Daughters Who Dare

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent. Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.As a child raised by narcissists, it is far too easy to remember the difficult stuff. There are good times. There are happy memories. But…connecting that happiness to those who inflicted so much pain can be very confusing for the mind and heart!Why should I credit any of my narcissistic parents with my happiness? Gratitude feels wrong and uncomfortable. I mean…imagine praising your kidnapper. Wrong! I can’t deny the happiness, but it can make the hurt sting even more. It isn’t surprising to say that love looks strange when offered by a narcissistic parent. The love is conditional…so any happiness is tarnished with any or all of those conditions. There was happiness. I can’t erase that.But, was it genuine? Was I really happy?

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent. Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope. When I imagine myself as a Mama Bear, my mind is filled with animated, Disney-like characters, with a heart-warming soundtrack playing in the background. However, if you asked my grown children for their versions of me as a Mama Bear, you would be transported to those infamous nature documentaries…the ones that should come with an 18 rating due to the copious amount of blood and guts splattered all over the place. Don’t worry! I never resorted to intimidation by growling, sharpening my claws or attacking others until their blood was spilt. As a Mama Bear, I couldn’t help myself. I would do and still do ANYTHING to protect my cubs…especially from the dangerous and unpredictable narcissists in the family. How I protect them has changed over time, but something else hasn’t. Know that I will not apologise for being the Mama Bear that I am (Disney soundtrack optional).

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent. Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope. Narcissistic parents often choose to cross, ignore or erase one boundary…the EMOTIONAL boundary…and that is one too many. They do everything in their power to engage in emotional warfare. As the parent, they know their child’s weaknesses all too well, so will be sure to choose their words carefully…pushing as many buttons and pulling as many heartstrings as possible. My mind was the first boundary that was non-existent for my mom. But, she didn’t stop there. She didn’t acknowledge boundaries AT ALL, becoming what I call a ‘free range parent.’ In her sick and twisted brain, my mind AND body were her property. For me and me alone, nowhere was safe. Crossing emotional boundaries was/is bad enough. But, choosing to cross, ignore and erase all boundaries has left me with more scars than I can count.

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent. Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope. Can you believe it? We are celebrating 50 episodes of Daughters Who Dare! In this episode, I am sharing a short story I felt compelled to write. I listened to my heart and put the words down on paper. Have a listen. I hope it helps to demonstrate how it felt and continues to feel to be a daughter of narcissistic parents. The short story ends, but my story doesn’t end there. It happens again…and again…and again. Due to the endless ‘heart invasions’ I have experienced, I knew one thing for sure. If I was blessed to have children, I would choose to love them fiercely. I was blessed. I am blessed. I chose AND choose to love my children fiercely…NO MATTER WHAT!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent. Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope. For the purpose of this episode, I want you to imagine me stood on my soapbox. I am about to preach! I say these things to all of us…including me. Having reached the ripe old age of 60, I have come to many conclusions. Today, I present you with 10 of them. I encourage you to listen and - if you want - take notes. Once the episode is finished, I challenge you to do the same. You may not feel confident to go public. That’s okay. Instead, stand in front of your bathroom mirror and preach your truths. Create your own soapbox moment. Sometimes, we all need to hear our own voice.

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent. Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope. This will come as no surprise! No matter where we turn, there are countless injustices in the world. Whether we are walking down the high street in major cities, turning on the news or scrolling on our phone, we are bombarded with many examples of injustice. All of the scenarios I mentioned are injustices that are happening around us. They are external. We do have the luxury of closing our eyes, burying our head in the sand or living in a bubble if we want. But, what if the injustices take up space in our mind - our heart - and our body? What if we aren’t given the luxury of escape? What if the injustices aren’t things we have seen, read or heard, but have experienced for a lifetime? What if those injustices were committed by those who should be protecting us? What if we are the children of those who inflict those many injustices? We have no choice but to learn to live with it. Where is the justice in that? Well, I will tell you. My justice is my life. My justice is the woman I have become and continue to become. I win!

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent. Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope. When I think about my grandparents, I am amazed at their choices…their actions…their words…and their gift of being truth seers. What I love about those who dare, including my grandparents, is that there isn’t one script, one method or one set of rules. Those who DARE can look very different and sound very different. The way my grandparents DARED looked very different to mine. But, because they did, I had bucketloads of HOPE. As I have said before, “Where there is love, there is hope.”I may be a daughter who dares to speak my mind, who is prepared to confront my narcissistic parents, and who isn’t willing to sacrifice who I am and what I believe. That may not be how you choose to dare. That’s ok. You do you.