X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

Well, here's the first thing you can figure out, just from the title: Emily and I are obviously not disappointed enough in each other to avoid such a touchy topic. BUT...maybe that's a clue why this relational disappointment thing never gets talked about much. So what are we actually covering here? I mean, isn't it unrealistic to get into a relationship thinking everything is always going to be perfect and ideal? That brings up the concept of "macro-disappointments" vs. "micro-disappointments". And what about other couple's Facebook highlight reels that only show the shiny, happy stuff? Is that driving unreasonable disappointment on the part of the rest of us? Is there really such thing as "the seven-year itch", and if so is it more about disappointment or boredom? And hey, wait a minute. Isn't boredom disappointing? Does long-term disappointment usually start right at the beginning of a relationship? Why is that? And what about this business of "spicing up a relationship"? How does that work to ward off potential disappointment? Why is being each other's best friend a magic elixir to cure disappointment? What if what causes disappointment is legitimately beyond the control of the disappointing partner? What if a partner is intentionally disappointing, and expecting to get away with it? Why does being "nice" disappoint WAGs? How do couples put their relationship at blatant risk for disappointment? Why is comfort the enemy of marriage excitement? Finally, what if you're actually IN a deeply disappointing relationship. Now what? And by the way, is it any wonder that Rupert Holmes was a "one hit wonder"? Check out https://scotandemily.com and download your free copy of Dealing With Breakups. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Maybe Emily and I waited almost 20 years to cover this subject because it's a touchy one that hits just a little too close to home for both of us. But hey, it's an important one. How do you deal with your ex...especially if you're now in a new relationship? Check it out, there are at least three categories of ex that could still theoretically be haunting your life after a breakup or divorce. And you'd better believe we'll be covering how to handle the necessarily interactions with each type. But what if your new relationship is being negatively impacted by pesky exes? Or what if your new flame is weirdly jealous of your old one? How do you handle the infamous 'child exchanges' mandated by custody agreements? What if an ex (predictably) tries to drive a wedge between you and your new partner? What if your ex is desperately trying to get you back? Or what if one of you isn't quite over the last relationship? On the other hand, what if you've made a significant upgrade over your ex and they're super upset and catty about your new 'trophy'? And in that case, isn't it weird how we start sort of rooting for our ex to find someone new--and who they like even better--themselves? And on that note, can we actually be friends with our ex, even when we're in a new relationship? Should you delete their numbers from your phone, or not? What if you're in a 'rebound relationship', and it's looking like your new partner might end up back with their old one? Hey...it happens a lot. On the other hand, what if they're toxic and just won't leave well enough alone? And wait a minute, was that a 'Rubberband Man' reference, out of the blue? Get the book Dealing With Breakups and more when you visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Last week we covered how dating and relating between men and women has evolved over the past quarter century. But what about the next 25 years...and indeed the rest of this century coming up? What's going on with gender politics? Are people finally sick of it? Will we be able to define "man" and "woman" again? Is Masculinity back? Will women start prioritizing motherhood over Hofstedian societal gender roles again? Will people continue being social IRL, or will social media make things even worse? Will we return to valuing the life of our own species? Will we halt the aging process? Then what? Will translators minimize the impact of language barriers? Is AI going to continue to make online dating/apps difficult? Have AI girlfriends already failed forever? What will ultimately replace dating? What about cyber partners? (robots) Will the porn be so good in the future that it really is better than the real thing? (e.g. Virtual physical presence) What will the impact of extreme selfhood be? More narcissism leading to more robotics due to less social resistance? And...the question we all REALLY wonder about: Are we seeing things, or is speed dating making a comeback? The first step to getting ready for whatever is coming in your dating life is to visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Okay, I'm going to admit right up front that Emily and I obviously believe relationships are worth getting into, since we've shared a great one together for almost 19 years. But we also completely get that YOU might not be like US. In this episode we acknowledge all the legit reasons why perfectly good, decent and sane people might just swear off getting into any kind of relationship at all with MOTOS, let alone long-term ones. For starters, we talk about how this isn't our grandparents' world anymore and how that affects people's perspectives on relationships. How can either a man OR a woman have a valid point in this context? Even though it may seem sad to think that people are out there completely giving up on finding the relationship they actually want, what if there are folks who really do NOT want that in their lives...and they're simply saying 'no' to societal pressure to conform? Does that societal pressure even exist anymore, by the way? Even if you ARE relationship minded, is it okay to think these thoughts? And well, what are the good reasons to get into a relationship? And why stay in one if it's going poorly? On a related note, is arguing and bickering a sign the relationship's in trouble...or could it be the exact opposite? Well, the easy answer (demanding more elaboration, which we offer) is 'it depends'. Stay tuned as we make the case for getting everything off your chest as perhaps the healthiest sign of all that the relationship is a healthy one. It's just a shame that too many couples never even realize that level of intimacy is open to them. Get on our calendar and talk to us for FREE at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

First and foremost, if you think even for a second that this episode is going to be about two dinosaurs reminiscing about the past, you're in for a surprise. Given that we've been totally immersed in dating and relationship stuff for nearly 20 years, we've had our fingers on the pulse of how men and women relate for a LONG time. On top of that, with a milestone high school reunion coming up this year, I've found myself thinking about how dating and relating has evolved...and surprised myself with a few key revelations. With all of that in mind, we have an honest, eye-opening conversation featuring straight talk about what we're GLAD isn't going on anymore. And yes, we also find a few examples of really good stuff that used to happen that just doesn't anymore. For instance, what good has the Internet done...but at what cost? How did 'hookup culture' change the game? How about pharmaceutical technology, of all things? At what time in history were women the most attractive? Were some of the styles and behaviors of the past that we cringe at when we see old pictures really BETTER, not WORSE? Was dating really drudgery, and whatever it has evolved (or devolved?) into really better? Have men forgotten how to be attractive? (Expect surprising answers on that one.) Is the post-modern version of seduction and courtship really different? What about texting vs. the now lost art of the phone call? Let's just say those questions were merely the warmup. Look forward to an entertaining yet brutally honest take on what should be brought back vs. what should be left in the past. Talk to us for 25 minutes FREE, download our FREE book on how to handle breakups and MORE at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Finally, here's the full episode on a topic that everyone wonders about. It's no secret that men often want to date younger women. But what is it about those guys who are actually successful at doing so? And is it really true that many amazing young women actually prefer older men? First off, what actually counts as an 'older man' to a younger woman? Does the 'half your age plus seven' rule make any sense? What if our mental images and/or stereotypes about what an older man and younger woman look like as a couple are challenged? Above and beyond all of that, what are some legit factors to consider when there's an age gap? I mean, is age really 'just a number'? What's up with dating sites only for people over fifty...is that what the market is really looking for? And speaking of online dating, how about those sites that specialize in 'sugar daddy' arrangements? Is there something to be said for being an 'old soul', looking for someone who's a better fit at an older age? Or is it that younger women like older men because 'little boys don't grow up'? Wait a minute...on that note, is it that men who prefer younger women really only want a tighter, sexually fit body to have sex with? Or is there more to both what younger women and older men tend to be looking for? And what about the 'skeletons in the closet' as we get older, and the effect it has on dating someone younger? What if older guy's new young wife wants to have kids? And is younger wife still gonna be 'all in' when her husband is old and in need of care while she's still young and active? And wait a minute...what about the newest trend of older women basically demanding a younger man to go out with? What's driving that? Pick your time to talk to us 1-on-1, download the free book and more when you go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

We've all found ourselves out on a date with someone who creeped us out. And no...it's not gender-specific. But what does 'creepy' even mean? Why is it often so hard to define? Well, in this episode we break down exactly what constitutes such infamous creepy behavior...and how it tends to impact men and women differently. Is it possible some people don't even realize they're being creepy? Do others know for sure they are in fact creeps, but like it that way? What's more, why is it perfectly normal guys are often so concerned they're going to come across as creepy? How do we relax and avoid that worry...lest it weirdly become a self-fulfilling prophecy? What is the difference between male creepy behavior and the female version? How many women out there have somehow convinced themselves it's impossible for them to be creepy? Stay tuned for the one shining example of how the absolute best of intentions can actually backfire spectacularly and seem insanely creepy. What are the warning signs that the person you're with is starting to get creeped out? Next, Emily creeps me out in real time by randomly shifting the discussion to disgusting bodily functions...and in doing so makes a really good point. What kind of behavior might be creepy when you barely know someone, but completely normal and okay once you've been around each other for a while? And why is that? Under what rare circumstances could a certain person get away with something socially that would be creepy if nearly anyone else did it? If a first date is going in a creepy direction, is there any way to salvage it? Is 'Mr. Nice Guy' creepy to women? How can a man who by all appearances should be the most attractive to women easily end up being the creepy guy instead...for the same reasons? And why is is that whether we move too quickly or too slowly sexually, we're creepy? Get on our calendar and talk to us. The first 25 minutes is free: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

You hear the term 'power couple' quite a bit, but what exactly does it mean? We know one when we see one, for sure. But is it necessarily a good thing? Would we want to team up with our significant other to BE one? If so, how do we BECOME one? Well, let's first get this out in the open: I'm not sure whether we are indeed a 'power couple' or not, especialy after this conversation...as entertaining and informative as it was. So then, how about it? What kind of 'power' are we talking about here, anyway? What does it take for a couple to add up to more than the sum of their individual parts? What are the actual, real-world traits of a 'power couple'? Can a couple be a 'power couple' simply by acting like one, or does that distinction have to be earned...if not bestowed upon them by others? What are the different ways can a couple indeed be powerful? Doesn't the expectation to be a 'power couple' put a lot of pressure on spouses, especially if one wants it more than the other? Is this something we should aspire to--in one way or another--or does it all only relegate the relationship to feeling more like 'work' again? Is it true in this case that the bigger they are, the harder they fall? And hey, is there such thing as 'power parents'? That sounds flat-out cringeworthy. One thing's for sure about this episode, we didn't leave anything on the table, all the while taking ourselves far less seriously than any 'power couple' typically should. Catch show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Who knows why this topic hadn't been covered yet around here? My edumckayted guess is it probably had something to do with repressed memories. Yes, Emily and I both are survivors of first marriages affected by profound illness. And yes...we both strongly agree you would be better off avoiding psychotic people in general, especially as romantic partners. But when you get right down to it, that's only one kind of person who you should definitely write out of your romantic story. So why is it, then, that too many people end up with the wrong person? Is it that they ignore red flags? Is it failure to even recognize red flags at all? Or does low self-esteem compel people to settle, which is at least better than being lonely? Is it about being 'clouded by beauty vision'? For sure, some people are manipulated or even threatened by black-hearted partners into sticking around. Or what if it's something else entirely? Well, here at X & Y Communications we believe in deserving what you want. That means rolling up the sleeves and doing what it takes to make the right relationships happen. Well, after this ironically funny and entertaining episode, we pledge you'll be much better equipped to pick up on warning signs, make better decisions and most of all...ultimately weed out crazy, selfish, mean, addicted, needy and/or fundamentally incompatible people. Visit the web site for free downloads, show notes and to talk to us FREE for 25 minutes: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

As the lyrics of one of Tyler Childers' songs say, 'There is hurt you can cause that time alone cannot heal'. When it comes to our interactions with women, a breathtaking amount of that pain is caused by what we say...or what SHE says. And when we get into a relationship, the stakes get even higher. We get straight to the point in this episode, first addressing the weird childhood refrain that 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me'. So then, what about childhood? How does what our parents--and maybe even teachers--tell us form our views of and expectations toward future romantic relationship? What's the truth about how early-stage communication between men and women can deeply impact BOTH participants, both in the short-term and the longer-term? What are the differences between how men and women tend to process conversational conflict...and the surprising similarities? What are the patterns that lead to couples blurting out extremely painful barbs at each other...and how can we guard against saying that which can never be unsaid? In what ways can be arm ourselves with wisdom so as to prevent harmful insults, angry threats and heated 'confessions' from ever being uttered to begin with? What subjects should couples absolutely avoid if they want to avoid bitterness and resentment? Finally, listen in for some practical, actionable habits that Emily and I have adopted within the framework of our marriage to ensure our conversations remain productive...even when we're cranky? Find the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

In the second installment of our two-part episode, Emily and I break down the little things couples do (often to each other) that make a relationship suck. To kick things off, we talk about the scene in the movie The Good, The Bad And The Ugly itself that's the best metaphor for how men and women ruin their relationships together. Next, we talk about the importance of realizing that some allegedly 'small' annoyances in a relationship are actually HUGE to the other partner. And YES...you want examples, and we've got 'em. What's the difference between being snarky and being a smart-ass...and is either okay? What are some dangerous ways that bad parenting can actually negatively affect your relationship? What should always be off the table in any disagreement and NEVER fair game? And how about those habits we fall into that seem innocuous at first, but prove to be toxic over time? What kinds of expectations are too idealistic for real life...and which are perfectly reasonable? How do external stresses seep into a relationship to make it worse? What negative effects can pregnancy have if we're not vigilant? How about blended families? What happens when men and women confuse being equal with being the same? And no discussion of the little things that can wreck a relationship would be complete without discussion of your sex life together, right? Get ready for a no-holds-barred experience, as no stone gets left unturned. And after listening, get all the free goodies and more by checking out https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that trust looks like. What causes men and women to lack (or lose) trust for each other? How do established mindsets wreak destruction on a nascent relationship before it even has a chance? Should two people trust each other at the beginning blindly, or is that earned over time? What is a reasonable amount of suspicion versus simply being paranoid? What do you do when lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? And how can we shake that nagging feeling of unwillingness to trust again after getting hurt over and over...isn't that kind of like not trusting oneself to begin with? And what about the strain that long-distance relationships put on trust? Do pre-nuptial agreements automatically betray lack of trust right from the beginning? How much does communication really have to do with all of this? Why does Emily enthusiastically support my in-field outings with you guys to practice meeting women? And for the big finale, we cover the three cornerstones of a good, solid trusting relationship that's built to last. So what about you? Are you in a relationship where trust is lacking, and want to either build it up or get it back? Would you like to get into a healthy relationship but find it hard to trust again? Let's get on the phone together and talk about it. Get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!