Thoughts While Surviving Chronic Illness: Ramblings From a Chef Whose Body Constantly Rebels
by Tate Basildon
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On the show
Recent episodes
Outliving a Chronic Illness Prognosis
Jul 17, 2026
16m 17s
Kindness in Healthcare and Chronic Illness Care
Jul 14, 2026
16m 28s
The Fake Chinese Song That Became a Chronic Illness Poem
Jul 10, 2026
17m 11s
Childhood Memories, Chronic Illness, and the Cousin I Never Forgot
Jul 7, 2026
15m 40s
Chronic Illness, Mortality, and Never Leaving Angry
Jul 3, 2026
14m 13s
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| Date | Episode | Description | Length | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7/17/26 |  Outliving a Chronic Illness Prognosis | In this episode, I talk about what it felt like to hear doctors put numbers on my future, then keep living past the dates that once scared me. I’m reflecting on stage four sarcoidosis, heart failure, scarred lungs, medical uncertainty, and the strange math of planning a life when no one can promise how much time is waiting. This isn’t a miracle story. It’s about fear, adaptation, dark humor, and the ordinary days that feel different when I wasn’t sure I’d reach them. This podcast is narrate... | 16m 17s | ||||||
| 7/14/26 |  Kindness in Healthcare and Chronic Illness Care | In this episode, I’m talking about kindness in healthcare, bedside manner, chronic illness care, and why the emotional side of medical appointments can follow me long after I leave the room. Living with sarcoidosis means I’ve spent years around scans, charts, vitals, instructions, and waiting rooms, but I also remember tone, patience, eye contact, and small moments of steadiness. I’m thinking through why basic kindness is not a luxury in medical care, especially when my body is already tired ... | 16m 28s | ||||||
| 7/10/26 |  The Fake Chinese Song That Became a Chronic Illness Poem | In this episode, I’m talking about a silly song I sing to my dogs, a language I don’t actually speak, and the strange AI surprise that came back when I finally let technology listen. I’m reflecting on ancestry, imagination, chronic illness, memory, and the little rituals that sneak into daily life when my body is tired but my mind is still wandering. It starts with puppies, a tug toy, and nonsense sounds, but it opens a door I didn’t expect. This podcast is narrated using an AI voice. The wor... | 17m 11s | ||||||
| 7/7/26 |  Childhood Memories, Chronic Illness, and the Cousin I Never Forgot | In this episode, I talk about my cousin Jenny, a childhood memory I’ve carried for more than fifty years, and the way grief can return through laughter before it ever knows what to do with itself. I’m reflecting on family distance, ovarian cancer, chronic illness, and what it feels like when my body keeps me far from a goodbye I wish I could attend. It’s about cousins, memory, regret, love, and the strange little details that keep people alive inside us. This podcast is narrated using an AI v... | 15m 40s | ||||||
| 7/3/26 |  Chronic Illness, Mortality, and Never Leaving Angry | In this episode, I talk about an ordinary drive home that turned into a quiet reminder of how fragile life can be. I’m reflecting on a young neighbor’s sudden death, the strange grief of witnessing loss from a distance, and the promise my wife and I made never to leave each other angry. I also talk about chronic illness, uncertainty, marriage, and why small goodbyes deserve more care than we usually give them. This podcast is narrated using an AI voice. The words, reflections, and lived exper... | 14m 13s | ||||||
| 6/30/26 |  Race-Colored Glasses and the Stories We Tell Ourselves | Sometimes the smallest details in a story say more than the story itself. In this reflective episode, I talk about the way people describe strangers, the racial details they choose to include, and the quiet assumptions that can slip into everyday storytelling. This is a personal, conversational look at bias, fear, self-awareness, and the uncomfortable gap between what people believe about themselves and what their words sometimes reveal before they’ve had a chance to notice. This podcast is n... | 16m 25s | ||||||
| 6/26/26 |  When Chronic Illness Changes Who I Thought I Was | In this episode, I’m talking about the grief of missing who I used to be before chronic illness changed my body, my confidence, and the way I moved through life. I’m reflecting on identity, acceptance, and the quiet habit of measuring today’s body against yesterday’s freedom. Through a memory from Sedona, Arizona, I revisit a moment when I had to face what I’d lost, what I was still carrying, and how hard it can be to care for the person who remains. This podcast is narrated using an AI voice... | 14m 38s | ||||||
| 6/23/26 |  New Name, Same Body: Why My Chronic Illness Podcast Changed | In this episode, I’m talking about the new name, the new season, and why I needed a podcast title that felt closer to the stories I actually tell. I’m thinking about chronic illness, identity, breath, survival, and what it means to keep going without pretending I’ve become a brand-new person. The name has changed, but the voice, humor, medical reality, stubbornness, and lived experience underneath it are still mine. I’m starting fresh without erasing what came before. This podcast is narrated... | 11m 04s | ||||||
| 6/19/26 |  The Prednisone Demon: Chronic Illness, Steroid Side Effects, and Survival | Living with chronic illness often means depending on treatments that help one part of the body while making another part miserable. In this episode, I talk about prednisone, steroid side effects, sarcoidosis, sleep disruption, hunger, medication dependence, and the strange emotional math of needing something you also resent. It’s a grounded, personal look at survival, adaptation, humor, and the small daily tricks people with chronic illness use to get through the day with some dignity still i... | 15m 01s | ||||||
| 6/16/26 |  When Anger Feels Easier Than Hope | After reading a blog by someone living with heart failure and pulmonary hypertension, I found myself thinking about the line between anger and surrender in chronic illness. Anger makes sense when your body becomes a full-time job, but bitterness can quietly lock every door. In this episode, I talk about hope, medical trauma, healing, and why believing in possibility isn’t the same as pretending everything is fine. Living with sarcoidosis and heart failure has taught me that hope doesn’t cure ... | 16m 40s | ||||||
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| 6/12/26 |  MiniCast: Chronic Illness and Fear: The Small Habits Your Body Quietly Erases | One morning I realized I had stopped doing something completely ordinary. Stretching. Not because I chose to, but because somewhere along the way my body decided it wasn’t safe anymore. Living with sarcoidosis and heart failure doesn’t just affect your health in obvious ways. It quietly rewrites your instincts. The biggest changes don’t always happen in hospitals or test results. Sometimes they show up in small, almost invisible moments. This episode explores how fear lingers in the body, how... | 8m 06s | ||||||
| 6/9/26 |  Chronic Illness, Old Friends, and the Cost of Unequal Relationships | Sometimes the most exhausting part of chronic illness isn’t the appointments, the symptoms, the insurance nonsense, or the daily negotiations with a body that refuses to behave. Sometimes it’s an old relationship that comes back acting as if time erased the imbalance. In this episode, I talk about childhood friendship, unresolved feelings, one-sided effort, awkward reconnections, and the quiet relief of realizing that shared history doesn’t automatically earn access to your present life. Chro... | 19m 04s | ||||||
| 6/5/26 |  When Hospital Anxiety Shows Up After Years of Chronic Illness | Medical trauma doesn’t always announce itself during the obvious terrifying moments. Sometimes it waits until an ordinary hospital visit, after routine blood work, when everything should feel familiar and manageable. This episode explores chronic illness, sarcoidosis, heart failure, hospital anxiety, panic attacks, and the way the body can store fear long after the mind thinks it has handled the hard parts. It’s about endurance, fear, shame, humor, and learning that a reaction is not a failur... | 15m 10s | ||||||
| 6/2/26 |  What Three Stone Steps Taught Me About Chronic Illness Avoidance | Living with chronic illness is not always shaped by dramatic medical events. Sometimes it is shaped by the tiny detours we quietly build into our days. In this episode, I talk about realizing I had been avoiding three ordinary stone steps, and what that small moment revealed about sarcoidosis, heart failure, fear, adaptation, and the slow way a life can shrink by inches. This is a personal, reflective, lightly funny look at avoidance, resilience, breathlessness, and the private negotiations w... | 19m 46s | ||||||
| 5/29/26 |  MiniCast: The Hidden Side Effects of Prednisone No One Warns You About | Sometimes it is not the big symptoms that stop you in your tracks. It is the quiet ones. The bruises you cannot explain. The skin that tears a little too easily. Living with sarcoidosis and long term prednisone use means learning how your body changes in ways no one really prepares you for. In this episode, I talk about those small but unsettling moments, the kind that make you pause and ask what is happening to me now. Because chronic illness is not just about survival. It is about adapting ... | 7m 47s | ||||||
| 5/26/26 |  Love, Caregiving, and Chronic Illness: The Spouse Who Helps You Survive | Living with chronic illness affects more than the person with the diagnosis. It changes marriage, caregiving, routines, fear, and the quiet emotional work shared inside a home. In this episode, I reflect on sarcoidosis, heart failure, love, caregiving, and the spouse who has helped me survive the hardest parts of my life. This is a personal story about marriage under pressure, the unseen weight caregivers carry, and the kind of love that notices breathing, fatigue, fear, stubbornness, and hop... | 16m 03s | ||||||
| 5/22/26 |  Oxygen Therapy in Public and the Quiet Social Reality of Living with Sarcoidosis | Wearing oxygen in public with sarcoidosis changes more than breathing. It changes the way people look at you, the way they try not to look at you, and the quiet assumptions they carry about what chronic illness is supposed to look like. In elevators, stores, and ordinary public spaces, those silent reactions tell their own story. This episode explores oxygen therapy, visible illness, social discomfort, and the strange gap between expectation and reality. It is about being seen, being misread,... | 11m 40s | ||||||
| 5/19/26 |  The Waiting Room Anxiety Nobody Talks About: Chronic Illness Test Results and Relief | Waiting for medical test results with chronic illness can feel like sitting through an awards show you never agreed to attend. Every pause carries weight, every glance feels loaded, and your mind fills in the blanks before anyone speaks. Living with sarcoidosis and heart failure means learning how to exist in that space between testing and knowing. But sometimes, the outcome shifts. Sometimes your body gives something back. This is a story about that moment when fear loosens its grip, even br... | 8m 42s | ||||||
| 5/15/26 |  The Guilt I Carried That Was Never Mine: Living with Chronic Illness and Letting Go | A moment from childhood can quietly shape how we carry guilt for decades. In this episode, I share the story of losing my stepfather at thirteen and the belief I carried for years that it was somehow my fault. Living with sarcoidosis and heart issues has taught me that emotional weight does not just live in the mind, it settles into the body. This is a reflection on how the stories we create in moments of trauma can linger, and how slowly, imperfectly, we begin to let them go. This podcast is... | 11m 36s | ||||||
| 5/12/26 |  Why “You Don’t Look Sick” Doesn’t Offend Me: Chronic Illness, Friendship, and Looking Fine When You’re Not | Invisible illness can make ordinary social moments surprisingly complicated. A simple comment, a changed friendship, or a curious question can turn into an emotional negotiation when your body carries more than people can see. This episode explores chronic illness, invisible symptoms, privacy, boundaries, friendship, dignity, and the pressure to explain yourself. It’s about living in a body that doesn’t always advertise what it’s doing, while still wanting to be treated as a whole person, not... | 16m 55s | ||||||
| 5/8/26 |  The Strange Math of Chronic Illness: What Sarcoidosis Taught Me About Expectations | People sometimes ask how anyone living with sarcoidosis can stay positive day after day. The answer isn’t motivation, inspiration, or some magical personality trait. It’s something quieter… something most people miss entirely. This podcast is narrated using an AI voice. The words, reflections, and lived experience are my own. Contact A Body Rebels More info about Sarcoidosis and to donate toward research: The Foundation For Sarcoidosis Research | 9m 13s | ||||||
| 5/5/26 |  The Smoking Backpack: Chronic Illness in Public | A doctor’s waiting room is usually boring. Mine briefly turned into a low-budget suspense film because my portable oxygen backpack looked like it was smoking. Living with sarcoidosis and chronic illness means getting used to equipment, routines, and symptoms that feel normal to you but deeply suspicious to everyone else. What started as an ordinary appointment became one of those strange public moments where illness stops being private and starts becoming a spectacle. It was awkward, absurd, ... | 16m 37s | ||||||
| 5/2/26 |  MiniCast: When the Wild Speaks: The Night a Fox and a Crow Changed Everything | On a quiet sunset drive, I stumbled into a raw moment between a fox and a crow—two wild creatures locked in instinct and mystery. What began as an ordinary evening turned into a reflection on survival, intuition, and the strange ways nature mirrors our own chronic-illness battles. This podcast is narrated using an AI voice. The words, reflections, and lived experience are my own. Contact A Body Rebels More info about Sarcoidosis and to donate toward research: The Foundation For Sarcoidosis Re... | 4m 40s | ||||||
| 5/1/26 |  Getting an AICD: What the Surgery Felt Like From the Hospital Bed | Getting an AICD implanted is not just a procedure. It is the moment heart failure stops sounding like a diagnosis on paper and starts feeling real in your body. In this episode, I share what it was actually like to hear I needed an implantable defibrillator, wait in fear, go under the operating lights, feel the strange sensations no brochure mentions, and wake up with emergency hardware in my chest. This is not the polished hospital version. It is the patient version, the human version, for a... | 21m 00s | ||||||
| 4/28/26 |  The Day the Hospital Treated Me Like a Human Being | Hospital visits can start to feel like rehearsed disappointment when you live with sarcoidosis, heart failure, and the long, exhausting reality of chronic illness. I know that feeling well. So when I went to Westchester Medical Center for a right heart catheterization and was met with kindness, answers, eye contact, and actual respect, it caught me completely off guard. In this episode, I talk about why simple human decency can change the emotional weight of a procedure, why bad attitudes lin... | 21m 00s | ||||||
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