Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary: Have you ever wondered why trauma seems to leave lasting marks on your mind, heart, and even relationships?  In today's conversation, I sit down with Dr. J. Otis Ledbetter, author of Set Free, Released from the Damage of Trauma, to uncover how we can overcome the destructive effects of trauma and move towards God's peace and restoration.   Drawing from scripture and real-life experiences, Dr. Ledbetter reveals how even biblical heroes wrestled with trauma and how we can learn from their stories to create tranquil paths of healing and wholeness.  If you've been searching for hope after loss, abuse, crisis, or disappointment, this episode will encourage you that freedom is possible. Today, we're going to be talking about how to overcome the lasting damage of trauma through God's word.    Quotables from the episode: Trauma is not the event. Trauma is the chronic reaction to that event. Trauma is ongoing.  An event can happen and then it can be in your past.  You may never forget it, but it no longer identifies you.  And it no longer points the direction that you should go, whether life or death. The first emotion that somebody faces after a traumatic event is fear. Fear leads to anxiety. Anxiety leads to mood swings.  Mood swings will lead you into isolation. Isolation brings the worst. It brings hopelessness. And it brings despair, and loss of purpose. The truth is what heals. God does not heal deceit.  He heals truth. The one word for parents to pass a heritage to their children their faith, is intentionality. Just do something.  Don't think it can be done by accident. Be intentional. The trauma of the unknown is, I think, the most garden variety trauma you can have. Don't leave out the spiritual because there is a God who loves you and he is a God of hope. God knows us so intimately that he knows what we need and willingly provides it. God says, come to me if you're heavy laden.  I'll give you rest.  He didn't say I'll rescue you.  He's not going to rescue you.  But he's going to give you a place of rest.    Scripture References: Isaiah 61:1—“He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.” Psalm 40:2 (NIV) – “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” Joel 2:25 (ESV) – “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.”   Recommended Resources: Set Free, Released from the Damage of Trauma by Dr. J. Otis Ledbetter Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Dr. J. Otis Ledbetter: Website / Facebook / X Connect with Dr. Bengtson: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Otis Ledbetter lives in Clovis, California, with his wife Gail. He is an author, conference speaker, and the Lead Pastor at Sonrise Church. He holds a Doctor of Ministry degree from Liberty University’s Theological Seminary.  He and Gail have three grown children and twelve grandchildren.  He has written numerous articles for magazines and specializes in Heritage Builders workshops nationally and internationally, which teach parents and grandparents the spiritual, emotional, and social components of the heritage they are passing to the next generation.  His books include Your Heritage, In the Secret Place, Soul Hunger : Satisfy Your Heart’s Deepest Longing, and his latest 2022 release Set Free: Released from the Damage of Trauma. He has been featured on numerous radio and television broadcasts. His book Your Heritage was distributed as a premium offer on Billy Graham’s Hour of Decision.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: When someone you love is living with PTSD, it can leave you feeling helpless, confused, and afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. You want to help—but what if your well-intended words make things worse? In honor of PTSD Awareness Month, Rev. Jessica Van Roekel and I address the questions so many caregivers, spouses, friends, and family members quietly ask: How do I support someone with PTSD? What helps? What hurts? And how do I walk with them without losing myself? This conversation offers practical guidance, psychological insight, and biblical hope for anyone loving someone through trauma.  On a recent episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I offered an episode discussing Understanding PTSD: What it Is, What It Isn't, and How God Meets Us in the Aftermath of Trauma. We are continuing this important discussion with How to Help a Loved One Who Is Struggling with PTSD: What to Do and What Not to Do. Quotables from the Episode: PTSD is not a character issue or a lack of effort. It's a nervous system injury. What looks like withdrawal, irritability, or emotional distance is often the brain doing its best to keep a person safe. Change does not mean broken beyond repair. The brain is wounded, but it's also capable of healing. When we name trauma responses accurately, we reduce shame and increase compassion. PTSD behaviors are not about a lack of love. They're about a lack of felt safety. A regulated nervous system helps regulate another nervous system. You don't have to fix the trauma, but your calm, consistent presence communicates safety. Validation quiets the brain's alarm system and reduces emotional intensity. Trauma healing doesn't follow a timeline. It follows safety. Loving someone with PTSD is not about doing everything right. It's about doing your best with compassion. Scripture References: Romans 15:1 “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.” Isaiah 42:3 “A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Rev. Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook Connect with Dr. Bengtson: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others. Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Have you ever felt like life knocked you down so hard you weren’t sure you’d ever get back up again? Today’s guest, Greg J. Horn, knows that kind of pain firsthand. After losing three close friends to suicide and experiencing the devastating collapse of his own business, marriage, and home—all within 24 hours—Greg was left at rock bottom. But God met him there. From that place of brokenness, a new ministry was born: Hope is Here. Today on Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Greg shares how to move from fear to hope, how gratitude can transform our outlook, and how we can live each day with a renewed sense of purpose. Quotables from the episode: I lost my business, my home, and my marriage in about a 24-hour period and I’ll say it, I was hopeless. Honestly, my faith in Jesus is what really kept me alive during that season.” Fear, we see it, but so many times it’s not real. Even though I did feel fearful, I could stay hopeful as I read God’s Word and didn’t give in to my feelings of fear. Biblical hope is when you say, ‘God, even though I don’t see You working, and I don’t feel You working, I’m going to trust You because You are my source of hope.’ I can tell you now on the other side of it, 20 years later, that all things do work together.” No matter how hopeless it may look, no matter how hopeless it may feel, God truly will use all of it for His glory. As I leaned into Jesus, He slowly but surely started healing the broken pieces of my heart and my mind. You have to choose to be resilient, but with Jesus’ help you can do that. Instead of asking why so much, say, ‘God, what do You want me to learn from this, and how can I be a blessing to other people through it?’ God, through this process, gave me an acronym when I started Hope Is Here, the word HOPE: H-Hold On --everything can change in 24 hours. I mean, something can change for the better. Yes, it can change for the worse, just like my situation did, but just to simply hold on. know God may show up in a way that'll just blow your mind and give you hope, even though things seem hopeless at the time. O-Open up to at least one person--So many times the enemy lies to it and just says, you know, this is hopeless, you're never going to climb out of this situation. And I'm thankful that I was able to open up the others and tell them when I was hopeless and having suicidal thoughts. And that was just amazing the difference that made. Once again, Jesus modeled that when he asked Peter, James, and John, hey man, I've got this overwhelming situation. P-shift your perspective and do something different/put yourself in a new environment E-Expect to see change     Scripture References: Romans 15:13 (NIV) “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Psalm 27:7 "The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart trusts in you, Lord, and I am helped." Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge God and he will make your path straight.” Psalm 118:24 “"This is the day the Lord has made. I shall be glad and rejoice in it.” Galatians 6:9 “"Do not grow weary and doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up." Proverbs 11:25 “Those who refresh others will be refreshed.” Lamentations 3:21–23 (NIV) “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”   Recommended Resources: Hope is Here Today Radio Show and Podcast, WJMM 99.1FM 8:15am and 12:45pm daily Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Greg Horn: Website / Instagram / Facebook / YouTube / X Connect with Dr. Bengtson: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple Guest: Greg Horn is best known as an encourager, coach, motivator, and speaker. He speaks regularly to organizations, civic groups and churches on the topics of fear, gratitude, and hope. He also hosts the radio show and podcast, Hope is Here, that broadcasts daily, Monday through Friday on multiple radio stations in Central Kentucky. His ministry, Hope is Here, began in December 2017 from a holy discontent that was growing within in him after losing three friends to suicide.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you’ve ever felt ambushed by intrusive thoughts, unwanted mental spirals, or the kind of anxious loops that hijack your peace, you’re not alone—and you’re not powerless. In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, we’re diving into the intersection of biblical truth and brain science, exploring how God designed your mind, why intrusive thoughts show up, and how to interrupt them with evidence-based strategies and Scripture-anchored truth. Whether you struggle with anxiety, guilt, catastrophizing, or “what-if” thinking, you’ll learn practical, hope-filled tools to renew your mind, reclaim your thought life, and experience the calm your soul has been craving. In honor of mental health awareness month, today we’re going to talk about How to Manage Intrusive Thoughts Through Biblical Truth & Brain Science.   