Tongue First

This week on Tongue First, Siren and Wendy welcome Matthew Lush — aka Gay God — one of the original LGBTQ+ internet personalities, a trailblazer who was turning webcams on in his bedroom and figuring it out in real time before anyone had a name for what he was doing.Matthew has been a presence on the internet for twenty two years. Before TikTok lives, before creator houses, before sponsorship managers and media training, Matthew was on MySpace posting pictures of himself and his boyfriend and accidentally becoming one of the first openly gay voices on the internet. It cost him friendships, his relationship with his parents, and years of death threats from strangers who couldn't stand to see him exist. He kept going anyway.Together, Siren, Wendy, and Matthew talk about what it actually cost to be visible online before queer visibility was celebrated, coming out at fourteen and being one of the first to do it on camera, the emotional weight of being a creator people turn to when they have nowhere else to go, what it means to forgive a parent who wasn't there when you needed them most, and how trauma has a funny way of turning into purpose.They also get into defining queerness, rainbow aesthetics and pride fatigue, Matthew being canonically a lesbian, and a passionate debate about whether pineapple belongs on mashed potatoes that ends exactly the way you'd expect.And somewhere in the middle of all of it, warm jello becomes a metaphor for something that we will not be explaining here.If you've ever felt like being yourself on the internet cost you something real — or if you just need to hear that keeping going is always worth it — this one is for you.Support the chaos and get access to bonus content, behind the scenes moments, and the Tongue First After Hours community over on Patreon. The link is in the show notes.Find Matthew Lush at MatthewLush.com and on TikTok at @MatthewLush.Follow the chaos on TikTok: @Sirenegade_440 @Wendy6181981New episodes every Monday.Until next time — stay curious, stay queer, and don't forget to lick responsibly.