Psychologists Off the Clock

We’ve all been there: you’re scrolling through your feed, watching someone bake sourdough from scratch in a pristine linen dress, and suddenly your own life feels incredibly messy and chaotic. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Debbie and Emily are pulling back the curtain on the hyper-curated worlds of social media influencers, reality TV, and the massive "tradwife" trend.Grab your headphones and get ready for a much-needed reality check on why we need to be way more skeptical of what we see on our screens.Listen and Learn: What happened when Debbie fell down a Ballerina Farm rabbit holeHow glamorous images of the past conveniently leave out the harsh realities of history, like poverty, oppression, and environmental harmHow reality shows feed us false ideals, driving us into a spiral of social comparison and reinforcing toxic, patriarchal beauty standardsWhy chasing these unrealistic lifestyles actually hurts our well-beingThe rise of fear-based pseudoscience, MLMs, and totally unqualified "mental health influencers" who are just looking for clicksResources: Debbie’s recent Substack post on Tradwife Influencers: https://open.substack.com/pub/drdebbiesorensen/p/trad-wife-influencers-reflectionsThe critique Debbie mentioned about how making cereal from scratch is a leisure class activity: https://www.tiktok.com/@professorneil/video/7339254814578150661 Maintenance Phase podcast: https://www.maintenancephase.com/ The Dream podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc28XHKS2jYAbout Debbie SorensenDebbie (she/her) is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. She is author of the book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. She loves living in Colorado, her home state, with her husband, two daughters, and dog. When she’s not busy working or podcasting, she enjoys reading fiction, cooking, traveling, and getting outdoors in the beautiful Rocky Mountains! You can learn more about Debbie, read her blog, and find out about upcoming presentations and training events at her webpage, drdebbiesorensen.com.About Emily EdlynnEmily (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric health psychology who works in private practice with children, teens, and adults. She has a BA in English from Smith College, a PhD in clinical psychology from Loyola University Chicago, and completed postgraduate training at Stanford and Children’s Hospital Orange County. Emily spent almost ten years working in children’s hospitals before pivoting to private practice, which allowed her to start a writing career. Emily has written her blog, The Art and Science of Mom, since 2017 and a parenting advice column for Parents.com since 2019. Emily’s writing has also appeared in the Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, Motherly, and more. She recently added author to her bio with her book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent Confident Children and has a Substack newsletter. Emily lives with her husband, three children, and two rescue dogs in Oak Park, IL where she can see Chicago’s skyline from her attic window.    Related Episodes: 295. Buyer Beware: Pseudoscience and the Wellness Industry, featuring Pooja Lakshmin 390. Raising Empowered Girls in a Sexist World with Jo-Ann Finkelstein 311. Nobody’s Fool with Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris – Psychologists Off the Clock307. Navigating Social Media As a Parent with Cara Goodwin 433. Rethinking Screens and Video Games with Ash Brandin 382. The Anxious Generation? The Conversation We Should Be Having About Kids, Technology, and Mental Health 429. May Contain Lies with Alex Edmans See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you struggle with people-pleasing and losing yourself in relationships, this episode with Ingrid Clayton, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert in relational trauma, about her book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, is a conversation that can help you understand and transform patterns holding you back. Exploring fawning, which is a lesser-known trauma response shaped by caretaking, appeasement, and self-abandonment, you’ll learn how it often shows up as anxiety and hypervigilance. And, through personal and client stories, you’ll gain insights on reclaiming authenticity, navigating backlash, and starting the process of “unfawning.”Listen and Learn:Why do some people cope with relational trauma by becoming overly accommodating or pleasing?How people-pleasing might actually be your nervous system choosing safety in ways that once protected you, but could now be quietly shaping your identity and relationships without you realizing it, and what it actually takes to reconnect with who you areHow chronic fawning can look like emotional strength on the outside while quietly disconnecting you from your own anxiety and bodyHow what looks like dishonesty can actually be a survival response that once kept you safe, and what it takes to notice when it starts keeping you stuckHow tuning into what you notice in your body can be the first uncomfortable but powerful step to breaking people-pleasing patterns and building more authentic relationshipsWhy red flags can feel like home after emotional abuse and how learning to trust your own resentment might be the first step toward building a truly safe relationshipResources:Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9798217045327 Ingrid’s Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/ Connect with Ingrid on Social Media:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IngridClaytonPhD LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ingridclaytonphd/ Substack: https://substack.com/@ingridclaytonphd YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3PvWTgJMirURfgHWj3h28g About Ingrid ClaytonDr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master’s in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology.  She’s had a thriving private practice for more than sixteen years and is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, where her blog “Emotional Sobriety” has had more than a million views.  She lives in Los Angeles, California. Book: Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9798217045327Related Episodes:305. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson  308. Identifying and Surviving Gaslighting with Robin Stern 263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson 383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo417. Busting Trauma Treatment Myths with Emi Nietfeld416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn WalserSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Caregiving is often framed as a burden, but what if it’s also one of the most meaningful ways we come to know ourselves?Emily sits down with acclaimed journalist and cultural critic Elissa Strauss for this episode to discuss her extensive work on the politics and culture of parenting and caregiving, which has appeared in publications like The Atlantic and The New York Times. Centering on her new book, When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others, they challenge feminist notions that have undervalued caregiving and explore how caregiving can enrich one's sense of self. You’ll hear about the philosophical foundations of care ethics and how caregiving for various dependents, not just children, brings profound personal growth, scientific research on caregiver well-being, the importance of male caregivers, and also the need for systemic support for caregivers.Listen and Learn: How redefining caregiving, not as a burden, but as a powerful source of meaning and self-expansion, might change what we think feminism, motherhood, and what a “full” life actually look likeHow caregiving across parenting, disability, and aging becomes an intense, surprising mirror that reshapes identity and meaning in ways most of us never expectThe research that shows why caregiving doesn’t have to wear you down, and under certain conditions, it can actually make you healthier and even help you live longerHow one husband turned the challenges of caregiving into moments of quiet activism, love, and connectionHow does caring for others bring meaning, even when day-to-day life feels messy?What if the real barrier for working caregivers isn’t just the glass ceiling but the glass door separating home and work, and how breaking it could change everything we value about care?Why men’s brains change when they care for others, how caregiving reshapes masculinity, and what it really means for dads todayWhy caring for those closest to us isn’t just personal—it’s a radical philosophical lens that could change how we think about society itselfResources: When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781982169282Elisa’s Website: https://www.elissastrauss.com/Elisa’s Substack: https://elissa.substack.com/Connect with Elisa on Social Media: https://www.facebook.com/elissa.strauss.7/https://www.instagram.com/elissaavery/https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-strauss-742720112 About Elissa StraussElissa Strauss is a journalist, essayist, and cultural critic who has been writing about the politics and culture of parenting and caregiving for more than fifteen years. Her work appears in publications like the Atlantic, the New York Times, Glamour, ELLE, and elsewhere, and she was a former contributing writer at CNN.com and Slate. Her book, "When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others," is out now from Gallery Books, and she writes a Substack called "MADE WITH CARE."Related episodes: 444. Mattering with Jennifer Wallace441. Having It All with Corinne Low386. Parents Are Stressed: What Do We Do About It? With Emily, Debbie, and Yael356. Navigating the Challenges of Caregiving with Alison Applebaum354. A Family Guide to Dementia with Brent Forester275. Work, Parent, Thrive with Yael SchonbrunSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We all feel emotions every day, but how often do we stop to understand what they really are and how they work? Joining Michael for this episode is Ethan Kross, a renowned authority on emotion regulation and author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don’t Manage You, for a conversation about the science behind how our internal dialogue affects health, performance, and relationships. Ethan explains what emotions are, how they function, and the importance of teaching emotional regulation skills from a young age. He also covers various tools and strategies that can help you manage your emotions more effectively, shares examples from his books, and highlights significant studies.Listen and Learn: Why we have emotions and how they quietly shape our thoughts, bodies, and actions in ways most of us don’t fully noticeWhy meaningful moments almost always come with emotional friction, and what that reveals about living a purposeful lifeThe 50-year study that shows how early emotion skills shape health, money, and relationshipsWhat happens when logic is pushed too far, and emotions are removed, and how science suggests a more balanced approach that quietly shapes better outcomes in work, relationships, and lifeWhy managing emotions isn’t about suppressing them, but learning how you can use the right tools at the right time to keep them working for you instead of against youSimple mental shifts that help you move through discomfort and emotional blocks fasterResources: Shift: Managing Your Emotions--So They Don't Manage You https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593444412 Ethan’s Website: https://www.ethankross.com/Emotion & Self Control Laboratory: http://selfcontrol.psych.lsa.umich.edu/Connect with Ethan on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/ethankross/https://www.linkedin.com/in/ekross/About Ethan KrossEthan Kross is one of the world’s leading experts on emotion regulation. An award-winning professor and bestselling author in the University of Michigan’s top- ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he studies how the conversations people have with themselves impact their health, performance, decisions, and relationships.Ethan was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. He attended the University of Pennsylvania, where he was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated magna cum laude. After earning his PhD in Psychology from Columbia University, Ethan completed a post-doctoral fellowship in social-affective neuroscience to learn about the neural systems that support self-control. He moved to the University of Michigan in 2008, where he founded the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory.Ethan’s research has been published in Science, The New England Journal of Medicine, and The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, among other peer-reviewed journals. He has participated in policy discussion at the White House and has been interviewed on CBS Evening News, Good Morning America, Anderson Cooper Full Circle, and NPR’s Morning Edition. His pioneering research has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The New Yorker, Harvard Business Review, USA Today, The Economist, The Atlantic, Forbes, and Time.Ethan is the two-time National Bestselling author of SHIFT: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don’t Manage You and  CHATTER: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters and How to Harness It. His books are routinely featured in the worlds’ top media (e.g., New York Times, Wall Street Journal, BBC, The New Yorker), have garnered multiple accolades and been translated into over 40 languages. Related Episodes:309. The Language of Emotions with Karla McLaren265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren183. Permission to Feel: Emotional Intelligence with Marc BrackettSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So many women grow up hearing that we should be able to have it all, yet very few of us are ever shown what that actually looks like in real life.In this episode, Emily welcomes Corinne Lowe, an associate professor of Business Economics and Public Policy. Corinne shares insights from her book, Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours, which examines gender wage gaps, structural discrimination, and the pressures women face when balancing career, family, and personal life.This conversation focuses on redefining success in a way that truly fits your values, being more intentional with your time, and finding fulfillment on your own terms. You’ll also come away with practical strategies for workplace negotiations, rethinking productivity, and creating a more sustainable balance between work and life.Listen and Learn: How structural barriers limit women’s career and wage growth, and encourage redefining success by focusing on personal fulfillment and leveling up within those realitiesHow women face systemic workplace barriers that collectively limit their opportunities and earnings, and why addressing these issues benefits everyoneDebunking myths about women’s performance, showing that traits like negotiation skill and competitiveness are not inferior, and that focusing on evidence-based skill-building is what truly drives successUnderstanding and prioritizing your own “utility function” to help women focus on what matters to them, rather than constantly comparing themselves to othersHow to rethink your career as a tool for turning time into meaningful fulfillment, balance life’s chapters intentionally, and confidently understand your market value to make work serve youReclaiming your time, setting boundaries, and making intentional choices to focus on what truly brings joy and meaning to your family and life, instead of being trapped by guilt, obligation, or unrealistic expectationsReframing parenting and self-care as “human capital” investment, showing how the time and care you give to your children and to yourself is meaningful, economically valuable, and essential for long-term wellbeingResources: Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781250369512Corrine’s Website: https://www.corinnelow.com Connect with Corrine on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/corinnelowphd/https://www.linkedin.com/in/corinne-lowhttps://www.facebook.com/people/Corinne-Low Read More About Corrine’s Work on Substack: https://corinnelow.substack.com/ About Corinne LowCorinne Low is an Associate Professor of Business Economics and Public Policy at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania where she teaches an award-winning class (and was named one of Poets and Quants 40 MBA Professors under 40 in 2024). Her research on the economics of gender has been published in top journals such as the American Economic Review, Quarterly Journal of Economics, and Journal of Political Economy. Corinne and her work have been featured in major media outlets, such as The New York Times, CBS Mornings, Forbes, New York Magazine, and The Guardian. Corinne regularly speaks to and advises firms in addition to teaching in Wharton’s Executive Education programs. She is the author of Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women's Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours. She received her Ph.D. in Economics from Columbia University, her B.S. in Economics and Public Policy from Duke University and formerly worked for McKinsey and Company.Related Episodes:398. Finding Joy in Your Relationship with Money with Elizabeth Husserl357. Is Your Work Worth It? How to Think About Meaningful Work with Jennifer Tosti-Kharas and Christopher Wong Michaelson275. Work, Parent, Thrive with Yael Schonbrun245. Family Firm with Emily Oster206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky174. How to Work and Parent Mindfully with Lori Mihalich-LevinSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.