Flying Free

This is Part Three of our series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. You are the woman people call when something complicated needs solving. You read rooms, spot patterns, and get it right. And yet in this one area of your life, you have been told that your judgment, specifically, cannot be trusted.Key Takeaways:Why the very perceptiveness that makes you exceptional everywhere else has been deliberately turned off in your marriageWhat is actually happening when religious systems tell you to wait, and who is really benefiting from your patienceHow to tell the difference between genuine knowing and fear, and which one you have most likely been carrying all these yearsWhat "blind adherence" has to do with faith, and why the real version of faith might look completely different than what you have been taughtThe one question that changes everything when someone tells you to wait a little longerGet Today’s Free Resource:🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

What if an AI could help you organize your abuse evidence, understand your trauma, and save you thousands in legal fees?Aimee Says isn't just another AI tool—it's a specialized digital health platform that understands power and control dynamics, helps you document patterns of abuse, organizes your evidence for court, and keeps your data completely private and encrypted. Whether you're trying to understand what's happening in your marriage, preparing for custody battles, or just need someone to help you see the patterns you can't yet name, this tool could change everything.🔑 Key Takeaways:Privacy matters: Unlike ChatGPT, Aimee Says doesn't use your data to train AI models, and your conversations are encrypted and completely private which is critical when you're dealing with abuse.Specialized training: Aimee is educated in power and control dynamics, trauma-informed care, family court systems, and the intersection of faith and abuse. Timeline and documentation: The paid version tracks everything you tell it, creates timelines of abuse, identifies patterns, and organizes evidence in ways that family court judges and attorneys actually want to see.Removes the emotion: Aimee takes your raw, emotional experiences and translates them into clean, professional documentation that won't trigger the "allergic reaction" judges have to trauma responses.You are the one rescuing you: The women who fare best are those who stop waiting for someone else to save them and use tools like this to take back control of their own stories.Get Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.Anne Wintemute is the Co-Founder and CEO of Aimee Says, the AI companion for victims and survivors of domestic violence. She is a fierce champion for the rights of survivors and children, and systems that hold perpetrators accountable.Prior to working with survivors, Anne founded and directed an elementary school that became a model for micro-schools across the United States. In her spare time, she enjoys urban homesteading with her partner and their blended family in Denver, Colorado.

If you've been told that staying married "for the kids" is the most loving choice you can make, this episode will challenge everything you thought you knew about protecting your children.The truth is, emotional and spiritual abuse doesn't just harm you, it rewires your children's brains, damages their attachment systems, and poisons their relationship with God. Research shows that staying in a high-conflict, abusive marriage can be up to 10 times more damaging to children than divorce. And when abuse is wrapped in religious language, the harm multiplies. Your kids aren't just losing safety, they're losing their ability to experience God as loving and trustworthy.🔑 Key Takeaways:Emotional abuse causes documented brain changes in children: Studies show literal changes in brain development, delays in developmental milestones, and difficulty processing positive feedback.Children don't have to be direct targets to be harmed: Simply living in an environment of coercive control, manipulation, and contempt creates lasting damage.Spiritual abuse acts as a multiplier: When abuse is justified with God's name or Bible verses, children develop profound guilt, anger at God, and the belief that God is punishing and untrustworthy.Divorce isn't the problem - conflict is: Research shows that 80% of children from divorced homes grow up healthy and successful when at least one parent provides safety and stability.You can be the protective factor: One safe, emotionally attuned caregiver can change everything. Your healing and presence matter more than a legal document keeping the family "intact."📌 Relevant Links and Resources:🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. 🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming that was not only destroying me, but also my children. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

Emotional abuse in a Christian marriage doesn't just damage your mental health. It corrodes your spiritual foundation until you can't tell the difference between God's voice and your abuser's voice anymore.🔑 Key Takeaways:Emotional abuse doesn’t just affect your mind and body. It wounds your soul.Natalie draws a powerful connection between emotional abuse and spiritual damage, especially for Christian women who’ve been taught not to trust themselves.When you’re conditioned to distrust your own inner knowing, spiritual confusion sets in. This leads to internal conflict, spiritual isolation, and the inability to differentiate between God's voice and the voice of your abuser.The church’s role often compounds the harm. Religious teachings that equate self-trust with rebellion against God cause many women to stay in abusive situations out of fear of divine punishment.You were never meant to worship at the altar of someone else’s control. God doesn’t ask you to sacrifice your voice, sanity, or safety. He offers freedom, not bondage.📚 Natalie Reads from Her Memoir: All the Scary Little GodsTimestamp 2:00–20:30Natalie reads Chapter 58: “Bible Counseling”, which recounts two devastating encounters with so-called “biblical counselors.” These counselors weaponized scripture to enforce submission and silence rather than support.Through deeply personal storytelling, she illustrates how spiritual guidance can become a vehicle for psychological and spiritual gaslighting.🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. 🔗 Other Links and Resources Mentioned🧭 Free Resources & Support — Visit flyingfreenow.com📕 Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage — Order on Amazon https://amzn.to/4o5FCM8💌 Join the Flying Free Kaleidoscope — Visit joinflyingfree.com

