278: ENCORE: How to Stay Connected When Teens Pull Away

278: ENCORE: How to Stay Connected When Teens Pull Away

From Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life by Dr. Lisa Damour

June 30, 2026 · 42 min

About this episode

The episode discusses how parents can maintain a connection with their teens as they become more independent and attached to peers.

Does your teen seem more attached to their friends and their phone than to you? That's not just a feeling, and it's not a phase you have to wait out. Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with two of the world's leading experts on child development, globally renowned physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté, and developmental psychologist and author Dr. Gordon Neufeld, to address how parents can stay connected to their teens, even as they spread their wings. This is one of our most-watched episodes ever on YouTube, and we think you'll understand why. 💡 YOU'LL LEARN: - Why "healthy teenage rebellion" is mostly a myth — and what's actually happening when your teen pulls toward peers and away from you - Why love and good intentions aren't enough on their own — and why a strong attachment bond is the only real delivery system for your care and influence - How to read behavior problems as relationship problems — and why changing the relationship, not just the behavior, is where real progress happens - Why warmth and curiosity are more powerful than consequences and control — and what "collect them before you direct them" actually looks like in family life - How…

People in this episode

Hosts: Dr. Lisa Damour, Reena Ninan

Guests: Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Gordon Neufeld

Topics covered

  • teen relationships
  • parenting strategies
  • attachment theory
  • digital media impact
  • healthy rebellion

Keywords

  • teen attachment
  • parenting
  • child development
  • relationship problems
  • digital media

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Hold On to Your Kids

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