Birds and Bees Don't Fck

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck Alex Gay is a certified intimacy and relationship coach and adult performer from Maryland, where his sex education came from homeschooling, evangelical purity culture, and two conversations with his dad that left him wondering if condoms were worth trading for Cheetos. In this episode we talk about growing up in a religious high-control group, shame as a clue to desire, what kink actually means, why so many men are expected to magically know how to be good in bed, and how Alex went from purity culture to helping queer people, couples, and curious adults feel more confident exploring sex, intimacy, kink, and their own bodies. Want to hear Alex and I unfiltered reading Reddit stories? Join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck FCK LIKE THE MOVIES Where to find Alex: Instagram: @heyalexgay TikTok: @heyalexgay Website: https://heyalexgay.com/ Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon STORY 1: Am I the Asshole for Breaking Up With My Girlfriend After She Wanted Our Relationship to Be Pussy Free? STORY 2: My Husband Needs to Touch My Breasts to Fall Asleep. I'm Exhausted and Need a Divorce. Am I the Asshole? STORY 3: Am I the Asshole for Breaking Up With My Girlfriend Because She Literally Told Me She Would Cheat on Me If I Took a New Job? Like my cuffs AND my vibrator necklace? Me too. Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle Episode Cheat Sheet 00:00 Meet Alex Gay, certified intimacy coach and adult performer 02:23 Adult entertainment, OnlyFans, and why spicy content builds coaching trust 04:48 Coaching sexual confidence, kink, communication, and why sex education is lifelong 05:30 The pressure on cis straight men to magically know how to be good in bed 07:01 Why "normal" does not exist when it comes to sex, bodies, and kink 08:10 Shame as a clue to desire and how taboo shapes what turns us on 10:20 Growing up in Maryland inside an evangelical high-control group 11:44 Homeschool sex ed, Christian sex books, condoms, and the Cheeto trade 16:17 Sleepovers, curiosity, and why honest sex education changes everything 19:30 Boy moms vs. moms who have boys and the emotional weight placed on sons 22:00 Leaving religion, hitting rock bottom, and finding inherent self-worth 25:16 Men's mental health, masculinity, and why 60 men die by suicide every hour 29:28 Queer sex education, coaching, and what gay male coaches bring to the table 31:46 Play parties, group scenes, body confidence, ethical porn, and real naked bodies 38:25 Alex's first OnlyFans videos, strip interviews, and modeling non-sexual intimacy 44:00 Course creation, ADHD, and why the labor of pleasure cannot be on your partner 49:21 Coaching couples, high-mileage questions, and becoming your own sex detective 56:32 Dr. Tush aftercare products, butt play recovery, and kink aftercare 01:00:00 Bonus Reddit stories and where to find Alex Gay

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck Ginger Koehler is a sex educator, columnist and speaker from the Midwest where her earliest "sex talk" happened over mac and cheese at a McAlister's… and ended with her bursting into tears when her mom explained what a period was. In this episode we talk about what it actually means to study sex academically, why people confidently give terrible sex advice online, and the moment Ginger realized she wanted to build a career translating complex sex science into language normal humans can understand. We also get into missionary position myths, writing about sex for a living, and why curiosity might be the most important sexual skill anyone can have. Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Get my Yes / No / Maybe List _________________________________________________ Where to find Ginger: Instagram: @gingerr_and_spice Ginger & Spice Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7f6vAvxqI2aexnSCc32FVT?si=17bfdfc63cbd4df0 Substack: https://gingerkoehler.substack.com/ Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Like spicy jewelry? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle Episode Cheat Sheet 02:51 How Ginger became a sex educator and sex columnist 04:28 Studying sexuality academically vs learning from experience 06:24 "I need you to say blue balls" and translating sex science into normal language 09:43 Epididymal hypertension vs "blue balls" and sexual slang explained 12:08 Why bad sex advice spreads so easily online 14:12 Sex myths people still believe about bodies and pleasure 18:04 Missionary position myths and why "boring" sex positions can actually be great 21:10 How sexual expectations shape dating and relationships 23:10 Writing about sex vs talking about sex publicly 27:28 Thoughtful sex vs performative sex culture 31:44 The moment Ginger decided to study sexuality academically 35:21 Getting the "period talk" over mac and cheese at McAlister's 38:47 Growing up shy about sex and becoming a public sex educator 41:09 Why comprehensive sex education still scares people 45:07 What comprehensive sex education actually teaches 49:12 Why curiosity is the most underrated sexual skill 52:38 What age-appropriate sex education really means

