Helping Couples Heal Podcast

In this episode, Marnie welcomes back her friend and longtime collaborator, Gemini Adams, a renowned somatic practitioner. Together, they explore a missing piece of the healing journey that many couples overlook: the body. While traditional talk therapy is vital, Marnie and Gemini discuss why cognitive understanding often isn’t enough to move couples out of the painful, repetitive cycles of betrayal trauma.Gemini shares her personal journey from living with the effects of complex PTSD and chronic conflict avoidance to finding what she calls "conflict confidence." They dive deep into the science of the nervous system, explaining why the betrayed partner is often "flooded" with sensation while the betrayer may be completely numb or dissociated.This conversation is a foundational look at the tools needed to move out of survival mode and back into what Gemini calls the "Green Zone," the place where relational connection and empathy actually become possible again.In this episode, you’ll learn:The Power of Interception: Why many survivors lose the ability to feel their own physical needs and how to begin reconnecting with their body’s cues.The Relational Nervous System: Why you literally cannot listen, retain information, or connect with your partner when you are in a state of fight, flight, or freeze.Numbness vs. Flooding: How to understand the different trauma responses between the person who caused the harm and the person who was betrayed.Building "Adult Self": How somatic skills help you stay grounded as an adult rather than being "ping-ponged" by inner-child survival responses.Triggered to Together: An introduction to Marnie and Gemini’s new program designed to help couples manage triggers and crisis moments in real-time. Click here to learn more about the upcoming 12-week Triggered to Together programs for couples and individuals. Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.

In December, I released a podcast called The Ten Core Wounds of Betrayal, which explored the deep and lasting wounds experienced by betrayed partners. In this follow-up episode, we turn toward the other side of the rupture - the often unseen and rarely discussed wounds carried by those who do the betraying.This conversation is not about justifying or minimizing betrayal. Instead, it’s about understanding the internal landscape that often exists beneath betraying behavior. Drawing from clinical insight and relational patterns, this episode explores ten core wounds commonly experienced by people who betray - wounds that can show up in both men and women, while also acknowledging that some tend to appear more frequently in men due to socialization, attachment patterns, and emotional conditioning.By naming these wounds - such as shame, emotional disconnection, unmet attachment needs, and identity fractures - we begin to see betrayal not as random or purely selfish, but as something that often emerges from unresolved internal pain. Understanding these wounds can be a powerful step toward accountability, empathy, and meaningful repair.Whether you are a betrayed partner seeking clarity, someone who has betrayed and wants to understand yourself more deeply, or a couple navigating the long road of healing, this episode offers language, insight, and perspective to help move the conversation away from blame and toward connection, healing, and ultimately, transformation.Click here to receive your free worksheet.Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute Zoom call.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, a therapist, trauma survivor, and author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be. They explore a topic that is often misunderstood and shamed: the intense and very normal anger experienced by betrayed partners after betrayal.For too long, the clinical field has labeled this anger as “vengeful” or “unforgiving.” Crystal helps us flip that narrative, showing why anger is a natural, healthy response to the profound injustice of betrayal and an important part of the healing journey.In this episode, you will hear about:Why anger is a natural response and how betrayal creates deep emotional and nervous system reactionsThe S.C.I.P. Protocol, Crystal’s 4-step tool, Sit down, Calm down, Identify, and Process, for navigating triggersAnger on the brain and why it is impossible to reason through a trigger when the amygdala is hijackedReframing for the partner who betrayed and how accountability, consistency, and presence can reduce ongoing angerMoving toward repair and how seeing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a flaw supports connection and empathyBy reframing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a character flaw, couples can move from defensiveness to empathy, and from shame to true repair.Click here to download Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck’s S.C.I.P. Protocol.Click here to purchase Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck’s book, Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be.Want to connect with us? Click here to book your free 15-minute call.

