered feeling so separate from things around me. It's a great relief when I realize and drop into the fact that I'm this open, loving awareness. And I can then accept everything just exactly the way it is in the present moment. After all, what other choice, do I really have?Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host This is part of an ongoing series of reflections by Joe on readings. He's also posting writing at https://joeloh.substack.com Image: courtesy of Craig over at https://wish-art.blog---------------------More about the author of today's quote:Jack Kornfield (born 1945) is an American writer and teacher in the Vipassana movement in American Theravada Buddhism.[1] He trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, Burma and India,[2] first as a student of the Thai forest master Ajahn Chah and Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma. He has taught mindfulness meditation worldwide since 1974. In 1975, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein, and subsequently[clarification needed] in 1987, Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. Kornfield has worked as a peacemaker and activist, organized teacher training, and led international gatherings of Buddhist teachers including the Dalai Lama. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_KornfieldWebsite | jackkornfield.comMore about The Wise Heart | 3m 56s | ||||||
| 5/25/24 |  Just One Thing - Eckhart Tolle | The root of this physical urge is a spiritual one. The longing for an end to duality, a return to the state of wholeness. Sexual union is the closest you can get to this state on the physical level. This is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer. But sexual union is no more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss. As long as it is unconsciously sought as a means of salvation, you are seeking the end of duality. On the level of form where it cannot be found. You were given a tantalizing glimpse of heaven. But you are not allowed to dwell there.And you find yourself again in a separate body. Eckhart Tolle The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual EnlightenmentThis is the fifth in a series of reflections by Joe on quotes he found helpful or striking. He has some good writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com/Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Internet Archive has a free version of The Power of Now at https://archive.org/details/ThePowerOfNowEckhartTolle_201806/page/n11/mode/2upSource:The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenmentpresents itself as a discussion about how people interact with themselves and others. The concept of self-reflection and presence in the moment are presented along with simple exercises for the achievement of its principles. Published in the late 1990s,[1] the book was recommended by Oprah Winfrey[2] and has been translated into 33 languages.[3] As of 2009, it was estimated that three million copies had been sold in North America.[4] Author: Eckhart Tolle, Subjects: Spirituality, Psychology, 1997, Namaste Publishing, 1999 New World Library, 236 pagesAbout the author:Eckhart Tolle (/ˈɛkɑːrt ˈtɒlə/ EK-art TOL-ə; German: [ˈɛkhaʁt ˈtɔlə]; born Ulrich Leonard Tölle, 16 February 1948) is a German-born spiritual teacher[1][2] and self-help author. His books include The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (1997), A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (2005) and the picture book Guardians of Being (2009).Tolle came to prominence as a self-help author in the U.S. and internationally beginning in 2000, after Oprah Winfrey promoted his books in 2000 and 2005 and created webinars for him in 2008. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_TolleA longer summary of the book here: https://medium.com/@saadwrkacnt/a-deep-dive-into-the-power-of-now-by-eckhart-tolle-ac6446b0aa7c------------------ That's from Eckhart Tolle from The Power of Now. I've always had the sense when it comes to sex, that it's more than just a couple of animals, rutting. There always seem to be a lot more going on in that realm for me and I do think it is a sense of oneness. The self dropping away. A merging with another person. A deep connection that I really haven't found in any other way. But also maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm putting too much on sex, and it is just a physical act with no meaning. But when I found this piece of writing, it really spoke to me about my experience of sex. But as he says, it's no more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness. An instant of bliss. There's a much greater oneness, that's quite hard to talk about, that can be referred to as non-duality. A sense of nothing being separate. A sense of only the world, the entire world, existing in this present moment. Which is really what the book, The Power of Now is all about. And it is a book I've re-read about four times now. He does a good job of talking about something that's very hard to put into words. But I really believe from my own experience that it's duality that is the illusion and it's oneness that is the truth. So all the separateness and loneliness and apartness that I feel, it's actually an illusion. That brief glimpse of heaven that can happen during sex, it's actually a glimpse of reality. It's actually breaking out of the illusion. But I know for myself, it can become obsessive to pursue those moments. And then I head into something which is more like addiction. And at that point, I'm even further away from the oneness that I'm seeking than I ever was before. I think there's an incredible power around sex and love and I think that I'm someone who's been sold a crock in terms of romanticism and the idea that the right person will complete me, make me feel whole and resolve everything. So it's this tricky balance for me of. Seeing the spirituality in sex. But realizing that for me, It's my spiritual life that's going to give me that sense of wholeness and oneness and connection with the universe. And if I keep trying to find it in fleeting moments of peace I'm only gonna end up unsatisfied. I know what it is to go towards oneness but it's not something that’s easy for me to explain. But I know what it feels like. And for me, it's really about seeing through the illusions and seeing through 150 years of romanticism and seeing through Hollywood and advertising and everything that's led me to believe that the only way to find happiness and contentment is to find the one. But the reality is I'm the one I've always been looking for and home has always been right here. And when I've looked for it in other places, other than deep down within, it's caused me so much pain. Really the majority of pain I've had in my life has been in this area. But the high’s have been high too. I guess for me, developing a spiritual life is about reassessing everything. Starting from scratch. And a reading like this really makes me question a lot of things that I took for granted. But also explain some things to me. Like, why have always seen sex is so profound and meaningful. When I know to a lot of people, it's just a bit of fun. And it's really no big deal. For me, I have unconsciously seen it as a means of salvation and I really hope that I can start looking somewhere else. Probably deep down within, for that feeling of okayn... | 5m 35s | ||||||
| 5/25/24 |  Just One Thing - Joseph Campbell | “I have really found when I look around that the romantic love I see is this ideal, the anima. The anima is the ideal that you carry within yourself that you put onto the different entities out there and you unite with that. Pretty soon you see through the projection. And then what happens?”Transcript:That's Joseph Campbell from an interview he did. I won’t pretend to be an expert on what the anima is but I took note of this because it resonated with me. I can see that I've done this throughout my adult life. It's to project something, onto a woman in my case. And then basically have a relationship with that projection.And there's an incredible high that comes from doing that. And they become perfected in your mind. And quite often I can take photos of women when I'm in this state, they will be sitting in a café or wherever, and it will be a particularly attractive photo of them. And quite often they get some kind of high out of it too.But as Joseph Campbell says:“Pretty soon you say through the projection. And then what happens?”Well, in my case, what happens is I tend to end the relationship. And often the women are left hurt and confused about what went wrong. And it reminds me of the Joni Mitchell quote about monogamy and how if all you ever have is short-term relationships and casual dating then basically, you’re just dating yourself over and over again. Telling the same stories, revealing the same small parts of yourself, and having the same fun. Whereas to really go deep with someone and commit and really get into the complexities of getting to know someone is to have a much deeper experience. But I think that moves you past romantic love and chemistry and all the hedonism that's inherent in all those chemicals floating around. I think that moves you to something that maybe feels a lot more ordinary a lot of the time. That slow layering process of really getting to know one person. And sitting here now I can see that that is an ideal for me. The problem I have is whenever I meet a new person, I tend to project my anima onto them and have the same relationship over and over again. I’m trying to get out of that trap and move onto hopefully something more profound.Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Image by Craig: writing and sharing pictures of his current travels with the beloved missus and greyhound over at wish-art.blog-----------Sam here. This is part of an ongoing series from Joe, of short personal reflections on quotes found during reading, usually on spirituality, and psychology. Joe is writing at https://joeloh.substack.comJoseph Campbell is also one of my go-to teachers. Not necessarily an authority on up to date folklore, but certainly someone who can open you up to new ideas and give you courage to face fears and challenges. Campbell has helped many people greatly with perhaps one the hardest things in life, to actually face our true purposes and choose to move towards lives of greater meaning and yes, love.Reading about anima/animus, I found an interesting summary of Jung's four levels of Eros (erotic romantic love) associated with development/integration of the anima. Maturation of romantic love felt towards women, moves from:1. Eve: desire, needs, nourishment, security and love2. Helen: recognition of women's intelligence, competences and achievements in their own right3. Mary: Righteous, paragon of virtue: recognition of women's moral accomplishments I would say4: Sophia: finally recognising women as wise and fully human, *gasp*, equal, and not at all an object.-----------I also found Maria Popova's wonderful article in the Marginalian, a great match with Joe's reflection today. Reviewing Pathways to Bliss, Campbell's book on love, purpose and reality, she also quotes Anais Nin, Zen teacher D.T Suzuki, Stendahl, Dan Savage and the poet Rilke. Popova offers a striking synthesis drawing on many sources, persuading us powerfully that embracing imperfection and compassion is the path to love and meaning. Joseph Campbell on Why Perfectionism Kills Love and the Pathway to Bliss in Romantic RelationshipsKindred Media has some powerful articles by Amy Wright Glenn, who works as a yoga teacher, doula and chaplain. Clearly she is someone who specialises in helping people at life's most difficult moments. She tells stories of love, grief, bliss and purpose. "Much of our experience of love’s intensity is due to our search for the other part of our original selves. According to Aristophanes, no earthly joy can compare to this reunification." I welcome the superb clarity she brings to Campbell's ideas and her own insight. While it’s human nature to sort through stories for meaning, I agree with Campbell about the supremacy of experience over meaning... Feeling is primary. Fully feeling brings integration and is the key to healing life traumas. Meaning comes later, if at all.Amy Wright Glenn in the same article, gives us a poignant outline of Campbell's notion of three kinds of love: Agape (universal sacred love), Eros (sexual), and Amor (romantic) with key observations about each. Highly recommended! https://kindredmedia.org/2015/03/joseph-campbell-love-and-follow-your-bliss/ Joseph John Campbell (March 26, 1904 – October 30, 1987) was an American writer. He was a professor of literature at Sarah Lawrence College who worked in comparative mythology and comparative religion. His work covers many aspects of the human experience. Campbell's best-known work is his book The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1949), in which he discusses his theory of the journey of the archetypal hero shared by world mythologies, termed the monomyth.Since the publication of The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Campbell's theories have been applied by a wide variety of modern writers and artists. His philosophy has been summarized by his own often repeated phrase: "Follow your bliss."[6] He gained recognition in Hollywood when George Lucas credited Campbell's work as influencing his Star Wars saga.[7] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_CampbellFor more great quotesfrom Campbell https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Joseph_Campbell | 3m 04s | ||||||
| 5/25/24 |  Just One Thing - Alain de Botton | To be a loving person is to wrestle with a profoundly improbable idea: that however modest our position in society might be, however much we may have been maltreated in the past, however mesmerised we are by the deplorable behaviour of powerful individuals, however shy and frail we are, we are constantly capable of causing other people significant hurt. Alain de Botton in A More Loving World: How to increase compassion, kindness and joyCreators & Guests Joe Loh - Host This is the second of an ongoing series by Joe: short reflections on quotes he captured and shared with Ali and Sam while reading (usually books on spirituality, psychology, consciousness, religion etc). Joe is writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com/ and it's genuinely sizzling stuff. You can tell he read Hunter S Thompson and Kerouac as a youngster, and since then I'm assuming he's read other stuff that sounds more mature, because his writing is kind of both of those things. It's present and truthful, and entirely unsentimental, but it has feelings in it. That link again: https://joeloh.substack.com/ - Sam Image courtesy of Craig https://wish-art.blog/gallery/____________________________________More on the quote's source, A More Loving World: How to increase compassion, kindness and joy at https://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/a-more-loving-world/ An extract of the book is available at https://assets.theschooloflife.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/04143544/A-More-Loving-World_extract.pdfAbout the author of today's quote:Alain de Botton FRSL (/dəˈbɒtən/; born 20 December 1969) is a Swiss-born British author and public speaker. His books discuss various contemporary subjects and themes, emphasizing philosophy's relevance to everyday life. He published Essays in Love (1993), which went on to sell two million copies. Other bestsellers include How Proust Can Change Your Life (1997), Status Anxiety (2004), and The Architecture of Happiness (2006).He co-founded The School of Life in 2008 and Living Architecture in 2009.[1][2] In 2015, he was awarded "The Fellowship of Schopenhauer", an annual writers' award from the Melbourne Writers Festival, for that work. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_de_BottonMore great quotes from Alain de Botton at https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Alain_de_BottonTranscript:That's Alain de Botton. And that really struck me because I think I'd always given myself an out. That it didn't really matter what I did. That I was a small and insignificant person.And as it says 'however mesmerized we are by the deplorable behaviour of powerful individuals...' It always seemed enough to just look at someone like a Donald Trump, and just be like, "well, I'm nowhere near that bad, and I'm also nowhere near that powerful, so the things that I do don't really matter." But as it says 'we are constantly capable of causing other people significant hurt.' I look back and see a lot of burnt bridges. And actually burning bridges is the only way I know to deal with a lot of this stuff. And I like to think that I have gotten better in sobriety and recovery. But I've always had an edge that's capable of hurting people.And I guess the point of this note and why I wrote it down at the time, and why it struck me so much, was this is the justification that I'd used for my poor behaviour in hurting people, that I was just a little insignificant ant. And reflecting on it now, it's partially that insignificance that led to some of the rage, that led to some of the bitterness, that led to some of the poor behaviour. So, I guess the thing that I'm trying to find now, is some genuine humility. And just getting myself out of the way and seeing other people, and other people have their struggles. And to quote Bob Dylan's grandma, that "everyone walks a hard road." And I know I'm not going to get this right. It's not going to be perfect. But this quote reminds me that I matter to maybe a handful of people, but to those people I really matter. And I have to be really careful to try to be kind wherever I possibly can. And it doesn't matter what's happened to me. It doesn't matter whether I've been given a diagnosis or I feel like I've had a hard time in life. It actually only matters how I act in the world.That's what I'll be judged on. And that's what I should be judged on. I need to get my thoughts right. And my emotions, right. And then hopefully my actions will improve. | 3m 15s | ||||||
| 5/25/24 |  Just One Thing - Pema Chodron | All that is necessary then is to rest undistractedly in the immediate present, in this very instant in time. And if we become drawn away by thoughts, by longings, by hopes and fears, again and again we can return to this present moment. We are here. We are carried off as if by the wind, and as if by the wind, we are brought back. When one thought has ended and another has not begun, we can rest in that space. We train in returning to the unchanging heart of this very moment. All compassion and all inspiration come from that. Pema Chodron - When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (1997)This short episode is from Joe, intended as the first of many, reflecting on passages he took note of in reading. Next week's main ep will explain more of the back story behind this new project. Joe is writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com, and (Sam here) I say it's very good stuff. Very honest. Totally Joe. A rollicking read. Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Image: 'Calanais Stones, what a mystery' by Craig https://wish-art.blog/____________ ______________About the author of today's quote:Pema Chödrön (born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown, July 14, 1936) is an American Tibetan Buddhist. She is an ordained nun, former Acharya of Shambhala Buddhism and disciple of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Chödrön has written books and audiobooks, and is principal teacher at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia. Chödrön teaches the traditional "Yarne" retreat at Gampo Abbey each winter and the Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life in Berkeley each summer. (wikiquote)More Pema Chodron quotes at https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pema_Ch%C3%B6dr%C3%B6nBy the same author: How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind (2008) | 3m 34s | ||||||
| 5/17/24 |  Is Love the Drug? | Romantic Realities: Deconstructing the Romantic Love MythWe dive into the misconceptions of romantic love prevalent in Western culture, drawing on a quote from You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships, by Richard Swartz. Get the book from Internal Family Systems Institute at https://ifs-institute.com/you-are-one-youve-been-waitingSam mentions Let's Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice podcast with Dr Morgan, yet again, but actually links to it this time. https://episodes.fm/1496034764 to find it on your podcast player of choice. But I use and recommend Podcast Guru, and Fountain, available on all phones ... anyway it's a great resource on attachment theory, and if you end up taking a workshop let Sam know how it goes.Here's the quote:Our Western culture and many of the relationship experts in it have issued us faulty maps and improper tools. We've been told that the love we need is a buried treasure, hidden in the heart of a special intimate partner. Once we find that partner, the love we crave should flow elixir like, filling our empty spaces and healing our pain. We touch on:the usual gossip and personal experiences, in between the wise and reflective stuff.historic context of romantic love as an ideallikely role of biology in facilitating feelings of romantic lovevs the grim reality of marriage historically, as the transfer of property between menromance in mediathe unrealistic expectations it setsreflect on the nature of lovelove's challengesthe importance of self-love and realistic expectations in intimate relationshipsdynamics of attachment stylesmental health, and the balance between self-reliance and being a good partnera broader contemplation of love's realities versus its cultural constructionsEpisode image: courtesy of Craig - read stories and look at more great shots at https://wish-art.blog/gallery/The show cover is from the filming of The KLF's Ancients of Mu clip - https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/apr/27/return-of-the-klf-bill-drummond-jimmy-cautyShow theme is from Ehsan Gelsi - he just dropped a new song video today - it's nice synth instrumental music. Watch the maestro at work over at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN9XE0UKZDE0:00 TTTT Is Love the Drug?00:18 Myth of Romantic Love02:10 Personal Stories: Rethinking Romance04:53 Debating the Reality of Romantic Love08:18 The Cultural and Biological Perspectives on Love32:42 Navigating New Beginnings and Misunderstandings32:54 The Journey of Moving In and Relationship Dynamics33:22 Relationship Flags: Red, Yellow, and Green36:10 Mental Health and Self-Awareness in Relationships52:54 Reflections on Love, Choice, and Commitment (00:00) - Is Love the Drug? (00:18) - Myth of Romantic Love (02:10) - Personal Stories: Rethinking Romance (04:53) - Debating the Reality of Romantic Love (08:18) - The Cultural and Biological Perspectives on Love (32:42) - Navigating New Beginnings and Misunderstandings (32:54) - The Journey of Moving In and Relationship Dynamics (33:22) - Relationship Flags: Red, Yellow, and Green (36:10) - Mental Health and Self-Awareness in Relationships (52:54) - Reflections on Love, Choice, and Commitment | 1h 02m 09s | ||||||
| 5/9/24 |  Sam reads your listener notes | Listeners are producers. Thank you for getting the show out.I reflect on my own podcast listening: helpful with insomnia, and a lifeline during tough times. Write me hereReading a wide range of listener notes, I respond and explore personal themes:vulnerabilitythoughts on how to engage usefully with attachment theory, to go looking for the things we don't want to saythe two breakdown eps from Joe and Alivoyeurism: when is it okay to listen to people spilling about intense experiencesI say it's because people pod with honesty, because they want to be seen and accepted, flaws and all, so you're helping. If it's feeding something exploitative, you'll feel it.Themes around speaking, activism, expression:the half-informed should speak, while being honest about their level of understanding, otherwise we will only hear from the powerful and the uninformed, who are never honest about their level of understandingmiddle-class white women do speak up a lot, but should continue to do soa brief history of middle-class women as key activistsI encourage a writer who listens, to start a show, and offer support and advice to anyone curious about getting startedNetworked communal media not subject to the algorithmthe communal, horizontal, networked experience of podcasts (listeners become producers, or step up to speak, in a mutually supporting way) audio over RSS: the last medium not to have been completely overrun by ads and algorithmsopen nature of podcast distribution via RSS feeds, Really Simple Syndication, contrasting it with highly vertical, platform-dependent media (LOCKED SYSTEMS = serfdom)commercial radio thrived on podcast-ish values before becoming a bloated ad beasta call for community support and contribution, reinforcing the collaborative spirit of podcasting listeners as producers, who contribute to the content and continuity of podcastsValue for Value, decentralisation: the philosophy we need for sustainable media in the age of closed platformsthe importance of fearless feedback in all directionsthe democratizing power of podcasts under techno-feudalismCreators & Guests Sam Ellis - Host Art by https://www.instagram.com/schinacoy/(00:00) - The Life-Changing Power of Podcasts (01:11) - Podcast Listening Habits (02:07) - Podcast Listeners as Producers (03:38) - Exploring Attachment Theory Through Listener Feedback (06:21) - The Open Nature of Podcasting vs. Centralized Media (24:18) - Embracing Vulnerability and Listener Connections (25:06) - The Power of Envy and Personal Growth (25:36) - Podcasting as a Form of Expression (30:02) - The Impact of Listening and Speaking (32:27) - Exploring Faith and Listener Feedback 00:00 The Life-Changing Power of Podcasts01:11 Podcast Listening Habits02:07 Podcast Listeners as Producers03:38 Exploring Attachment Theory Through Listener Feedback06:21 The Open Nature of Podcasting vs. Centralized Media24:18 Embracing Vulnerability and Listener Connections25:06 The Power of Envy and Personal Growth25:36 Podcasting as a Form of Expression30:02 The Impact of Listening and Speaking32:27 Exploring Faith and Listener Feedback | 50m 27s | ||||||
| 4/30/24 |  Film | Thinking back on favourite films, it becomes clear what they say about us. Cinema, the Psyche, unveiling Inner HeroesIt's always therapy and psychoanalysis around here, movies are the vehicle. Favourite films reflect deep psychological themes and evolving personal identities. What we once found aspirational in a character, we might later rethink, or realise it was not the healthiest hero to have. Others may have been right for the time. So we mainly talk about movies our younger selves were drawn to, Pulp Fiction, Terminator 2, The Matrix, Le Samurai, The Thin Red Line, Beaches, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Funny Girl, 'Now, Voyager', All About Eve, and Stella Dallas. It's the usual mix of personal stories, and psychological insights, plus film analysis and some half-remembered film theory, looking at identification with film characters, self-perception, the making and collapsing of reality, and the separate self. We also touch on the gender dynamics in film identification, the concept of sacrificial love, and the role of cinema in shaping or reflecting social norms and personal dreams. It all brings us eventually to the universal quest for connection and meaning. We delve into how these preferences illuminate our aspirations, fears, and personal development.Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Ali Catramados - Host Sam Ellis - Host Image: still from Cinema Paradiso (1988) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095765/?quot(00:00) - TTTT Film (01:23) - Deep Dive into Favorite Films and Personal Identification (03:28) - Self-image and cinema (07:33) - The Psychological Impact of Film and the Matrix Deep Dive (10:36) - Meditation, Reality, and Joe''s dis-Engagement with Cinema (14:41) - Heroism, Mortality, and the Essence of Cinema (21:02) - Heroism in Real Life vs. Cinema (22:59) - Reflecting on how Mortality impacts Film Appreciation (26:01) - Character Archetypes in Cinema (26:30) - The Impact of Nature and Civilization in Film (28:57) - The Power of Old Movies: Nostalgia and Reflection (30:20) - The Power of Melodrama: Reflecting on Personal Sacrifices (44:03) - Romantic Comedies and Their Influence on Personal Identity (51:06) - The Secret Hopes and Dreams in Cinema (52:55) - Concluding Thoughts on Cinema's Psychological Impact 00:00 Welcome: A Thought Experiment on Favorite Films01:10 Personal Film Favorites and Identity01:10 Deep Dive into Favorite Films and Personal Identification03:15 Self-image and cinema07:19 Psychological Impact of Cinema07:19 The Psychological Impact of Film and the Matrix Deep Dive10:22 Meditation, Reality, and Joe''s dis-Engagement with Cinema14:27 Heroism, Mortality, and the Essence of Cinema20:48 Heroism in Real Life vs. Cinema22:45 Reflecting on how Mortality impacts Film Appreciation25:48 Character Archetypes in Cinema26:16 Nature vs. Civilization: A Personal Journey26:16 The Impact of Nature and Civilization in Film28:43 The Power of Old Movies: Nostalgia and Reflection30:06 The Power of Melodrama: Reflecting on Personal Sacrifices43:49 Romantic Comedies and Self-Discovery43:49 Romantic Comedies and Their Influence on Personal Identity50:52 The Secret Hopes and Dreams in Cinema52:41 Concluding Thoughts on Cinema's Psychological Impact | 54m 05s | ||||||
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