Justin Herman is a television director and producer, internationally touring stand-up comedian, and co-creator of Kinky Comedy originally from Albany, New York where his formal sex education consisted of one awkward school lesson separating boys and girls, a confusing anatomical chart, and a diner conversation with his dad about "the birds and the bees" that definitely did NOT cover kink. In this episode we talk about the lifestyle community, kink and non-monogamy, how Kinky Comedy accidentally became a hub for sexually liberated audiences, the anthropology of play parties, why lifestyle spaces tend to create deeper friendships, and what happens when kinky jokes collide with vanilla comedy crowds. We also get into porn magazines as early sex education, polyamory as emotional calculus, consent culture in BDSM communities, and the surprisingly wholesome reality of seeing your friends thrive in sexually open environments. Then, Justin and I go deep reading Reddit stories over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck ___________________________________________ Where to find Justin: Instagram: @justin_herman Kinky Comedy: https://kinkycomedy.com Website: https://justinhermancomedy.com Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon: STORY 1: Am I the asshole for wanting my girl to do more cleaning around the apartment? STORY 2: Am I the asshole for banning my sister's boyfriend from my house and closing the door in his face? Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle _____________________________________________ Episode Cheat Sheet 02:05 What Kinky Comedy is and how it started 06:40 What "the lifestyle" actually means (kink, BDSM and non-monogamy) 09:10 Why women watching male-male porn often feel safer and more connected to the pleasure 11:15 Building community through sex-positive comedy shows 15:50 Why kinky jokes bomb in vanilla comedy rooms 18:20 XBIZ, adult industry spaces and sexual openness 20:40 Seeing your friends have sex and what it teaches about personality 23:00 The anthropology of play parties and lifestyle spaces 25:15 Why polyamory requires extreme emotional intelligence 27:30 Body positivity, vulvas and seeing real bodies in lifestyle spaces 29:35 Why naked confidence makes everyone hotter 31:50 Consent culture and why lifestyle spaces prioritize women's comfort 34:05 Negotiation vs coercion in kink and BDSM dynamics 36:00 The Orgy Dome at Burning Man and radical consent practices 38:10 Why people attend play parties without having sex 40:13 Justin's real sex education: awkward school lessons and the diner birds-and-bees talk 42:20 Porn magazines as early sex education for teenage boys 46:30 Why boys looking at porn together is its own weird cultural ritual 49:40 Punching down in comedy and evolving standards in humor 54:15 Why comedy should evolve as society evolves 56:30 The origin of the "real good sex guy" title 58:50 Growing Kinky Comedy into a real community event

Aimee Latta is a certified embodied intimacy and relationship coach and the host of the podcast Come Talk With Aimee, originally from Utah where the best sex education she got was a fifth grade presentation from a very enthusiastic husband and wife team… followed by years of abstinence-only education and a very graphic childbirth video meant to scare everyone into never having sex. In this episode we talk about growing up in Utah, abstinence-only sex education, Mormon purity culture, and what happens when the only messaging around sex is prevention instead of pleasure. We also get into Aimee's journey from working in public health policy to becoming an intimacy and relationship coach helping people reconnect with their bodies, their pleasure, and their partners. Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck _________________________________________________ Where to find Aimee: Instagram: @cometalkwithaimee TikTok: @cometalkwithaimee Podcast: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/podcast Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle Episode cheat sheet: 00:46 Starting a sex podcast and talking about sex publicly 03:22 Why talking about sex still feels taboo 05:18 How Aimee started the Come Talk With Aimee podcast 10:00 Being a public voice in sex education and intimacy coaching 18:54 From public health policy to becoming an intimacy coach 28:12 Growing up in Utah with abstinence-only sex education 34:57 BYU rules, Mormon purity culture, and sex before marriage 47:42 Mormon garments, religion, and sexuality 49:21 Becoming a sex and relationship coach 53:52 Painful sex in marriage and rediscovering pleasure 59:57 Why couples struggle to talk openly about sex

Join the watch party LIVE AT FIVE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BKSYUvCUo74?si=BiA5cpUkzvn53BrX Jimanekia Eborn is a trauma specialist, sexuality educator, survivor advocate, co-owner of Cintima, and founder of the nonprofit Tending the Garden, originally from Riverside, California where she actually DID received sex education multiple times growing up… but was any of it good? Absolutely not. In this episode we talk about grief, trauma work, modern dating struggles, sex education failures, intimacy coordination, professional wrestling (yes, I mean that), mental health, and why community and safe spaces are essential for connection and pleasure. Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Catch Jimanekia and I reading Reddit stories and join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon: STORY 1: AITA for cancelling mother's day celebration that I arranged for my wife after hearing what she told my son? STORY 2: AIO if I end my relationship because my bf kisses and tells me he loves me before leaving for work in the morning? Where to find Jimanekia: Instagram: @jimanekia Cintima Training: https://cintima.co Nonprofit: https://tendingthegarden.love Where to find Arielle: Insta: @ariellezadok // @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle Episode Cheat Sheet & Index: 00:09 Intro 02:30 Imposter syndrome and starting the podcast 05:00 Jimanekia's work in professional wrestling mental health 08:30 Losing her father and navigating grief 10:20 The power of laughter during difficult moments 12:10 Community, connection, and safe spaces during the pandemic 15:15 Dating apps and the loss of real connection 17:45 Nervous systems, safety, and intimacy 20:00 Protecting your peace and sexual boundaries 21:40 Working in sex education and consent culture 23:00 Growing up in Riverside, California 23:50 Early sex education experiences 25:30 Sneaking HBO and learning from Real Sex and Loveline 29:00 Why representation in sex education matters 31:20 Finding community in the sex industry 33:30 Boundaries and accountability in sexuality spaces 36:00 How Jimanekia got into intimacy coordination training 40:30 Building Cintima and training intimacy coordinators 44:00 Working across trauma care, media, and sexuality education 47:00 Play parties, consent culture, and power dynamics 49:30 Weird and wonderful jobs in the sexuality industry 51:00 Learning about sex through books and curiosity 54:00 Balancing multiple careers in sexuality work 58:30 Why asking for help matters

