The Unlock Lab

Today I’m talking to you about something that’s hard to learn until you go through it: starting new jobs in new industries, new companies, and even new roles. In this episode, I share the counsel I’ve gained from my own career transitions, including the time I entered a new company where the product was entirely in Spanish.The most critical step to take before you begin a new role is to clear out the baggage and negative energy strings you’re bringing from your past. Because if you don’t you may be bringing the same behavior patterns to your next role that will not just impact your success, but perhaps more so your ability to find contentment.Once you’re in that role, one of the most helpful things you can do from day one is observe how decisions are made, and identify who holds the power and influence in your new organization. This also requires patience because it takes time to understand how things work, which means it’s also important to ask questions when you are unsure or confused. If you hold back from this in an effort to look like you have it all together, it’ll just take you that much longer to come up to speed. When you stop trying to prove you know everything and start being authentic about what you don’t know, you actually gain respect. That whole old way of leading where you had to have all the answers was always nonsense, and being honest about what you don’t know (aka vulnerability) is what truly builds trust.Tune in to learn why getting proper support during a transition and making space for integration are the keys to entering your next chapter successfully.Episode Highlights: Why bringing past resentments and proving energy into a new role will ruin your start. How observing decision-making processes and power structures helps you avoid early landmines. The reason why admitting you don’t have all the answers builds trust, and why the old standard of leadership was never legit. Why standing in your value and refusing to put yourself above or below anyone else is critical for your success. How to set boundaries for self-care and integration, while absorbing massive amounts of new information.Quotables: "If you got laid off, you got laid off, honey. This is the world we operate in now." "The minute you put yourself above or below someone else is the minute that you're either giving your power away or you're silencing those that work for you or alongside you." "Make sure you’re making time and space for reflection, for integration, for learning, because that's going to go so far in terms of how you are processing and making intentional choices about how you're showing up."Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.comEditing by: Starlin Media

We often think of public speaking as a technical skill, but it is actually a profound test of our human skills.I recently gave a presentation on inner critics. The challenge wasn't the speaking itself, as I have done that for years, but the format. I had to condense a 45-minute keynote into a hard-hitting 10-minute talk. This shift in routine woke up my own inner critics.The struggle is not just about remembering your talking points; it is about the emotional beatdown we give ourselves before, during, and after we speak. When we do not have a process to handle this, we rob ourselves of the ability to actually enjoy the impact we make.Tune in to learn how to shift your focus from "performance perfection" to genuine connection. This ensures you show up fully for your audience without abandoning yourself in the process, no matter if you are speaking for 45 minutes or giving a 5-minute update.I share my personal protocol for preparation and celebration that ensures you walk away feeling proud, regardless of the outcome.Episode Highlights:The Preparation Paradox: Why memorizing your script is not about being robotic; it is about creating safety for your nervous system so you can be present.The Two Ways to Show Up: We always focus on showing up for the audience, but I explain why showing up for yourself with grace is the missing link.Celebrating the Service: How to silence the post-game analysis and simply say "I was of service" to build confidence for next time.Quotables:"I teach inner critic work because I have to do so much work on myself with my own inner critics and keeping them at bay.""Not because you might be looking at being a speaker in your career, but more so because regardless of your professional field, you probably have to get in front of folks from time to time.""How are you showing up for your audience and how are you showing up yourself?"Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

