Think Act Be Podcast

Guilt is a normal human emotion that everyone deals with at times, and it’s not a problem by itself—it can actually be quite helpful. But excessive guilt can take on an oversized role in your life. Maybe you feel guilty even when you did nothing wrong, or you can’t forgive yourself for an honest mistake, or for something that happened a long time ago. In this episode Joel and I explore where guilt comes from, when it’s useful, how to question it, and the best, most powerful ways to respond. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Disturbing recent events have left many of us reeling, especially the violence and killings in Minneapolis. In this episode Joel and I explore the coarsening of our public discourse, the distorting effects of elevating political allegiance above all else, and how to find solace in these troubling times. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Worry is an understandable response when you’re not sure how something you care about is going to turn out. But worry can become self-perpetuating, eating up your mental bandwidth and creating unnecessary tension over things you can’t control. In this episode Joel and I share some of the best-tested approaches for freeing your mind from the trap of worry.For more daily practices to manage stress and worry all year, here’s the link to my latest book that Joel and I discussed: Your Daily Reset. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Changing your thoughts can be a powerful way to greater well-being. But too much of a focus on thinking can keep you stuck in your head and get in the way of meaningful action. In this episode Joel and I explore how to find the balance between the cognitive and the behavioral elements of CBT. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Therapy is a big investment of time, finances, and energy. How can you make your time in therapy as productive as possible? How can you prepare for your sessions, and apply what you’ve learned to the rest of your life? And how do you choose a therapist in the first place? Joel and I explore these questions and more as we consider how you can get more out of every therapy session. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

There's nothing more important for your well-being than having good relationships. But countless people find themselves feeling isolated and alone, with few real friends. Joel and I explore effective ways to meet new people, including how to address common obstacles like anxiety and depression. Discover small, practical steps you can take toward building more connection in your daily life. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is dealing with a child’s challenging emotions. Many of the same skills that help in your relationship with your child can also help in managing your own feelings. In this episode Joel and I explore how to diffuse difficult emotions rather than adding fuel to the fire, integrating firmness and warmth, and investing in a long-term relationship with yourself. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

What is emotional intelligence (EI)? Where does it comes from? And what are its benefits? Joel and I also discuss what you can do to increase your ability to recognize and work with emotions, whether your own or others'. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Joel and I explore what intrusive thoughts are, what causes them, what makes them worse, and how to deal with them more effectively. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Fellow psychologist Joel Minden and I talk about behavioral activation, one of the most effective treatments for depression. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

My guest this week is holistic executive coach Doug Holt. It was Doug’s second time on the podcast (the previous episode is here) and another great discussion. This time we focused on the marriage relationship—especially when you fear that you married the wrong person. Our discussion focused mostly on male-female couples, but many of the things we talked about are relevant for all committed partnerships. Topics we discussed included: What leads people to think they married the wrong person Feeling like one is married to a “roommate with a ring” Blaming one’s partner for marital disconnect Focusing on the person you can control, vs. the other person The disconnect between one’s reception in the wider world and at home The common isolation from a brotherhood that many men experience Looking to one’s partner to fulfill all of one’s needs The book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover Putting our validation for our self-worth on our partner Doubling down on relationship behaviors that aren’t working The turn-off of needy energy The downsides of interacting in a transactional way with one’s partner Asking one’s partner about how much their relationship needs are being met Choosing a spouse that is perfectly positioned to challenge us and push our buttons Taking marital challenges as feedback and opportunities for growth Self-betterment as a no-lose option Time and money as indicators of one’s values The very rough patch that Doug went through in his marriage Working with parents to improve kids’ lives What it means to be a “powerful man” Doug Holt has been changing lives through his coaching for nearly 30 years. He owns several successful companies and specializes in helping men (especially business owners) to grow their businesses, strengthen their relationships, and design the life they want to live. Doug lives with his wife and two kids in Oregon. Learn more about Doug and his work at his website. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

My guest this week is Dr. Nadia Colburn, a poet and author of a new book of poetry entitled I Say the Sky (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Developing greater interest in poetry later in life Turning to poetry as a spiritual or devotional practice The ability of poetry to express or point to things that are difficult to capture The emotional connection that poetry can inspire Presence that exists outside of traditional narrative Readings from Nadia’s books Wanting to live and yet forgetting we’re alive right here and now Mistaking the world for a task Making the body more spacious so it can contain more The ongoing life of the past into the present The dialogue between writing and meditation Letting go of the desire to show that we’re good and acceptable Nadia’s description and evocation of the experience of anxiety in her poem “Anxiety” The missingness of poetry, according to Kieran Setiya Nadia Colburn, PhD, is also the author of The High Shelf. Her poetry and prose have appeared in more than 80 publications, including the New Yorker, American Poetry Review, Kenyon Review, Spirituality & Health, Lion’s Roar, and the Yale Review. Nadia holds a PhD in English from Columbia University. She is the founder of Align Your Story writing school, which brings traditional literary and creative writing studies together with mindfulness, embodied practices, and social and environmental engagement. Learn more about Nadia at her website, where you can also find meditations and other free resources. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe