Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Check out Sam’s new special “Incorrect“ on Netflix! SPONSORS: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/YMH. Ready to regrow your hair? Start your free online visit today at https://hims.com/YMH for personalized care-from hair to ED to weight loss and more. https://hims.com/YMH Find pieces made for real life, and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get five percent back on every purchase. Head to https://Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Go to https://helixsleep.com/ymh for 20% Off Sitewide. Sup, chomos! Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome this week with your new stepdad, Sam Morril, whose new special Sam Morril: Incorrect is streaming now on Netflix. Before the opening clip even rolls, the two are swapping notes from their European tours: Finnish house whiskey, Budapest's Terror House museum, the world's oldest Ferris wheel from The Third Man, and post-communist roller coasters with no safety bar. From there it's reliving Garth Brooks discovering Facebook from a hotel bed, Sam's Ryan Gosling and Matthew McConaughey crushes, the rat extermination from Sam's special, and a Main Mommy breakfast of Prozac, coffee and whiskey. before they spiral into JFK, Marilyn Monroe, and Bill Clinton's jujitsu-level charm. Plus: Christina's TikTok curations include Chinese Girlfriend guy, the infinite pocket jeans, a chili dog video that would not end, hillbilly beatbox, the night New Orleans cops read Sam's joke notebook out loud, and the YMH courtship hotline remains open for business. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 881 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:04:42 - Finnish Whiskey & Budapest's Terror House00:09:30 - Dark Tourism & Post-Communist Roller Coasters00:16:28 - Opening Clip: M. Night Shyamalan's Movie Diary00:20:45 - Garth Brooks Discovers Facebook00:28:35 - Temptation On The Road & Rat Whisperer Sam00:34:20 - Rich Depressed Celebrities & Bombing On Purpose00:41:39 - Infinite Pocket Jeans & Christina's Quadruple Ds00:45:15 - Deadbeat Dads, JFK, Marilyn Monroe & Picky Eaters00:50:58 - Christina's Curations: The Chinese Girlfriend Guy00:56:56 - The Cops Read Sam's Joke Notebook01:00:59 - Grizzly Man & Why Christina Hates Nature01:04:25 - The Never-Ending Chili Dog Video01:08:07 - Hillbilly Beatbox & Degenerate DMs01:15:38 - Is It Cake?01:18:22 - Closing Song - "Mommy Fart'n In Yo Face" by DJ Boy Butter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Presale tickets for Toms new tour Preposterous go live September 30th at 10am. Make sure to get yours over at https://tomsegura.com/tour and use code: TOMMY Salt Lake City Pootah, the Main Mommy herself will be in you on October 9th and 10th at Wiseguys Comedy Club! Make sure to get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates SPONSORS: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code MOM, spend five bucks to get $150 in rewards within 14 days - includes all markets. Visit https://www.sleep.ME/ymh and never sleep too hot again. Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/ymh Sup, chomos! Christina holds down the Mommy Dome this week with fellow San Fernando Valley girl Sara Weinshenk, and the two have officially traded lives: Christina's the single mom now, and Sara is three years into dating a single dad with two little boys and packing up for Austin. They kick off the hot-tip swap with an Opening Clip of Cardi B laying down the law on never pooping at a new man's house, which spirals into emergency dumps at Taco Bell, a guy in the room who takes 20-second shits with no phone, and whether breaking the fart seal is the real romance killer. From there it's mommy juice, Prozac princesses, the all-girls Catholic high school they both went to, exchange day at the boys' school, and Sara confesses to $200 of abundance candles, psychic Zooms, and moon manifesting in Topanga, and the two agree that playing it cold is the only way to date. Plus: celebrity news with Sandy B, M. Night Shyamalan's new YouTube channel where he flips through his leather-bound journal ("I had to fire a 13-year-old today") and reads his one-line 9/11 entry, a dental floss chili dog in a thermos, vending-machine chimichangas, Texas school shanks, a man who kisses his birds goodnight, and a couple who keeps monkeys in diapers, a buffalo, and a capybara. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 879 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as $50 click-to-claims every 7 days for 14 days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:03:37 - Opening Clip: Cardi B's Dating Rules00:14:29 - The No-Pooping Rule & Taco Bell Emergencies00:21:10 - Breaking The Fart Seal & Single Dads Who Cook00:25:58 - Playing It Cold & The Parking Lot Pisser00:31:01 - Heartbroken White Women & The Witch Doctor Store00:37:50 - Sandy B & M. Night Shyamalan's YouTube Diary00:50:20 - Christina's Curations00:56:16 - Smash Or Pass & Moving To Texas01:03:28 - Bird Kissers, Malibu Pigs, & Monkeys In Diapers01:10:11 - Fake Shower Couples, Male Model Boyfriends, & Wrap01:13:49 - Closing Song - "Cool Girl Club" by Versace Kolache Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: -Go to https://helixsleep.com/ymh for 27% Off Sitewide — Exclusive for listeners of Your Mom's House. -For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/YMH for your free online visit. -Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Mom's back! This week, Christina's holding down the Mommy Dome with your fav stepdad Duncan Trussell, and she opens with a status report: off the Domino's, back on vegetables and hydroponic lettuce, cat art again. Duncan informs her she's accidentally enlisted in the war against hedonism, and they go straight into the void, plant medicine vs. getting fucked up for fun, starting a spiritual practice as an act of aggression against yourself, and Duncan's three theories of what happens when you die, including the one that terrifies him most: blinking into a stranger's midlife as a cab driver in New York, forever. They also pull up the Heaven's Gate doc and rank it the most disappointing cult in history, and Duncan mounts a full defense of the stability of all men. Christine's got some wild curations including a man harvesting tree bark with his teeth, a Lake Tahoe hippie who trades meditation classes for a room, a guy who wants $100 and your car for his DMV test, and a woman who is furious that you think her rabbit is Winnie the Pooh. Then Christina admits she met Zac Efron in the Mothership green room, Duncan diagnoses the only viable strategy, and she composes and sends him a message live on the show. Plus: an AI girlfriend for a man with dementia, whacking material in Airplane!, the dead panther chameleon and the $400 robot duck replacing him, which animal Christina's face actually is, a Hungarian guy to screen her calls, why no man is meeting her kids until they're 18, and a waxing video that takes the mustache with it. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 877 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:40 - The War On Hedonism 00:06:04 - Self-Help & AI Girlfriends 00:17:54 - Opening Clip: Get Ahold Of Me, Please 00:22:48 - Three Theories Of What Happens When You Die 00:28:30 - Heaven's Gate: The Most Disappointing Cult 00:35:33 - Duncan Defends All Men & The Gym Guy Conspiracy 00:41:52 - Garden Hermits 00:44:32 - Horny For News Anchors 00:49:32 - Christina Messages Zac Efron 00:55:20 - Eating Dicks In London & Page Six 01:05:53 - Christina's Curations 01:09:33 - Cool Robot Duck 01:14:25 - More TikToks 01:23:33 - Wrap Up 01:24:49 - Closing Song - "Fartin" by Terry Nova Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices