PD RAW

Have you ever had one of those nightmares where you are in a group of people and something really humiliating has happened?Shame is such a deep, powerful emotion. It makes us hide parts of ourselves in order to fit in.Some of the theories about the development of personality disorders are that the young child buries many parts of themselves which their caregivers cannot deal with. These parts become hidden from the child themselves as they develop.It is said that our hidden parts drive us, and we are mostly unaware of this.Some further reading about why people might have hidden parts of themselves:Borderline Personality DisorderNarcissistic Personality DisorderAvoidant Traits

Ryan faced addiction, rehab and the breakdown of his relationship as he wrestled with accepting his diagnosis. With the support of a therapist, he was finally able to face his inner turmoil, and now speaks openly about his NPD in an effort to help others and to live with honesty and vulnerability.

Guide is a young person affected by a complex diagnosis, but who is facing it with determination and clarity.

Therapist Lisa Charlebois talks about treating people grappling with narcissism, what to look for in a therapist and her experiences with a borderline mother.Lisa has been brave enough to be open about recognising that she was a narcissist in college as she was studying counselling, which has allowed many of her clients to drop their barriers and be open with her. She says that narcissistic and borderline issues are much more common than is commonly believed, and that we need to be more open and less ashamed of them. Lisa also has written a book, available on Audible or Amazon, about understanding and dealing with narcissism and offers an online course for people with narcissism who wish to work towards healing.You Might Be A Narcissist If...https://healingyournarcissism.comFor anyone who can't afford the course, these are free resources which I personally found very helpful:https://openlibrary.org/works/OL3954057W/Humanizing_the_narcissistic_style?edition=key%3A/books/OL2738573Mhttps://www.antrodichirone.com/index.php/en/2017/01/11/the-dance-between-two-personality-disorders-a-delicate-relationship-balance/https://depthcounseling.org/blog/ngiam-narcissism-kohuthttps://www.counsellingservicemelbourne.com.auhttps://evolutioncounseling.com/masochism-explained/https://evolutioncounseling.com/sadism-and-masochism-are-both-about-control/https://www.emotionenhancement.com/single-post/enmeshment-trauma-and-how-it-impacts-your-relationshipshttps://www.mcleanhospital.org/npd-provider-guidehttps://www.amandarobinspsychotherapy.com.au/articles/npd-recoveryhttps://www.relatenow.co.uk/content/mens-mother-complex-rape-heart

Finn talks about her recent realisation of the possiblity of qualifying for an NPD diagnosis, and looks back at her relationships with a new perspective.

Relationships between people with Borderline Personality Disorder or traits  and people with grandiose narcissism are extremely common. What is going on in these dynamics?  Grandiose narcissists and vulnerable narcissists are also a very common pairing. These relationships can be best viewed as occurring between someone with a dominant personality style and someone with a submissive personality style. As someone diagnosed with both vulnerable narcissism and BPD, Nota chats to Mud, who was diagnosed with NPD and has the grandiose version, as they try to unravel some of the strands on this intriguing combination.   Some links to resources for further reading (a "dominant" personal style can also be seen as embodying a "sadistic" personal style, and a "submissive" personal style can also be seen as embodying a "masochistic" personal style:  https://whatiscodependency.com/narcissists-are-codependents-too/ https://www.antrodichirone.com/index.php/en/2017/01/11/the-dance-between-two-personality-disorders-a-delicate-relationship-balance/ https://evolutioncounseling.com/sadism-and-masochism-are-both-about-control/ https://evolutioncounseling.com/understanding-the-masochistic-life-solution/ https://evolutioncounseling.com/sadism/ https://evolutioncounseling.com/sadists-need-their-victims-and-would-feel-like-nothing-without-them/ https://evolutioncounseling.com/abusers-need-help-too/  

On today’s episode Nota and Few sum up a conversation initially taking place on the forum and now brought to life on the pod, thanks to the largesse of our newest and first patron, temporaryfeeling. The unpaid janitors analyze and reflect on the themes of children’s aggression, the relation between isolation, insecurity, and stunted development to grandiosity, superiority, and devaluing/cultlike attitudes, and how different solutions in different families to the topic of aggression can yield varying capacities for self defence later in life. Significantly, what happens in the child’s development when you hold them responsible or blame them for their feelings as they are trying to work these issues out for themselves, leading to compensating behaviours and attitudes as they attempt to flee the vulnerable position of being the one who is shamed.    To anyone who’s listening who’d like to be on the pod but think the exposure is a bit too much/don’t like the sound of their own voice, please take this episode as indicative of formats Nota and myself are willing to embrace to help people get their stories out there, and a thanks to temporaryfeeling yet again for suggesting it.