In Your Right Mind with Monique Rhodes

There's a version of you that got decided a long time ago — and it's been running the show ever since. This episode looks at the gap between what's actually true about you and the story you've been telling yourself, and why that gap is where everything either opens up or quietly closes down. If you've ever felt like you keep bumping into the same ceiling, this one is for you. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… 👉 Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

Most of us spend a huge amount of our lives trying to make people understand us. The long explanation. The third re-phrase. The 3am perfect sentence. The screenshot we send to a friend. The argument we have with our partner for the fifth time. We think we're looking for resolution. We're actually looking for something else. And in this episode, Monique names it — and offers a way to put it down that will quietly change your relationships and your nervous system at the same time. In this episode: — The hidden hunger underneath the constant need to be understood — Why even when people finally agree, the relief only lasts an hour — Why some people in your life are simply not built to see what you see — and why that doesn't mean the relationship is broken — A small, surprisingly powerful practice for witnessing yourself before you go hunting for one outside The 10 Minute Mind® Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… 👉 Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

If you've been writing a gratitude list every morning and nothing in your life feels any different, this episode is for you. Most gratitude practice is performance dressed up as practice. A list of words that never made it into the body. And it's why people can do it for years and feel exactly the same. There is one word missing. One. Once you put it in, the whole practice changes — and it becomes the foundation of a happiness baseline that actually holds. In this episode: — Why a gratitude list on its own doesn't move anything — The one word that turns gratitude from performance into practice — How to drop out of the head and into the felt experience — What spiritual bypass actually looks like — A one-thing-a-day practice you can start today The 10 Minute Mind® Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… 👉 Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

If you have been on a healing journey for years and you are still not okay, I do not think you need more healing. I think the healing is the problem. This episode is for anyone who has read the books, done the courses, sat with the therapists, and still wakes up wondering what is wrong with them. I unpack why the project of fixing yourself is part of what keeps you stuck, the sentence that finally broke me out of it, and one small experiment to try this week. You are not a project. You are a person. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… 👉 Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

This is a different kind of episode. No list. No three takeaways. Just one conversation about something I think we don't talk about enough — the particular pain of wanting today to be different than it is. The mood you woke up in. The argument that's still sitting in your chest. The day that already feels heavy when nothing has even really happened yet. We're going to sit with this together, gently, and I'm going to offer something I learned the hard way. Take your time with this one. It's not a quick listen. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

You've been told to set boundaries. You've tried setting boundaries. And somehow you're still exhausted, still over-explaining, still feeling like you have to defend the smallest "no." So today I want to push back on the most-recommended advice in the wellness world and tell you what I actually think happens when you keep being told that the answer to other people's behaviour is just to draw a clearer line. There's a deeper conversation underneath this one, and we're going to have it. By the end of this episode I want you to walk away with a different way of thinking about the energy you keep handing over without realising. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

Monique has spent fifteen years around genuinely calm people — and she means the real ones, not the ones who post about it. They all do nine very specific things that the rest of us don't. This episode walks through all nine. Not personality traits. Not temperament. Habits. Which means they're learnable. Number six is the one almost no one believes is actually a calmness skill. Number eight is the one Monique personally got most wrong, for the longest time. You'll hear what calm people do with small decisions, why they refuse to run a tight schedule, why they don't argue back at their own thoughts, and the very specific thing they do with other people's moods that the rest of us get backwards. If you have spent the last year feeling slightly behind, slightly buzzing, slightly never-quite-arrived — this episode is for you. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

There is a kind of tired that cannot be explained by anything you did. Not the tired you feel after hard work or a bad night's sleep — those make sense. You can trace them. You can point to a reason. This episode is about the other tired. The tired that arrives in the late afternoon when you have barely done anything. The tired that finds you sitting on the edge of the bed at nine in the morning, already wrung out. The tired you cannot explain to anybody else and have started to wonder if something is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. The tiredness has a name. And once you know the name, you can start to put some of it down. Monique tells the story of a woman who sits in her driveway for ten minutes every evening before walking into her own house — not because anything is wrong at home, but because she needs ten minutes before becoming the person her family needs her to be. And a moment in an Auckland workshop where she asked forty women when the last time was they had been alone with their own thoughts, and the room went silent. This is an episode about emotional labour — the invisible, unpaid, constant work of regulating everybody else's feelings. And one small, specific practice to begin getting fifteen minutes of your own life back each day. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

Most perfectionists have been praised their whole lives for being perfectionists. That's the thing that makes it so hard to see. In this episode, Monique unpacks what perfectionism actually is, underneath the praise: a survival contract your younger self made with the world that said, if I get this right, I will be safe. She tells the story of a woman called Nina — a successful lawyer whose family and team had stopped bringing her their rough drafts because they'd learned she had a very accurate ruler. And the story of a brilliant writer friend with a folder of forty-three finished, unsent pieces on her laptop. This is an episode for the high achievers who have quietly been paying the price of their own perfection for years. Who can't tell the difference between high standards and fear anymore. Who finish things and feel relieved instead of proud. You will leave this episode with one small, specific experiment to try this week. Not a breakthrough. Not a life overhaul. Just eighty per cent, one thing at a time. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

You are caring for your kids, your parents, your work, and your own grief — and somewhere in that pile, you forgot you were a person too. This episode is for the women in their forties, fifties, and sixties who are holding more than anyone is acknowledging. The ones who know their mother's medication schedule the way they know their own phone number. The ones who track who needs which form, which appointment, which gentle phone call. The ones who park outside the supermarket for five quiet minutes because they cannot face one more aisle yet. Monique tells the story of her friend Maeve — fifty-two, two teenagers, a mother with dementia — who phoned her from a carpark after a specialist appointment and realised she couldn't remember the last time anyone had asked her how she was doing. She tells the story of a woman at a workshop who hadn't seen her own GP in three years because it had started to feel selfish. This is the long, quiet grief of caring for someone you love while they slowly become less of who they were. Of doing something extraordinary in almost complete silence. Of being asked to be infrastructure when you are, in fact, a person. If you've been holding everything together — please listen. You are not failing. You are doing something almost no one acknowledges. And this episode is one quiet acknowledgment. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

If you are the person everyone calls when they're falling apart — who do you call? This episode is for the strong ones. You know who you are. You're the eldest daughter, the friend everyone leans on, the person who keeps the family together, the one who organised the funeral. And you've been wearing that role so long you might not even realise it's a costume. In this conversation, I want to talk about the hidden cost of being the strong one. The way it gets handed to you so early you don't remember putting it on. The slow, quiet loneliness of always being the giver and never quite knowing how to receive. And the strange panic that can rise up when someone genuinely asks how you are — because you've been so fluent in everyone else's pain you've lost the language for your own. I share a story about my friend who organised her father's funeral and then spent months crying in supermarket car parks. I share my own honest experience of trying to put the costume down. And I offer one small, slightly terrifying invitation: tell one safe person you're not okay. Just one. One crack in the door is enough. You are allowed to fall apart. You are allowed to need things. You are allowed to be held. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

If you wake up and immediately start running through a 12-step morning routine — cold plunge, journal, gratitude list, supplements, workout — and somehow still feel anxious before you've even made coffee, this episode is for you. I'm a meditation teacher and I'll tell you something honestly: there are still mornings I wake up anxious before my feet hit the floor. After decades of practice. So if that's you too — if you've worked at a morning routine and you're still waking up tense — please hear that you're not failing. Something else is going on. In this episode, I unpack why so many of us are quietly performing wellness instead of actually feeling well. The 5 AM club. The perfect morning routine. The optimisation stack. None of it is making us calmer. In a lot of cases it's making us more anxious, more self-critical, and more disconnected from what our bodies actually need. I'll share my own honest morning — the dog, the kettle, the small thing I've settled into after years of trying everything. The one question I ask myself before the day starts running me. And what a real, embodied morning practice can look like (it's much smaller than you've been told). If you've been feeling exhausted by your own self-improvement, take this as your permission to do less. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next… Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.