Why Do I Do That?

Episode 34: Why Do I Feel Like I Can’t Trust After Infidelity? Trust is shattered after infidelity—so how do you rebuild it? In this episode, I dive deep into the emotional, psychological, and relational layers behind trust issues after betrayal. 🔍 Key Takeaways: ✨ The aftermath of betrayal: Why infidelity makes you hyper-aware and questioning everything. ✨ Trust is a blueprint: If you never had a solid foundation of trust in childhood, rebuilding it can feel impossible. ✨ The role of past trauma: If betrayal is familiar—whether from family or past relationships—trusting anyone can feel unsafe. ✨ The paradox of trust: You can never fully control whether someone will hurt you, but you CAN trust yourself to be okay. ✨ The cost of half-love: Holding back out of fear might protect you, but it also keeps you from experiencing deep, real connection. 💡 Your Choice: After infidelity, you either leave or you lean back into love and trust. If you stay, make it count—don’t stay halfway in fear. 🔥 Feeling like trust issues are running your relationships? My Love Wounds program will help you unpack your attachment patterns, past wounds, and the deep-rooted fears keeping you stuck. Check it out on my website! 💌 If this episode resonated, send it to someone who needs to hear it. And as always, thank you for listening! ❤️

Episode 32: Why Do I Feel Like I’ll Never Be Truly Happy or at Peace? 🚨 Spoiler Alert: This episode might just change your life! 🚨 In this raw and empowering episode of Why Do I Do That?, we tackle one of the BIGGEST questions we all face: Why does true happiness feel so out of reach? 🌀💭 ✨ Here’s what you’ll uncover: 🔥 How to shift your mindset from chasing “happiness” to embracing aliveness – and why that changes EVERYTHING. 🎯 The secret trap of constantly moving the goalpost and never realizing you’ve already arrived. 💥 How societal "boxes" 🗃️ and limiting beliefs may be silently keeping you stuck (and how to BREAK FREE). ✅ Simple, powerful tools like asking, "If I wasn’t afraid, I would…" to uncover your next bold move. 🌊 Jessica dives deep with real stories, personal breakthroughs, and client transformations that will leave you feeling INSPIRED and READY to take action. 🎧 What’s inside this episode? 💡 Why aliveness (not happiness) is the REAL goal. 🚪 How to step out of the “box” that’s been holding you back. 📝 Practical steps to align with your soul’s desires and live fully – starting TODAY. This isn’t just another pep talk. It’s a call to ACTION 💪 to create a life that feels rich, exciting, and full of purpose. Ready to reclaim your aliveness? 🌟 👉 Press play now and start breaking free! 🔥 Don’t forget to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Together, let’s LIVE ALIVE! 🌈✨

Episode 30: Why do we feel blocked from manifesting the goals we deeply desire? Why does it sometimes feel like no matter how much effort we put in, something still holds us back? In this insightful episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess sits down with Lucinda Brandham, a manifestation and shadow work coach and Aaruka-certified healer, to answer these powerful questions. Together, they dive into the subconscious roadblocks and hidden fears that sabotage our success and explore how to align your energy and identity with the life you want to create. Key questions answered include: Why do I feel blocked from manifesting my goals? How do I break the cycle of self-sabotage? Why does achieving more success or love feel unsafe? What practical steps can I take to align with my dreams and goals? Lucinda offers actionable strategies and deep insights, such as: Recognizing the part of you that might resist what you desire. Reframing self-sabotage as subconscious safety—and how to overcome it. How to challenge limiting beliefs and create new evidence for success. The importance of taking aligned action and stepping into your future self. Practical ways to recognize and interrupt patterns of avoidance. Lucinda also shares her personal journey, including how she overcame profound loss, faced patterns of fear and resistance, and turned her healing work into a life of purpose and abundance. This episode is a powerful guide for anyone who feels stuck, overwhelmed, or blocked in their manifestation journey. Whether you're working toward financial success, love, or personal growth, this conversation will inspire you to break through your limits and take the courageous steps needed to align with your dreams. Check out Lucinda Brandham here: https://www.instagram.com/cindabrandham/

Episode 28: Red Flags in Dating – What to Spot and How to Handle Them In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess and Steph dive into the world of dating red flags with honesty, humor, and actionable advice. Here's what they cover: Personal Red Flags Jess shares her ability to emotionally disconnect and avoid repair. Steph reflects on her own avoidance tendencies and how she's working to overcome them. Common Red Flags in Dating Bad manners or disrespectful behavior. Talking excessively about exes—whether positive or negative. Cocky or arrogant egos and what they might reveal. People with no friends or poor-quality social circles. Audience-Submitted Red Flags Crazy eyes and gut feelings of discomfort. Overly sexual comments or behavior, especially when inappropriate or unsolicited. Dishonesty, even when the truth is harmless. Key Insights and Takeaways Context matters: Is it truly a red flag, or could it be nerves or past trauma? Recognizing attachment styles: Anxious attachment can manifest as "too much, too soon." Healthy dating practices: "Abundance dating" helps those with anxious tendencies gain perspective. Self-reflection: Are you projecting past fears, or is this behavior genuinely concerning? Empowering Advice Focus on how someone makes you feel rather than ticking boxes of red flags. Dating is about collecting data—learn from every interaction to refine your boundaries and values. Be willing to communicate and give space for growth, but know when to walk away. This episode is a candid, relatable, and practical guide to navigating red flags and finding clarity in the dating world. Perfect for anyone looking to date with more awareness and confidence!

Episode 26: Why do I feel confident until I step out of the house? In this captivating episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess dives into the question: "Why do I feel confident until I step out of the house?" Joined by the inspiring Chloe Bromage, founder of Health Hyped and a self-proclaimed "confidence queen," they unpack the deeper reasons behind this all-too-common experience. Key Highlights: The Root of the Question: Chloe explains how confidence at home is tied to feeling safe and in control. When we step outside, the unpredictability of the world triggers fears of judgment, rejection, and loss of control, making it less about confidence and more about safety. Practical Confidence-Building Tips: Push your comfort zone gradually—start small and build from there. Embody the version of yourself who has already achieved what you’re striving for. Learn to act despite fear—confidence isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to keep going. Chloe’s Vulnerable Insights: Chloe shares her journey of addressing buried trauma in a life-changing session with Jess, where she discovered the roots of behaviors tied to her confidence. She opens up about recently leaving a relationship that seemed perfect on paper, choosing herself and showing true courage. Confidence and Success in Business: Chloe attributes her business success to confidence, trusting her intuition, and embracing imperfection. Overcoming the fear of failure and playing the long game are essential for achieving lasting success. This episode offers a raw and relatable look at what it takes to step into your confidence and stay there, whether at home, in public, or in your professional life. If you’ve ever wondered why your confidence feels shaky when stepping outside, this conversation will give you the clarity and tools to tackle it head-on. You can find Chloe Bromage here

Episode 24: Why do I blame myself for everything? In this episode of Why Do I Do That?, Jess tackles the tough question: "Why do I blame myself for everything?" She breaks down the cycle of self-blame and introduces the idea of self-gaslighting—where we see an issue, question it, but then turn it back onto ourselves. Jess explains why so many of us, especially women in challenging or toxic relationships, fall into this trap of internalizing blame. She shares how self-blame feels like control and safety but, in reality, keeps us stuck. By listening, you’ll learn to spot self-gaslighting patterns, understand where they come from, and discover how to break free. Jess offers clear steps for reclaiming your voice, standing up for yourself, and building healthier relationships. This episode is a powerful wake-up call for anyone tired of carrying all the blame. If you know someone in this cycle, send them this episode—it might be the game-changer they need.