"I don’t believe we can heal things we don’t understand"-Stacey UhrigWe often think of trauma as the big, explosive events: war, violence, or catastrophe. But what about the paper cuts?.What about the relentless pressure of "not enoughness" that accumulates over decades?.In this episode, I sit down with Stacey Uhrig, a Trauma Recovery Coach who helps people flip their mindset. We aren't just talking about "soft skills" here; we are talking about the essential Human Skills required to lead yourself and others when the ground falls out from under you. Stacey shares her deeply personal story of the 2012 financial collapse that decimated her family business and left her facing a "Defcon 10" level of stress. She lost her savings, her security, and her peace of mind. But in that darkness, she found a whisper. She found a micro-practice of gratitude that pulled her back from the edge, one hour at a time.Tune in to learn how you might be bypassing your own needs and operating from a dysregulated nervous system , so that you can finally release the invisible brakes holding you back and lead with genuine clarity and peace.This conversation is for the high-achiever who feels like they are pushing a boulder up a hill every single day. If you are successful on paper but exhausted in spirit, this is your permission slip to stop, get curious, and listen to what your body has been screaming at you. 🦉Episode Highlights:Defining the Wound: Why trauma isn't just what happened to you; it’s also what didn't happen (like emotional neglect) and how you adapted to survive it.The "Hurt" Assessment: Stacey explains her tool for identifying the healing unresolved roots of trauma (HURRT) and why standard ACE scores miss the mark for many high-performers.Generational Baggage: A fascinating look at epigenetics and how the stress your grandmother felt could be living in your nervous system today.The Body Keeps the Score: Stacey opens up about her autoimmune diagnoses (Endometriosis, Raynaud’s, RA) and how she put her RA into remission by combining medical treatment with deep somatic release.Micro-Gratitude: The specific, no-cost strategy Stacey used to rebuild her safety when she had $500 to her name and a family to feed.Human Skills > Soft Skills: Why you cannot effectively lead a team or a business until you understand the "parts" of you that are driving the bus.Quotables:[02:07:50] "Trauma is the way that you are living to protect yourself from touching that wound."[03:03:00] "I didn't know that I took for granted that I can pay my bills... I wanted to be grateful for all of it while I had it because I never knew when I would not have it."[03:23:01] "No one's broken. You just adapted to life in a way that's no longer working for you."Links and Resources:Connect with Stacey Uhrig:Instagram: www.instagram.com/staceyuhrigWebsite: www.flipyourmindset.comHURRT Assessment: www.flipyourmindset.com/hurrt8-week course on healing anxiety: www.flipyourmindset.com/thecalmcodeBook Recommendations from this Episode:Break The Cycle by Dr. Mariel BuquéIt Didn't Start With You by Mark WolynnBully Market by Jamie Fiore HigginsThe Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor MatéThe Biology of Trauma by Dr. Aimie ApigianFind them all here: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/book-recommendationTosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

As another year wraps up, you may find yourself reflecting on what you achieved, what you didn’t, and where you hope to go next. It’s a natural process, but it can easily stir up a voice we know all too well: The Inner Critic. This week’s episode on The Unlock Lab, I address the inner critic that measures your success harshly. I highlight the importance of setting your own measures based on what matters to you rather than what others expect, and how to understand and tame the inner critic through a compassionate and truthful self assessment. This is a reminder to celebrate your achievements and to see your inner critic for what it is - just one part of you trying to keep you protected and safe from disappointment. Tune in to learn how to reclaim what success means to you, and end the year grounded in trust instead of self-judgment. Episode Highlights:Shift out of the inner critic negative loopThe inner critic rarely considers reality; the unexpected challenges, shifting priorities or global uncertainty that shaped your year. Reflect on how you have lived this year; did you show up for yourself and others with integrity?Quotables:[00:07:54]"Let's remember that inner critics tell you lies. Let's remember that this work of mastering and shifting our inner critic dialogue is to check for the actual truth. 'Cause your inner critic is feeding you lies, and we're not gonna have it. We're not gonna end our year in despair because our inner critic is running amuck."[00:12:58]"As you think about your measures of success, you can ask yourself; What types of things did you prioritize? And you may need to really sit with that for a minute because you are prioritizing and reprioritizing your life every single day. It's constant. And with all the things going on in the world, sometimes the prioritization was just maintaining our sanity and not falling into a deep hole of despair, and that is valid as a priority."[00:19:12]"I want you to consider what season have I been in? Was it a season of grief? Was it a season of personal growth and focus on self? Was it a season of giving yourself permission to just be and stop engaging in the hustle culture? Maybe it was a season of building your confidence and going slower and being more assured in your decisions."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Open wounds in relationships can throw off how we move in the world because it causes us dis-ease not only in our mind, but often in our body too. In this week’s episode, I dig into what it takes to move through relationship unrest when the other person can’t show up, won’t take responsibility, or simply isn’t able to meet you where you are. It's a big and emotional topic, but finding healing and resolution within yourself holds so much power. Once you stop waiting for an apology or a resolution that may never come, you finally start reclaiming your peace. I share personal stories about over-giving, ignoring red flags and staying in relationships long after receiving signs that you outgrew them. Tune in to hear how healing comes from taking responsibility for your own emotional process, practicing self-forgiveness, and accepting people exactly as they are, not as you wish they were.Episode Highlights:Heal without an apology, to take your power back.Healing happens when you feel and release your emotions, not by waiting for time to pass.Recognize your relationship patterns, and what you need to shift to attract what you need now in your life.Quotables:[00:06:45]“ Time does not heal all wounds, what heals all wounds is you actively taking action for your healing. That's what works. Time will pass, but if you're not taking action on finding resolve within yourself around these relationships, it's not just gonna go away on its own.”[00:10:17]“ Healing our relationships is a process of self forgiveness. It's also a process of loving the other person through who they are right now, and what their limitations are right now, and this can even include family.”[00:32:10]“ One of the things I also wanna leave you with in your relationship healing journey is to ask yourself, do you miss the person or do you miss the idea of who you wish that person could be for you?”Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com