Unblock Your BS

You thought you were loving your family. But what if you were slowly abandoning yourself? In today's episode, Tara reads a post from one of the men inside Healthy Men-tality, shared word-for-word, about what doing the work actually looks like in real time. The ups, the downs, and the slow peeling back of the patterns underneath his behavior. He writes about self-sacrificing his own needs for years, keeping the peace at any cost, and slowly becoming someone he didn't recognize. A man who did everything he thought a good husband and father was supposed to do, and lost himself in the process, until his wife saying she was done finally woke him up. From there, Tara unpacks what was happening beneath all of it and what it actually takes to come back to yourself. Inside this episode, we get into: How self-abandonment hides behind being a good provider and protector Why men slide into codependency and people-pleasing without realizing it Covert contracts, doing things for your partner while quietly expecting something back What it means to perform love instead of giving it freely How emotional safety starts within you The role nervous system regulation plays in healthy relationships Why you can't give others a sense of safety and worth you haven't built in yourself first The "healthy man blueprint," choosing who you want to be on purpose How to keep your role and value as a man without losing yourself in the relationship This is the story of a man finding his way back to himself, and the kind of awareness that changes how you show up for everyone around you. If any of it sounded familiar, that's the work, and it's worth doing. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Most men don't lose their relationship overnight. It happens slowly. Long work hours. Emotional avoidance. Constant stress. Feeling like roommates instead of partners. One person asking for connection while the other thinks, "I'm doing all of this for us… why isn't it enough?" In this episode, Marcus opens up about the collapse of his six-year relationship, discovering his partner was emotionally involved with someone else, and the spiral of shame, grief, panic, and self-blame that followed. But this conversation goes deeper than cheating or heartbreak. We unpack how childhood trauma, nervous system survival responses, overworking, emotional shutdown, conflict avoidance, and people-pleasing quietly shape adult relationships… especially for men who were never taught emotional regulation in the first place. Inside this episode: Why overworking is often emotional avoidance in disguise The difference between guilt and shame Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in relationships Why some people move on quickly after relationships end How childhood abandonment wounds show up in adult intimacy Why many men outsource their self-worth to being chosen What emotional safety actually looks like in a relationship The hidden cost of living in survival mode for years How nervous system work and breathwork help process grief and emotional overwhelm This one is raw. Honest. Messy. Human. And if you've ever thought: "I know better… but I still keep reacting the same way." You'll probably see yourself somewhere in this conversation. If you're ready to stop living in survival mode and learn how to lead yourself differently in relationships, you can learn more about Healthy Men-tality here: JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Most men were never taught how to stay present when emotions get big. So when conflict happens in a relationship… they either shut down, try to fix it, disappear emotionally, or explode. Then comes the shame spiral. "I'm failing." "I'm broken." "I can't do this right." In this episode, Dave Lishansky and I unpack what's actually happening underneath those reactions, and why so many "nice guys" are really just men stuck in nervous system survival patterns. We talk about emotional safety, boundaries, self-abandonment, attachment dynamics, men's groups, breathwork, and why relationships eventually force us to confront the parts of ourselves we've spent years avoiding. Inside this episode: Why many men go silent during conflict What emotional safety actually means The hidden cost of people-pleasing and self-abandonment Why slowing down changes everything during hard conversations The difference between healthy masculine leadership and performance Why relationships become mirrors for our unresolved wounds How community and men's work help men regulate and heal What happens when one partner grows… and the other refuses to One of my favorite moments in this conversation was Dave talking about armor… how so many men walk through life emotionally armored because it never felt safe not to. And how relationships eventually ask you to put some of that armor down if you want real intimacy. If you're a man trying to rebuild trust, regulate your emotions, communicate better, or stop repeating the same relationship cycles… this episode is for you. This is the work we do inside the Healthy Men-tality Program: real tools, real support, real change. If you wanna know more, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about Dave's work here: https://www.davelishansky.com/podcast __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Joey didn't walk into this expecting anything emotional. He thought he'd get a tactic. Maybe a business insight. Something useful he could apply. Instead, he ended up face to face with something he hadn't fully processed in years. His mom. She passed away when he was 23. He's 48 now. And somewhere along the way, without really realizing it, he'd been trying to recreate that connection. In relationships. In life. In the way he showed up. That's the part that stuck. Not the grief itself. The pattern underneath it. We talk about how that shows up in men more than they realize. The instinct to chase, to fix, to stay in motion instead of sitting still long enough to feel anything. And then what happens when you actually slow down. There's a moment in the session where he almost doesn't share what came up for him. You can hear