CLICK HERE to access the full episode. It's here! Our very first bonus episode of Birds & Bees Don't Read Reddit and I'm starting this adventure with none other than comedian Elisa Ellis who also happens to get the most unhinged versions of me in real life. This episode is WILD ya'll. Here are the stories, only available on Patreon: Story 1: I just found out that I'm a mistress...of 4 years. OMG. How do I tell her? 48M/36F Story 2: My 43f husbands 46m affair partner 19f is pregnant doesn't know the baby's father and I don't know where to begin with fixing this Story 3: AITA For suing my girlfriend after she had my 1967 impala project taken to the scrapyard? Honestly, this was one hell of a way to start. Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Follow Elisa: On Instagram & TikTok @ElisaMcBear Follow Me: On Instagram & TikTok @BirdsAndBeesDontFck and my personal Instagram @ArielleZadok Love my Crave Cuffs? Use my link and get $15 off anything storewide: lovecrave.com/arielle

Tia Lynn is a sex and intimacy coach, Tedx speaker and host of the Sexy Biz Babe podcast originally from Utah where as you can imagine, the Mormons (which she was not one of) taught her nothing about sexuality but a whole lot about judgement. Some things we said... "Pole dancing gives permission for others to explore their desires and sensuality." "Transitioning into sex coaching happened naturally based on client feedback and impact." "When you upgrade and when you progress past that, that makes them look at themselves in a way that they're not ready to." "Play parties provide a space where sex is permitted, but it's not required." "Consent is required at play parties, and there's accountability for violating someone's boundaries." ... plus so much more. Watch it on YouTube to get the full experience! Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Where to find Tia: Intsta: @sexybizbabe Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sexy-biz-babe/id1450558365?mt=2 Where to find Arielle: Insta: @birdsandbeesdontfck Website: https://www.birdsandbeesdontfck.com/ K, love you, byeeeee

Teresa Lo is an award winning writer and comedian originally from Coffeeville Kansas where nearly 40% of her high school class had a baby before graduation… which is another reason why accurate sex education is so important! Some things we said... "Comedy and the sex world is the only place that accepts freaks and lets us thrive." "If I really wanted it, I could have done it." "How bad do you want something? What are you willing to sacrifice?" "People, not all people, but many people are very dishonest about sexuality where they can't be open with what they really want." "Some people are afraid to even negotiate, to even say upfront, like these are what I want. This is what I'm cool with. This is what I don't like to do. This is what I like to do." "There are so many men out there that want to treat a woman, that want to be in that dynamic, that want to be daddy, that want to be a master." ... plus so much more. Watch it on YouTube to get the full experience! Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Where to find Teresa: Intsta: https://www.instagram.com/teresalowriter OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/tloclub Where to find Arielle: Insta: @ariellezadok // @birdsandbeesdontfck Freebies, classes, OnlyFans and more: https://stan.store/ArielleZadok Website: https://www.birdsandbeesdontfck.com/ K, love you, byeeeee

Andrew Orolfo is a stand up comedian, host of the meter gameshow and one of Just For Laughs New Faces of 2022 originally from Oakland, CA where they pretty much just watched a video from the 80s with dude stuff. Some things we said... "Sometimes you get close to death and then you come, you know what I mean?" "We're so often rushing with ourselves, especially men and people with penises." "Creating space for pleasure and exploration can enhance sexual experiences." "There's so much more. There's so much available to us if we're willing to explore it." "We need to normalize that conversation. Yeah. By the way, fucking everybody's got herpes and we just don't talk about it." "We have to make it safe for men to learn these things without shame, without guilt." ... plus so much more. Watch it on YouTube to get the full experience! Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Where to find Andrew: Intsta: @andrew_orolfo Website: https://www.andreworolfo.com/ OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/andrew_orolfo Where to find Arielle: Insta: @ariellezadok // @birdsandbeesdontfck Freebies, classes, OnlyFans and more: https://stan.store/ArielleZadok Website: https://www.birdsandbeesdontfck.com/

Nathan Hammerle is a sexual wellness educator and novelty specialist from central Ohio where the older kids faked them out and gave all the younger kids anxiety about the sex ed videos they had to watch about puberty. Some things we said... "Sex is messy and weird and we're gonna fuck up and just like, keep going." "Safety is the foundation of any successful kink scene." "How can we get more creative in bed?" "I loved doing...that's how I sort of transitioned from history teaching into sexual wellness." "There's room for everyone, but there's a responsibility...that everybody does their homework in this space." "Electro play is fun...it's not all about pain." ... plus so much more. Watch it on YouTube to get the full experience! Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Where to find Nathan: Intsta: @theshadesofnate Where to find Arielle: Insta: @ariellezadok & @birdsandbeesdontfck K, love you, byeeeee

Dr. Alix Agar is a Clinical Sexologist and one of LA's top Sex Therapists originally from Oakville Ontario where her mom was the cool mom to create safe spaces for her, and all her friends. A literal hero. In this episode we talk about: 02:06 Early Experiences as a Dancer 03:34 Bonding Experiences through Travel 04:04 Exploring Power Dynamics and Relationships Working On a Cruise Ship 05:55 Open Communication and Supportive Parenting 09:16 The Role of Parents in Sex Education 13:24 The Power of Self-Disclosure in Therapy 21:32 Disarming Clients and Normalizing Experiences 23:00 Spoiler… Therapists Hav Biases! 26:23 Harm Reduction!! 31:23 Lack of Sex Education in Therapy Programs 39:39 Defining Boundaries and Scope of Practice 41:33 You Gotta Like Your Therapist! 44:15 Sex and Politics - They're unfortunately intertwined! 45:37 Religion's Impact on Sexuality 47:59 The Cruelty of Sex Education 51:36 The Importance of Embracing Childhood Curiosity 59:40 Find Your Community and Get Support You can find Dr. Alix on Instagram at @dralixagar and her website https://dralixagar.com/ Like to watch? Check out the video version of this podcast on YouTube! Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Stay connected through Birds and Bees Don't Fck on Instagram at @birdsandbeesdontfck & follow your host @ArielleZadok K, love you, byeeeeee

Amanda G. Savage is a comedian, host and creator of the show G. Savage Talks originally from the great soft pretzel state of Pennsylvania where she did an anti-abstinence only presentation and we Stan. Also, happy 420 ya'll! This episode was unofficially sponsored by Bloom, their vapes are so tasty and smooth. If you're into it, I highly (!!) recommend this brand. In this episode we talk about: The great G Savage Yelling at men on stage Boobs! Imagine having a different pair every day?! Respecting pussy gets you EVERYWHERE Decision fatigue in dating Growing up wanting to pee standing up (relatable) Prioritizing pleasure Society's perception of sexual expression Refractory periods… what are they? You can find Amanda on Instagram at @amandagsavage on TikTok at @gsavagetalks and her website www.AmandaGSavage.com LA you can see Amanda live on April 25th at Holy Water in WeHo for the G Savage Talks premier! Get tickets here! Like to watch? Check out the video version of this podcast on YouTube! Get my Yes / No / Maybe List Stay connected through Birds and Bees Don't Fck on Instagram at @birdsandbeesdontfck & follow your host @ArielleZadok K, love you, byeeeeee

Dr. Nazanin Moali is a Clinical Psychologist, Sex Therapist and Host of the Sexology podcast originally from Iran where sex education was TRULY non-existent. In this episode we talk about: 00:00 The Importance of Different Perspectives 03:09 The Role of Communication in Relationships 07:15 The Impact of Nonverbal Communication 10:06 Changing Attitudes Towards Therapy and Mental Health 12:04 The Influence of Trauma on Sexual Health 15:47 Lack of Comprehensive Sex Education 26:41 Transitioning to Sex Therapy 28:20 Healing from Eating Disorders and Rediscovering Pleasure 31:17 The Importance of Pleasure 36:31 Cultivating Pleasure in Different Areas of Life 41:21 Creating Sensual Spaces 44:57 The Menu of Options 50:12 The Importance of Communication and Planning in Sex 55:44 Cultivating Desire and Erotic Mind You can find Dr. Nazanin on Instagram at @sexologypodcast, her website https://sexologypodcast.com/ and wherever you get your podcasts. Get my Yes / No / Maybe List And the erotic menu can be found at https://oasis2care.com/subscribe/ Like to watch? Check out the video version of this podcast on YouTube! Stay connected through Birds and Bees Don't Fck on Instagram at @birdsandbeesdontfck & follow your host @ArielleZadok