When betrayal enters a relationship, it doesn’t just break trust - it fractures a person’s sense of self, safety, and connection. In this episode, we explore the ten core wounds that betrayed partners often experience, each one carrying its own story and its own emotional truth:Worthiness Wound – “I’m not enough.”Safety Wound – “I’m not safe.”Reality Wound – “I can’t trust myself.”Control Wound – “I have to manage everything.”Belonging Wound – “I’m alone in this.”Burden Wound – “I have to carry everything.”Abandonment Wound – “You’ll leave me.”Inadequacy Wound – “I’m not as good as what I was betrayed with.”Powerlessness Wound – “I didn’t have a choice.”Trust Wound – “Trust is dangerous.”Each wound reveals a different layer of the emotional devastation betrayal creates - and each one shapes how betrayed partners think, feel, and try to protect themselves in the aftermath.In this episode, Marnie breaks down what these wounds look like in real life, how they impact day-to-day interactions, and why healing them requires understanding, patience, and consistent repair. We also talk directly to betrayers, offering a compassionate but honest framework for recognizing the impact of their actions and supporting their partner’s healing journey.This episode is an invitation to move beyond surface reactions and into the deeper emotional landscape of betrayal - where clarity, empathy, and repair become possible. This episode is an invitation to move beyond surface reactions and into the deeper emotional landscape of betrayal - where clarity, empathy, and repair become possible.Click here to download your free worksheet. This worksheet walks both partners through all ten wounds, helping identify which ones are active, how they’re showing up, and what healing might require. Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.Visit our website to learn more about Empowered at Sea and Empowered on Land.

In what was originally intended to be a structured discussion on “The Ten Steps to Constructing the Secret Sexual Basement,” this episode took an unexpected and deeply personal turn. Instead, I’m joined by Dr. Omar Minwalla for a raw, unfiltered conversation that traces the arc of our individual and shared professional journeys.What unfolds is a rare, intimate glimpse into the foundation of a long-standing friendship - one built on mutual respect, hard truths, and a shared commitment to integrity, even when it’s uncomfortable or controversial. We talk openly about what it means to stay committed to telling the truth, to each other and to the work, despite pushback or disagreement.This was never meant to be a public conversation - but by the end, we both felt that what emerged was too meaningful not to share. I believe listeners will find resonance, insight, and maybe even a sense of companionship and loyalty in the honesty of this exchange.Dr. Minwalla will be back soon and hopefully next time we’ll get to the secret basement. Until then, this is something different… and maybe more important.Want to connect with us? Schedule your free 15-minute call here.

In this continuation of our conversation with Chandler Rogers, we dive deeper into his journey of recovery from pornography addiction and the ongoing challenges of healing within his marriage. Chandler shares honestly about what it means to keep showing up in the work of recovery—not just for himself, but for his relationship—and how hope can grow even in the midst of setbacks. We also explore Chandler’s powerful decision to create Relay, an app designed to fill in the gaps he saw in traditional recovery support. Relay was born out of his own experience and the recognition that people struggling with addiction need consistent accountability, connection, and encouragement outside of therapy or group sessions.Chandler's story is an important reminder that Recovery is ongoing. Healing from porn and sex addiction isn’t a one-time choice—it’s a daily practice of showing up for yourself and your relationship. This episode offers inspiration, practical insight, and a reminder that healing—both personally and in a marriage—is possible when we’re willing to reach for support and keep leaning into growth.Want to Learn more about Relay? Click hereConnect with us by booking a free 15-minute call!

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Chandler Rogers, a recovering porn addict and the founder of Relay, a group-based recovery app designed to support those on their healing journey. Chandler shares his personal story of seeking help for his addiction long before it was discovered—a rare and powerful experience that sheds light on the strength it takes to face the truth head-on.He opens up about the vulnerability it required to be honest with his now-wife early in their relationship, the ups and downs of recovery, and the reality that honesty doesn’t erase the ongoing struggles. Chandler reflects on moments of setback, the weight of shame, and the vital role that connection, accountability, and personal ownership have played not only in his healing but also in inspiring him to create a community where others can find hope and support. Also, be sure to catch Marnie's conversation with Scott and Susan Rankin just before the podcast starts about the HCH Online Couples Community, a supportive space designed for deep connection and healing, opening its doors to a small group of couples this September.Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call