In this episode, I walk you through five crucial differences between a healthy Christian marriage and an emotionally abusive one.🔑 Key Takeaways:Healthy marriages = clarity, respect, and growthAbusive marriages = confusion, control, and punishmentIf you're constantly walking on eggshells, it's not normal. God never asked you to sacrifice your soul on the altar of someone else's entitlement.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. Related Resources:Check out the first two parts of this eight-part series: “The 10 Most Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Marriage” and “The Art of Saying No: Setting Boundaries When You've Been Trained to Say Yes.”

Have you ever been told that saying "no" makes you selfish? That good Christian women never rock the boat, always serve with a smile, and definitely do not have thoughts of their own?This episode is Part 2 of our Emotional Abuse 101 series, and today we’re diving into the art of saying no.If the idea of saying no makes your stomach flip or sends you into a guilt spiral, this episode is your lifeline. I’ll walk you through WHY it’s so hard to say no and HOW to start saying it anyway with confidence and without apology.Key Takeaways:Saying no without guilt is an adult skill, not a rebellious sin. People-pleasing is often a trauma response. Your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s just been doing its job a little too well.You don’t need permission to have boundaries. You’re not waiting for anyone’s approval. Boundaries ≠ controlling others. Boundaries = choosing how YOU respond when others misbehave.There’s neuroscience behind this. Your brain can be rewired to feel safe even when saying no. Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereGet a FREE chapter of Is It ME? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, along with the companion workbook for that chapter, by going to flyingfreenow.com. I'll also send you the Freedom Letters. (Also free. 😉 )🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE.

In this episode, I get down and dirty with a topic that triggers all the rule-followers and religious gatekeepers: salvation. Not the flannelgraph-Jesus kind where you prayed the “magic words” at age seven and then spent the next 30 years terrified you did it wrong. Nope. I’m talking about real, liberating, soul-exploding salvation.This one’s especially for you if you’ve ever stayed in an abusive marriage because you thought God would be mad if you left. If you’re exhausted from trying to please “godly” authority figures who think they are mini Popes. If you’ve prayed the salvation prayer 73 times just to be sure it “took.”Key Takeaways:Belief isn’t a checklist. It’s not about doing the right things, following the right leaders, or avoiding the wrong music. It’s about trusting that Christ already did it all.The gift of salvation is already yours. Yes, even if you cuss, leave your abuser, or buy non-organic lettuce.Many Christians are still hoping for a salvation that is already theirs. Why? Because we’ve been taught to fear God more than we trust Him. The verse “God hates divorce” has been weaponized. (Psst…it doesn’t say what you think it does, anyway. Listen to find out what the Bible actually says in Malachi.)You can experience the joy of salvation the moment you believe it’s real. Like full-body joy. (Really!)Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereListen to my book, All the Scary Little Gods, FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com.Related Resources:If this episode was helpful for you, you’ll love these two episodes, too: “Two Hotel Rooms: One Rescue Mission” and “Praying for a Miracle — When the Miracle Might Be You Walking Away.”

It’s time to talk about the two kinds of people in this world: the seekers and the stuck.In this episode, I dive deep into the real reasons why some lives transform after abuse while others continue to feel stuck.We’re unpacking:Why healing is not about labeling your abuser a narcissist and calling it a day How to know when you’re ready to move from survivor to thriver.What your philosophy of life has to do with your emotional garden.Why reading one more Instagram post about toxic people isn’t going to transform your life.And how your anger might just be the spark that gets you out of the cage.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Listen to my book, All the Scary Little Gods, for FREE!Liked this episode? Then check out these two other Flying Free episodes, “An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything” and “How Pretending and Fear Keep You Stuck in Abuse Cycles.”