Quotables from the episode: You are not at the mercy of your mind. A thought is not a fact. A thought is not a sin. A thought is not your identity. A thought is not your destiny. The amygdala can’t tell the difference between a genuine threat, a hypothetical threat, or a lie masquerading as danger. Romans 12:2 isn’t metaphor, it’s biology: ‘Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.’ You can’t control the first thought, but you can control the next one. Intrusive thoughts thrive in internal chaos; they shrink in stillness. This is just a thought, not a truth, and not a command. You cannot ‘stop thinking’ your way out of intrusive thoughts; you must redirect them. When the body calms down, the amygdala shuts off, and intrusive thoughts lose their volume. You are not losing your mind. You are learning to renew it. Scripture References: Romans 12:2 “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 “Take every thought captive.” Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above.” Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.” Philippians 4:8 “Whatever is true… think about such things.” Romans 8:6 “The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace” Psalm 46:1 “God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Romans 8:1 “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you.” 1 John 4:18 “Perfect love casts out fear.” Matthew 6:34 “Do not worry about tomorrow.” Philippians 1:6 “He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion.” Recommended Resources:  Free Stress-Response Personality Assessment Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Whether you’re battling chronic stress, emotional overload, burnout, or simply the pressures of everyday life, today we’re diving deep into Overcoming Stress with Scripture and Science. We’ll explore what stress does to your brain and body, how to recognize when it’s taking a toll, and—most importantly—God’s proven blueprint for peace, renewal, and rest. If you’ve been craving practical tools rooted in neuroscience and anchored in biblical truth, this episode will speak directly to your heart.   Today’s episode is especially timely because April is Stress Awareness Month. And if there is one thing I’ve consistently seen in 30+ years as a neuropsychologist, it’s this: stress is universal, but suffering under it doesn’t have to be.   Quotables from the episode: In recognition of stress awareness month, I want to remind you that stress doesn’t simply come from “big problems.” Science shows that your brain can interpret noise, clutter, constant notifications, unresolved emotions, lack of sleep, and even chronic busyness the same way it interprets danger. Chronic stress literally shrinks the brain regions involved in emotional regulation and clarity. But the good news? They can also be strengthened—God built neuroplasticity into your biology. Stress is not a spiritual failure. It’s a signal—an invitation—to lean into God’s design for restoration. God doesn’t offer stress management tips—He offers Himself. Peace isn’t a principle. Peace is a person. God created your brain and body with built-in “calm switches." This isn’t just spiritual—it’s neurological. Meditation strengthens the very brain networks stress weakens. “When your mind stays on Him, your brain rewires toward peace.” Replace Fear Thoughts with Scripture-Based Truth. Science calls this cognitive reframing. Scripture calls it taking thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). Neuroscience shows that short pauses throughout the day reduce cumulative stress load. Scripture calls this Selah—a holy pause. Stress may be a reality of life, but peace is the promise of God. Don’t just become aware of stress. Become aware of God—right in the middle of it.   Scripture References: Psalm 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Exodus 33:14 “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you.” Proverbs 12:25 “Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.” Nahum 1:7 “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.”   Recommended Resources:  Free Stress-Response Personality Assessment Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: We all need to work a little harder at resting in contentment… realizing that sometimes marriage is a spectator sport. In a culture that encourages us to find our own happiness, fulfill self, give in to what brings us pleasure, lasting relationships must take a different approach. True selflessness is a reflection of God’s character. Although recent polls seem to indicate an equal divorce rate between Christians and non-believers, this is not exactly true. People who identify as Christians but rarely attend church have a 60% divorce rate while those who attend church regularly, just 38% have been divorced. It is easy to get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent and forget the very ingredients that build a healthy marriage. Join me with Nina Roesner as we discuss the role of unconditional respect in a healthy marriage.   