In this powerful and eye-opening conversation, Marnie sits down with renowned author and therapist John Lee, whose classic book Growing Yourself Back Up has helped thousands understand the profound impact of emotional regression on adult relationships. Together, we explore what emotional regression is and how it silently shapes our reactions, the difference between responding as an empowered adult vs. a wounded child, and how identifying your own triggers and patterns of regression can create healthier relationships.We introduce practical tools for recognizing when you’ve been “emotionally hijacked” and how to avoid relational ruptures in those moments. Perhaps most important, we discuss the importance of developing the necessary awareness and compassion that can break cycles of blame, withdrawal, fighting, and relational despair. If you’ve ever wondered why certain moments with your partner (or any loved ones) trigger outsize reactions or why the wounds of betrayal take over in the heat of conflict - this conversation is for you.Learning how to spot and shift emotional regression is one of the most empowering skills we can develop—for ourselves and our relationships.Buy John's book Growing Yourself Back Up Here!Purchase The Anger Solution Master Class Here!

In this deeply honest and compassionate episode, Betrayal Trauma Coach, Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Adam Nisenson shares his personal journey through the heartbreak of being betrayed by his wife—and how that experience transformed both his life and his work. Now the founder of betrayalshrink.com, Adam offers vital support and resources for men navigating the aftermath of infidelity. We explore the raw realities of male betrayal trauma, the often-overlooked emotional toll it takes, and how men can begin to reclaim their sense of self and safety. Adam also discusses his powerful book, A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal: Overcoming the Pain & Repercussions of a Cheating Partner, offering practical guidance and insight for those ready to begin healing. This conversation is a lifeline for anyone walking the lonely road of betrayal—and a testament to the resilience of the human heart. Check out Adam’s book- https://a.co/d/fdk7BMI Take the MBT (Masculine Betrayal Trauma) Recovery Assessment https://www.betrayalshrink.com/mbt-assesment

In this honest and deeply personal conversation, actor, writer, director, songwriter, and musician Josh Radnor opens up about his journey away from pornography and alcohol, and the deeper realizations that led him there. Together, we explore the often-overlooked harms of porn — how it distorts intimacy, disconnects men from their emotional selves, and shapes the way boys grow into men. Josh reflects on the cultural messages that normalize these habits, the pain they often mask, and the liberation he found in stepping away. This episode is a call to curiosity, compassion, and courageous self-inquiry — for anyone questioning what true connection really looks like.Subscribe to Museletters by Josh Radnor- https://joshradnor.substack.com/See Josh Radnor on Tour: https://www.joshradnor.com/tour

We’re re-releasing a very meaningful podcast episodes for all the women who missed it the first time—or haven’t yet heard about the EmpowerHer Program. The transformations we’re witnessing inside this group coaching program are breathtaking. It’s the kind of healing and reclamation we wish for every woman—but especially for those who’ve walked the painful, disorienting road of betrayal.In this episode, Marnie and Ilyse share the story behind the creation of EmpowerHer—a program born from the need to support women in the aftermath of betrayal, whether they’re staying, leaving, or still unsure.Betrayal often throws women into a world they never asked to enter—one filled with trauma, addiction, infidelity, and confusion.It’s easy to get stuck in survival mode, feeling shattered, lost, and disconnected from who you truly are.EmpowerHer shifts the focus inward. It offers a new kind of conversation—one centered around self-reconnection, emotional safety, and personal power. This is about rebuilding from the inside out: reclaiming confidence, restoring intuition, strengthening your voice, and creating a vision for the life you want.You’ll learn more about the EmpowerHer program and how to join—either as a self-paced course or through our 12-week guided group experience, with the next cohort beginning April 14, 2025.If you’ve felt the nudge toward healing, clarity, and wholeness, this is your sign.We invite you to book a free 15-minute consultation call here: https://keap.app/booking/helpingcouplesheal2/free-15-minute-zoom-call or send us an email at support@helpingcouplesheal.com

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with Gary Katz, LCSW and CSAT about the complex dynamics surrounding infidelity, pornography and betrayal that impact sexuality and intimacy. If you are struggling with sexual and intimacy-related issues after betrayal, including desire, safety, rejection and arousal, this episode will offer clarity and compassion and and opportunity to begin to explore the complexity of sexual and relational healing.