Episode 22: Why Do I Get On The Attack With Certain People? In this engaging episode of Why Do I Do That?, host Jess delves into a question many of us face: why do we feel the need to be on the attack around certain people? Whether it's a friend, a family member, or the all-too-familiar mother-in-law, Jess breaks down the triggers behind these interactions and offers insights into how to navigate them with more ease. Jess highlights that it's natural not to like or get along with everyone, but things become tricky when we can't easily distance ourselves from these individuals. Through personal anecdotes and client stories, Jess explores how certain people remind us of unresolved issues from our past, often evoking childhood dynamics. She introduces powerful self-inquiry tools like asking, "Who do they remind you of?" and "What part of me are they bringing out?" These questions help uncover deeper reasons behind our reactions, enabling us to heal and coexist with those who push our buttons. By shifting from an attack mode to curiosity, Jess encourages listeners to look inward and ask: what is the threat I feel, and is it real? She also shares practical tips, like the disarming “airhead response,” which neutralises conflict and shifts the burden of the argument back to the other person. With humour and wisdom, Jess emphasises that healing is not about cutting people off, but rather about understanding the parts of ourselves that others trigger. Whether you're navigating difficult relationships or simply want to learn how to be less reactive, this episode is packed with valuable advice that will leave you feeling empowered to handle even the most challenging interactions. Tune in for an insightful, transformative discussion!

Episode 20: Unlock Your True Power & Embrace the Balance of Masculine and Feminine Energy In this episode of *Why Do I Do That?*, Jess dives deep into a question that resonates with many: Why do I find myself stuck in my masculine energy and struggle to embrace my feminine side? Jess reveals the critical reasons behind this imbalance and how it impacts your life—from reproductive issues and burnout to relationship dynamics. Discover why staying in your masculine might feel safer but is holding you back from true fulfillment. She unpacks how trauma and societal pressures shape our energy and shares actionable insights to help you achieve a harmonious balance. In this episode, you’ll learn: - **The core differences** between masculine and feminine energies. - **Why women often default to masculine energy** and the hidden traumas behind it. - **Practical tips** for integrating more feminine flow into your life, even if you’re entrenched in your masculine. Jess’s personal journey and professional expertise shed light on the transformative power of balancing these energies. Don’t miss out on this empowering episode that offers a pathway to a more balanced, fulfilling life. Tune in and start your journey towards balance today! 🌟✨

Episode 18: Overcoming the Fear of Speaking Up In this compelling episode, Jess dives deep into a powerful question: *Why am I so afraid to share my traumatic experiences?* This episode unpacks the intense emotions and fears that hold us back from speaking our truth. Jess explores the emotional weight of making trauma real by vocalising it. From the fear of not being believed to the potential fallout with loved ones, she addresses the core anxieties that come with revealing our personal pain. Through her own experiences, Jess sheds light on the complex dynamics of family and personal trauma, emphasising the importance of strategic and thoughtful disclosure. Drawing from her own journey, Jess illustrates how confronting these fears can lead to profound personal growth and empowerment. She recounts the mixed reactions she faced, from supportive messages to harsh criticisms, and how embracing her truth empowered her to continue advocating for herself and others. If you've ever hesitated to speak up about your experiences or struggled with the repercussions of doing so, this episode is a must-listen. Jess offers insightful advice on navigating these challenging waters and finding your voice amidst adversity. Tune in to discover how acknowledging and confronting these fears can lead to healing and a renewed sense of self. Don’t miss this transformative conversation—listen now and share it with anyone who needs a dose of courage and inspiration! 🌟

Episode 16: Why do I need so much alone time? In Episode 16 of Why Do I Do That?, hosts dive into the topic of why some people crave extensive alone time and the underlying reasons behind this need. They discuss how individual differences, from personality types to stress levels, play a role in our need for solitude. The episode explores various perspectives, including the impact of trauma, energy drains from certain people, and the importance of understanding one's energy leaks. The hosts emphasise that craving alone time isn't inherently wrong but can indicate a need for recharging or dealing with energy-draining situations. They suggest evaluating whether solitude is a protective measure against unsafe feelings or a reaction to certain social dynamics. The discussion also touches on the balance between alone time and connection, advocating for leaning into relationships when needed and addressing personal boundaries. Listeners are encouraged to assess their energy levels, the quality of their interactions, and their lifestyle choices to better understand and manage their need for solitude. The episode wraps up with insights on using self-awareness and communication to navigate personal energy and enhance overall well-being.

Episode 14: Breaking the “Single Mom” Stigma with Gav 🎙️ Ever wondered if being a single mom is a dating dealbreaker? 🤔 Join us in this eye-opening episode as Jess chats with her partner Gav, who brings a refreshing perspective to this often feared topic. We dive into a question many of my single mom followers have asked: “Does having kids make dating harder?” Gav shares his candid thoughts on how past experiences shape our dating views and how societal pressures often create outdated stereotypes. From our own journey of blending families to the benefits of being upfront about your situation, this episode challenges the old-school stigma and highlights the evolving landscape of relationships. Tune in to discover why having kids shouldn’t be a barrier but rather a unique aspect of your dating profile that can attract the right kind of partner. Plus, get insights on how embracing your role as a mum with confidence can change the dating game entirely. Ready to shift your mindset? Listen now and reshape your dating narrative! 💫

Episode 12: Why Do I Cheat? Unraveling the Intricacies of Infidelity Welcome to episode 12 of Why Do I Do That? In this captivating episode, we dive deep into the loaded and controversial question: "Why do I cheat, even when I feel really bad afterwards?" Join us as we explore the multifaceted nature of infidelity with our insightful guest, Steph J. Steph's knee-jerk reaction to this question leads us into the realm of shadow work, where we uncover the hidden desires and suppressed emotions that might drive someone to cheat. Through personal anecdotes and professional insights, we discuss how deep-seated needs and unconscious patterns play a crucial role in this behavior. We'll take you through real-life scenarios, shedding light on how trauma recreation and unmet desires for passion and aliveness can push individuals towards infidelity. You'll hear about a fascinating case study from the Ashley Madison documentary, revealing that many cheaters still love their partners but seek something missing in their lives—often a sense of excitement and vitality. This episode isn't just about understanding why people cheat; it's about offering a compassionate and curious perspective on these behaviors. We discuss the importance of self-awareness, radical honesty, and integrating different parts of our personalities to lead more fulfilling lives. Whether you're grappling with similar questions or seeking to understand human behavior better, this episode is a must-listen. Join us for an enlightening conversation that blends psychological insights with practical advice, helping you navigate the complexities of human relationships.

Episode 10: Ever wonder why you can't handle too many sounds at once in your home? This episode dives into why women, especially mums, feel overwhelmed by noise. You’ll discover two main reasons: how you were raised and the state of your nervous system. 🔍 Key Insights: Childhood Influences: Your reactions to noise might mirror how your parents reacted. If you were told to be quiet as a child, you're likely to tell your kids the same. Nervous System Overload: Chronic stress weakens your vagus nerve, shrinking your window of tolerance for everyday stressors. This makes you more prone to fight-or-flight responses over minor triggers. 💡 Transformative Solutions: Heal Your Nervous System: Learn simple techniques to strengthen your vagus nerve and expand your window of tolerance. Lifestyle Adjustments: Cut out stimulants like caffeine and rethink those true crime podcasts that keep you on edge. Discover practical steps to reclaim your calm and handle life’s chaos with ease. For a quick eye movement technique to soothe your nervous system, check out my social media. 🔗 Share the Wisdom: Know someone struggling with overstimulation and burnout? Share this episode with them and help spread the calm. To work with, learn from or get in contact with Jess, use the link below: https://linktr.ee/jessellaainsworth