Quotables from the episode: Most people have heard the idea that women need love and men need respect, but in reality, don't we all need a combination of both? Yes. I think the Bible uses that language to communicate very specifically to husbands and wives about some very specific stuff. All relationships have challenges but the best ones surmount the hard times, allow these times to build the relationship instead of destroy it, and learn from one another. Do you respect yourself and others in your relationship through your communication? And I think we need to respect everybody and I think that's a loving thing to do. That's the key. It affects our communication and we can develop resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness over those little things that then stack up and they morph into a life of their own until one day the straw breaks and our spouses left going, "That was not a big deal. You could have just said put your cup in the dishwasher. But the truth is it's built up resentment over time because we don't communicate over the little things until they become a big thing. We do take things personally and it seems maybe I'm wrong but it just seems like over the past decade we're more quick to take offense over things that really don't need to be offended over all you have to do is turn to social media and see how quickly people are offended. If anyone had a right to be offended, it was Jesus. And yet he modeled for us good communication, forgiveness, love, and respect. The idea that men need respect is not just part of some formula but an aspect of the gender differences. Men are wired to protect and provide, and knowing they are appreciated is one of the primary ingredients in lasting marriages. When we get our identity from the Lord, then we're able to appreciate the strengths that God gave us and then bring forth those strengths in the relationship in a way that we weren't before. We are actually useful in that relationship in a way that deeply impacts everything. But so often we buy the lives of the culture and we go down these paths of thinking we're worthless or we're not valued and you know people treat us this way so it reinforces it or we're looking for that because if you have a belief like that you're gonna find it everywhere. But when we really have a solid identity in Christ and I don't pretend I'd be fully there, but I'm so much more there than I used to be. It doesn't matter what people say or do. On a biological level, God designed this so well, because your brain chemistry changes when you forgive. The other thing is, is it's a humbling activity that puts us in the proper alignment with the Lord because we don't have the right to harbor unforgiveness. We're not judge and jury over this other person, and by the way Christ already paid for that. So who do we think we are? Excuse me, the seat on the throne has been taken. get off, right? So, when we forgive, it's like the brain chemistry changes and we're able to then have a clean slate here. God uses pain in our lives to mold and shape us. Pain is the biblical path to growth. It’s not just the church itself that’s the key to a successful marriage; it’s all aspects of faith—prayer, Bible study, gratitude, God-awareness. It is easy to get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent and forget the very ingredients that build a healthy marriage. According to recent studies, being a committed, faithful believer makes a measurable difference in marriage.   Recommended Resources: The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband by Nina Roesner Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Nina Roesner: Website / Facebook / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Nina Roesner is the author of The Respect Dare and With All Due Respect. She serves as the executive director of Greater Impact Ministries. She has more than 20 years in the communications and training industry and has coached church staffs, pastors, executives, and managers. She and her husband, and their three children, live near Cincinnati.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In a world where constant notifications, curated feeds, and digital pressure shape how we see ourselves, many are left feeling more anxious, isolated, and distracted than ever. We long for a life that is full of deep connection with God, ourselves, and others. And yet we’ve become programmed to seek peace, contentment, and happiness from our phones. Deep down, we know this isn’t how we were created to live. As endless scrolling leaves us feeling anxious, depressed, distracted, ad alone, we realize our true needs can’t be met by turning to social media in every slow, mundane moment. If you feel like your digital life could use a reset, this episode is for you.   Quotables from the episode: Social media can so easily steal our peace, distort our identity, and drain the joy God intends for us, especially when we are already struggling with anxiety, insecurity, or loneliness. That is why I am delighted to welcome Allie Marie Smith, author of Social Media Reset: A 30-Day Guided Journey to Unplug, Reconnect with God, and Reclaim Your Joy. Allie has spent years helping women cultivate mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness, and her newest book offers a practical and faith-filled path to break free from digital overwhelm and rediscover God’s voice above the noise. In a world where constant notifications, curated feeds, and digital pressure shape how we see ourselves, many are left feeling anxious, isolated, and distracted than ever.  We long for a life that is full of deep connection with God, ourselves, and others. As endless scrolling leaves us feeling anxious, depressed, distracted, and alone, we realize our true needs can't be met by turning to digital media in every slow, mundane moment.  If you feel like your digital life could use a reset, this is the episode for you. Romans 12. 2 summarizes what we're talking about today: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” It impacts each one of us on such a profound level, on a soul level, on a spiritual level, an emotional level, even in our brains and in our bodies.     Scripture References: Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Isaiah 30:15 – “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…”   Recommended Resources:  Social Media Reset: A 30-Day Guided Journey to Unplug, Reconnect with God, and Reclaim Your Joy by Allie Marie Smith Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host: Connect with Allie Marie Smith: Website / Facebook / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   About Allie Marie Smith: Allie Marie Smith is an award-winning author, speaker, and life coach. She is also the founder and CEO of Wonderfully Made, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to helping girls and women know their God-given value and lead flourishing lives. She lives in Santa Barbara County, where she loves writing, playing with horses, surfing, and adventuring up and down the California coast.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Emotional Exhaustion and holiday burnout are very real experiences. Today we’re going to be talking about the post-holiday aftermath that many of us feel for a myriad of reasons. We are going to cover expectations—unmet and unspoken; the subsequent disappointment which follows and the straight up exhaustion of making Christmas happen for our loved ones. If we don’t pause for a moment following the holidays, we rush headlong into the long winter months with unresolved sadness, which impacts our mental and emotional well-being, making those January blues stronger.   Our goal today is to equip you with space to process what happened or didn’t happen, reminders that you are not alone, and practical hope-filled tools to apply to the post-holiday aftermath you may be experiencing.   Quotables from the episode: The living room is scattered with wrapping paper, ornaments are askew on the tree, and a fine layer of dust covers everything. Family has wandered off to pursue individual pursuits and you’re sitting alone. You did it. You curated gifts based on personal interests and desires. You planned special meals and made the once-a-year Christmas treats. But now the exhaustion sets in. You wonder if your family appreciates your effort, and you question whether it’s worth it. Crawling into bed and skipping the big family get together later that day sounds great. Instead, you pull yourself up and put another foot in front of the other. “Do the next thing,” you whisper, but wonder if you actually can. Today we are talking about How to Heal from Emotional Burnout and Holiday Exhaustion. Emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion is a real experience that many of us deal with. It can start as early as October or November and lingers into January. I love the reminders in Psalm 46 to be still, but it can be so hard to do. But when I keep reading, I see that knowing God and bringing him glory helps me frame being still inside the comforting knowledge that God is with me through it all. It’s the “all” that trips us up during the holidays. How do we determine how much or how little to do? How do we manage our expectations within the framework of stillness wrapped in God’s presence? One of the contributing factors in emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout comes from a motive to serve others and to create a special experience for them. It’s a good and noble desire to do this. The gift of hospitality, even to our own families, is a special way to show them God’s love. That’s where my desire comes from: I want to show my family love by doing for them.  But when we neglect the best thing, we find ourselves running through the holidays in our own strength, which creates emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion. I love the sisters, Mary and Martha, found in Luke 10:38-42. These two women show us how to both serve and be still. I’ve never liked how Martha is shown as wrong and Mary as right. If we take the time to read what Jesus said, we learn there is a good way and a better way. Martha had good motives in serving Jesus and the other guests. In the context of healing from holiday exhaustion and emotional burnout, the desire to create a beautiful holiday experience is a good desire. Martha’s mistake was her unspoken expectation that her sister should be helping her create this amazing experience for the Lord. However, Mary spent her time listening at the feet of Jesus. While it looked like she was doing nothing, she shows us how being still is an active response. Spending time with Jesus is a better desire. It changes us from the inside out. Let’s explore how to hold both the good and the better in the same space and time. I’ve always had mixed feelings when it comes to the account of Mary and Martha. I want to be a Mary, but I definitely relate to Martha’s personally as a get-it-done kind of person. I can’t tell you how often I hear “I don’t know how you do all you do!” And in transparency, for many years, I wore that as a badge of honor, until doing became my downfall. One thing that has always stood out to me in the account of these two sisters is when Scripture says But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. It’s not that what Martha was doing was bad…it just wasn’t the best thing. It’s so easy to set aside our private, personal time with Jesus during the crazy, busy holiday season, and embarrassingly, I have succumbed to that at times. But what you’re saying is that healing from emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion starts with being still with Jesus. It’s within the stillness with Jesus where we can be refreshed and guided for our next thing. We can ask the Holy Spirit to show us where we may have expectations that could lead to disappointment. I must continually remind myself that life is not a movie script, with perfectly plotted responses. There is no call for “Cut!” or “Go again.” Our family members deal with their own internal angsts, expectations, and disappointments, which clash with ours. If we start the day with Jesus and invite him into every part of our day, we can hold the good with the better and reveal both a Martha and a Mary side to our families and ourselves. Unmet expectations (of others and ourselves) can contribute to emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so we have to be intentional when we want to change course. Addressing expectations by making time with Jesus a priority during the holiday season is vital, but let’s turn our attention to some practical steps. One step we can do post-holiday is to ask our families what traditions or activities are important to them.  We may be doing all the things, but maybe we don’t need too. Taking the time to talk about expectations, and adjusting them going forward both helps to heal, and create self-guards going forward. A second aspect that crucial for our healing from emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout is to Create space in your life to rest and recover. There’s no universal required day to take down the decorations and return the gift bags to their storage space. Lay on the couch post-Christmas and New Years. Turn off the lamps and turn on the Christmas lights. Take time to rejoice in Jesus coming to earth for you. Contemplate God with us. Be still and know he is God. Depending on how depleted, fatigued, or burned out you may feel, I would add to that to create a “recovery zone”. Pick a short window every day, even if only 10-20 minutes, where you intentionally do nothing that requires output. Instead, sit with a cozy drink, listen to calm music, step outside for a breath of fresh air. This sends your nervous system the message: “I am safe. I can rest.” The fourth suggestion we have for how to heal from emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout is where we can learn from Mary. I’d suggest a brief post-holiday evaluation can be very helpful by answering two questions. First, What wore you out? Second, What gave you life? Taking the time for a post-holiday evaluation helps heal from emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion because self-reflection helps our brain release what is internally keeping our mind in a state of stress, and is a way to prepare and protect your mental and emotional strength for the next year. This is where we realize where we may have lost sight of “God with us.” It’s easy to keep saying yes and to add more. Some years we have the capacity for a lot and other years we need to scale back. Three of my kids have birthdays in November, January, and February. Reserving energy for their births changed how I did Christmas, from the décor to the gifts to the food. And I discovered an important truth—it’s not so much what we do that makes Christmas special but the who. Who we are with and who we focus on. A fifth tip, which is really important, is to Replenish What Was Depleted. To do this, I would add a third question to the self-evaluation, and that is to ask yourself What did the holidays season drain the most? If it was sleep, commit to earlier nights for a week or two. If it was social energy, block out quiet evenings. If it was finances, enact a low-spend month or two. If it was emotions, journal what you carried and release it to God. We know that the level of emotional exhaustion or holiday burnout is different for everyone, and some years are worse than others, but with a shift in our perspective, a bit of self-reflection, communicating with our family, creating space to rest and recover, and intentionally replenishing what was depleted, we can experience healing from emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion.   Scripture References: Psalm 46:11-12 “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Luke 10:38-42 “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”   Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.