Being Human

It's pretty wild: Being Human has reached episode 300. Dr. Greg gathered his friends to celebrate, and the celebration quietly became an example of what this show has been saying all along — being human can't be done alone. Dr. Greg is joined by Dr. Bryan Violette and his wife Teresa, along with Dr. Gerard McNicholas, to look back on 300 episodes of the podcast. Then a simple question about Teresa's new hobby opens into something far more personal, and gives a first taste of what comes next: Being Human Together. Key Topics: Why what you start in faith rarely turns out to be what you thought you were building Why the thing you're most upset about is often standing in for a grief you haven't named yet How a hobby you'd rather not talk about can be the most honest thing about you right now Why the people closest to you can sometimes see your grief before you do Why your favorite song can make you feel completely understood — and strangely alone when you share it How art slips past the part of you that would rather explain a feeling than feel it Learn More: Past episodes remembered in this conversation: Where it all started: Ep. #1: The Beginning Ep. #225: Humility, Time Travel and Philosophy with Peter Kreeft — Dr. Greg's favorite Ep. #102: ADHD and Me, w/ Teresa Violette Ep. #231: Music as Accompaniment: Matt Maher and a Mission to Heal through Song Ep. #172: A Journey through Faith and Music with John Michael Talbot Ep. #291: OCPD and Scrupulosity: How the Worship of Rules and Control Leads to the Loneliness of Certainty Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary: Why Real Change Happens through Love not Willpower The CatholicPsych Show — the live news show Dr. Greg and Dr. Bryan hosted Dr. Greg on The Lila Rose Show St. John Paul II's Letter to Artists The Personalist Cure by Dr. Greg Bottaro Missed the Summit of Integration? Catch the replays, including Christopher West's keynote on the Feast of St. John Paul II Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

You've been called lazy. Maybe you've been told you're just bad at your job. But what if that was never the problem at all — what if you've simply been sitting in the wrong seat? Dr. Greg sits down with his good friend Dr. Bryan Violette to explore what the Working Genius reveals about the work that drains us. Along the way, they make the case that even the parts of us we're most embarrassed by are usually protecting something good: our dignity. Key Topics: Why the task that grinds you down says more about your gifts than about your character Why "you're lazy" is usually the wrong story — and "wrong seat on the bus" is often the right one What "adaptive narcissism" is actually protecting Why shame doesn't produce lasting change — it just teaches you to hide better Why "I'm not myself today" gets it wrong, and why curiosity about the part that just showed up works better Why giving yourself away fills you up, even though handing over your coffee only leaves you with an empty cup Learn More: Join us at the Summit of Integration in Dallas, October 20–23, celebrating the Feast of St. John Paul II (virtual tickets available) The 6 Types of Working Genius by Patrick Lencioni — the framework Dr. Greg and Dr. Bryan discuss throughout the episode Gaudium et Spes — the Vatican II constitution behind "Christ reveals man to himself" and finding ourselves through a sincere gift of self Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

John Paul II is the most important psychologist of the twentieth century — and almost no one knows it. In three dense paragraphs on the subconscious, he named what Freud got wrong and gave us a fuller picture of the human person. Dr. Greg sits down with Fr. Randy Sly to trace how a pilgrimage through Poland turned a philosopher he'd studied for twenty-five years into a father he'd finally met — and why that kind of encounter, not more theory, is what integration actually asks of us. Key Topics: What John Paul II saw about the subconscious that Freud missed entirely Why studying a saint for twenty-five years isn't the same as actually meeting him How explaining integration can be the very thing that keeps you from it Why you don't have to be in crisis to need help becoming who you're meant to be What it means to be a channel instead of a closed loop — and why receiving isn't optional if you want to keep giving Learn More: Join us at the Summit of Integration this October in Dallas — launching the Year of St. John Paul II The Personalist Cure — Dr. Greg's upcoming book, launching this October at the Summit Sign up for our newsletter Fr. Randy Sly's podcast: The Follow to Lead Podcast Integration Pilgrimages — the encounter-focused pilgrimage Dr. Greg helped lead this summer Practice Catholic mindfulness to find the presence of God in the moment Go deeper in the integrated life through the Integrated Life app and community John Paul II on the subconscious: Person and Act and Related Essays by Karol Wojtyła Duc in Altum Schools Collaborative Black Elk Healing Retreat (Wyoming) Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

Not knowing what comes after graduation feels like failing. It's not. The real problem is the pressure to have it all figured out. Dr. Greg sits down with college senior Sandy Napolitano to talk about the anxiety of life after graduation — where the fear of the unknown really comes from, and why discernment starts the moment you stop trying to force certainty. Key Topics: Why "What's your plan?" quietly writes God out of the decision How the need for a plan can be fear wearing the mask of responsibility Why starting at the end — not the next step — makes half your options disappear Why naming a fear out loud drains most of its power How the experience that changed you becomes the one you most need to integrate Learn More: The Personalist Cure — John Paul II's blueprint for a Catholic standard of psychology Join us in Dallas, Oct 20–23: Summit of Integration Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

Scrupulosity often looks like devotion — but when fear takes over, even our spiritual life can become consumed by doubt, checking, and the search for certainty. In this episode, Dr. Greg Bottaro continues the series on OCPD and perfectionism, exploring the difference between a healthy conscience and a scrupulous one, why mercy can be hard to trust, and how our experiences shape the way we see God. Holiness was never meant to be an endless audit — it was meant to lead us into relationship with the One who loves us. Key Topics: How reciting the truth about mercy in your head does nothing to change what your body still believes Why certainty about being forgiven is the one thing this pattern can never actually get Why confession, meant to bring peace, can quietly become just another form of checking How the voice you call your conscience might actually be a punishing voice in disguise Why the face you're afraid God is making at you was never really His How the saints wrestled with scrupulosity — and what finally brought them peace wasn't more proof Why doing this work alone almost always makes the pattern worse How the way out can feel too easy to trust Learn More: Previous episodes in this series on Obsessive Compulsive Personality Patterns: Ep. #290: "I'm Only Loved When I'm Perfect": The Lie Fueling Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Ep. #291: OCPD and Scrupulosity: How the Worship of Rules and Control Leads to the Loneliness of Certainty Episode referenced on spiritual bypassing: Why "Everything Happens for a Reason" Isn't Working: The Holy Words We Use to Avoid Healing Join us at the Summit of Integration this October in Dallas — launching the Year of St. John Paul II Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation. Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment. Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

Perfectionism doesn't always come from loving excellence. Sometimes it's the only way you've ever known how to feel safe. In the first episode of a new series on Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, Dr. Greg unpacks how perfectionism, rigidity, and control take root—and why, underneath them, control quietly fills the space where trust was supposed to be. Key Topics: Why the pursuit of perfection is often less about loving excellence and more about not feeling safe without it How "until I'm perfect, I'm not loved" becomes the sentence an entire personality gets built on Why one small mistake can feel like disconnection instead of just a mistake How conscientiousness and perfectionism can look identical from the outside—and the one thing that tells them apart Why you can get everything right and still never feel free to rest Why the love you keep trying to earn was already given—before you got anything right Learn More: Person and Act and Related Essays by Karol Wojtyła (St. John Paul II) — the anthropology of self-possession and self-gift behind this episode Join a future Black Elk healing retreat at the Hawkeye Ranch in Wyoming Episode referenced on spiritual bypassing and scrupulosity: Ep. #288: Why "Everything Happens for a Reason" Isn't Working: The Holy Words We Use to Avoid Healing Inner Parts Easy Conversation Guide — an audio guide to get to know your inner parts. Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

$20 billion in research. Suicide rates 32% higher than the year 2000. Something is deeply wrong — and it isn't a lack of effort. In this episode, Dr. Greg makes the case that the mental health crisis isn't a funding problem or an awareness problem. It's a standard problem. Without a vision of what a healthy human person actually looks like, the best we can do is manage symptoms. And he introduces something new: a Mental Health Litany and Novena beginning May 15th — nine days of prayer leading into Pentecost, naming the specific fears and lies beneath our patterns and bringing them before Christ. Key Topics: Why decades of funding and awareness haven't moved mental health in the right direction Why the absence of symptoms is not the same thing as health What Catholic anthropology offers that the mental health industry doesn't have Why the Church has been slow to speak into mental suffering — and what that silence has cost How a litany does something that silence and symptom-management can't What it looks like to bring anxiety, depression, and trauma into Catholic prayer — by name Learn More: Download the Mental Health Litany and join the Novena: catholicpsych.com/litany Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier: The book Dr. Greg references that argues our current mental health treatments may be making the problems worse Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn