269: Why Is Basic Hygiene Such a Battle With My Tween?

269: Why Is Basic Hygiene Such a Battle With My Tween?

From Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life by Dr. Lisa Damour

April 28, 2026 · 30 min

About this episode

The episode discusses the common hygiene battles parents face with their tweens and offers strategies to address these challenges effectively.

Your tween won't shower, won't change their clothes, or lies about having brushed their teeth or washed their face...Sound familiar? If you're in the middle of a hygiene battle with your tween or young teen, you're not alone, and you're not failing as a parent. This is one of the most common (and confusing) challenges of early adolescence, especially when basic resistance starts to take the form of sneaking or lying. In this episode, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack what's really driving your tween's hygiene resistance, why the lying is probably not what you think it is, and what you can actually do to move things in the right direction without constant conflict. 💡 YOU'LL LEARN: - Why tweens suddenly resist hygiene routines they never had to think about before - How puberty and bodily autonomy are at the heart of the power struggle - Why tweens sometimes lie about this - What to say instead of nagging, checking, or trying to force them to change habits - When to let it go, when to hold the line, and when to bring in outside help - How to use habit science to make new hygiene routines actually stick This…

People in this episode

Hosts: Dr. Lisa Damour, Reena Ninan

Topics covered

  • hygiene resistance
  • tweens
  • parenting challenges
  • adolescence
  • communication strategies

Keywords

  • hygiene
  • tweens
  • parenting
  • adolescence
  • communication
  • resistance
  • lying
  • independence

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