How To Connect With An Audience

How To Connect With An Audience

From How To! with Charles Duhigg by How To!

May 26, 2026 · 33 min · Episode 389

About this episode

Mike Pesca helps guitarist Dillon Kondor improve his stage presence with insights from singer-songwriter Sharon Van Etten.

Guitarist and orchestrator Dillon Kondor knows his way around a stage. It's everything in between the songs that trips him up. Speaking to a crowd, filling the silence, not coming off stiff or defensive, that's where his confidence disappears. After too many gigs derailed by awkward pauses and self-protective sarcasm, Dylan reaches out to Mike for help. On this episode of How To!, Mike brings in the perfect guide: singer-songwriter Sharon Van Etten, who knows firsthand what it's like to freeze in front of an audience. Sharon opens up about her own early battles with social anxiety and makes the case that great stage presence has nothing to do with rehearsed jokes or arena-ready charisma. She walks Dylan through how to think about a crowd, not as people to impress, but as friends you're about to grab a drink with, and shares practical strategies for pacing a set list, turning nervous energy into something the audience can feel good about, and letting go of the armor that self-deprecation can become. Then fast-forward to 2026 to check back in with Dylan and find out how those lessons on connection and worthiness actually changed his relationship with performing. Executive Producer…

People in this episode

Host: Mike Pesca

Guests: Dillon Kondor, Sharon Van Etten

Topics covered

  • stage presence
  • audience connection
  • social anxiety
  • performance confidence
  • music

Keywords

  • stage presence
  • audience connection
  • social anxiety
  • performance
  • music tips

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Peach Fish Projects, How To!

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