The Nut Farm Podcast

This week on The Nut Farm, we’re showing up slightly swollen, mildly caffeinated, and ready to discuss absolutely nothing in the order it should be discussed. We kick things off with Sculptra, missing eyebrows, IVs, and the realities of trying to keep your face together as you get older. From there, the farm takes its usual scenic route through Scottsdale Fashion Week, turquoise superstition, wedding photos and videos we may or may not ever watch, Leonardo DiCaprio and Titanic, our inability to emotionally handle sad movies, and the internet rabbit holes we probably should’ve stayed out of. Then somehow we land on suburban wives, teachers turned adult-content creators, getting kicked out of gyms, banks saying “absolutely not,” jealousy, relationships, tan lines, and the very important realization that sometimes you just have to show up and do the damn thing. It’s beauty treatments, questionable decisions, pop culture, relationships, and two best friends wandering wildly off topic. Basically… another normal day on The Nut Farm.

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy invented the Swiffer in fourth grade and never saw a dime. She also nearly bought every Sanrio FAO Schwarz blind box at the one Target in all of greater Phoenix that carries them, got the 1-in-25 silver chrome cinnamon roll with confetti, and bought the gold Pompompurin on eBay for $55 because she is not leaving it to chance. The farmers also get into: • K-pop: Missy is getting into it, Payton dances to Hats Eye, the community is very Pokémon-adjacent • The man on IG who didn’t understand how paternity works and whose wife had to walk him through it • Ace Ventura Pet Detective as the official fall aesthetic — and the vintage 28 shirt Gretchen needs to recreate • Gretchen and Willa at the Mercury WNBA 30th anniversary game: Cheryl Miller, the hair, the arena smell, and the trampoline dunk team that causes anxiety • The Haus of GS TV media blitz: Fox 10 Monday, Move the Needle pod Tuesday at Craft 64, CW7 two-banger Wednesday • Sobriety math: $20 a day, $6,700 a year, $67,000 over ten years, and not drinking to get drunk anymore • The cordless curling iron that doesn’t exist yet: The Thruster 3000 • A bondage rope-tying event invitation that was declined with love and zero judgment & trusting the thrust • Gucci platform loafers on Posh, Balenciaga thigh-highs going to consignment, and a Sean Kemp rookie card • Sawyer’s pearl of wisdom: Be safe & listen to your parents. He also confirms peanut M&Ms are healthy. Get in on the ground floor. New episode out now.

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy is running on no sleep and zero regrets. She and her mom stood outside a Sam’s Club in deep Phoenix at 6am, in a sewage smell, for hours, in hopes of scoring the Pokémon Ascended Heroes exclusive drop. They did not score. Her dad did. At Ace Hardware. While fixing a sprinkler. The farmers also get into: • Ken the painter: 70-something, 13 kids, youngest is two, showed up with a squad of mostly women and had Sawyer doing stucco work in a Sherwin Williams hat • The smart glass pivot door that fogs on command • Dino the door guy who gave them a perfume sample from his eight-year-old daughter’s company • Timothée Chalamet sliding into Haaland’s DMs and getting left on read because Haaland thought he was just some random dude • Gretchen DM’ing Kris Jenner about her breakup and her mom’s passing • Adam kicking Missy out of bed in his sleep playing FIFA and accidentally saving the morning • The sister who is the only person on earth who can make Gretchen completely lose it • Payton crashing the pod to report that Eli is mean. Eli’s rebuttal: Payton, you know. • Dreams, time not being linear, the Black Plague, and what happens when you lean into the fall • Missy hitting a second major of the month at the casino on a $2 bet: the Full Steve Ace Hardware Pokémon. New episode out now.