Not Allowed to Die
As a therapist I have only one rule: you are not allowed to die. On this podcast I will answer questions about therapy, mental health, coaching, or anything else folks want to pick my brain about. I bring 20 years and ov...
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Est. listeners per new episode within ~30 days
490 to 4.4K🎙 Biweekly cadence·217 episodes·Last published 2w ago - Monthly Reach
Unique listeners across all episodes (30 days)
700 to 6.3K🇺🇸100% - Active Followers
Loyal subscribers who consistently listen
280 to 2.5K
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| Date | Episode | Description | Length | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10/9/26 | Mr. Jay on betrayal trauma | Mr. Jay comes on to teach us about betrayal trauma and how healing from it is different from other types of trauma. He speaks directly to his approach and techniques for helping individuals and couples as they navigate their healing process. Check out his website if you are interested in learning more: Mr Jay Relationship Coach – Relationship Coach, Personal Development CoachP.S. Mariska did not participate because she was at home and I was on the road. | 57m 52s | ||||||
| 9/29/26 | Is it ok to have a crush on your therapist? | In this episode Mariska and I talk about my horrible voice from having a cold, as well as the state of her super gross tumor, and when and how you decide if it is time to put a dog down. We also talk about the challenges of having a crush on your therapist and how to deal with it. | 19m 55s | ||||||
| 9/22/26 | Is any client beyond hope? | In this episode Mariska and I talk about the challenges of helping people who are struggling with chronic depression and other mental health challenges. Does there ever come a time when they should be "allowed" to die? When do we give up on them? We explore how I handle resistant clients and tips on calling 988 when in doubt. | 20m 11s | ||||||
| 9/13/26 | The Truth in the Tarot | In this episode we explore how to draw useful insight out of tarot readings, dreams etc... | 18m 38s | ||||||
| 8/25/26 | Relationship OCD or just overthinking? | In this episode we discuss the state of Mariska's health, how to prepare for the eventual death of a loved companion animal, and Relationship OCD and how that is different from typical overthinking in relationships. | 20m 48s | ||||||
| 7/28/26 | Amanda Hill on building and leading a private practice | The inspiring Amanda Hill joins Mariska and me to discuss so many things, but what I most enjoyed picking her brain about is the challenge of creating a private practice and expanding it beyond a few clinicians. I learned a lot and I hope you will too. | 45m 43s | ||||||
| 7/16/26 | When your partner has a crush on a fictional character | What do you do if your partner has a crush on a fictional character and it is getting in the way of your relationship? | 18m 51s | ||||||
| 7/7/26 | Mandi Leigh on healing through song writing and performing | Canadian singer/songwriter Mandi Leigh joins Mariska and I and talks about how song writing and singing has helped her heal from suicide loss and other trauma, and she even sings a song for us! Check out her music and tour dates on her website: Mandi Leigh | Singer Songwriter | 36m 37s | ||||||
| 6/30/26 | When to push back and when to wait. | In this episode Mariska and I discuss cases of three of my clients who might need to push back to keep from being pushed around by bosses, creative partners, and relationship partners. How do we decide when and how to push back and when to say nothing. | 17m 13s | ||||||
| 6/23/26 | Dr. Juls on burnout and sex in midlife | Mariska and I were truly honored to have the incredible Dr. Julie Merriman, therapist, professor, author, and host of the podcasts Sexy after 50 and Compassion Fatigue Cure. You can find all of her work here: Julie Merriman, Ph.D., LPC-S | Nervous System Regulation ExpertOur conversation covered so many things and was a great learning experience for Mariska and me. Enjoy. | 1h 08m 23s | ||||||
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| 6/17/26 | How does a therapist find a therapist? | in this episode Mariska and I talk about ESAs and how to help people find a therapist and the tools I use when im trying to find someone to recommend. | 17m 42s | ||||||
| 6/9/26 | Talking about sex in therapy | In this episode Mariska and I beg for your suggestions about our new project, the ESA cast (which you should email to [email protected]) and we talk about what a therapist is thinking about when we talk about sex with our clients in therapy. | 16m 15s | ||||||
| 6/2/26 | Ghost or break up with your therapist? | In this episode Mariska and I announce the launch of our new venture, the ESA cast AND we talk about whether or not you should just stop scheduling sessions with your therapist or actually have the "break up" conversation with them. | 20m 26s | ||||||
| 4/28/26 | Should I let my client live with me? | In this episode Mariska and I explore beating yourself up after mistakes and appropriate boundaries. My former student deals with the ethical challenges of taking one of her students in after he is removed from his family. | 17m 57s | ||||||
| 3/25/26 | Nobody deserves this. | In this episode Mariska and I explore how people blame themselves for their mental anguish and build a world where the "deserve" their pain. There is A LOT of discussion of suicide in this episode so if that is not something healthy for you to listen to you may want to skip this one. Also in this episode Mariska is petty toward Tina and Cher, the family cats. | 18m 43s | ||||||
| 3/17/26 | If you don't look down you can't fall, can you? | In this episode Mariska and I explore the seductive practice of refusing to face your reality and taking the Wiley Coyote strategy of running off the cliff and refusing to look down to avoid the fall. How do we help people in our lives who are doing that? Tune in to find out. | 16m 15s | ||||||
| 3/10/26 | Should therapists give medication advice? | In this episode Mariska and I discuss some things to consider as clients talk about their medications and how a therapist can stay in their scope of practice while talking about meds. | 17m 27s | ||||||
| 2/24/26 | If you cheat, should you tell your partner? | In this episode Mariska and I explore the thorny dilemma of how you decide whether or not to disclose infidelity, or other behaviors you are not proud of, to your partner. Mariska wants everyone to know that the cats, Tina and Cher, have not been invited into the podcast studio and had no part in the making of this episode. | 20m 29s | ||||||
| 2/10/26 | Dangers of couples therapy with individual therapy clients. | In this episode Mariska and I discuss the challenges of doing couples therapy with clients that you typically see as individuals. Also we reveal the names of the new cats that have moved into our house and how Mariska feels about their arrival. | 18m 20s | ||||||
| 1/27/26 | How you inspire your therapist | In this episode Mariska and I talk about the impact you make when you share your story with your therapist and how that action can help so many people you will never know. | 17m 29s | ||||||
| 1/20/26 | When you snoop on your partner's phone... | In this episode Mariska and I explore the risks of snooping on your partner's phone and what to be prepared for when you find something you don't like. We also talk about the incredible benefit of bringing a list of topics to talk about with your therapist. | 17m 39s | ||||||
| 12/23/25 | Should a therapist share their distractions? | In this episode Mariska and I talk about how a therapist handles it when they have physical symptoms that are keeping them from fully focusing during a session. We also talk about clients who may not want to get better and why. Finally we close with saying goodbye to 2025 and our positive hopes for 2026. | 18m 42s | ||||||
| 12/9/25 | Make time to mourn the little things | In this episode we explore how to give the right amount of F&*$s when little things go wrong in life. We discuss toxic positivity and what can go wrong if you do not acknowledge your feelings. Mariska and I also remind you that it doesn't need to be Giving Tuesday to support Paws for Patrick and any other charity of your choice. | 20m 09s | ||||||
| 11/19/25 | When your suicidal client wants a gun.... | In this episode Mariska and I talk about how to assess the risk when a client who has long term suicidal ideation is talking about acquiring a gun to potentially end their life. If discussions of suicide are triggering for you it would be best to skip this episode. | 20m 03s | ||||||
| 11/12/25 | Should we stay in the moment if the moment sucks? | In this episode Mariska and I discuss the idea of staying in the moment, but should we do that if this is not a good moment for us? | 19m 03s | ||||||
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