it—the hesitation, the internal back and forth. He shares it anyway. Afterwards, people come up to him. Similar stories. Same kind of loss. Same thing they've been carrying quietly. That's kind of the thread through this whole episode. You don't think it matters to say it out loud. It does. We also get into: why most guys were trained early on that emotions = weakness how that conditioning sticks around way longer than you think what it actually feels like to let something out instead of suppress it and why the ability to receive—love, support, connection—is harder than it sounds Nothing about this is complicated. It's just unfamiliar. And if you've been staying busy, staying distracted, staying in control… this might be one of those conversations that makes you pause for a second. If this episode hits, you already know there's something you've been avoiding. Apply to come on the podcast and we'll talk it through: http://unblockyourbs.com/podcast Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You're successful… so why is your relationship falling apart? If you feel respected, valued, and confident in your career but disconnected, criticized, or unwanted at home… This episode will explain why. Inside this conversation, we break down the real root of "roommate marriages", and why traditional advice doesn't work What You'll Learn: Why your brain is wired to chase achievement over connection How dopamine addiction keeps you focused on work instead of your relationship The hidden reason presence and emotional intimacy feel uncomfortable Why you feel like you're "doing everything right"… but it's not landing How your identity as a provider is quietly sabotaging connection The 3 patterns men fall into when their partner pulls away: Defensiveness People-pleasing Avoidance Why trying to "fix her mood" is actually making things worse What it actually means to become an emotionally safe partner How to rebuild self-respect internally instead of chasing validation externally The Truth Most Men Miss: You're not failing because you don't care. You're struggling because: Your nervous system was never taught how to value what relationships require. And until that shifts… You'll keep winning in places that reward performance and losing in places that require presence. Ready to Fix This? If this episode hits you and you want to go deeper… Join my free training: "From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man" Inside, I break down: – Emotional safety (what it actually means) – How to regulate your nervous system – How to rebuild connection without losing yourself 👉 Sign up here 👈 Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

There's a moment when everything you thought was stable… isn't. Not slowly. Not with warning. Just… gone! That's where this conversation starts. Bill was married for 16 years. He thought they had normal problems. Manageable ones. Then one conversation changed everything. His wife asked for a divorce… and he found out she had already moved on. In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with listener Bill as he navigates the raw, real aftermath of being blindsided. This isn't a polished success story. This is what healing actually looks like in real time. Inside this episode, we unpack: What happens when your nervous system goes into survival mode Why anxiety, panic, and even physical symptoms show up after emotional shock The hidden patterns most people miss in long-term relationships Why trying to "win them back" often pushes them further away The difference between guilt (growth) vs. shame (identity) What forgiveness actually looks like in practice—not theory How to stop replaying painful thoughts on repeat Why emotional regulation is the foundation for everything Most people aren't reacting to the event… They're reacting to the meaning they've created around it. And until you learn how to regulate your nervous system and shift those internal patterns… you'll keep reliving the same emotional experience, just in different situations. If this episode hit for you: You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need a different way through it. Download the FREE 5-minute Breathwork Learn more about Healthy Men-tality Or explore breathwork inside Self Aware Army Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Most people don't go into marriage expecting it to end. And when it does… they don't have a roadmap. If you're a man facing divorce, you've probably heard the same story on repeat: You'll lose your money. You'll lose your kids. The system is rigged against you. But what if most of that is just noise? In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with Joe Dillon, co-founder of Equitable Mediation Services, to break down what actually happens in divorce, and how to navigate it without destroying your finances, your relationship with your kids, or yourself. Joe has spent 17+ years helping couples avoid courtroom battles and unnecessary chaos. He also lived through a highly contentious divorce as a child, which shaped the way he approaches this work today. We get into: Why divorce becomes a financial and emotional war zone The biggest myths men believe (and what's actually true) How mediation works—and when it doesn't What you can do right now to protect your time, money, and future And where this conversation really lands… is in how you approach the process. Because most people are making decisions way too early, based on eмоtion, assumptions, or incomplete information. One of the biggest shifts Joe shares is simple: do the discovery before the deciding. Don't agree to anything until you actually understand what you're working with. We also unpack: Why the "system is rigged" narrative isn't the full story What 50/50 parenting actually looks like in real life (and where most men get it wrong) What child support really is (and why it's often misunderstood) How to build a parenting plan that doesn't fall apart What actually damages kids during divorce… so you don't make it worse. Key Takeaways Divorce isn't just emotional—it's a negotiation Most conflict is driven by fear, control, and miscommunication