2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

SPONSORS: If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, Aligning for the Agentic Era: How AI Is Changing Everyday Work, at https://netsuite.com/BEARS. Start your free online visit today at http://hims.com/bears for personalized care-from hair to ED to weight loss and more. Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! Sign up for your free Shopify trial at https://shopify.com/bears This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer check in from the road, with Tom in Atlanta and Bert in Philly on his Permission to Party World Tour. The Bears debate whether they'll watch the Pentagon's livestreamed firing squad execution of the Fort Hood shooter, then dig into the SiriusXM Raw Dog Radio shakeup that had comics coming after Sebastian Maniscalco, and how one video turned into Bert starting a comedians union (Leanne is handling it). From there, Bert swears he'll die with his beard, finally tells Tom about the shot in Bad Thoughts season two he can't believe made the cut, and gets fired up over hood horse racing in Mississippi. Plus: Mike Ditka's one-take steakhouse commercial, Michael Jordan finding his lost championship rings in a forgotten safe, Chamillionaire's $25,000 autograph, Barry Sanders and The Fridge, and Tom getting pitched hair transplants. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 343 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:06:15 - Should You Watch The Fort Hood Shooter's Execution? 00:12:14 - Black Horse Racing & Sprinting On A Horse 00:19:31 - Bert Will Die With This Beard & The Bad Thoughts Shot 00:24:52 - SiriusXM, Raw Dog Radio, & The Sebastian Maniscalco Backlash 00:35:19 - Bert's Comedians Union 00:41:25 - Spam Calls & Mike Ditka's One-Take Commercial 00:46:34 - Michael Jordan's Lost Championship Rings 00:56:52 - Barry Sanders, The Fridge, & Elway's Two-Minute Drill 01:03:07 - Tommy Time & Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Presale tickets for Toms new tour Preposterous go live September 30th at 10am. Make sure to get yours over at https://tomsegura.com/tour and use code: TOMMY SPONSORS: Head to https://superpower.com/bears for $50 off your membership. Get 150+ biomarkers tested every year plus a personalized health plan and on-demand care team. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod Start learning a new language TODAY with Babbel. Right now listeners can save up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, Aligning for the Agentic Era: How AI Is Changing Everyday Work, at https://netsuite.com/BEARS . Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://ShipStation.com, with code cave. This week, Tom is off somewhere, so Bert Kreischer is joined by the legendary Rob Lowe, back in the Cave to talk about his new movie The Musical, the Sundance comedy with a twist so audacious the big distributors were too scared to buy it, now playing in theaters. Rob breaks down the 18-day shoot, the moment that makes audiences gasp, and why a small theatrical run still beats a mystery streaming "hit." From there, the two get into learning stick on La Cienega, LeeAnn's endless story recaps, Tom Cruise pulling his own tooth for The Outsiders, and Paul Newman's legendary hangs. Bert opens up about his Free Bert season two meltdown and the night he forgot how to yawn, Rob shares what 36 years of sobriety taught him, and they pitch the ultimate Netflix show: 24 Hours with Rob & Bert, starring Mark Wahlberg as Dirk Diggler. Plus: Usher's house tour, Bryson DeChambeau's eagle, and the national anthem bit. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 341 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:39 - Skinny Bert & Driving Stick On La Cienega 00:10:43 - Bert Doesn't Listen & The Cousin Who Can't Eat Anything With A Hoof 00:23:54 - Tom Cruise Pulled His Own Tooth & Butch Cassidy Cool 00:32:05 - The Musical & The Twist Nobody Would Buy 00:48:40 - The Night Bert Couldn't Yawn 00:54:54 - Measured Drinking & Rob's 36 Years Sobriety 01:00:37 - Paul Newman 01:05:43 - Rob's Headshot Composites & Growing Up Before Phones 01:11:15 - Timothée Chalamet, Press Tours, & Tom Cruise's Perfect Day 01:20:22 - Mark Wahlberg's 4AM Club & Bryson DeChambeau's Eagle 01:32:11 - Stunt Flying With Tom Cruise & & The National Anthem Bit 01:41:58 - Humble Sons & Usher's Netflix House Tour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Check out Hoop and Huddle, YMH Studios' new comedy sports show, hosted by comedians Luke Touma & Nate Marshall. Two friends talking basketball, football, and whatever ruined their weekend. Less "analysts breaks down the tape," more "your boys yelling at the TV." https://www.youtube.com/@UCdaQbXFKAuvKcZcwieo8A6A SPONSORS: Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! The DraftKings Sports app is now live in all 50 states! Head to https://dkng.co/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Welcome back to the cave! Hunter Biden says he's 48% gay, which raises the only question that matters: what percent are you? Bert and Tom build the math from zero, clothes, dicks, physiques, saunas, eye patches, a $5,000 face laser, and Bert climbs a lot higher than he expected to. Along the way: why Bert can't watch Sophie Cunningham highlights, the uncomfortable truth about loving Jason Williams, John Stockton's total lack of pizzazz, the hunt for a white DB in the NFL, Bert calling his dad mid-episode to check the family for slave owners (Tom's family does not come out clean), Bert's sister telling him to grow up about his sleep anxiety, Ila volunteering to fight Tom's ten-year-old in the Octagon, the 2:30am Dodger Stadium aftermath, a device that grades your poop, and Bert's full-throated defense of the Philadelphia Eagles' male cheerleader. Plus: this week's Mountain Dew summer sizzle submissions, including one that requires $2.6 million of CGI and one that just shuts Bert up. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 339 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com In Partnership with DraftKings. The Crown Is Yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get $50 in Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year, issued every 7 days via click to claim for 21 days. 1 non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends July 19th. Terms at https://dkng.co/audio. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Hunter Biden Says He's 48% Gay 00:06:23 - Clip Farms, Sophie Cunningham, & Jason Williams 00:15:32 - John Stockton, White Boxers & Tim Dwight 00:29:23 - California's Slavery Bill & Bert Calls His Dad 00:34:41 - The Girlfriend, The Sister, & The Fight Challenge 00:42:34 - The Dodgers Game Aftermath & A Whoop For Your Toilet 00:46:11 - Male Cheerleaders, Female Urologists, & Checking Out Men 00:52:38 - Hiding From Lightning With A Grindr Meetup 00:59:05 - Comedian OnlyFans & Ohtani's $17 Million Translator 01:05:44 - Mountain Dew Summer Sizzle Submissions 01:11:34 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices