The Dad Manual

What if the most qualified stepdad in the room is the one who almost didn't make it out alive?Andrew Adams didn't plan on becoming a parent. He didn't plan 12 years of opiate addiction, multiple overdoses, or a near-fatal car accident on a highway at 75 miles per hour. But today, Andrew is stepfather to three kids, engaged to the man he loves, and one of the most grounded human beings I've had the privilege of sitting across from.Key Takeaways:Why the sudden loss of structure at age 11 became the catalyst for Andrew's years-long addiction spiralHow a neurodivergent brain chasing relief through drugs becomes a 12-year trap.Why "neutrality" is not indifference and how it became Andrew's superpower as a stepdadThe danger of entering parenthood to "fix" something in yourself and the resentment it breedsHow eight-plus years of deep personal work across 12-step programs, yoga, and spiritual practice transformed Andrew into the partner and father figure he is todayWhy Andrew never tries to discipline Dylan's kids and what he does insteadThe two-lane framework Andrew uses with children (and coaching clients alike): vision or fear, pick a directionHow to let your relationship with stepchildren build organically without pressureWhy kids who feel like a burden are usually carrying energy their parents chose to put on themThe single best piece of advice for anyone stepping into a stepparent role: take it slow, and let them come to youThis is a fatherhood podcast episode about what it actually takes to show for yourself first, and then for the family that finds its way to your door.If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/00:00 Andrew on knowing — or not — you want kids01:28 Tony introduces Andrew's full story02:37 Childhood, a pastor dad, and sudden freedom at 1105:02 Why drugs worked: silencing a neurodivergent brain06:02 The escalation to opiates and heroin08:54 Twelve years on and off — what that loop looked like11:34 The car accident that finally broke through13:15 What it takes to get a real wake-up call15:14 Eight years of rebuilding across every modality17:10 Forging peace through lived experience18:44 Peace is a choice — and a remembrance20:36 Consciousness, ego, and leading with love22:01 Meeting Dylan — and the three kids in the package23:28 Why "neutral" scared Dylan at first25:45 Loving people through what they believe is an obstacle28:30 Entering stepparenting with no force, only presence30:40 Two choices, always — how Andrew guides children31:26 Getting to be the fun one (and what that's built on)33:24 The cool uncle role: someone to talk to who isn't mom or dad35:51 Kids add to a full life — they don't complete it38:06 When parents hold a belief that kids are taking something from them40:01 Advice for anyone stepping into stepparenting42:12 Tony closes the conversation

Parenting doesn't follow a script, and sometimes life throws you every curveball imaginable.Danny Cooper shares his raw, honest journey of raising his child Sari while navigating his wife Emily's decade-long battle with breast cancer that began when Sari was just three months old. From aggressive chemotherapy and stem cell transplants to ultimately losing Emily when Sari was 10, Danny had to step into both parental roles while dealing with his own grief. Years later, Sari came out as transgender, transitioning from female to male at age 26. Danny opens up about the emotional complexity of celebrating his child's happiness while grieving the daughter he thought he had, and what it means to reprogram yourself as a father when your child's identity shifts. This conversation explores resilience, unconditional love, and showing up for your kids no matter what life brings.Key Takeaways:How to be present for your child during a partner's terminal illnessBalancing work demands with being there for critical family momentsTeaching kids self-reliance while providing unwavering supportProcessing grief as a parent while keeping your child stableSupporting a child through gender transition as an adultThe psychological process of accepting your child's new identityCreating safety and unconditional love in single parentingInstilling values like empathy, work ethic, and kindness through adversityWhy being hands-on from birth matters for long-term connectionChoosing your child over work when it truly mattersIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/ (00:00) - - Introduction (01:35) - - Meeting Sari and early parenthood (03:45) - - Emily's breast cancer diagnosis (07:20) - - Aggressive treatments and survival (11:45) - - Being a dad during medical crisis (15:30) - - Emily's passing when Sari was 10 (19:15) - - Single fatherhood and stepping up (23:40) - - Sari's gender transition at 26 (27:50) - - Grieving the daughter you thought you had (32:10) - - Becoming a boy dad unexpectedly (36:25) - - Values and principles for raising kids (40:15) - - Hopes and dreams for Sari's future (43:50) - - Advice for brand new fathers

When one positive pregnancy test changes everything, transformation becomes inevitable.Diego Kuri's life shifted the moment he discovered he was becoming a father. From addressing his relationship with alcohol to breaking cycles of rage and anxiety, Diego shares how fatherhood pushed him toward becoming his best self. Now co-parenting two strong-willed boys in Miami, he's navigating the balance between nature and nurture, breaking generational patterns, and creating a legacy of presence and unconditional love. This conversation explores the inner work required to show up authentically for your children.Key Takeaways:Discovering fatherhood can trigger immediate personal transformationLeading by example is the most powerful parenting toolBreaking generational trauma is the greatest legacy we can leaveCo-parenting requires flexibility, communication, and shared valuesStrong personalities in children reflect opportunities for self-awarenessInner work before crisis prevents future disconnection with kidsNature shapes who children are, but values guide how they navigate lifePresence and unconditional love matter more than perfectionSmall moments of joy often become the most treasured memoriesStarting therapy or self-work early creates healthier parent-child relationshipsIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Tony Elliott shares his journey raising two daughters through the lens of game styles, Love & Logic principles, and real-world trial and error. From tea parties to state championships, discover how understanding biological styles under pressure transforms parenting. Tony opens up about being harder on daughters versus sons, navigating different game styles between siblings, and why supporting the mother is the single most important job for any new dad. Whether you're a new dad podcast listener or raising teenagers, this conversation offers wisdom earned through decades of fatherhood.Key Takeaways:How Love & Logic consequences with empathy shaped parenting decisionsUnderstanding your child's biological game style reduces conflictGirl dads experience unexpected fulfillment in father-daughter relationshipsSupporting the mother is the primary job for new fathersYou don't need all the answers right now—solve one problem at a timeBeing present at every event matters more than you realizeDifferent game styles require different parenting approachesSleep deprivation is the first problem to solve togetherYour job transitions from provider to supporter as kids growThe joy in their accomplishments surpasses any personal achievementIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/