Ladies, We Need To Talk

Mid-life is hard enough, but what happens when you add a baby to the mix?The average maternal age has been creeping up over the past twenty years, with more women than ever becoming first time mums in their 40s, delaying motherhood to build careers, travel, find the right partner, secure housing, or navigate infertility.Having a baby later in life can be exhausting. Sleep is elusive, many women are edging perimenopause and the risks to both mother and baby can increase. Then there's the judgement — the sideways looks, the inevitable question: are you the mum or the grandma?Yumi Stynes meets two first time mums who fell pregnant in their mid-40s to talk about the challenges and the joys of being an older mum.Plus women's health expert Dr Karin Hammarberg weighs in on the risks- and rewards- of waiting.This episode will answer questions like:Can I get pregnant after 40?Can you get pregnant when you're 45?Why do women delay getting pregnant?Should I wait to get pregnant?What are the chances of getting pregnant over 40?What is a geriatric pregnancyIs it harder to get pregnant after 40?What to listen to next:Surrogacy: why women carry babies for others — ABC listenIs your attachment style messing with your love life? — ABC listenFelicity Ward on motherhood, depression and a sexual rebirth — ABC listenLast shot pregnancy — ABC listenWhat to read next: Why these women have never had a partner — ABC NewsThe surprising health benefits linked to having a baby at 35 and older — ABC News This episode contains references to pregnancy, dating, marriage, babies, toddlers, children, conception, TTC, sex, IVF, in vitro fertilisation, motherhood, donor eggs, maternity, parenthood, cancer, geriatric pregnancy, Advanced maternal age, pregnancy after 40, fertility after 40, Hilary Swank, Gisele Bundchen

What’s it like to parent when you can’t see your kid? Nas Campanella, the ABC’s National Disability Affairs reporter, knows there’s many ways to be a great mum. As a blind woman, she’s navigated internalised ableism, and copped BS from strangers. Through it all, she’s given the middle finger to expectations and come out the other side stronger.She talks to Yumi Stynes about the quiet strength that comes from trusting her own instincts and the deep bond she’s formed with her son. This episode will answer questions like: What’s it like to be a mother while vision impaired? How do blind parents use sound, touch and voice to care for their babies?What are the biggest challenges of parenting with a disability? How do you keep children safe without relying on sight? How do people use sound, touch and instinct to read their baby’s needs? What public scrutiny do disabled parents receive? How do you raise an empathetic child? What to listen to next: I love you but go away: Women taking marriage sabbaticalsLife without boobs: Meet the women staying flat after breast cancerBody image and babies with Turia Pitt and Sophie WalkerWhere's my village? Esther Perel on how to build communityYou can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: Why these women took marriage sabbaticals — and how it wentBuilding a village means showing up even when it feels hard, says Esther PerelWhy Kate chose to 'stay flat' after breast cancer surgeryWhy genital herpes does not mean the end of your sex lifeThis episode contains references to disability, vision impaired, blind, mother, parent, National Disability Affairs reporter, ABC, work-life-balance, working mum, child, baby, parenting, teaching, attachment.

How does it feel to be betrayed by the person you love most? Women open up to Yumi Stynes about being cheated on and picking up the pieces of their shattered hearts.There's the fishy feeling you try to shake off, finding texts, unearthing emails, wondering if you're paranoid. And then, the moment of truth and painful aftermath. From Beyonce to Lily Allen, queens everywhere have wondered, "How did I get caught up in your double life??"For some women, infidelity destroys the foundation of trust forever. For others it leads to bloodletting and rebuilding the relationship.Featured in this episode: Christina Spaccavento, sex and relationships counsellor This episode will answer questions like: What does it feel like to be cheated on? How do some women find out their partner has been cheating on them? Why do people cheat? Can you stay in a relationship after infidelity? How do you rebuild trust after cheating? What to listen to next:Women who cheatIs everyone having better sex than me?The new way to dateHow pop culture f*cked us up, with Sophie GilbertYou can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next:Why Kate chose to 'stay flat' after breast cancer surgeryHow Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhoodWhat loving someone with an addiction or dependence can look likeThe dark side of being a perfectionistThis episode contains references to sex, marriage, cheating, West End Girl, Lily Allen, Madeline, Beyonce, David Beckham, Victoria Beckham, Becky with the good hair, Shakira, Lemonade, infidelity, women, family, emotional cheating.

What’s it like to switch teams mid-season? Nicola was married to a man for 25 years before she fell in love with a woman. Jennifer and Marija were in their 40s when everything they knew about their sexuality changed. Yumi Stynes chats to later-in-life lesbians to hear what they’ve learned from swapping sides. She also gets the low-down on sexuality research across the life span, and why so many women are coming out in their second act. What to listen to next:How swapping a husband for a wife made this economist better offWhere's my village? Esther Perel on how to build communityWill we ever have a cure for endometriosis?Hacking online dating with Prof. Jennie YoungYou can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: Why Kate chose to 'stay flat' after breast cancer surgeryHow Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhoodWhat loving someone with an addiction or dependence can look likeThe dark side of being a perfectionistThis episode will answer questions like: What’s it like to fall in love with a woman in middle age? Are some women straight and then turn gay? How common is bisexuality? How fluid is sexuality? What does it feel like to have sex with a woman for the first time? This episode contains references to sexuality, family, mother, parenting relationships, lesbian, gay, straight, sex, orgasm, religion.