Child support is shared responsibility, not punishment Parenting doesn't stop when it's "not your day" Your kids didn't ask for this… protect them from the fallout If this episode hit for you: 👉 Want to stop reacting and start responding? Download my free 5-minute breathwork session 👉 Want support around relationships, emotional regulation, and rebuilding? Join the Self Aware Army 👉 Ready for deeper work? Apply for 1:1 coaching About Our Guest: Joe Dillon is the co-founder of Equitable Mediation Services, where he and his wife Cheryl (a divorce coach) help couples divorce without lawyers. Joe has an MBA in Finance and combines that financial expertise with deep personal experience—he is the child of a litigated divorce that left scars. Over the past 17 years, Joe has helped hundreds of couples avoid the courtroom nightmare and walk away with agreements that actually work. His approach is tactical, financial, and refreshingly honest. He practices in six states: Washington, California, Illinois, New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Connect with Joe Dillon: You can find Joe and access free resources, courses, and consultation options at Equitable Mediation Services. He is also active on social media where he shares divorce and co-parenting advice: Instagram:@equitablemediation Facebook:Equitable Mediation YouTube:@Equitablemediation LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephfdillon/ Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Some moments in life split your story into two chapters: Before. And after. For Charlie, that moment happened the night he discovered his wife was having an affair. After 15 years together, his marriage collapsed overnight. His nervous system spiraled. His identity shattered. And he found himself sitting in his car wondering how his life had fallen apart so quickly. But that breakdown became the beginning of something unexpected. In this episode, Charlie shares the real story behind his healing journey inside the Healthy Men-tality program, from emotional shutdown and codependency to learning how to regulate his nervous system, rebuild his self-worth, and show up as a safer father and partner. What started as survival turned into transformation. Today? He's rebuilding his life, reconnecting with himself, strengthening his relationship with his kids, and discovering what it actually means to feel confident, calm, and emotionally safe. Not because his life became perfect. But because he changed how he shows up inside it. In this episode we explore: Why men often suppress emotions until everything explodes The nervous system spiral that happens after betrayal The codependency patterns that quietly destroy relationships How childhood wounds shape adult relationships The breathwork experience that completely shifted his healing Learning to observe thoughts instead of being controlled by them Setting boundaries with parents for the first time Becoming a safer parent for his kids during divorce Rebuilding identity after a relationship ends What happens when a man learns emotional regulation Charlie didn't just learn how to survive divorce. He learned how to trust himself again. And that changed everything. If you're a man navigating heartbreak, divorce, or feeling stuck in survival mode… You don't have to figure it out alone. The Healthy Men-tality Program teaches men how to: Regulate their nervous system Lead themselves emotionally Build relationships rooted in emotional safety Break patterns that sabotage connection Apply or learn more here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Divorce is messy. It's grief. It's a relief. It's rage. It's freedom. Sometimes all in the same week. In this solo episode, I break down what really happens after divorce, especially for the men I work with inside Healthy Men-tality. The bitterness. The bargaining. The shame spiral. The temptation to jump into something new just to avoid being alone. And here's the bold truth: Dating while you're still legally or emotionally tied to someone else often isn't healing… it's avoidance. We talk about: The 5 stages of grief in divorce (even when you initiated it) Why second marriages have higher divorce rates The nervous system rush of "new love" Shame as a childhood motivator… and how it follows men into adulthood Why being alone isn't proof you're unlovable How your partner reflects your self-worth Standards vs. protection The difference between choosing singleness and hiding in it This episode is about reclaiming yourself, not rushing to replace what you lost. If you're navigating separation, divorce, or life after a long-term relationship, this one's for you. If you're ready to rebuild as a grounded, regulated, self-aware man, DM me HEAL and let's talk about Healthy Men-tality. Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Two D' Days. That's what Clayton calls them. The day he discovered the sexual affair. And the day he found out it wasn't the only one. She cheated. Twice. When he found out about the affairs, his reality shattered. He stopped functioning. Sat on the couch. Scrolled TikTok for answers. Six months later? His marriage is still rocky. But he's calm. Clear. Grounded. And not afraid anymore. In this episode, Clayton shares what happened after joining Healthy Men-tality and how nervous system regulation changed everything, not by saving his marriage overnight, but by rebuilding him. We unpack: What betrayal actually does to a man's nervous system Why breathwork felt "sketchy" (until it rocked his world) The physical experience of emotional release (yes… including the T-Rex arms) Killing the people pleaser without becoming an asshole Emotional detachment vs. emotional shutdown Setting boundaries when trust is gone The moment divorce stopped scaring him How showing up for himself made him a better father Clayton shares what it looked like to: Stop performing for love Stop negotiating self-respect Stop trying to control someone else's choices Draw a line in the sand Show up as a father with presence and clarity He says something powerful in this episode: "The old me is dead." And what replaced him? A man who can sit in sadness without collapsing. A man who doesn't fear divorce. A man who doesn't chase breadcrumbs. A man who can say: "I'm not abandoning myself anymore." If you're in a relationship that's falling apart… If you're trying to earn love through performance… If you feel shattered, dysregulated, stuck… This episode will hit. If you resonated with Clayton's story, I'm hosting a free 60-minute live training: From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man We'll break down: Why you shut down, blow up, or chase How survival mode sabotages connection The 3-step Regulate. Lead. Connect. framework What it actually means to become emotionally safe There are only 3 live class times and I cap attendance so I can answer questions. 