Your Attachment Style Is Not Your Personality

Your Attachment Style Is Not Your Personality

From Said in Therapy by Iman Tohami

May 24, 2026 · 12 min · Episode 60

About this episode

Iman Tohami discusses how attachment styles are often misused and what it takes to change relationship patterns.

You found the label. You took the quiz. You know you're anxious, or avoidant, or somewhere in between. So why does nothing actually change? In this episode, Iman Tohami breaks down how attachment theory, one of the most useful frameworks in psychology, became one of the most misused. We get into why calling yourself "anxiously attached" might be the very thing keeping you stuck, what the research actually says about how attachment works, and what it genuinely takes to shift the patterns that keep showing up in your relationships. Your attachment style is not who you are. It's what you learned. And that changes everything.

People in this episode

Host: Iman Tohami

Topics covered

  • attachment theory
  • psychology
  • relationships
  • personal growth
  • mental health

Keywords

  • attachment style
  • anxious attachment
  • avoidant attachment
  • psychology
  • relationship patterns

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