If you've ever been with a guy who thinks jackhammering is a virtue or who can't tell your clitoris from your clavicle, this episode is for you! (Pssst share it with a bloke you know).Yumi Stynes chats to comedian and expert dater Nikki Britton about what makes for good sex.Plus, sex therapist Aleks Trkulja, from The Pleasure Centre, gives tips on how to take on feedback in the bedroom.This episode will answer questions like: What do women want in sex? How are women and men’s sexual desires different? What can I do to increase arousal? What are common turn offs? What are the fundamental elements of good sex? What to listen to next:Is everyone having better sex than me?The new way to dateWill we ever have a cure for endometriosis?Shedding the shame of herpesYou can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next:Why Kate chose to 'stay flat' after breast cancer surgeryHow Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhoodWhat loving someone with an addiction or dependence can look likeThe dark side of being a perfectionistThis episode contains references to sex, gender, men, women, clitoris, mental load, marriage, sex life, therapy, masturbation.

Esther Perel is on a mission to make us feel less alone. The world renowned psychotherapist says we've lost touch with the village but she's here to help us reconnect. Esther chats to Yumi Stynes about how to foster a community and stop putting pressure on romantic partners to fulfil our needs. She shares her own story of seeing her parents build a village as refugees, and how she learnt to lean on her chosen people when her family needed it most. If you’re feeling isolated or just want to bolster your community, this episode offers practical way to find and maintain your village. This episode will answer questions like: What is a village?How can I build a village?How does having a strong community impact romantic relationships?How did Esther Perel build a strong community?What's at stake when we don't have a village?How can we all combat loneliness?How do we ask for help?What to listen to next: Deepa Paul on opening her marriageEmotional labour with Rose HackmanRelationship resuscitation — coming back from the brinkYou can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: Building a village means showing up even when it feels hard, says Esther PerelWhy Kate chose to 'stay flat' after breast cancer surgeryHow Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhoodWhat loving someone with an addiction or dependence can look likeThe dark side of being a perfectionistThis episode contains references to Esther Perel, village, community, friends, romantic relationship, marriage, resentment, therapy, couples therapy, Mating in Captivity, Where Should We Begin, personality styles, extroversion, introversion, love language.

When she was 16, Pub Choir's Astrid Jorgensen wanted to be a nun. So how did she end up in pubs, night after night, teaching people to sing?For years, Astrid felt like she didn't belong to the world of music. But she found her way in, on her terms. Astrid was never going to be an elite Opera singer, but in rediscovering the joy of singing for the sake of it, she invited the world to sing along too.Astrid has fused her unique talents together to create Pub Choir — the largest choir in the world. She teaches everyday punters to sing a three-part harmony, where the audience becomes the performers.Yumi Stynes sits down with Astrid for a candid conversation about the messiness of life, how she found her voice and began singing to her own tune.What to listen to next: Turia Pitt is a selfish womanMental health: Anxiety and how to beat itWill we ever have a cure for endometriosis?You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next:How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhoodWhat loving someone with an addiction or dependence can look likeThe dark side of being a perfectionistWhy genital herpes does not mean the end of your sex lifeThis episode contains references to Pub Choir, Bulimia, Backstreet Boys, Cher, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Africa, Cranberries, Zombie, Dolores O’Riordan, Toto, Average at Best, music teacher, spiritual quest, religion, abusive teacher, music, audiation, sensory, senses, conducting, choir, crowd, stage.

With "wellness" advice from influencers flooding our feeds, it's hard to sort fact from absolute nonsense and know what to eat to feel good.Enter Laureate Professor in nutrition and dietetics, Clare Collins. Yumi sits down with Clare to get the low down on the good stuff we should be eating on and the nasty stuff we should avoid. How much protein is enough? Is fibre a big deal? Are probiotics bulls*#t?This episode will help you turn down the noise on nonsense diet trends and listen to what your guts are telling you.What to listen to next: Calling out wellness bullsh*t with Dr Jen GunterStepmums: Why do they get such a hard time?Endometriosis: Pain, periods, medical gaslightingClare and Jessie Stephens on twinning, pregnancy and envyYou can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhoodWhat loving someone with an addiction or dependence can look likeThe dark side of being a perfectionistWhy genital herpes does not mean the end of your sex lifeThis episode will answer questions like: What is your gut? How does your gut affect your mood? Is your gut connected to your mental health? What is your microbiome? How do you keep your microbiome healthy? How much fibre do women need? How much protein do women need? What are emulsifiers? What foods are bad for the gut? How does the mind-gut connection work? What is the connection between the gut and dementia? What is the Mediterranean diet? What is the MIND diet? This episode contains references to microbiome, diet, diet culture, emulsifiers, fibre, protein, women's health, influencers, menopause, depression, anxiety, bacteria, Mediterranean diet, vegetables, processed food, FODMAP.