👉 Save your seat at: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠ Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠ Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

If every conversation with your partner feels like an attack… If feedback turns into defensiveness, shutdowns, or arguments… If you keep asking yourself, "Why does this keep happening?" This episode is for you. In today's conversation, I break down why defensiveness isn't confidence or self-advocacy… it's a nervous system response rooted in shame and early childhood wiring. We're unpacking: Why your body reacts before your logic ever shows up How defensiveness protects an identity wound, not your relationship The difference between guilt ("I did something wrong") and shame ("I am wrong") Why high-achieving men feel regulated at work but unravel at home How childhood beliefs quietly drive adult relationship conflict What actually changes when you heal self-worth instead of chasing validation This isn't about blaming your partner.It's about understanding what's happening inside you, and learning how to interrupt the cycle so you can show up steady, grounded, and emotionally safe. If you're ready to stop surviving your relationship and start rebuilding from the inside out, I'm inviting you to my free training: 👉 From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuild A one-hour class on nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and rebuilding connection without shame or self-abandonment. Register here: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠ Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠ Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Wayne is separated from his wife of 30 years and after starting therapy, he's realizing something that hits a lot of men like a truck: He spent decades hiding emotions to keep the peace… until his body couldn't do it anymore. In this coaching episode, we talk about emotional shutdown, suppressed rage, and why Wayne mostly feels anger and barely joy with almost nothing in between. We break down what "freeze + fight" looks like in real life, why emotions feel scary when you've been trained to suppress them, and the practical tools that help you find the gap between trigger and reaction (so you don't explode… or disappear). In this episode, we cover: Why emotional numbness isn't "cold"...it's survival The difference between fight vs freeze (and how men get stuck in both) A simple body-scan + breathing tool that takes 10 seconds How to widen the "gap" in the heat of conflict Why your self-image can't be built on achievements The "boiling pot with the lid on" metaphor (and why breathwork works to turn off the heat) How to stop outsourcing validation and start meeting your own needs Want support? If you're a man navigating separation/divorce, emotional shutdown, rage, or relationship patterns you're ready to change, you can learn more about Healthy Men-tality and even apply for the program here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen And if you ever want to be coached on the podcast, you can apply at unblockyourbs.com/podcast Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

When your partner is "mad," most people react like anger is the problem. It's not. Anger is usually protection and what's underneath it is what actually needs care, leadership, and emotional intelligence. In this episode, I'm going to break down what happens when men outsource emotional labor to women, why women's hormones can amplify stress without either partner realizing what's happening, and how relationships slowly lose intentionality until everything becomes reactive. I'm also going to share the five common mistakes that keep couples stuck in the same cycle ESPECIALLY after kids, stress, and burnout enter the picture. In this episode, I cover: Why anger is a protective emotion (and what's usually underneath it) How men's default "anger strategies" (shutdown, defensiveness, blow-ups) block connection What it looks like to outsource emotional labor to your partner (reassurance, hypervigilance, avoiding hard conversations) A practical view of women's hormones and why "she woke up anxious/mad" isn't always about you Why couples get trapped in "who does more" wars instead of co-creating a shared vision Accountability vs. apologizing: why "I'm sorry" without identity-level change is lip service The praise problem: why wanting validation for small tasks often means you don't validate yourself Why boundaries feel "controlling" to people who avoid conflict and what happens to your body when you repress emotions How emotional safety is built (and why intimacy often disappears when safety disappears) If you're realizing you've been reactive, avoidant, or stuck in the same cycle and you want actual tools for emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, and relational leadership check out the Healthy Men-tality program - a 12-week training + coaching container that teaches men nervous system regulation, childhood wiring, codependency healing, leadership in relationships, and practical emotional tools that change how you show up. Learn more and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok Watch the episodes on YouTube Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community Book a 1:1 call with Tara FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.