The Shallow End

In this episode of The Shallow End, Schnebly and Toth explore two stories that raise an uncomfortable question: Is modern civilization running on competence... or just paperwork and confidence? First, the guys dive into the bizarre case of a former airline captain who allegedly flew commercial passenger jets for nearly 17 years without holding the specific pilot certification required for the job. After more than 900 flights and countless evaluations, authorities finally uncovered a credential discrepancy that somehow slipped through the cracks for nearly two decades. The result is a surprisingly hilarious and slightly terrifying discussion about bureaucracy, imposter syndrome, clipboards, safety vests, and how much of society appears to function because everyone assumes somebody else checked the paperwork. Then it's off to Florida, where a man on his way to court for a burglary case allegedly decided the best place to find appropriate courtroom attire was inside someone else's RV. What followed was a spectacular chain of bad decisions involving leggings, attempted burglary, police body cameras, and a level of commitment to poor judgment that deserves its own chapter in the Florida Man Hall of Fame. Along the way, the boys discuss unusual names, Japanese greetings, Arizona restaurant nostalgia, family technology support disasters, and the strange reality that some people seem to accidentally become experts simply because they once connected a printer. Topics Include: Air Canada pilot controversy, aviation news, bureaucracy gone wrong, imposter syndrome, Florida Man stories, burglary fails, courtroom mishaps, weird news, human behavior, funny crime stories, absurd true events, and the everyday chaos holding civilization together. Because sometimes the weirdest thing isn't crime, disaster, or catastrophe—it's realizing the whole system might be held together by a spreadsheet and a guy who forgot his password. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Shallow End, Jethro and Lindsay dive headfirst into two true crime stories that feel less like reality and more like a stress dream fueled by bad decisions and poor time management. First up: a record-setting criminal spree that unfolded during a single nine-hour Greyhound bus layover in Nashville. One man somehow managed to cram 11 felonies into less time than most people spend binge-watching a season of television—including arson, armed robbery, carjacking, Walmart shopping on stolen credit cards, a hotel robbery carried out in a disguise, and a final attempt to evade police by hiding inside industrial equipment. It’s a bizarre, fast-moving case that raises an important question: how much trouble can one person get into before missing their bus? Then, the show turns to a workplace dispute that escalated far beyond anything HR could possibly handle. At a Popeyes restaurant in North Carolina, an argument between managers over burned biscuits ended in gunfire. What began as a kitchen disagreement spilled outside, resulting in a shooting, attempted murder charges, and a reminder that sometimes the smallest conflicts carry the most catastrophic consequences. Along the way, Jethro and Lindsay riff on free will, crime efficiency, poor impulse control, and why absolutely no one should be committing felonies by the hour. As always, the stories are real, the reactions are unfiltered, and the humor is just dark enough to make you question whether you should be laughing—right before you do. If you enjoy true crime stories where everything spirals wildly out of control, criminal logic collapses under its own weight, and bad decisions stack up at alarming speed, this episode of The Shallow End delivers. No felonies. No burned biscuits. Make good choices. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Shallow End, the universe appears to clock in early and enforce consequences with zero paperwork. Schnebly and Toth break down a surreal Milwaukee incident in which a man attempting to set a Cadillac Escalade on fire instead ignites his own pants—an act of instant karma caught entirely on surveillance video. What begins as felony-grade arson collapses into slapstick physics as flaming trousers, panicked decision-making, and a perfectly timed police cruiser converge in what may be the most efficient arrest on record. From there, the episode widens into a greatest-hits reel of bad ideas and questionable judgment. A listener email recounts a sober college sledding adventure that ends with injuries, hospital visits, and the realization that alcohol isn’t always required to make terrible choices. The hosts share their own youthful snow-related miscalculations, proving once again that age and common sense rarely arrive together. The episode also dives into a Texas burglary attempt that goes sideways when a man breaks into a car dealership, injures himself on the glass, calls 911 for help, and—while waiting for first responders—helps himself to candy from a sales desk. Because of course he does. Equal parts dumb criminal behavior, misfired confidence, and real-world absurdity, this episode is a reminder that when plans collapse, they often do so loudly, publicly, and on camera. Make good choices. Don’t play with fire. And for the love of God, don’t try to outrun your own pants. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Shallow End, human decision-making briefly leaves the building—and gravity takes over. First, we head to downtown Vancouver, Washington, where a routine disturbance at a restaurant escalates into a full-blown aerial performance. Instead of running from police like a normal person, one man chooses a bold new escape strategy: climbing onto a rooftop communications cable, dangling 20 feet above the street, taunting first responders, and—because why not—removing his shirt mid-sway. For 45 minutes, cops, firefighters, and stunned onlookers watch what can only be described as a bootleg Cirque du Soleil audition, before physics ends the show in the most slapstick way possible. Then, we travel back to Everett, Washington, for a classic case of criminal ingenuity meeting basic chemistry. Two would-be thieves attempt to break into an ATM using an acetylene blowtorch—successfully cutting their way in, accidentally setting the cash on fire, and then attempting to extinguish the flames using the only tool they apparently planned for: their own urine. Surveillance footage confirms every bad decision. Along the way, we discuss panic logic, commitment to terrible ideas, firefighters who literally “caught” a suspect, and the many ways stress can unlock brand-new genres of stupidity. Plus, a listener email sparks a discussion about naming the show’s mysterious lifeguard voice. It’s a reminder that when humans are under pressure, they don’t rise to the occasion—they dangle from cables, pee on burning money, and give first responders stories they’ll be telling forever. Pour a strong beverage, make better choices than these guys did, and dive into another episode of The Shallow End. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Shallow End, we ease into the morning with half-finished coffee, mild grogginess, and a deep philosophical discussion about a very specific human flaw: the irresistible urge to acquire objects we absolutely do not need—and will almost certainly never use. From abandoned French press coffee makers to unopened hologram fans quietly aging in closets, the boys unpack the strange comfort of possession without follow-through, the sacred importance of keeping boxes “just in case,” and the moment you realize you’ve officially become your parents. Things take a darker turn with a true crime story from Italy involving pension fraud, family deception, and a high-profile attempt at impersonation that has been dubbed the real-life “Mrs. Doubtfire scheme.” It’s a story that somehow manages to be disturbing, absurd, and baffling all at once—and proves that bureaucracy will eventually notice… even if it takes a while. Then, a listener email delivers a classic Shallow End cautionary tale involving college logic, expired Mello Yello, gravity, and a car hood that never knew what hit it. It’s a story about impulse, regret, and the long shadow cast by a single bad decision made at the top of a staircase. Finally, the episode closes with a quintessential Florida Dumb Criminal Story: a man who tried to delay his flight by calling in a bomb threat—using his own phone, his real voice, and airport Wi-Fi. What follows is a quietly perfect example of impatience, overconfidence, and how modern surveillance does not reward shortcuts. It’s an episode about bad choices, unintended consequences, and the universal belief that maybe—just maybe—we can outsmart the system this one time. Spoiler: we can’t. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices